Episode Transcript
[00:00:31] Speaker A: Welcome to carrots and suffering. I am Nate, your dungeon master. Don't forget to leave us a rating and review. Today, our heroes are still in Sternheim, a town originally authored by John Terra. In the players did something I did not expect at a dangerous moment last game. So let's get right into it. Last time on carrots and suffering, our heroes fought a battle with three fairy dwarves that ended with them triggering a defense mechanism of some kind. There is a small glass vial that has been shattered on the ground, and you see an OD, purple smoke coming up out of it, and then it hits the ceiling and goes through the stone. Kindly roll me a religion check 18. That was some kind of trapped soul that they have released. The soul animated the skeleton of an enormous ancient dragon. And so our heroes dithered and hid. And, man, that's not looking good for the rest of the world. But let's see if they can recover.
[00:01:31] Speaker B: I think that might be the best. Yes. Let us just dig past the dragon.
[00:01:35] Speaker C: Here's my thought. I'll distract it, and we just run out. Yes, I kind of want to attack the dragonfoot, but.
[00:01:46] Speaker B: I am not going to be much help for you in a dragonfly.
[00:01:51] Speaker A: I am tapped out deeper in and in the direction of Sternheim. All of the thorns appear to have been flattened.
It's clear.
It's clear.
[00:02:05] Speaker C: I climb up.
[00:02:09] Speaker B: All right, Belain comes up after him.
[00:02:12] Speaker A: Let's get into it.
Hi, I'm Nate, and I will be your dungeon master.
[00:02:25] Speaker B: Hi, I'm Mandy. I play Boulain the grave domain death cleric.
[00:02:29] Speaker D: Hi, I'm Claire, and I play Creedin the love warlock.
[00:02:32] Speaker C: Hi, I'm Robert, and I play Xeris the barbarian, afraid of bone dragons.
[00:02:38] Speaker B: Is he really? He's afraid.
[00:02:39] Speaker C: Well, I mean, I didn't just rush out and attack it, so I figured I had to own up to that.
[00:02:43] Speaker D: Creedon is 100% afraid.
[00:02:45] Speaker B: We did contemplate going to sleep. Instead.
[00:02:49] Speaker D: We were like, we don't need to deal with this right now. This looks like somebody else's problem. We didn't do that.
[00:02:55] Speaker B: And then Nate may have more or less brow beat us into going after it now.
[00:03:01] Speaker A: You don't have to go after it now. I just have figured out what happens if you don't.
[00:03:05] Speaker B: You were clear there would be consequences.
[00:03:09] Speaker A: It is not going to wait outside for an hour or 8 hours.
[00:03:13] Speaker B: We were talking 8 hours.
[00:03:15] Speaker C: Okay, what if I zone to a different zone?
[00:03:18] Speaker A: Yeah, that would work.
[00:03:19] Speaker D: There should only be consequences to our actions, not our inactions.
[00:03:25] Speaker B: Okay, so are we going after this thing with our damage and no spell.
[00:03:30] Speaker A: Slots, or are you taking a nap? I sat down and figured out, like, is it a short nap? This is what happens. Is it a long nap? This is what happens. Is it no nap? Well, then you can just start chasing it.
[00:03:43] Speaker D: Let me quadruple check how Creedon is doing. I'm only five hit points down. That's good.
[00:03:50] Speaker C: I have myself as down no hit points. Does that sound right?
[00:03:53] Speaker B: I haven't taken any damage.
I've got 31.
[00:03:57] Speaker D: I think I just got, like, kicked in the foot by the dwarf. Or they, like, ice picked my toe.
[00:04:04] Speaker A: You've had a relatively uneventful two fights so far. Used a lot of spells, but you came out definitively on top.
[00:04:14] Speaker B: I think Boulain would love it if we could have a rest, but I think things will go very poorly if we do that.
[00:04:21] Speaker D: Yeah, you need a long rest, right?
[00:04:24] Speaker B: Well, I would need 4 hours, not an eight hour.
[00:04:27] Speaker D: That's a still.
[00:04:29] Speaker B: That's a lot of time for stuff to go real pear shaped for the centaurs and sternheim. We do have three rogues with us, right?
[00:04:36] Speaker D: I don't know if they're going to help us, but you can try to talk them into it. We're very persuasive.
[00:04:43] Speaker B: I mean, I think they're going to find that it's going to be hard to run away from this thing, but.
[00:04:50] Speaker D: You just go in the opposite direction.
[00:04:51] Speaker B: True. Although they kind of rely on us to advocate that they're not freaks of nature. Well, they kind of are freaks of nature, but we did warn them that they might get shot on site looking the way that they do.
[00:05:05] Speaker D: Yeah, but they won't get shot on site right now when there's a much bigger threat, right?
[00:05:11] Speaker B: That's true. But if they hang around that bigger threat, they may as well help us fight it.
[00:05:15] Speaker D: Well, let's go be heroes, I guess.
[00:05:17] Speaker B: All right, let's go do the right thing.
[00:05:21] Speaker D: This is what my mother would do, I guess.
[00:05:24] Speaker B: This is exhausting.
Why can't we just be evil?
Wait. Zuris is evil, isn't he?
[00:05:35] Speaker D: How fast is the dragon moving?
[00:05:37] Speaker A: He has a 40 foot move speed.
[00:05:39] Speaker D: Okay, so we can keep up pretty well.
We can't match its speed, but we won't get left in the dust.
[00:05:48] Speaker B: Has it totally obliterated the thorns? Like, we can just follow in its wake? Or do we need to go through the tunnel and come out the way we came in?
[00:05:55] Speaker A: It stomped them down. It would be much safer to go through the tunnel.
[00:05:58] Speaker D: Okay, I'm a fan of the tunnel plan. I don't want to creed. And glances over at our fuzzy friends.
I don't want any missteps.
[00:06:09] Speaker C: All right, let's head out through the tunnel.
