Episode Transcript
[00:00:30] Speaker A: Welcome to carrots and suffering a dnd odyssey. My name is Nate, and I am your dungeon master and monster Snuggler. Don't forget to leave us a rating and review. Our heroes are in Sternheim, a town first created by John Terra in the 1990s. Let's just get into it right away.
Last time on carrots and suffering it. Our heroes found a ruined castle in the thorns accessed by ancient escape tunnel. And it turns out Bulain remembers the incident that explains the enormous dragon skeleton left strown about here. There was a gold transport after the thorns had come up about 40 years ago, and it was problematic when some sort of supposedly flying creature stole the cart of gold and flew off with it. A team of heroes assembled to go deal with this. The team of heroes flew off. Red Arod off, apparently confronted this dragon, killed it, but it flew off into the thorns as it was dying and was never seen again. Neither was the gold. Our heroes ran into a group of fairy dwarves who had arrested Mayor Val for killing their pet and trespassing.
[00:01:41] Speaker B: What was his crime?
[00:01:42] Speaker A: To your people, trespassing and killing our pet.
[00:01:46] Speaker C: My condolences. It is very hard to lose a pet. Sometimes harder than losing a person.
[00:01:51] Speaker A: That is an absurd sentiment.
[00:01:56] Speaker D: I didn't think we would agree so quickly. But we agree.
[00:01:59] Speaker A: The team split in half, with Boein and Creedon negotiating for Mayor Val, with fairy dwarves and xeris negotiating with some cursed people who wanted to escape the tunnels and the thorns. But the two groups seem to be feuding over a pile of gold they.
[00:02:13] Speaker B: Found recently, try to negotiate with them to help out with their fuzzy people. Problem in exchange for the mare's release and possibly some of what we find.
[00:02:24] Speaker C: That's not a bad idea. We will attempt to obtain these three fuzzy people alive for you.
You tell us what their capabilities are before we go. And if upon our success, you turn over custody of Val to us along with all of his accoutrements.
[00:02:45] Speaker D: There's just a castle up there with some bones. As far as I know, there's one tunnel that goes out.
[00:02:50] Speaker A: Out of the Thorns even. Yes, I believe so.
[00:02:54] Speaker D: I can show you the way.
[00:02:56] Speaker A: That would be wonderful. I have two associates. Let me get them very quickly.
[00:03:01] Speaker D: Maybe we can remove your curse.
[00:03:04] Speaker A: Boulain crafted a plan to double cross the fairy dwarf side with the cursed tunneling humans trying to escape the thorns and take mayor Val back by force.
[00:03:14] Speaker C: So when we ventured into the tunnels below, unfortunately, we ran into your adversaries first. These fairy dwarves. And they have prisoner someone that we need because he owes quite an explanation to some people outside the thorns. So in negotiating his release, what they asked for was for us to turn the three of you over to them. And not knowing that you were from Fenrir or who you were, we agreed. And my impression is their intention is for you to become slaves. Now, I did not agree to hand you over tied up or disarmed.
[00:03:58] Speaker A: Okay. You pull the lock off, remove some of the extra chains, relock just a smaller portion of the chains around him, and Val doesn't say a word, stands up and doesn't say anything. Looks directly at you. Grayden.
[00:04:10] Speaker B: All right, I kind of want to walk him back towards. Basically to the back of the room towards the entrance that we came to.
[00:04:16] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:04:17] Speaker C: And then go time Boulane will cast fairy fire on the room.
[00:04:24] Speaker A: Okay, let's get into it.
[00:04:34] Speaker B: I feel like these were probably little gnome I'm imagining, like, garden gnome ninjas. I can't help but think that they are super dexterous.
[00:04:43] Speaker A: So, yeah. Two very tiny, four inch tall, glistening creatures are in the back room in the furthest corner away from you near the hallway. It's clear that they have purposefully given this room a lot of space. They look like they're ready to retreat based on their position, but they are wee little. About the size of the palm of larger person's hand.
[00:05:05] Speaker B: Oh, my God.
[00:05:06] Speaker C: Tiny, tiny, tiny.
[00:05:07] Speaker B: That's way smaller than I thought.
[00:05:09] Speaker C: Almost pixie size. Oh, God.
[00:05:10] Speaker B: Is there a swarm of them?
[00:05:12] Speaker C: No, there's only three, right?
[00:05:13] Speaker A: That we were told there were three. You see two.
[00:05:17] Speaker C: Okay.
All right. If they want to shoot at him, I'll let Ray Jordan, Lisa take the first shot.
[00:05:22] Speaker A: And with that, you see Ray Jordan and Lisa all pull their crossbows out pointing in them in that direction, and begin to open fire. I'm going to need initiative from everybody. Please and thank you.
[00:05:35] Speaker C: Lulain sure starts a lot of fights.
[00:05:39] Speaker B: Usually you aren't the one starting the fight.
[00:05:41] Speaker C: I know, right? Arguably, the last fight she started was really zero starting it. Which he later said he was not trying to start.
[00:05:49] Speaker B: I got a 15.
[00:05:50] Speaker C: I got a 1015 for Creedon.
[00:05:53] Speaker D: Just because I started it does not mean that I'm trying to start it.
And my initiative is a two.
[00:06:01] Speaker A: Oh, no.
Okay, sorry.
[00:06:05] Speaker D: That just means I'm pickup. You set them up, I'll knock them down.
[00:06:09] Speaker C: Yeah, your damage control.
[00:06:11] Speaker A: So the dwarves beat you on initiative and appear to have been waiting on something. Mostly because they saw the concealed weapons when you walked in.
[00:06:20] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:06:20] Speaker B: Shocker.
[00:06:21] Speaker A: The rogues, by the way, attempted to conceal their weapons. They rolled two nat ones and a 14.
[00:06:27] Speaker C: Shit.
[00:06:28] Speaker A: Guaranteeing that they were very armed.
[00:06:31] Speaker B: Two of them are just really incompetent. And one of them has it together.
[00:06:35] Speaker C: Yeah, Lisa's the one who has it together. Right.
[00:06:38] Speaker A: I mean, the dwarves are going to go first and you hear a glass, a piece of glass break.
And the two dwarves that you can see turn and start running away from you down the hallway in another direction. So they move about 50ft down the hallway. You can still see them because you cast a spell that makes them glow. And that's going to bring us to Creedon because they are running away from you in a cave. You will have disadvantage at this distance. But if you run after them, what is the distance? They are currently probably, gosh, 80ft from you.
[00:07:20] Speaker C: Okay.
[00:07:21] Speaker A: But it's down and through some cave structure, so you will need to chase after them if you would like to make a regular attack.
[00:07:28] Speaker D: It's just regular vantage, though, with fairy fire.
[00:07:30] Speaker C: Yeah, it's a regular attack. Fairy fire gives advantage on attacks on affected creatures.
[00:07:35] Speaker A: Okay, so it'd be a regular attack at the moment.
[00:07:37] Speaker B: Okay. Yeah, I don't want to run after them at the moment because I want to try to stay with a hand.
[00:07:43] Speaker A: On the mayor in the nice safe room.
[00:07:45] Speaker B: Well, no, I don't want the mayor to run off and at the moment I'm the closest one to him when I'm casting a spell. I think it might have. What is it, the gesture component?
[00:07:55] Speaker A: Yeah, you'll need at least one free hand.
[00:07:57] Speaker B: Yeah, but I want to keep one of my hands on the chain. The mayor just making sure that he doesn't run off. So I think I'm not going to move.
[00:08:04] Speaker A: You have the wand in the other hand, so you're good.
[00:08:08] Speaker B: But I will cast hex on one and then eldritch blast.
[00:08:12] Speaker A: Okay, roll to hit.
[00:08:13] Speaker B: And I'm going to make their disadvantage. Ability, wisdom.
[00:08:19] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:08:20] Speaker B: And.
Oh, no, that was a three to hit. I don't think that that's going to make it.
[00:08:26] Speaker A: It hits a stalactite and does not make contact with a dwarf. That brings us to Belain. They appear to be retreating and you heard the sound of broken glass.
[00:08:36] Speaker C: How close was the sound of broken glass?
[00:08:38] Speaker A: Pretty darn close. Like it's in the room with you. Go ahead and roll me a perception roll. This will be a bonus action, by.