[00:06:11] Speaker A: You hop into the tunnel, climbing out of the exposed sky. From when the dragon picked the castle up in bits again and looked down. Who knows what he was looking for. Speaking of which, where did you put all that gold that was blinging out these dwarves?
[00:06:29] Speaker D: I thought that we just split it up and put it in our inventories.
[00:06:32] Speaker C: That's what I did.
[00:06:33] Speaker A: Yeah. That is a mechanical answer. So it was basically these giant gold chain.
[00:06:40] Speaker C: Mean I would stuff it in my backpack.
[00:06:42] Speaker D: Creighton doesn't like gold jewelry. She likes gunmetal or silver.
[00:06:45] Speaker A: So that makes sense.
[00:06:47] Speaker D: It goes in her bags.
[00:06:49] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:06:50] Speaker B: I think Boulain would have also put it in her bags.
[00:06:53] Speaker A: All right. So you are not walking out looking like flava flav.
[00:06:56] Speaker B: No, we are not walking out with another character. Absolutely.
[00:07:01] Speaker C: I don't know. That giant clock sounds like a good.
[00:07:03] Speaker B: Cannot speak for the rogues.
[00:07:05] Speaker C: Good accessory.
[00:07:08] Speaker A: They're carefully guarding to make sure no one looks in their gigantic backpacks.
[00:07:13] Speaker B: Is that where they put the gold?
[00:07:14] Speaker D: They're keeping something from us in their bags, and we don't know what it is.
[00:07:17] Speaker B: Right.
[00:07:18] Speaker D: But we didn't really want to push it. I don't know. I feel like they have a right to privacy. It's not really my place to pry. Unless they give us a reason to.
[00:07:25] Speaker B: Yeah, Belain would agree with that.
[00:07:27] Speaker C: Yeah. I'm not looking to know more.
[00:07:28] Speaker A: When you get out of this tunnel, it is a lot longer than you remembered. Because you were charmed last time you walked through it. You come out, you are outside the Thorns again. And interestingly, the two centaurs who you left here guarding the place. And the four centaurs who brought you here are not here. All six of them are gone.
[00:07:50] Speaker D: Can we see the dragon now that.
[00:07:52] Speaker A: You are out of the thorns? Yes. So it is so freaking big. Even though it is skeletal in the distance, you can sort of still see Sternheim. And the dragon is stomping at a quick pace towards it.
[00:08:06] Speaker D: Yeah. Okay. It's not unreasonable to assume that they saw that dragon.
[00:08:09] Speaker B: Are the centaur guards who were here chasing after it.
[00:08:12] Speaker A: You don't see them.
[00:08:13] Speaker D: That's because running towards the dragon is stupid. Now let's do it.
[00:08:18] Speaker B: Now let's do it. Let's run. Run right into the fray. Lulaine will start running after the dragon.
[00:08:25] Speaker C: As will Ziris.
[00:08:26] Speaker D: Is it possible to send Sadie ahead to warn people or something? Is that something that we can do? She can't really talk.
[00:08:34] Speaker B: She cannot talk. I could send her as a sign that we are coming, but I have no idea if anybody will take that as a good sign or not.
[00:08:46] Speaker A: All right, you start running through these really high prairie grasses, and I would like you to roll me. Survival roll.
[00:08:56] Speaker B: That's a 1216.
[00:08:58] Speaker C: That's a nine for survival.
[00:09:01] Speaker A: Cretan, before you leap into a clearing, you realize there are creatures in that clearing because you are probably not in front. It is too late to warn other people. Xeris and Bulain, you plow into a clearing and basically hunched down on their horsey legs, and now, below the level of this tall prairie grass are twelve centaurs. And you spill into this clearing and they turn towards you in big surprise, there are now twelve bristling spears pointed in your direction. What do you do?
[00:09:37] Speaker C: Point towards wherever the large bone dragon is still in sight. Right. You can just. Still.
[00:09:44] Speaker A: Yeah, no, he's going to point towards.
[00:09:46] Speaker C: That and keep running.
[00:09:47] Speaker B: I think Boulain will actually backpedal a little and put her hands up and say, we have to go after the.
[00:09:53] Speaker D: Dragon, and you should help us.
[00:09:55] Speaker A: Xeris, nothing takes an attack of opportunity on you as you get past them. But, Boulain, you are going to need to roll me a persuasion.
[00:10:04] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:10:04] Speaker A: Or actually, Creedon, you can roll the persuasion. And, Boulain, you can aid Creden.
[00:10:08] Speaker D: I will tell you, I get a.
[00:10:09] Speaker B: Plus four on persuasion.
[00:10:10] Speaker A: What do you get? Six?
[00:10:13] Speaker D: Yeah, I get plus.
[00:10:14] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:10:14] Speaker D: Yes.
[00:10:15] Speaker B: I will aid Creden.
[00:10:16] Speaker D: Yes. Creden will say, this dragon will destroy both Sternheim and your village. You need to help us fight it. This could end the war.
[00:10:24] Speaker A: Going to be a regular d 20 roll, because you would have had disadvantage if you were not being aided.
[00:10:29] Speaker D: Well, I just got a twelve total. Oh, no.
[00:10:33] Speaker A: Bummer.
[00:10:34] Speaker D: Yeah, that was a bad role.
[00:10:35] Speaker A: They look at you and then one in the back, who is Niha says, I'm afraid we've taken too many losses in the last few days as is. We will not be charging a dragon.
[00:10:48] Speaker B: We still have the mayor with us, too, don't we?
[00:10:51] Speaker A: You do.
[00:10:52] Speaker B: Oh, yeah.
[00:10:52] Speaker D: We still don't know that that glave is.
[00:10:55] Speaker B: We don't know what his glave is. His glave could save the day and we have no idea. He isn't being forthcoming about it. I'm just going to point that out.
[00:11:04] Speaker A: He asked you to give him the glave.
[00:11:05] Speaker B: That's not being forthcoming.
[00:11:07] Speaker A: And to untie him, that's also not being forthcoming.
[00:11:11] Speaker D: Creed is just going to run past them. She swung her shot and we have a dragon to kill.
[00:11:19] Speaker B: Yeah, I think Bolaine's eyes go a little half loaded. And she says, as she starts to move after Creed, and then says, if you honestly wish that kind of ill on Sternheim, I will not try to dissuade you. And then she takes off.
[00:11:33] Speaker A: Athalos the centaur, who is the new diplomat, stands up and puts his stop hand out. Not at all of you. Just at the mayor, and says, you stay. Sit.
[00:11:48] Speaker B: He will stay if you help us.
[00:11:50] Speaker D: We can deal with this later. That is the last of our problems.
[00:11:54] Speaker A: The mayor says, give me the glave. Give me the glave. I will fight. Give me the glave.
[00:11:59] Speaker B: What does the glave do?
[00:12:00] Speaker A: It's a dragon slaying glave. It's for killing this dragon. It's made from the scales of this dragon.
[00:12:05] Speaker B: All right, insight.
Oh, that was high 20. Non natural 20.
[00:12:12] Speaker A: Yeah. Boulain, you do think he's telling you the truth, that this is a dragon slaying glave, and he would like to wield it.
[00:12:18] Speaker B: Zuris, can you wield a glave? Oh, you're gone.
[00:12:22] Speaker C: I'm at least around ahead of you.
[00:12:24] Speaker D: We can probably yell at him as we're hustling.
[00:12:27] Speaker B: Zuris, wait.
[00:12:28] Speaker C: Sure, I'll stop entirely, I suppose.
[00:12:33] Speaker D: Did you wield the glave? I thought that he was carrying it.
[00:12:36] Speaker C: Oh, yeah, I am carrying it, aren't I?
[00:12:38] Speaker A: It's on his back.
[00:12:39] Speaker D: You can just tell him to use the glave.
[00:12:41] Speaker B: Use the glave.
[00:12:43] Speaker C: All right.
[00:12:47] Speaker A: I'll keep going.
[00:12:48] Speaker D: All right, Boulain, we should hustle.
[00:12:50] Speaker B: Boulay will look back to the centaurs and say we will discuss handing him over after we have dealt with the dragon. If you wish to help us to speed that process up, you are welcome to come with us. And she will start going.
[00:13:02] Speaker A: You go. The mayor, who is in handcuffs, seems to be forcibly stopped by centaurs.
So your choices here are to stop and make an issue of this or continue on.
[00:13:18] Speaker D: I don't care enough about the mayor.
[00:13:20] Speaker B: To stop and care about the mayor.
But I'm kind of pissed at them, too.
[00:13:28] Speaker D: Yeah, I'm not thrilled about this either. We can have very stern words with them later.
[00:13:33] Speaker A: Your great persuasion check was a twelve.
[00:13:36] Speaker B: Yeah. All right.
Boulain will sigh, but abandon it and run on.
[00:13:43] Speaker A: The three rogues are chasing after you by the time you get within possible attack range of this dragon, it is skeletally raging, tearing down the wooden ramparts around Sternheim and smashing the huts that are on the edge of the village. The militia seems to have with its first action, run the fuck away.
But you can hear like horns sounding and they be preparing an assault. It's unclear who will show up, but they were not ready for this. What do you do?
[00:14:20] Speaker C: Run up to it and attack it with a glave. As soon as they can, Thulain will cast.
[00:14:25] Speaker B: The dancing lights can trip to try to distract it, at least for a moment.
[00:14:29] Speaker D: Why did I not learn? Thalmaturgy is one of my.
[00:14:32] Speaker B: I have thalmaturgy. What are you wondering? What did you have in mind?
[00:14:36] Speaker D: I was just thinking of trying to yell to the town to aid us with fighting because I don't know if the three of us can do it alone, but with all of the guards, maybe some of them may have died. But this is a sacrifice I am willing to make.
[00:14:54] Speaker A: Creedon, you can start shouting for the guard. Give me a disadvantaged persuasion roll.
[00:15:01] Speaker D: Yeah, let's do it. Stand your ground and fight this beast. She shouts oh, my God. I rolled a four and a three. Well, that's a grand total of a nine.
[00:15:12] Speaker B: Nine.
[00:15:13] Speaker A: If anybody hears you, they are hiding and they do not come out blow. Let's go ahead and roll initiative here because I think that is the next step.
[00:15:24] Speaker B: All right, I got a 1610 14 Creedon.
[00:15:30] Speaker A: The combat is starting. This dragon is about to notice Zerus, who is about to hit it. What are you going to do roughly.
[00:15:36] Speaker D: How far am I from it? Am I within 90ft?
[00:15:39] Speaker A: You can be 90ft if long as you were jogging while you were shouting.
[00:15:43] Speaker D: Yeah, it was a very huffy and puffy yell that I did, which is why it was so bad. Nobody was going to listen to me going, Stan, I'm going to do the classic Hex Eldridge blast combo, my last spell slot to get hex out there. And I'm going to do, I'll do wisdom saving throws as the disadvantaged one. And I'm going to try to hit it with Eldridge blast.
Oh, my God, I am rolling so bad today. That's a ten to hit.
[00:16:14] Speaker A: Good news, it has no protection because it has no scales.
[00:16:20] Speaker B: It's just bone.
[00:16:22] Speaker A: A ten hits it.
[00:16:23] Speaker B: Oh, wow.
[00:16:24] Speaker D: I thought I would just go between the ribs. All right.
[00:16:27] Speaker A: It's not very dexterous. It's quite large.
[00:16:30] Speaker D: That is nine force damage and six necrotic damage, which probably doesn't do much to a bone.
[00:16:37] Speaker B: I was thinking about toll the dead, but that's all necrotic.
[00:16:40] Speaker D: That's what my hex does.
[00:16:42] Speaker A: Okie dokie. You hit it for damage. It sort of seems like a tiny spark speck on this really big skeleton, but it's damage.
[00:16:54] Speaker D: Can I run behind? Like, is there anything near me that I can just kind of hide behind?
[00:16:58] Speaker A: You are in high prairie grass, so at any time you can drop on all fours and be completely concealed.