[00:08:44] Speaker C: The way, natural 20.
[00:08:46] Speaker A: Oh, good. In the room near where you saw those dwarfs, there is a small glass vial that has been shattered on the ground. And you see an od. Purple smoke coming up out of it and then it hits the ceiling and goes through the stone. Kindly roll me a religion check.
[00:09:04] Speaker C: 18.
[00:09:05] Speaker A: That was some kind of trapped soul that they have released.
[00:09:09] Speaker C: Oh, shit.
[00:09:11] Speaker A: And it went up.
[00:09:12] Speaker C: And it went up. Okay. All right. So for Boulain's action, she's going to throw her bag of flour towards where the vial was broken to try to get some flour on this dwarf.
[00:09:23] Speaker A: Okay. You sort of fill the entrance of that tunnel with flour. There is no hole in it that would lead you to believe there was a dwarf there.
[00:09:30] Speaker C: And I think you said the perception check was my bonus. Action.
[00:09:33] Speaker A: Yes. That's going to bring us to the rogues. They are going to open fire. They will make regular attacks. That's a nat 20, a hit and a miss. So the two dwarves take shots from rogues. Ten damage and ten damage to the two visible dwarves. But the rogues do not give chase, they just shoot them. So they are staying in the room with you and zeros.
[00:09:59] Speaker D: I charge 60ft.
[00:10:02] Speaker A: Okay, 60ft. You can get up to them, but you probably can't attack this turn.
[00:10:07] Speaker D: Cool.
[00:10:07] Speaker A: Actually, go ahead and roll me. Athletics. Let's see if that's true.
[00:10:11] Speaker D: That's a 17 on the die, which is a 22 score.
[00:10:16] Speaker A: Nice.
[00:10:17] Speaker C: Okay.
[00:10:17] Speaker A: So you make much better time than they did with their tiny short feet. And you hit the ground, you sprint, you jump over a stalactite, you drop off of a five foot ledge and you are next to them and you may get one attack in shit.
[00:10:32] Speaker B: The idea of being a few inches high and having Zerus just charging at you is horrifying.
[00:10:39] Speaker D: I will go ahead and rage then and recklessly attack one of these little guys. No, I already have advantage.
[00:10:45] Speaker A: Okay, great.
[00:10:46] Speaker D: So I don't need to reckless.
[00:10:47] Speaker A: You already have advantage.
[00:10:48] Speaker D: I'm up on them. So I don't have the distance penalty.
[00:10:50] Speaker A: No.
[00:10:51] Speaker D: Wow. That's a pair of eights. That's great. At the craps table.
That's a 1214. Excuse me.
[00:11:00] Speaker A: Okay. Because they are so small, you really are having trouble hitting them. And that is going to bring us to the dwarves. The two dwarves next to you who are glowing suddenly become visible and you are looking at two white skinned, white beard, albino looking lawn gnomes. And they both immediately swell in size, growing until they are about seven and a half feet tall.
[00:11:26] Speaker C: Oh, dang.
[00:11:28] Speaker A: And they have huge mining picks with spiked hammers on the back of them. And you see, even though they are still glowing, a big smile pop up on their face as they look at you.
[00:11:41] Speaker D: I grim back at them. That's better.
[00:11:46] Speaker A: Meanwhile, Creedon, something appears right behind you, shocking. And slams a very tiny hammer on your foot.
[00:11:57] Speaker B: Ow.
[00:11:59] Speaker A: Breaks your toe. Oh, God. He rolls terribly.
[00:12:03] Speaker B: Motherfucker.
Stubbed my toe.
[00:12:07] Speaker A: Does a 14 hit your ac?
[00:12:11] Speaker B: It does.
[00:12:12] Speaker A: Okay. You are on a receiving end. Five damage as this. It's a pickaxe, a two handed pickaxe, but it's being held by a three inch tall creature, and so it's, I don't know, the length of a pencil maybe, but it hits you and it hurts like a son of a gun. Way more damage than you were expecting from something that size.
[00:12:36] Speaker C: It's like when you stub your toes by splitting them on a corner.
[00:12:40] Speaker A: Yeah.
You feel like one of your toes might be broken.
[00:12:46] Speaker B: Oh, my God.
[00:12:48] Speaker C: Step on him.
[00:12:49] Speaker B: This motherfucker.
[00:12:51] Speaker A: And it says, it looks up at you and it goes, boo.
Creedon, it's your turn.
[00:13:00] Speaker B: Is it a full action to throw my flower bomb around my foot?
[00:13:05] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:13:05] Speaker B: I think it's worth doing just so we can.
[00:13:07] Speaker A: He's visible at the moment because he became visible to hit you with a small hammer. Yeah.
[00:13:12] Speaker B: The flower would stay on him, though.
[00:13:16] Speaker A: The reason the flower bomb is helpful is because while the flower is in the air, there's a dwarf shaped hole in the plough of flower. As the flower settles on him, it turns invisible as well. Because he's invisible.
[00:13:29] Speaker C: You'd want to wait to use that.
[00:13:30] Speaker A: Until you'd want to use it when he's invisible.
[00:13:33] Speaker B: Okay. In that case, I think I'm just going to look at him with great hatred in my eyes. But then Eldridge blasts the one that I cast hex on. I can still see that one.
[00:13:43] Speaker C: Right.
[00:13:44] Speaker A: Because they didn't run further away. They didn't run further away? No.
[00:13:47] Speaker B: Am I still disadvantaged? Now that they're big?
[00:13:50] Speaker A: You now have a regular attack. They're still glowing. So a regular advantage. Yeah.
[00:13:54] Speaker B: Okay. So I do get advantage.
[00:13:56] Speaker A: You get advantage. Now they're biggins.
[00:13:59] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:14:00] Speaker A: They're bigger than zeros.
[00:14:01] Speaker B: Do that. Deal with our advantage rolls. All matching. That's a 1919.
[00:14:08] Speaker A: Okay, that hits.
[00:14:09] Speaker B: And that is 13 force damage and two necrotic damage.
[00:14:17] Speaker A: Yeah. Your heart collides with him, and he seems to really struggle under the power of love.
[00:14:26] Speaker B: Is the mare doing anything?
[00:14:27] Speaker A: Not yet.
[00:14:28] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:14:28] Speaker A: They seem weak to the power of love.
[00:14:31] Speaker B: Oh, shit.
[00:14:31] Speaker A: Seems very effective against fairies.
[00:14:34] Speaker D: Yeah, it's super effective.
[00:14:36] Speaker B: That's the power blow.
[00:14:39] Speaker A: Boulain.
[00:14:39] Speaker C: Boulain is going to leave. She's going to run down the tunnel because she figures if the rogues are still in the room with us, they can attack the one that just attacked Creedon. So she's going to run into the tunnel after Xeris and when she gets close enough she's going to cast bane on the two who are attacking zeros.
[00:14:57] Speaker A: Go ahead and give me an Athletics roll.
[00:14:59] Speaker C: I'm not good at athletics, dude.
Oh, that was a nine.
[00:15:05] Speaker A: Okay, you are slowed by the cave structure, so I'm only going to give you about 20ft of movement. What's the range on bane?
[00:15:14] Speaker C: 30Ft. So they're too far away.
[00:15:16] Speaker A: 30Ft. They are too far away this turn. So your choice is now. You can double move to make sure you're in range or you can do a different spell.
[00:15:23] Speaker C: I will do a different spell. I will do sacred flame on one of them.
[00:15:28] Speaker A: Okay. It will roll a saving throw.
[00:15:30] Speaker C: Neither one of them has taken damage, right?
[00:15:32] Speaker A: They both have.
[00:15:33] Speaker C: They both have, yeah. Oh, maybe I should do toll the dead instead. Yeah, I'll do toll the dead on whichever one has taken more damage.
[00:15:40] Speaker A: I fail.
[00:15:41] Speaker C: You fail. Excellent.
That is ten necrotic damage.
And can I do a bonus action or have I moved too much?
[00:15:50] Speaker A: No, you can do a bonus action.
[00:15:51] Speaker C: Okay. As a bonus action she's going to cast spiritual weapon on the other one.
That's an 18 to hit.
[00:15:59] Speaker A: Okay, that'll hit.
[00:16:01] Speaker C: And that is twelve force damage.
[00:16:04] Speaker A: Yeah, they don't look like they're in good shape, either one of them. At this juncture that's going to bring us to the rogues. They all turn and point at the tiny three inch tall thing that is basically on credence foot with their crossbows and you see them all hesitate and then they're like, yeah, I think we're done here.
[00:16:27] Speaker C: And they book it, don't they?
[00:16:29] Speaker A: And they turn to run for it.
[00:16:31] Speaker C: Fuckers.
[00:16:32] Speaker B: I think I'm near the doorway. Like, they will have to run past us because I was putting myself in the back.
[00:16:38] Speaker A: That is true. Do you want to stop them?
[00:16:40] Speaker B: Yes.
Okay, we had a deal.
[00:16:43] Speaker A: What is a skill you would like to roll to stop them? If you're just standing in the way? It's athletics.
[00:16:48] Speaker B: Can I try to persuade them by just shouting, where's your honor?
[00:16:54] Speaker C: Oh, they're thieves, Creedon. They're thieves.
[00:16:58] Speaker B: I don't know.
[00:16:59] Speaker A: Give me a persuasion role.
[00:17:01] Speaker D: I was thinking you should just intimidate them with a look.
[00:17:03] Speaker B: Creedon doesn't spend a lot of time with thieves. Growing up in the church, probably a little gullible.
That is a 21.
[00:17:14] Speaker C: Oh, shit.
[00:17:16] Speaker A: Yeah, they're, like, about to run around you, and they stop. And they're still not willing to shoot at your foot. But they seem to have decided they are not running away.
[00:17:25] Speaker D: Ziris, I chop one of these dwarves, the one that was hit by love.
[00:17:30] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:17:32] Speaker D: Swing. And a 16.
[00:17:34] Speaker A: A 16 just hits.
[00:17:36] Speaker D: All right.
[00:17:37] Speaker A: They are in some kind of fairy armor.
[00:17:39] Speaker D: Well, how does fairy armor feel about 16 slashing and three, radiant?
[00:17:46] Speaker A: Yeah. You cave in that fairy armor, and this fairy creature appears to crash to the ground, bleeding terribly. And it is done for.
[00:17:55] Speaker D: And silver.
[00:17:56] Speaker A: Oh, that'll do it. No. Dr. For that person. All right, the mayor is going to attempt something. Going to roll d 20 to see how it goes. Creedon, I need an athletics check if you're going to try to keep a hold of this mayor.
[00:18:08] Speaker B: Oh, boy. Yeah, I figured this would come eventually. I'm all alone.
That is a twelve.
[00:18:15] Speaker A: Okay. He's much stronger than you, so you lose hold of the chain. He dives across the room, still with his hands chained to his side, and reaches out, grabbing his glave with one hand.
[00:18:30] Speaker C: Oh, no.
[00:18:32] Speaker A: With his turn, he is going to absolutely fail to get loose from the chain he's in. But he's holding the glave in one hand, and he's still chained up. Dwarves. All right. The dwarf at your foot giggles and says, you're never getting out of here. And it runs up your pant leg.
Go ahead and roll me. Acrobatics. To avoid this dwarf's attempt to basically be unattachable.
[00:19:05] Speaker B: Eight.
[00:19:06] Speaker A: Oh, no. He gets a 17. Yeah. This dwarf disappears into your clothing.
[00:19:10] Speaker B: I hate that.
[00:19:11] Speaker A: For me, it tickles. It's like a spider. Meanwhile, the ones fighting Xeris, of which there is just one, now swings this massive mall down and rolls a two.
Well, that's sad for him. Creedon. His mall gets stuck on a stalactite.
[00:19:31] Speaker B: I think that I am.
There is so much going on right now. I think that I'm going to try to cast suggestion on the mayor and tell him to drop it and get back over here.
[00:19:44] Speaker A: Okay?
[00:19:46] Speaker B: I believe that's wisdom.
[00:19:47] Speaker A: He gets a 14.
[00:19:49] Speaker B: My dc is a 15.
[00:19:53] Speaker A: Okay. He drops it and walks back over to you.
[00:19:56] Speaker D: Nicely done.
[00:19:57] Speaker C: Excellent.
[00:19:58] Speaker B: Grab the chain again and save. I need backup.
[00:20:02] Speaker A: Boulain.
[00:20:03] Speaker C: Shit, do I go back? You've got a Dwarf in your pants.
[00:20:07] Speaker B: I have a dwarf in my pants, a mare trying to run away from me, and a bunch of thieves that I've convinced to do stuff, and a.
[00:20:13] Speaker C: Bunch of thieves trying to split.
Oh, God. She just got close enough to cast bane.
[00:20:21] Speaker D: I mean, I got this.
[00:20:23] Speaker C: You probably got this.
[00:20:24] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:20:24] Speaker C: She will run back to Creedon. Can she make it back to Creedon in time to do something?
[00:20:29] Speaker A: Roll me an analytics chick.
[00:20:33] Speaker C: One.
[00:20:35] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:20:36] Speaker C: No.
[00:20:36] Speaker A: Yeah. You hop over a stalagmite and unfortunately, on the other side of that, there is a sudden drop off causing you to fall a good 3ft, 4ft. You don't sprain your ankle or anything, but you lose a lot of movement.
[00:20:51] Speaker C: Okay. Can I still have my spiritual weapon do damage on the one that's on zero at least?
[00:20:55] Speaker A: Yeah, you can. All right, 15 will miss.
[00:21:00] Speaker C: Damn. Okay.
[00:21:01] Speaker A: It collides with his fairy armor and just is not great.
[00:21:04] Speaker C: Sorry, all this is not Bolane's finest moment.
[00:21:09] Speaker A: The rogues, you see looks of just bewilderment as this bulge is scrambling around your clothes like a.
[00:21:18] Speaker B: Get it out. Get it out.
[00:21:20] Speaker A: One of them grabs your arms and lifts you off the ground and tries to shake you. One of them grabs your shirt and starts flapping at it. Another one.
[00:21:29] Speaker B: Can I ask one of them to keep an eye on the mayor? Can I just try to shove him off on one of them and have them hold it?
[00:21:35] Speaker A: Okay. And then the last guy is holding the mayor's chain, looking really confused, like, why do I have this? I don't understand.
[00:21:42] Speaker B: Thumbs up to that guy.
[00:21:44] Speaker A: But the rogues are going to roll. Sleight of hand.
[00:21:46] Speaker B: Aren't they going to try to steal my shit? No, everybody's stealing my stuff.
[00:21:52] Speaker D: Yeah, they're going to try and steal your dwarf.
[00:21:55] Speaker B: Oh, okay.
[00:21:57] Speaker C: Unless you want to keep that.
[00:22:00] Speaker B: I've always got so used to sleight of hand being like, pat her down, pickpocketer, take this bird that she doesn't have anymore.
[00:22:07] Speaker A: So one of them manages to grab on the outside of your clothes, the lump that's running around, and smack it. And as it falls down, the other one pulls your shirt up and grabs something and comes out with something in his hand that he's not really sure. He can't really see it, but he's holding it. And that's going to bring us to.
[00:22:29] Speaker B: Jirus, this sock that I stuff in my bra.
[00:22:32] Speaker D: All right.
Attacking this other fairy fired fairy dwarf.
[00:22:39] Speaker A: It's the banana you keep in your pants.
[00:22:42] Speaker D: It's a snack for later.
[00:22:45] Speaker A: Right.
[00:22:46] Speaker D: So that's a 19, so 25 that super hits. And then we have twelve slashing and three radiant silver. Four radiant. Excuse me, for 18 total.
[00:23:00] Speaker A: He's still standing. Does not look in good shape that's going to bring us to the dwarves. This dwarf looks at you and goes, this isn't worth it. And in a poof of mist disappears.
[00:23:12] Speaker D: Fairy fire.
[00:23:13] Speaker A: You can roll me an arcana check if you'd like.
[00:23:16] Speaker D: Sure. So the fairy fire does not keep him revealed.
[00:23:20] Speaker A: The fairy fire would if this was invisibility.
[00:23:22] Speaker D: Right? Yeah, no, I know. Right. So probably a more misty step or something.
[00:23:26] Speaker A: You can roll arcana, though, if you would like to.
[00:23:29] Speaker D: 15 on the arcana.