[00:17:05] Speaker D: Okay, yeah, sure.
I'll run 20ft from where I am and then just duck down.
[00:17:11] Speaker A: Okay. You are currently 70ft from the dragon and prone. Which brings us to Boulain.
[00:17:17] Speaker B: Boulain is going to channel divinity.
[00:17:22] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:17:23] Speaker B: So she's going to cast channel divinity on the dragon. And then as a bonus action, she'll cast spiritual weapon.
[00:17:29] Speaker A: Okay. You make a weapon appear.
[00:17:31] Speaker B: That's a 23 to hit. Okay, so you could do double damage, right?
[00:17:36] Speaker A: You do.
[00:17:36] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:17:36] Speaker A: But that means Zirus does not.
[00:17:39] Speaker D: Oh, we probably want to let Zirus do. Oh, but he could miss. It's hard.
[00:17:43] Speaker B: He might miss. Yeah. Two times per day. Okay, I'll actually look that up in a minute, just to be sure, but fuck it, I'm doing my double damage. Sorry, Zurich.
[00:17:54] Speaker A: Roll it up.
[00:17:55] Speaker B: So it's roll once and multiply by two, or roll twice.
[00:17:57] Speaker A: Roll, add up and multiply by two.
[00:18:00] Speaker B: Okay, well, that's a six times two is twelve. Force damage.
[00:18:05] Speaker A: Okay. Zeros.
[00:18:07] Speaker C: All right.
[00:18:08] Speaker D: Use the glave.
[00:18:09] Speaker C: Yes, I'm using the glave.
[00:18:11] Speaker B: I love it when we go into crawl by accident.
[00:18:15] Speaker C: I do not know if there are any bonuses on the glave.
[00:18:19] Speaker A: Maybe there are.
Use the same bonus for attack that you would use on your axe.
[00:18:25] Speaker C: Then I. And I managed to score a ten.
[00:18:28] Speaker A: A ten is what you need.
[00:18:30] Speaker C: Eight damage.
[00:18:31] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:18:32] Speaker A: Add three. D. Six. Dragon slaying damage.
[00:18:35] Speaker B: Holy shit. Fuck. Yeah.
[00:18:37] Speaker D: Nice. There's the time to.
[00:18:38] Speaker B: Sorry, I should have held off.
[00:18:40] Speaker C: That's okay.
[00:18:41] Speaker D: Well, now we know. I mean, we didn't know.
[00:18:43] Speaker A: It's only seven, so total of how much?
[00:18:46] Speaker C: 15.
[00:18:47] Speaker A: Okay. And is any of that radiant damage?
[00:18:50] Speaker C: I let you have asked that. I did not rage, so.
[00:18:53] Speaker A: No. Okay.
[00:18:55] Speaker C: I missed my rage.
[00:18:57] Speaker D: Hopefully we have lots more routes.
[00:19:00] Speaker C: Okay, actually, I'll go ahead and I'll rage now.
[00:19:02] Speaker A: That's a good idea.
[00:19:04] Speaker C: Yeah, just because I'll have incoming damage.
[00:19:06] Speaker A: So the dragon's turn was actually before Xeris closed. He used it to completely decimate a house by picking it up and throwing it at another house.
[00:19:16] Speaker B: My God.
[00:19:17] Speaker A: The gesture didn't look terribly difficult at all. I hate that the house it threw was palm sized.
Which brings us to Greedon.
[00:19:29] Speaker D: What are the rogues doing?
[00:19:30] Speaker A: Hold on, we will hit end of round. So the rogues, well they'll shoot shots and then drop into the brush.
[00:19:36] Speaker B: Probably smart.
[00:19:37] Speaker A: Two of them will hit and two of them will disappear into the brush and one of them is not doing a great job of hiding. You can all see him.
[00:19:45] Speaker B: They do have silver bolts if that matters.
[00:19:48] Speaker A: It does not, but they do have sneak attack damage and Xeris is a friend in Malay.
[00:19:55] Speaker C: That's true. I will be friendly to them for now.
[00:20:01] Speaker A: All right. They combined hit the dragon for 26 and that is going to bring us to Creden.
[00:20:11] Speaker D: All right. Is there any kind of knowledge check I could do to see if like, I don't know, dragons have particular weaknesses or something or about particularly undead dragons?
[00:20:22] Speaker A: Knowledge religion would tell you about skeletons and knowledge Arcana would tell you about dragons. You take your pick.
[00:20:29] Speaker D: I'll do an arcana because I paid attention in that class and not in my religion classes.
[00:20:35] Speaker B: I could do a religion roll next.
[00:20:36] Speaker D: That was an at 20.
[00:20:38] Speaker B: Yay.
[00:20:38] Speaker D: Plus 222.
[00:20:40] Speaker A: So you know that red dragons are fire breathing creatures immune to fire with scales as hard as super thick iron. It doesn't have scales anymore. They have rotted away. So you're not dealing with that problem. Doesn't have lungs so it's not breathing fire but you suspect it probably isn't going to be susceptible to fire. Normally dragons are highly intelligent. This one is not acting right. It has a bite attack, a claw attack and a tail slap attack. You should expect at least some combination of three of those every turn that you are in Malay with it.
[00:21:18] Speaker D: Would I know if red dragons are weaker to frost damage or like cold damage?
[00:21:23] Speaker A: You know they are not particularly weak to it but it should work.
[00:21:28] Speaker D: Okay. I think Eldritch blast is the way to go. I was debating using a different spell but Eldritch blast will do the most damage. I think that's probably best for bones.
[00:21:37] Speaker B: Does that do force damage?
[00:21:39] Speaker D: Yes.
So I'm going to give it the.
[00:21:42] Speaker A: Eldridge blast and that is with your net 20. Given the size of this dragon you imagine it is well over 1200 years old.
[00:21:51] Speaker D: Whoa.
[00:21:52] Speaker A: Before it died.