[00:23:31] Speaker A: Wow. Okay. Yeah. So you remember like frikers did this. This is a misty step. He has used some sort of fairy teleportation. You know, he can't be very far. He has to be within 30 or 40ft, which means he's probably just 30 or 40ft down the hallway.
[00:23:45] Speaker D: Sure. Can I quickly swivel my head to see which direction or is it just probably away?
[00:23:50] Speaker B: I think he might be out of the range of fairy fire. Does it keep them lit up?
[00:23:53] Speaker A: I mean, it would as long as you concentrate. Yeah. So I need a perception roll from you to see if you can. He is hiding.
[00:24:01] Speaker D: That is 1515.
[00:24:03] Speaker A: Okay. So, yeah, you don't immediately see a glowing creature in either direction. Okay. So on your turn you can certainly guess and move and you might run into him. That's going to bring us to.
No, there is a dwarf in the hand of one of these rogues and he says you're never getting the gold and he's going to try to cast a spell even though he is in the clutches of a mole man.
Oh, he will roll really bad.
[00:24:31] Speaker C: Good.
[00:24:32] Speaker A: So he's like, could you stop maybe?
And that's his turn. Which brings us to Creedon.
He becomes visible when he attempts the spell and fails. So in the mole man's hand is a garden gnome.
[00:24:51] Speaker B: Well, I forgot to reassign my hex after the last guy died, so I think hex is gone. But can I ready in action to shoot the gnome and just tell the guy that's holding him, chuck him.
[00:25:05] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:25:05] Speaker B: Toss him up or something.
Pull so that I can shoot this dwarf without hitting his hand.
[00:25:13] Speaker A: Boulain, you're up.
[00:25:15] Speaker C: All right. Boulain will close the distance with this rogue holding the fairy dwarf and she will touch him because we can see him, you said, right?
[00:25:26] Speaker A: Yes, he is visible.
[00:25:27] Speaker C: She will touch him and cast word of radiance, which is a concave for him.
[00:25:31] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:25:32] Speaker B: Does that make him shiny?
[00:25:33] Speaker A: He has advantage on con saves, which brings him to only a 15.
[00:25:39] Speaker C: My DC is a 14.
[00:25:41] Speaker A: Okay. He will make the saving throw back.
[00:25:43] Speaker C: Okay. And then the other one moved. We didn't see where he moved, right?
[00:25:48] Speaker A: Correct.
[00:25:49] Speaker C: Okay, so I can't move the spiritual weapon to him because I don't know where he is. All right, I guess that's my turn.
[00:25:55] Speaker A: All right, rogues. Okay, so one of them spikes him like a volleyball.
[00:26:01] Speaker B: I mean, I was just thinking, like, toss him up and try to catch him again, but. Okay.
[00:26:06] Speaker A: Yeah, he's been feeling a little hurt.
[00:26:08] Speaker B: Let's say, rocket him to the ground.
[00:26:11] Speaker A: So he spikes him like a volleyball. And this guy, this little dwarf actually does an impressive handstand backflip and starts running. Boulain, you may shoot at him. I can shoot at him, not Boulain. I'm sorry, Creedon.
[00:26:22] Speaker B: You may shoot at him. I was about to say, like, hey, I'm supposed to be the one shooting at him. That's a 13.
[00:26:27] Speaker A: A 13 will miss as he deftly dances out of the way. Two of the rogues open fire.
[00:26:34] Speaker B: Pew, pew.
[00:26:34] Speaker A: God, so good at shooting.
Ow, ow, ow. So good at shooting.
[00:26:43] Speaker B: This is the first time they've done anything, so. That's nice.
[00:26:46] Speaker A: No, they shot the dwarves that Zerus.
[00:26:49] Speaker B: Is now fighting, okay.
[00:26:51] Speaker A: For ten damage each and now they just shot this guy for 26.
[00:26:54] Speaker C: Oh, my God.
[00:26:56] Speaker A: Yeah, I'm realizing something. Add another four there. Nice silver crossbow bolts didn't really make a difference on those other dwarves because they died from much larger hits later on. But, yeah, that's the rogue's turn.
[00:27:13] Speaker D: Zerus, I stalk forward.
[00:27:16] Speaker A: Okay, you walk a little deeper into this space. Go ahead and give me an athletics check.
[00:27:23] Speaker D: I would love to give you an athletics check. 23.
[00:27:27] Speaker A: Okay, you scramble up a lip, and his check automatically will fail when you pass the thing he's hiding behind. You get there within 30ft and you may smack him.
[00:27:38] Speaker D: I will.
Okay, that's a crit.
[00:27:41] Speaker A: Great.
[00:27:42] Speaker D: We have nine slash.
[00:27:44] Speaker B: Yeah, get him.
[00:27:46] Speaker D: 1216, silvered slashing. And nine, radiant.
[00:27:51] Speaker A: Okay, you hack him down. Okay.
[00:27:54] Speaker D: I use whatever movement I have left which I assume is none to start.
[00:27:58] Speaker A: Basing back which is going to bring us to the last remaining dwarf.
[00:28:02] Speaker D: When he dies, how big does he become?
[00:28:05] Speaker A: He shrinks down, but he actually ends up being about 4ft tall.
[00:28:09] Speaker D: Okay, I'll drag him.
[00:28:11] Speaker A: Okay, yeah, you drag him. He is covered in gold necklaces. He's wearing an amount of gold around his neck that is truly ostentatious in a way that will not be seen even in rap videos of the future.
[00:28:27] Speaker C: It's like he's armored in gold.
[00:28:29] Speaker A: He's armored in gold. Which brings us to the last dwarf. He is going to cast a spell and poof in mist somewhere, which will bring us to Creedon.
[00:28:47] Speaker B: Are you able to cast another fairy fire later?
[00:28:50] Speaker C: I can't. I can only do that once per long. Rest.
[00:28:53] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:28:55] Speaker A: I think that you could roll Arcana if you would like to confirm what his action was.
[00:29:00] Speaker B: I'm pretty sure that it's a misty step. I mean, I can do that.
[00:29:06] Speaker A: But.
[00:29:06] Speaker C: You just have to go the right direction.
[00:29:09] Speaker B: Yeah, but I don't think Arcada rolls told me that. Fuck that little guy.
[00:29:13] Speaker D: Any pleb can do that.
[00:29:15] Speaker B: Well, I don't know. I'm going to try to throw my flower bomb in the direction that he went.
[00:29:19] Speaker A: Okay, you throw your flower bomb in the direction he was looking. Go ahead and roll me d 29.
[00:29:26] Speaker B: Okay, I'm assuming I don't add anything.
[00:29:27] Speaker A: There's a poof of flower in the tunnel towards Ziris, but it doesn't seem to reveal anything. Which is going to bring us to Boulain.
[00:29:36] Speaker C: Would detect magic reveal a fairy creature?
[00:29:39] Speaker A: No, but it would reveal any spells he had on him.
[00:29:42] Speaker C: All right, that's what she's going to do. She's going to cast detect magic.
[00:29:45] Speaker A: What's the range on detect magic?
[00:29:47] Speaker C: 30Ft.
[00:29:48] Speaker A: Okay, you cast it. You know, the glave on the floor is glowingly magical.
[00:29:54] Speaker C: We figured that.
[00:29:55] Speaker A: Super powerful, but that's all you can find.
[00:29:57] Speaker D: Come towards me.
[00:30:00] Speaker C: Yeah. All right. Can she move towards him?
[00:30:02] Speaker A: Yeah, go ahead and roll me in a flex. Roll.
[00:30:05] Speaker C: I mean, this is a concentration for ten minutes.
[00:30:08] Speaker D: So fairy fire drops, too, then, right?
[00:30:10] Speaker C: Yeah, the fairy fire would drop.
[00:30:12] Speaker A: Everything that was fairy fired is dead.
[00:30:15] Speaker C: I'm sorry, was that. Athletics?
[00:30:16] Speaker A: Athletics, please.
[00:30:17] Speaker C: 16 minus one is 15 okay?
[00:30:19] Speaker A: Yeah, that's pretty good. So you start moving down towards Xeris. There is a stalagtite off to your right. That's sizable. Nearly reaches the floor. And there is a source of magic behind it.
[00:30:33] Speaker C: Vulain will gesture to Zuris. She will point to the stalactite.