[00:21:53] Speaker D: Oh my God. That's a 16 to hit. That'll hit and I will do eleven force damage and four necrotic damage and then I'm going to run. I think I only have half my movement because I was prone. So I'm going to run 15ft and then squat down on the ground again. Going to keep moving.
[00:22:10] Speaker A: That's going to bring us to Boulain.
[00:22:13] Speaker B: Can I do my religion knowledge?
[00:22:16] Speaker A: Sure.
[00:22:16] Speaker B: About this thing?
That's a ten. That's probably not going to do anything. Does it tell her anything?
[00:22:24] Speaker A: A ten tells you that skeletons tend to take double damage from bludgeoning weapons. Okay, that's about all you can get.
[00:22:31] Speaker B: Okay. I don't have any bludgeoning weapons, except my spiritual weapon, which doesn't.
[00:22:37] Speaker A: Your spiritual weapon is a bird that apps at it.
[00:22:40] Speaker B: I know she's going to cast sacred flame at it, but she needs to do a deck save.
[00:22:44] Speaker A: That is radiant damage, correct?
[00:22:45] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:22:46] Speaker A: And not fire.
[00:22:47] Speaker B: And not fire.
[00:22:48] Speaker A: That's good, because fire is not helpful.
This dragon makes saving throws like a boss.
[00:22:55] Speaker B: Oh, shit. All right, well, and then as a bonus action, she'll activate the spiritual weapon, so. Spiritual weapon. Oh, that's better. That's a 21.
That'll hit is nine horse damage.
[00:23:07] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:23:07] Speaker B: And Boulain will also go prone in the brush, because she would like to not be seen.
[00:23:13] Speaker A: It is the dragon's turn. You have done nearly 100 damage to it. You can see cracks in bone, but overwhelmingly, that does not seem to be a lot of damage. It goes to fight Zerus, because you're the only thing that isn't a house.
What is your armor class, Zerus?
[00:23:31] Speaker C: 14, if I remember correctly.
[00:23:34] Speaker A: Ooh, doggy.
[00:23:35] Speaker C: Okay, it is 14.
[00:23:38] Speaker A: None of these attacks are ones. So they all hit.
[00:23:41] Speaker B: Oh, God.
[00:23:42] Speaker D: Oh, no. We used all of our health potions, too.
Crap.
[00:23:49] Speaker B: Stupid pox monster.
[00:23:51] Speaker A: That is 61 damage.
[00:23:53] Speaker B: Oh, my God.
[00:23:54] Speaker C: I assume that's not halved.
[00:23:56] Speaker A: Half because you're raging, so drop that down to 30.
[00:23:59] Speaker C: Sure.
[00:24:00] Speaker D: Well, that's something.
[00:24:01] Speaker B: Do you have, like, one hit point left?
[00:24:04] Speaker C: I got seven.
[00:24:05] Speaker D: Oh, my God.
[00:24:06] Speaker A: And Xeris, your turn.
[00:24:08] Speaker D: I don't know what we thought we could do here.
[00:24:12] Speaker B: We're trying to do the right thing, but Sternheim isn't rising up to help us.
[00:24:18] Speaker C: Yeah, a cure wound spell is not going to help me, so I'm just going to attack it.
[00:24:22] Speaker A: Sternheim still seems to be regrouping in turn.
[00:24:24] Speaker C: Two managed to hit with a 13.
[00:24:27] Speaker A: That's definitely a hit.
[00:24:29] Speaker C: And that's going to. Oh, I need one more d. Six. Oh, nice. Okay, so that is eight radiant. Eight, and 26 slashing.
[00:24:39] Speaker D: Why a glave? Clearly, it should have been like, a hammer.
[00:24:45] Speaker A: That would be great if.
[00:24:46] Speaker B: Or a siege weapon they were going to fight.
[00:24:48] Speaker A: The skeletal version of that dragon.
Zerus, your radiant damage seems to burn the dragon doing double damage. You have hit him real hard.
[00:24:59] Speaker C: Yes.
[00:25:00] Speaker A: The rogues pop up. Two of them get advantage again. Only two of them succeed in hitting. I love that.
[00:25:09] Speaker D: One of them is just really, really bad. Consistently. That's the day.
[00:25:13] Speaker B: He's a digger. He's more dig claws.
He's really good at digging.
[00:25:20] Speaker A: They do 28 damage total between the two of them.
[00:25:24] Speaker C: There is one other thing I'd like to do, if I may.
[00:25:28] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:25:29] Speaker C: I would like to try and run up its tail.
[00:25:34] Speaker A: Give me an athletics roll.
[00:25:37] Speaker C: 16 brings it to 21.
[00:25:39] Speaker A: You are clean to the back of the dragon. Successfully. It will not be able to reach you with its claws or its bite. All right, I'll take it.
[00:25:48] Speaker D: Nice.
[00:25:49] Speaker B: Oh, my God.
[00:25:50] Speaker A: If you take an attack with your axe, next turn, you will need to roll another check to not fall off.
[00:25:56] Speaker C: Oh, for sure.
[00:25:57] Speaker A: And that one will be acrobatics, by the way.
[00:26:00] Speaker D: No fun.
[00:26:01] Speaker A: I think you need a free hand to use athletics.
[00:26:05] Speaker C: That's fair.
[00:26:06] Speaker A: Sternheim attempts to rally.
[00:26:09] Speaker D: Please. Sternheim.
[00:26:11] Speaker A: You hear some shouts, and three militia men appear. That is an underwhelming response so far. But they do shoot on their turn. Two of them connecting successfully. Their crossbows not. Wow. Okay, well, never mind. I was about to say their crossbows aren't terribly effective. Then they roll max damage. Both of them.
[00:26:32] Speaker B: Nice.
[00:26:33] Speaker A: They do 18 between the two of them.
[00:26:36] Speaker D: They were medium effective.
[00:26:37] Speaker A: Dragon has currently taken 170 hit points of damage. And we are now to the new round. Creedon.
[00:26:44] Speaker D: How's that looking? Is it, like. Got some cracked ribs?