[00:30:38] Speaker A: Astute listeners will point out that tech magic, usually presence or absence of magic. But he rolled an eight on his stealth roll, so I'm just giving it to you. That's going to bring us to the rogues.
So they don't know where this guy is. So basically, they all pull out a flower pouch and just explode flour in every direction in this room.
This room is very flowery, Creedon. There's a white powder just all over you.
[00:31:08] Speaker B: Don't make any sparks.
[00:31:10] Speaker D: Xeris, how far away is the stalactite she pointed at.
[00:31:15] Speaker A: Let's see, you ran another 30ft from 80. He is down the hallway, so you are 50ft away from this thing.
[00:31:25] Speaker D: Great. I'll move my 30ft up if I can. I will bring in tow a dwarf with me.
[00:31:32] Speaker A: Go ahead and roll me athletics.
[00:31:34] Speaker B: You'll bring a dwarf with you?
[00:31:36] Speaker A: He's carrying the corpse.
[00:31:37] Speaker C: He's dragging the corpse.
[00:31:39] Speaker A: Oh, I'm sorry. How did you do?
[00:31:40] Speaker D: Xeris, not 20. So that's 25.
[00:31:43] Speaker A: Yeah, you make great time. You're nearly there. Okay.
[00:31:46] Speaker D: And then I will throw dwarf corpse powder.
[00:31:51] Speaker A: I'll throw the dwarf corpse at you. Throw it. A plume just rises up from behind that stalactite and there is a dwarf shaped hole in the flower mist that he doesn't seem to be able to avoid.
[00:32:05] Speaker D: Great.
[00:32:05] Speaker A: Which brings us to his turn. Okay, jig is up. Choices be limited. Boulain, this dwarf swells to 7ft tall, steps around this stalactite.
[00:32:20] Speaker C: I don't like the sound of this.
[00:32:23] Speaker A: And charges you. This is the boss dwarf. He has a little bit better stats and other choices, but. Oh, God. Twelve is probably not going to hit your ac.
[00:32:34] Speaker C: No.
[00:32:35] Speaker A: Okay, so a war pick with a spiked hammer on the back of it collides with your armor. You somehow don't die.
[00:32:46] Speaker B: Creedon, can I see this dwarf?
[00:32:49] Speaker A: Yeah, he's very visible now.
[00:32:51] Speaker C: Okay.
[00:32:51] Speaker B: I want to try to Eldritch blast at him. Could I Eldritch blast him? And then also try to kick the glave with my boot as far away as I can from mayor.
[00:33:01] Speaker A: He's going to follow your suggestion, so you don't need to worry about it. Okay, sure.
[00:33:05] Speaker B: I don't know. I don't trust the mayor or. I don't want anybody else to pick it up either, because you can guard.
[00:33:13] Speaker A: The glave in some capacity. It's fine. Go ahead and shoot.
[00:33:16] Speaker B: Okay. Yeah, I want to try it. Eldridge, blast, then. And also attempt to guard the glave. That is a 24 to hit. I got a 19. I almost crit.
[00:33:26] Speaker A: That definitely hits.
[00:33:27] Speaker B: And that will be six force damage. Not my best. Well, every little, but he's weak to it.
[00:33:34] Speaker A: Better than a poke in the eye.
[00:33:35] Speaker B: It's the power of love, Boulain.
[00:33:37] Speaker C: This one's been hit. He's taken damage. Right?
[00:33:41] Speaker A: He's been shot repeatedly.
[00:33:42] Speaker C: Okay. She's going to cast toll the dead on him, and then she's also going to move her spiritual weapon to him and hit him with that.
[00:33:50] Speaker A: He will fail the saving throw foretold the dead.
[00:33:53] Speaker C: Excellent.
That is four necrotic damage. And then the spiritual weapon shall try to hit him with that.
14 plus five is 19.
[00:34:06] Speaker A: That'll hit.
[00:34:08] Speaker C: Seven plus five is twelve force damage.
[00:34:11] Speaker A: Okay. He is badly, badly injured. The rogues shoot at him. Three hits.
[00:34:18] Speaker C: Yay.
[00:34:19] Speaker A: He is hit with three crossbow bolts and goes down and shrinks to a four foot sized creature, armored and gold. He also has a shocking amount of gold on him. Yeah.
[00:34:32] Speaker C: Good, because if we can't find the gold stash I want to be able to pay these rogues with something.
[00:34:37] Speaker A: The gold stash appears to be worn by the three dwarves.
[00:34:40] Speaker C: Okay.
[00:34:41] Speaker B: Pretty good storage.
[00:34:42] Speaker C: Yeah. Heavy, heavy storage, though.
[00:34:46] Speaker A: Well, they had the ability to shrink it and themselves.
[00:34:48] Speaker C: That's true.
[00:34:49] Speaker A: As well as turn it invisible and.
[00:34:51] Speaker C: Grow it and grow two massive sizes. Okay.
[00:34:55] Speaker A: Yeah.
Gather round again, apprentices and listen to one of my stories. For it's a rare thing when a man as old as I tells tales. True.
The three undeniable gods the sun, the moon and the earth. Known today as the radiant one, the luminous one and the green man. Gathered one day at the peak of a mountain. The radiant one was heard to boast that his people, the mortals would soon surpass both dragon and fairy kind. The green man, who barely notices such trivial things as boasting even from his own son said nothing certain that no mortal would surpass his dragons. The luminous one, a creature who does not boast, said simply she felt the radiant one was mistaken. In this moment, a troublemaker chanced upon the gods. The mask. A God or goddess none would ever be sure proposed a challenge.
None had reached the top of this very mountain. No mortal, no dragon, no fay the first to reach it without the power of a God would be deemed the greatest of the three. The green man cares not for contests or boasts. But it did wish to know the answer to the question. And so the father of all gods accepted this challenge. And when this father speaks, all children listen or perish.
Word crossed the land and at the base of the tallest mountain came a mortal a fay and a dragon. The dragon took to the air and flew for the top, sure to be the first to win. But as it rose, the cold of the mountain grew in the fire, froze in the dragon's belly. Dragons have magic of their own. It would not reach the top. But in future eons, its children would. And so it placed eggs in ice wove magic into the nest. When the young dragon would hatch, it would be white as snow and free to climb to the top. The fay was both fickle and eternal, and for every step upon the mountain toward the top it took, it would wait a year, becoming one with the blizzard, snow and the wind that howled while it waited in luxury and held court with whatever creatures came by. Contend with a few centuries of time for this challenge. The mortal, however, was not eternal and had no magic not granted to it by the gods. If the mortal was to succeed, it must hurry. It went to pass the fay and asked the fickle creature for a boon, that that mortal might stand a chance against the cold. The fay laughed and whispered a price into the ear of the mortal for a bottle of fine wine made by the mortal itself. The fairy would grant him a magic fur to keep him warm. The mortal knew it would not reach the top without such an item, and so it turned home and began a vineyard. With each cask of wine, the mortal returned to the fay and offered it. But the fay was a harsh judge of wine, and it took many years to make one truly fine. The mortal, now aided by its children, took the magic cloak and continued up the mountain until it reached the dragon. The mortal asked the dragon for a boon, such that he could reach the very top of the mountain, for the mortal had no claws to climb and no wings to fly. The dragon laughed and roared out his price. He would teach the man the secrets of metal to forge his own claws if his children were to agree to watch his egg for the decades it would take to hatch.
The children of the mortal agreed. And so the dragon whispered the ancient secrets of the earth and fire to the man. Secrets, however, are not skills. And so the man returned home and began the work of finding and creating with metal.
It was many years before his skills could make the tools needed to climb. The man returned to the egg and gathered his grandchildren to aid him. He taught his kin to use the tools he had made, for at this age, climbing was beyond him. His oldest grandchild took from him the tools and the cloak of warmth and began to climb. For she had grown up in the mountains, watching the egg of the dragon, and was accustomed to climbing in the cold. The mortal came near the peak and was about to claim the prize when she fell far below.
Taking pity, the luminous one granted the falling mortal magic to land softly in the snow. And so the first human learned magic. The whispering shepherd, who comes to give all new creatures their breath, and the silent judge who gathers all departed souls, came to the valley where the first mortal lay at the end of his life, before the egg of the dragon. Near to hatching their children and children's children, and the fay, who at last came this way. All gathered together, the two gods gazed at this contest in sadness for their work of life and death was being squandered by the will of their parent gods made reckless by a petulant divine childlike. The mask.
The whispering shepherd spoke in soft tones and declared the contest over. Declared the result a draw.
None who wish for worship can deny the shepherd's will for life begins with the sweat of his brow.
To this day, the green man and the luminous one gloat over the radiant one, blocking his sun's rays from time to time to keep the boastful God humble for not winning to the radiant one was as good as a loss.
Let it be known that a braggart pays the highest prices for loss.
That is it, apprentice.
Back to work.
That's it. There is nothing else to fight in here. The mayor behaves himself for the duration of suggestion.
[00:41:00] Speaker C: How long does suggestion last, Creedon?
[00:41:02] Speaker A: That is 8 hours.
[00:41:05] Speaker B: Up to 8 hours. And I don't think I've been hit by anything that would break my concentrations.
[00:41:10] Speaker C: Yeah, you did that after.
[00:41:11] Speaker B: Although all I told him to do was to drop it and get over here. I didn't actually say anything like calm down or anything. I was mad. I just yelled some commands. I didn't think about the longevity of.
[00:41:21] Speaker C: It's okay. It was effective in the moment. Okay, so I guess we're going back to the room. The flower covered room.
And we're dragging these corpses with us.
[00:41:31] Speaker D: Yep. I'll drag the two.
[00:41:33] Speaker C: Elaine says, well, that could have gone worse. Could have gone better.
[00:41:39] Speaker D: Seemed alright to me.
[00:41:40] Speaker B: Hey, Zerus, can you guard the mare?
[00:41:42] Speaker D: How about I guard this? I'll stow my axe and grab the.
[00:41:49] Speaker C: Cursed.
[00:41:50] Speaker B: It's cursed. Put it in your bedroll.
[00:41:53] Speaker A: You have a beautiful glave. It is gorgeous. You know immediately it's magical. Cool.
[00:42:00] Speaker B: Maybe it isn't cursed.
[00:42:02] Speaker C: Zulane says, zerus, we know that Glave is probably cursed.
[00:42:06] Speaker B: Can you put it down?
[00:42:09] Speaker D: I set down the glave.
[00:42:10] Speaker A: You set it down.
[00:42:11] Speaker B: All right, we're good.
[00:42:12] Speaker D: I pick up the glave, you have a glave.
[00:42:15] Speaker C: Maybe. Just do not touch it with your bare hands.
[00:42:20] Speaker A: It's a glave.
[00:42:21] Speaker D: I'll stow it on my back and hold my axe in hand.
[00:42:25] Speaker C: Boulain will take the gold off of the dwarves and start divvying it half to them and half to us.
[00:42:32] Speaker A: Okay. It is covered in stamps of Sternheim. They were basically gold plates that had been beaten out into. Not bars, but very flat, almost bars. And the dwarves seem to have crafted them into necklaces.
[00:42:47] Speaker D: I'm sorry. Wait. Of Sternheim.
[00:42:49] Speaker A: They are stamped with the word sternheim on them. Yes.
[00:42:53] Speaker D: In the story, is that where the gold came from?
[00:42:56] Speaker A: No. In the story, the gold was in transit from Turtle Bay to Astragar, and it disappeared in Sternheim.
[00:43:07] Speaker C: Interesting.
[00:43:08] Speaker B: Well, so how much gold?
[00:43:10] Speaker C: I cannot think who to ask for clarification on why this is stamped with Sternheim. But we made this arrangement with Ray Jordan and Lisa, and we need to honor it. We could take our half back to Sternheim.
[00:43:24] Speaker D: Taking our half back is fine, but I look at the mayor. Why is this stamped with Sternheim?
[00:43:29] Speaker A: The mayor, I guess, is going to roll a history check.
[00:43:33] Speaker B: Why'd you do it, mayor?
[00:43:34] Speaker A: He looks at you and says, I have no idea.
[00:43:37] Speaker D: All right. Can I make a history check to know?
[00:43:39] Speaker A: Yeah, sure.
[00:43:42] Speaker D: How's a 13?
[00:43:43] Speaker A: A 13.
So you vaguely remember this story, and there was a crate of gold, and it was stolen by a dragon, and some heroes came and slew the goat. Slew the dragon with a 13. You do vaguely remember there was some dispute about the gold, which was the reason it was in town for longer than expected. But you don't know what it was.
[00:44:06] Speaker C: Can I take a crack of this?
[00:44:08] Speaker D: All right, sure.
[00:44:08] Speaker C: History natural 20.
[00:44:12] Speaker A: So you were there for this?
So, yeah, you remember there was a shipment of gold. It was coming around, and you happened to be doing a traveling job, just a temporary one, in Sternheim. Some wealthy person had died, and they put a call out, and you happened to be the closest mortician to give a full service. You remember when you arrived, this wagon was. It was a whole wagon load of gold. And Sternheim decided, and they had a military and were much larger than the caravan that was transporting this gold, that they were going to keep it.
And so they began the process of essentially claiming it, stamping it with their name, and shoving it away. And you know that the caravan guards essentially pulled off a heist where they got the gold back and went to flee town. But unfortunately, there was a dragon that had apparently got wind of this and took it.
[00:45:10] Speaker C: Boulain will explain as much. She says the dragon took the gold after there was a dispute over it, and Sternheim tried to claim it as their own. But it was tax money for Astragar, right?
[00:45:23] Speaker A: Yes. And you expect Sternheim would have burnt if it did not actually get taken out of Sternheim at that moment.
[00:45:29] Speaker C: So it is actually something of a mixed blessing that the dragon came because Sternheim would have suffered for such a deed.
[00:45:37] Speaker A: So, to be clear, that dragon was coming for the gold. The gold left town, and so Sternheim did not burn right in the breath of a dragon.
[00:45:47] Speaker C: I got you. The heist got the gold out of Sternheim and the dragon.
[00:45:51] Speaker A: You're pretty sure paladins would have come down and taken the gold by force, right? At best, it was a temporary attempt to draw attention to Sternheim not getting enough tax money.
[00:46:01] Speaker C: Needless to say, as is often the case, this gold was fraught, and I suppose has been here ever since.
[00:46:08] Speaker B: Sounds like it's been long enough that we could lay claim to it.
[00:46:12] Speaker C: We can lay claim to half of it.
[00:46:14] Speaker B: Well, yeah, all right.
[00:46:16] Speaker C: That she readily hands over half of it to the rogues and says, well, they will not be taking any more slaves, and you should be able to continue your work unmolested.
[00:46:27] Speaker A: Great. If there's a way out, we're going to go see if we can't find someone to cure these horrendous curses.
[00:46:34] Speaker C: Do you not want to go back to Fenrir and tell them you have a way out?
[00:46:37] Speaker A: Yeah, I mean, one thing at a time.
[00:46:41] Speaker B: Cure your curse to go back in and get a new one.
[00:46:44] Speaker C: She looks at Xeris and Creed and says, well, this is another matter, because the way is only open because of that statue, right? The one with the sword and the shield. Yeah. Are we going to just leave the way open?
[00:46:57] Speaker D: That sounds like a bad idea.
[00:46:59] Speaker B: Yeah, I don't know about that, but perhaps we shouldn't tell them our intention and just let them go.
[00:47:07] Speaker C: She looks at the three of them, and she says, you will have a time out in the world beyond the thorns, looking like that.
[00:47:15] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:47:16] Speaker C: You are not likely to be received kindly. We have been dealing with creatures coming out of the thorns for a long time, and they are always hostile. If people mistake you as thorns, creatures, they are going to attack you and kill you.
[00:47:29] Speaker A: Yeah, okay, that's a problem. That's a problem. So how about we travel with you? What do you say?
[00:47:36] Speaker D: Here, wear this. I hand a large cloak to them.
[00:47:40] Speaker A: Yeah, you know, this is going to work.
[00:47:42] Speaker B: Three fuzzies in a trench coat.
[00:47:44] Speaker A: We're just going to head down to Turtle Bay. There's still turtle Bay, right?
[00:47:48] Speaker C: There is still a turtle bay, and there is likely someone there who can remove a curse. Is that true? I don't know if that's true or not, actually.
[00:47:56] Speaker A: I mean, very likely. Okay.