[00:26:48] Speaker A: It started with cracked ribs. It has some more cracked ribs.
One of its wings looks a little beat up.
[00:26:55] Speaker D: I can't get a great feeling of how it's doing.
[00:26:59] Speaker A: It looks dead.
[00:27:01] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:27:01] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:27:02] Speaker D: I mean, that's fair and makes a lot of sense, but you miss every fish you don't try to catch.
[00:27:10] Speaker A: That's true.
[00:27:15] Speaker D: Can I try to persuade people to help again?
[00:27:19] Speaker A: If you would like to jump up, run onto a fence post or something, and spend your action shouting, you can attempt to rally the troops.
[00:27:28] Speaker D: You know what? I'm going to do it. Why would we defend a town that won't even defend itself?
[00:27:33] Speaker A: Run and shout, please.
[00:27:35] Speaker D: Okay.
[00:27:36] Speaker B: Yeah, let's do it.
[00:27:38] Speaker D: That's an ad. 20.
[00:27:40] Speaker A: Is it really?
[00:27:41] Speaker D: Yes.
26 credence shots. Stand and fight.
You must defend your town from this great.
[00:27:51] Speaker B: For the listener benefits. Claire is doing a Norma ray strike.
[00:27:55] Speaker D: I got my arms up, making myself big, because that's how you scare off the dragon.
[00:28:01] Speaker B: It's also how you get its attention. Just saying that's how you get people.
[00:28:06] Speaker D: To listen to you is be big.
[00:28:08] Speaker A: You see farmers kind of coming out of their heidi holes from behind various things like barrels and houses.
[00:28:14] Speaker D: Grab your torch and pitchfork.
[00:28:17] Speaker B: Many hands make light work.
[00:28:20] Speaker A: They appear to be producing pitchforks. One of them has a blacksmithing hammer.
[00:28:24] Speaker D: That looks good. Hammers. Hammers are good. Don't use fire. Put that torch down.
[00:28:30] Speaker B: Hammers crush bone.
[00:28:33] Speaker D: Yeah, we got this, everybody.
[00:28:36] Speaker A: Meanwhile, the dragon.
[00:28:38] Speaker D: Oh, no.
[00:28:39] Speaker A: Well, you rolled a Nat 20, and I have to say that that was a lot of attention you called to yourself.
[00:28:43] Speaker D: Yeah, I sure did. It was good knowing you.
[00:28:46] Speaker A: Every. I think the dragon.
[00:28:48] Speaker D: My ac is 13. I don't think he can miss me.
[00:28:51] Speaker A: He can't? No. Well, he could roll a one.
[00:28:53] Speaker D: Okay. Yes.
[00:28:55] Speaker A: The dragon whips his tail around, slapping you.
[00:28:59] Speaker D: Can I high 50.
[00:29:04] Speaker A: Slapping you pretty hard. 19 damage.
[00:29:07] Speaker D: Okay.
[00:29:07] Speaker A: And I need a strength saving throw.
[00:29:12] Speaker D: As you know, Creedon is known for her beefiness. That is a seven.
[00:29:18] Speaker A: Great. You go flying.
[00:29:21] Speaker B: Oh, my God.
[00:29:22] Speaker A: Roll me a dexterity saving throw.
[00:29:25] Speaker D: I'm better at that.
Oh, no, that's also a seven.
[00:29:31] Speaker A: You go through a wall of a house. Oh, God, please take another seven damage as you smash into a hut, assuming you're still conscious, you are now prone inside a house.
[00:29:46] Speaker D: A little man. I am like all or nothing today with my rolls. It's like Nat 20 or three.
[00:29:53] Speaker A: The dragon, with the rest of its turn, is going to do a little bit of a barrel roll. So I need another athletics roll. Zeros to hang on.
Countered by the dragon's athletic. Oh, the dragon rolls a nat one.
[00:30:09] Speaker C: I rolled a natural 20.
[00:30:11] Speaker A: Well, with a nat one, it's still got an eleven, but your natural 20 is solid.
[00:30:15] Speaker C: 25.
[00:30:16] Speaker A: It rolls over, you hold onto the vertebrae, slide in between the ribs, and come back out on top when it writes itself. Thus, you are neither crushed by the earth nor are you thrown off the dragon's back. Boulain, she is going to give the spare.
[00:30:31] Speaker B: The dying can trip to Sadie and send her after Creedon and say, if she is unconscious, deliver this to her.
[00:30:47] Speaker A: Well, this is a mid role. That is mostly an explanation from the dungeon master, mostly because I feel like I owe you one. So, in dungeons and dragons, there's a recommended encounter difficulty. Monsters have a challenge rating, and if you expect your party to fight that monster, the challenge rating should probably be about the same level the characters are. In this case, four. Now, this is a custom monster I made, but I would probably put its challenge rating closer to 14, meaning this is way past a deadly encounter for characters at this level. To make this monster, I took a challenge rating 24 ancient red dragon. From the monster manual. I removed defenses, firepowers, flight, mental stats, legendary actions, frightful presence, all these things. Even with all of these substantial cuts, this is a bad boy, town ending, party killing threat.