[00:47:58] Speaker C: I could send you with a letter if you report to Admiral Lenari. He will take a word from me. Well, and he would probably help you.
[00:48:07] Speaker A: Okay, sounds great.
[00:48:09] Speaker C: All right. Will you tell us about Fenrir?
[00:48:12] Speaker A: Yeah, what do you want to know?
[00:48:13] Speaker B: Oh, before we dive into this, can I have like 1 minute to grab something to drink?
[00:48:18] Speaker A: I'm very thirsty.
[00:48:18] Speaker B: But I want to hear all the floor.
Exposition.
[00:48:22] Speaker C: Dump exposition here. I'm so glad they're not dead.
[00:48:28] Speaker D: They seem fine ish.
[00:48:30] Speaker C: Yeah, we're just not going to let zeros know what they do for a living.
I mean, they dig.
Really.
[00:48:39] Speaker A: They're not even so bad.
[00:48:40] Speaker C: They're not even so bad in terms of the rogue cannon.
[00:48:45] Speaker D: They seem like fine people. I don't understand your problem.
[00:48:48] Speaker C: They're good shots. They didn't run when Creedon shamed them into not running.
[00:48:56] Speaker A: Yeah, they're good people.
[00:48:58] Speaker C: Right, Nate? Right.
[00:49:00] Speaker D: Such good people.
[00:49:02] Speaker A: Relatively.
[00:49:04] Speaker C: They're not bad people.
[00:49:06] Speaker A: No.
[00:49:07] Speaker C: We have to understand about rogues is that they just unwittingly serve the mask, whether they know they're serving the mask or not. So have to think about it in that light.
[00:49:16] Speaker D: Yeah, sure. I'll think about it that way.
[00:49:21] Speaker C: All right. Claire is back. Exposition us.
[00:49:24] Speaker A: Okay, so Fenrir is doing pretty good. I mean, there's like 3000 people still alive in there ish.
[00:49:30] Speaker C: 3000?
[00:49:31] Speaker A: Yeah. The noble houses still keep a control.
It's pretty chill. Everybody's got fairy curses. And the thorns are a real problem because they keep growing in. And so if you touch them, you get turned into animals.
[00:49:46] Speaker C: Is that where the mishaps with you?
[00:49:50] Speaker A: Yeah. No, I mean, you touch the thorns and this is what happens.
Those of you who are not from inside Fenrir know that when you touch the thorns, you do not turn into animals.
[00:50:02] Speaker C: You go crazy.
[00:50:03] Speaker A: You go crazy, but you do not.
[00:50:05] Speaker C: Turn into animals on the outside of the thorns. It is a problem of insanity.
[00:50:10] Speaker A: It's probably better.
[00:50:11] Speaker B: I'll take that for comparison. What's the population of Astragar compared to?
[00:50:18] Speaker A: Oh, Astragar is 60,000.
[00:50:20] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:50:21] Speaker C: It's huge. Yeah.
[00:50:22] Speaker A: Astragar is a metropolis.
[00:50:24] Speaker B: Okay, so 3000 is like a lot of people, but not like a normal whole city's worth or anything.
[00:50:30] Speaker C: What was the population of Fenrir before the thorns went up? Was it comparable to Astragar or was it smaller?
[00:50:35] Speaker A: No, it was a smaller kingdom. So probably 30,000. Okay, it was still a capital city, right?
[00:50:42] Speaker B: Still a 10th of the town. The city's old population. That's crazy.
[00:50:47] Speaker C: Boulain says. Well, is the Fenrir family still ruling? Who is the king?
[00:50:52] Speaker A: Oh, no, there's no king, actually. There's a regent. The mentor family's still up and running.
[00:50:58] Speaker C: Yes, I remember the mentors. There was an apothecary who lived there. Thalia. I used to frequent her shop when I was.
[00:51:07] Speaker A: Yeah, no, Thalia's still there. She's cool. She's a gnome. They live forever.
[00:51:11] Speaker C: Well, not forever, but I am heartened to hear that she is still around. Well, what will you do with your tunnel? Will you smuggle everyone?
[00:51:21] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:51:21] Speaker A: Yeah, that's the plan. Although, first we need to fix up these digger claws and know.
[00:51:29] Speaker C: Fix up these.
[00:51:31] Speaker A: Not. They're, like, a little. I got to fix the grill.
[00:51:35] Speaker C: All right, well, I can certainly send you to Turtle Bay with a letter, but you should be careful engaging civilization before you're.
[00:51:45] Speaker A: No, no, we got this. We got this. There is a slight rumbling, and some dust falls from the ceiling in a few.
[00:51:53] Speaker C: Oh, no.
[00:51:55] Speaker A: And Ray Jordan and Lisa are like, okay, time to go.
[00:51:59] Speaker C: Agreed.
[00:52:00] Speaker D: All right, let's go.
[00:52:01] Speaker C: We grab Val.
[00:52:03] Speaker B: I also grab his armor and hold it up to.
[00:52:06] Speaker A: Val was captured in his armor, I believe.
[00:52:09] Speaker B: Okay.
I thought that they might have removed it.
[00:52:12] Speaker A: Nope. They just took his weapons away.
[00:52:14] Speaker B: Okay, that's fine, then. Easy transport.
[00:52:17] Speaker A: So he doesn't have arms to get back up the rope.
[00:52:20] Speaker B: Well, we can tie the end of the rope to him.
[00:52:22] Speaker D: I'll pull him up.
[00:52:23] Speaker A: Okay, sure. So you get to the bottom of the thing. Who's going up first?
[00:52:28] Speaker D: I will.
[00:52:29] Speaker A: Okay, Xeris, you grab the rope, climb up, poke your head out of the top. There is a dragon skeleton prowling in circles.
[00:52:37] Speaker B: You got to be fucking kidding me.
[00:52:39] Speaker C: Oh, no.
[00:52:40] Speaker A: Just looking pissed off. If a skull can look pissed off.
[00:52:45] Speaker B: Oh, the glass vial that they.
[00:52:47] Speaker C: The vial that they broke was the spirit of the dragon.
[00:52:50] Speaker B: Oh, God, I forgot about it.
[00:52:52] Speaker A: And it's picking up pieces of masonry. This dragon is huge, by the way, so even if it's skeletal hands, it can pick up chunks of masonry larger than you and just look under them. It's digging.
[00:53:06] Speaker B: I am not prepared to fight a dragon.
[00:53:07] Speaker C: I am not prepared to fight a dragon.
[00:53:10] Speaker D: All right.
[00:53:14] Speaker B: I at least need a short rest.
[00:53:16] Speaker C: I need a long rest. I am out of spells.
[00:53:19] Speaker D: I'll pop back down.
[00:53:22] Speaker A: What is it?
[00:53:25] Speaker D: The skeleton woke up.
[00:53:27] Speaker C: Oh, fuck.
[00:53:29] Speaker D: Yeah.
Which creates an interesting conundrum.
[00:53:35] Speaker C: It sure does.
[00:53:37] Speaker D: Here's my thought. I'll distract it.
[00:53:40] Speaker C: And we just run out.
[00:53:41] Speaker D: Yes.
[00:53:45] Speaker C: She looks at Ray Jordan and Lisa and says, if you do not come back, is someone going to come looking for you?
[00:53:50] Speaker A: They kind of look at you and go, well, actually, circumstances being what they are, probably not right away.
[00:53:56] Speaker C: Because if you disappear and we escape and that dragon is prowling around and someone comes to look for you, they are going to run into the dragon.
[00:54:03] Speaker A: Yeah, that's pretty bad.
[00:54:05] Speaker D: Okay, new plan.
What about you dig a hole into that tunnel over there.
[00:54:12] Speaker B: Damn, that's smart.
[00:54:14] Speaker C: I think that might be the best. Yes. Let us just dig past the dragon.
[00:54:19] Speaker A: Okay. While you're having this conversation, you hear, like, a crunching noise. So this tunnel you're in is, like, part natural. There's masonry in places. It looks like at some point, a dragon picked up a castle, put some gold under it, and then dropped it.
The castle now does not come up in one piece. As the dragon goes to pick up the castle, it is in rubble. Hunks of masonry kind of, like, spill into the tunnels. And this chimney that you were using to get up and out, tears out of the ground, essentially removing the ceiling.
What would you like to do?
[00:54:59] Speaker C: Run?
[00:55:01] Speaker D: I would like to get deeper into the hole, please. Yes.
[00:55:05] Speaker A: Okay. You have two choices. Left and right. Right is a trapped tunnel full of rogues things, and left is unknown.
[00:55:12] Speaker C: But they know the traps in their own tunnel, right, sure.
[00:55:16] Speaker D: But the key to solving any kind of dragon problems is going to be on the dwarf side, if it exists.
[00:55:25] Speaker B: Let's do dwarf side.
[00:55:27] Speaker C: Dwarf side it is.
[00:55:28] Speaker A: The mayor is looking just confused. Like, as you're pulling him along, he's like, let me go. There's a dragon. Let me go.
You get to the dwarf side. So you run into what used to be essentially the basement of part of this keep. The ceiling of this basement has been torn off, and this is now exposed to the air. And you just see, like, a dragon's foot skeletally slammed down into the middle of this thing. As you can sort of see masonry falling. What would you like to do?
[00:56:01] Speaker D: I kind of want to attack the dragonfoot, but.
[00:56:07] Speaker C: I am not going to be much help for you in a dragon fight.
[00:56:11] Speaker D: They don't want that.
[00:56:12] Speaker C: I am tapped out deeper in.
[00:56:16] Speaker A: So, as you are debating momentarily, the mayor is like, come on, let me go. Give me the glave. Come on. I could take it.
[00:56:22] Speaker B: Don't like that.
[00:56:24] Speaker D: Especially if it's true.
[00:56:27] Speaker B: Yeah, if it's true.
[00:56:30] Speaker C: If he can take the dragon, then we have to take the mayor with the glave, right?
[00:56:36] Speaker B: Never.
[00:56:37] Speaker C: Bad idea.
[00:56:38] Speaker A: The mayor continues to struggle on his chain binds, but cannot get out of them.
[00:56:43] Speaker C: So I guess we run into the Rogues tunnel and hope they navigate us past the traps.
[00:56:48] Speaker D: Oh, did we get cut off from going down the other side?
[00:56:52] Speaker A: I mean, there's a foot there.
[00:56:54] Speaker D: Okay.
[00:56:55] Speaker A: You could sure jump over it and run around his foot. No, it's a skeletal foot.
[00:57:03] Speaker D: A lot of space in there for me.
[00:57:07] Speaker A: No.
[00:57:07] Speaker D: All right, we'll go the other way. We'll go down the rogues tunnel.
[00:57:11] Speaker A: All right, you start getting down the rogues.
[00:57:13] Speaker C: We will let the rogues lead us because they know the way past the track.
[00:57:16] Speaker A: Yes, indeed. They turn and actually stop and sort of. They all look at each other and they kind of go like, okay, this is our chance to get out of here. What are the ods of us running up that dragon's leg?
[00:57:30] Speaker C: Okay. I think Boulain says, okay, what you need to remember is when you run up the dragon's leg, there is a dragon on the other end attached to that leg and it will attack you.
[00:57:41] Speaker B: Bella, I'll guidance you if you guidance me.
[00:57:44] Speaker A: They kind of look at you and they're like, only marginally worse than going back this way.
[00:57:51] Speaker C: Really? That bad? You cannot avoid your own traps.
[00:57:55] Speaker A: Oh, no, that's not the problem. That's not the problem. The problem is being fucking stuck in there.
[00:58:00] Speaker C: Okay. But that will be no change from what you have lived your whole lives.
[00:58:06] Speaker A: Yeah, exactly.
[00:58:07] Speaker C: Okay. Perspective. If you go back to Fenrir, can you get help to come and defeat the dragon?
[00:58:14] Speaker A: From who?
[00:58:16] Speaker C: You said there are 3000 people there.
[00:58:18] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:58:21] Speaker C: Are the porninos still around? The Paladins?
[00:58:24] Speaker A: Yes. They're not getting horses down here.
[00:58:27] Speaker C: We don't need horses. We just need people.
[00:58:29] Speaker A: The ground shakes again, ridiculously, and suddenly stops.
[00:58:38] Speaker C: We all go very still and quiet.
[00:58:40] Speaker D: Is there a foot still in my way?
[00:58:42] Speaker A: You look back around? No, there's a lot more rubble on the ground, but the foot is not there.
[00:58:48] Speaker C: Why am I more worried that the foot is not there?
Because there's a head coming down next.
[00:58:55] Speaker D: Actually, let it. That's the best option for us. Let's just fight ahead of a dragon.
[00:59:00] Speaker C: Yeah, that's true. That's true. Smash the skull. Boulain just looks at them and says, if you go back to Fenrir and find help, there is a better chance of surviving than if you try to run up and face that thing.
[00:59:11] Speaker A: Now go ahead and roll me a persuasion check.
[00:59:13] Speaker C: Okay.
Advantage. Because it only makes sense.
[00:59:17] Speaker A: No, that's a 13.
[00:59:19] Speaker C: Plus four is a 17.
[00:59:23] Speaker A: They look at you and they basically say it's going to take us a day and a half to go back that way. When we get there, if anybody sees you, I cannot promise anything was going to happen. That is going to be good.
[00:59:35] Speaker C: Do they have to see us? Can you just go for help?
[00:59:39] Speaker A: I don't think we're going to get any.
[00:59:41] Speaker C: Why?
[00:59:42] Speaker A: What do you mean why?
[00:59:43] Speaker C: You have a tunnel to get your people out. All it means is killing a dragon. You do not think anybody will come and help you?
[00:59:51] Speaker A: We are not important.
[00:59:54] Speaker C: Do you know anyone important?
[00:59:56] Speaker A: No.
[00:59:57] Speaker C: Going to insight on that. I don't think it's true.
That's a twelve.
[01:00:03] Speaker A: I mean, you have this distinct opinion that they do not think there is help back in town.
[01:00:07] Speaker C: Okay. She looks at Xeris and Creedon and says, well, what do you think?
[01:00:14] Speaker B: We got to get out of here. It's going to be hard to run with the mare, though. But I don't know. Xeris is strong.
[01:00:19] Speaker C: Could maybe carry him while he is distracting the dragon.
[01:00:23] Speaker B: Oh, yeah, that is a problem.
[01:00:26] Speaker D: Let me try, Will.
I'll cautiously approach the hole the foot was in.
[01:00:33] Speaker A: Okay.
It's quiet.
[01:00:35] Speaker D: And give a quick peek up.
[01:00:38] Speaker A: Enough masonry has fallen down. You think you could scramble up here pretty easily, get back up above ground, but you don't see anything.
Just open sky and rubble.
[01:00:48] Speaker D: All right, sure. I'll do that. Cautiously.
[01:00:50] Speaker A: The side of this basin of rubble has been essentially shattered. Pieces of rubble have been thrown around in all directions. It's no longer a nice, perfect basin. It's just scattered debris. And in the direction of Sternheim, all of the thorns appear to have been.
It's clear.
[01:01:12] Speaker D: It's clear.
I climb up.
[01:01:18] Speaker C: All right. Belain comes up after him, helping people.
[01:01:22] Speaker D: Out of the hole.
[01:01:23] Speaker C: Yep.
[01:01:24] Speaker B: Let's get out of here now.
[01:01:26] Speaker C: There's a dragon on the loose. There's a dragon on the loose. Though.
[01:01:32] Speaker A: In the distance you can kind of see it. It's not a small creature, but you see a skeletal creature kind of in the distance out of the thorns now kind of in the prairie lands, its back and wings kind of poking up above the vegetation.
[01:01:47] Speaker C: It's moving away from us.
[01:01:49] Speaker A: It is heading to Sternheim.
[01:01:51] Speaker C: Oh, God.
[01:01:54] Speaker B: You know, that sounds like a job for the sharp edge of the pump.
[01:01:57] Speaker C: That sounds like a great job for the sharp edge of the.
[01:02:11] Speaker A: And that is our show today. Special thanks to Tod Ferguson of my pet machine for our tunes, Julie at elaborate Flight of Fancy for our logo, and John Terra as the original author of the town of Sternheim in the 1990s. Don't forget to leave us a rating and review. And with that, what fight have our heroes started? Find out next time on carrots and suffering a D odyssey.
Don't.