So what was I, the fool dungeon master, thinking? Well, in my mind, they'd not fight the dragon skeleton head on like they are, but they'd basically fight parts of the dragon from their underground tunnel. It would stick its arm down and claw at them, flail at them, and the party would sort of fight one limb at a time, which I would have given, like, a lesser amount of HP than the whole dragon. Meanwhile, to create a sense of urgency, there'd be some shaking tunnels and falling rocks. This could injure people who didn't enter into Malay with the giant arm or whatever. I also gave the players a powerful npc paladin with a dragon sling glave, capable of attacking three times per turn with it, and three third level rogues that all have sneak attack, which can really compound some damage. So at this point, the party would be in for a mostly cinematic battle. They'd feel a sense of danger, but they wouldn't truly be in a lot of danger. Now. The party decided to hide from the dragon, not fight it. This dragon, not finding its gold, decided to go to the nearby town where the gold probably was, and stomped over the maddening thorns to throw down with the now leaderless trading outpost. So I called it a night. I told the players they did have some resources in the party that they had not considered. Reminded them that there would be consequences for the town if they chose to rest. Now, I didn't mean to guilt them into attacking the dragon without arrest, but I guess I did. So I came back to the game the next week with three plans. Either the heroes wait a short rest, charge the dragon. This gives the dragon ample time to destroy the town of Sternheim, but also ample time to make the centaurs feel extreme shame for not helping and giving the party a dozen terrifying mounted warriors to help wreck this dragon skeleton, and maybe a rallied group of Sternheim militia members to mop up again. Very manageable situation. Or the party could wait 8 hours. Sternheim and its militia is trashed. Several centaurs have died. The rest have fled. But sharp edge of pub has arrived from the east, and Governor Tanglebeard has arrived from the north with Paladins. That would have been a ReALLY cool fight, but, you know, less deadly if they don't wait and charge the dragon. They're taking the most dangerous action. They're fighting the dragon head on at the height of its power. Maybe with some scattered militia members to help them, maybe they can convince the centaurs to come in. MAybe they'll take their paladin. MAybe they'll give him the dragon slaying. Glave, none of this is clear. This is a very dangerous decision, and it happens to be the decision they made.
Now, there's some good news here. My party is capable of doing about 100 damage a turn to this dragons, if they're smart about it, and they usually are. So they only need to survive roughly six turns, and the battle will be decided one way or the other. Well, they left the paladin in chains. They failed. The attempt to sway the centaurs. They ran at the dragon directly out in the open.
This is a really bad situation. I don't know if they're going to make it. They don't know if they're going to make it. We're all regretting this situation. I'm allowing some friendly dungeon master calls, because, to be honest, I am an omnipotent narrator who does actually secretly root for my characters. But I want to stress that, like, I don't know which way this is going to go.
There you have it, folks. A look behind the magic curtain of the dungeon master. We're all just making it up as we go, I guess. All right, let's see what happens.
[00:35:15] Speaker D: I guess you guys don't know what happened to me.
[00:35:18] Speaker B: Yeah, well, Boulain saw her go flying and crash through the wall of a house.
Can I use that as my action and then do a bonus action with a spiritual weapon?
[00:35:30] Speaker A: Yes, that will work just fine.
[00:35:32] Speaker B: Okay. And then she will use a spiritual weapon.
Natural 20.
[00:35:39] Speaker A: Okay, double the dice, please.
[00:35:41] Speaker B: Okay, gladly.
1015 force damage.
[00:35:46] Speaker A: Zeros.
[00:35:47] Speaker C: Wow. I think this is the last moment.
[00:35:52] Speaker D: Me, too.
[00:35:54] Speaker B: No, you all can't die on me.
[00:35:57] Speaker C: I'm going to go ahead and just drop off his back.
[00:36:02] Speaker A: Okay?
[00:36:03] Speaker C: And then I'm going to recklessly strike at him.
[00:36:06] Speaker A: Please do.
[00:36:08] Speaker C: Well, 19 is not enough for a crit.
[00:36:12] Speaker A: No, but it does hit good.
[00:36:15] Speaker C: That is again, eight, radiant. And this time, much less on the other damage.
[00:36:21] Speaker A: 18, slashing, as you were leaping off, managed to crush cleave through the bone. That holds up one of its wings, dropping the wing to the ground where it stops moving.
[00:36:34] Speaker C: Hey.
[00:36:36] Speaker A: But you still have a mostly intact skeleton.
End of round. A volley from the rogues includes one crit and two hits.
[00:36:48] Speaker B: Yay.
[00:36:48] Speaker A: They do 50 damage this turn. Wow.
[00:36:51] Speaker C: Seems good.
[00:36:52] Speaker B: Go, rogues. Glad you're with us.
[00:36:54] Speaker A: The three militia men who are fighting successfully, they shoot. Only one of them manages to connect for a mighty four damage. And then Creedon. You said you net 20, so your persuasion was a 26?
[00:37:10] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:37:11] Speaker A: 16 peasants swarm this thing's legs.
[00:37:15] Speaker B: 16 red shirts.
[00:37:16] Speaker A: So eight of them will connect successfully. And with their improvised weapons, they will do three times. Eight is 24 damage.
[00:37:25] Speaker B: Are they wearing red shirts?
[00:37:27] Speaker A: Most of them. If they're not red, they will be soon.
You have done 300 damage to the dragon.
[00:37:34] Speaker B: Oh, my God.
[00:37:35] Speaker A: It is a new round I will roll. Right. The militia seems to finally be getting their shit together.
You see a group of eight men who are charging this direction through the streets with long spears and crossbows in armor. And this other dice that I'm rolling indicates that nothing new has happened. Moving on. Creedon.
[00:37:58] Speaker D: Creedon throws up and then pats herself down and is very mad that she has a potion that can turn her into a twelve year old and another one that's poisoned.
Stand up.
And I assume I got knocked pretty far, but I assume I'm still within 120ft and can still.
[00:38:15] Speaker B: Eldritch.
[00:38:16] Speaker A: You are? Yes. Okay.
[00:38:17] Speaker D: Yeah, I'm just going to do an eldritch bust. Oh, I never rolled for concentration for my hex.
[00:38:23] Speaker A: You should do that now.
Con. Save for half damage or ten, whichever is worse.
[00:38:31] Speaker D: One of those is an at one, so hex is gone.
[00:38:33] Speaker A: Go ahead and shoot that beautiful beam of hearts.
[00:38:38] Speaker D: 13 force damage. Okay, it's something.
[00:38:44] Speaker A: Boulain, your turn.
[00:38:46] Speaker B: All right, so she cast dancing lights earlier, and she hasn't done any concentration spells since, so that's still up there, right?
[00:38:52] Speaker A: There are some lights dancing. Yeah.
[00:38:54] Speaker B: She wants to cast thomaturgy to make those lights seem like they explode in its face because she just wants to distract it.
[00:39:01] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:39:01] Speaker B: And maybe keep it from attacking its next victim.
[00:39:06] Speaker A: You can. The dragon seems unperturbed by the boom and exploding lights.
[00:39:11] Speaker B: Damn. Oh, well.
[00:39:12] Speaker A: But you may use your bonus action to hit it with spiritual weapon.
[00:39:16] Speaker B: I'll definitely do that. Damn. Sorry. Thought it was worth trying since it was already in the air.
[00:39:20] Speaker A: I mean, it was, but the saves are what they are.
[00:39:23] Speaker B: All right, well, that's a 19 with plus five is a 24.
[00:39:27] Speaker A: That it?
[00:39:27] Speaker B: She will do twelve force damage with the spiritual weapon. And she also looks through Sadie's eyes to check on Creedon.
[00:39:35] Speaker A: So the dragon has 19 targets to choose from. I'm going to roll a D 20, a one and a 20 will both represent zerus. Okay, Xeris, you don't get hit this turn.
Instead, three peasants die horribly.
[00:39:54] Speaker B: I know the one who joked about them being red shirts.
[00:39:57] Speaker D: I mean, as I said, some of them may die.
This is a sacrifice we are milling to make.
[00:40:05] Speaker A: So, Zirus. Yeah. You don't get killed.
[00:40:08] Speaker D: Two of us are also about to die horribly.
[00:40:11] Speaker A: 13 remaining.
[00:40:12] Speaker D: Getting rid of our peasants. I nab 20 for that. I almost died for that.
[00:40:18] Speaker A: Zeros, you're up.
[00:40:20] Speaker C: We're going to recklessly attack him again.
It's a lot of dice. 23, that is seven radiant this time, and 16 slashing rogues.
[00:40:36] Speaker A: Fire. It actually does not go great. They will do 31 damage isn't bad. Militia men spill into the square, basically charging this thing. Crossbows fire, stabs happen.
34 damage this turn and you have done 410 damage to the dragon. Creedon, it is your turn.
[00:41:02] Speaker D: Oh, my God. And it's missing a wing now, right?
[00:41:05] Speaker A: It is. Yes.
[00:41:06] Speaker D: That's something.
[00:41:07] Speaker A: And most of its bones have cracks showing on them.
[00:41:11] Speaker D: I mean, I don't really have much that I can do other than just.
[00:41:13] Speaker A: Keep Eldridge blasting the plight of the warlock.
[00:41:17] Speaker D: So I just kept blasting. That's 17 and that is eleven force damage. And can I, like, fish around in my bag for my sending stone that connects to my mom?
[00:41:34] Speaker A: Yeah. You found a sending stone?
[00:41:35] Speaker B: Mom, I love you.
[00:41:37] Speaker D: Kind of, yes.
I mean, I've just know Sternheim might be flattened, but you should probably let somebody in the capital know what's going on here, just in case.
[00:41:49] Speaker B: Boulain, mom fighting a dragon.
[00:41:52] Speaker D: But don't worry, fighting a dragon, probably going to die.
Bbl, question mark.
[00:42:00] Speaker B: Okay. Boulain is going to cast sacred flame on the dragon.
[00:42:04] Speaker A: Good news. The dragon rolled really, really bad.
[00:42:08] Speaker D: Good.
[00:42:08] Speaker A: And so he almost made it, but didn't.
[00:42:11] Speaker B: Excellent.
I'll take it.
That's eight. Eight radiant damage. And then she'll hit it with a spiritual weapon for twelve.
[00:42:22] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:42:24] Speaker B: All right. And that's another twelve force damage.
[00:42:27] Speaker A: The dragon's turn. It picks up a house and then proceeds to just swing it through the crowd.
[00:42:34] Speaker B: Oh, my God.
[00:42:36] Speaker D: It wasn't the house I was in, is it?
[00:42:40] Speaker A: We should roll and fight because I.
[00:42:41] Speaker D: Was kind of imagining I'm like peeking out through the hole I flew through.
[00:42:47] Speaker A: I'm going to roll a D 20 to see if it happened to be the house you're in, Creighton. All right, he has already smashed two houses. His reach is far enough. He had basically three houses to choose from. Actually, I'm going to roll a d six one and a two. It's the house you're in. It's not the house you're in, Creighton.
[00:43:05] Speaker D: Oh, good. Maybe I should get out of this.
[00:43:07] Speaker A: The house next to you lifts off the ground and swings through the crowd. The only person for which this attack actually may matter is Xeris. Xeris. That's a nat one, my friend.
[00:43:20] Speaker C: Yay.
[00:43:21] Speaker A: A house goes over your head and then proceeds to destroy everything around him.
[00:43:29] Speaker B: Oh, man.
[00:43:30] Speaker C: I chop a hole through it as it comes towards me.
[00:43:34] Speaker A: Okay, I'll accept that.
13 peons and six militia members die.
[00:43:42] Speaker B: That's all the rest of the peasants, wasn't it?
[00:43:44] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:43:45] Speaker D: Okay, I'm definitely going to have some survivors guilt from that one if I make it through this.
[00:43:52] Speaker A: There are still some militiamen shooting who weren't in house range when the house swept through the crowd like a bowling ball and exploded. Xeris, it's your turn.
[00:44:03] Speaker C: I'm going to attack it.
[00:44:06] Speaker D: All this because we killed some dwarves.
[00:44:10] Speaker B: Bad to fuck with the fairies. I mean, to be fair, I did.
[00:44:13] Speaker C: Not credit, but I did manage with my reckless attack advantage to roll two fours on the D. That's okay. I still hit because I have a plus six.
[00:44:26] Speaker B: Oh, good.
[00:44:27] Speaker A: Perfect.
[00:44:28] Speaker C: So I hit a ten. That gives us again. Wow, this radiant dies just on fire. Eight radiant.
[00:44:34] Speaker D: Good, we need it.
[00:44:36] Speaker C: Okay, 20 slashing.
[00:44:39] Speaker A: That's good.
[00:44:40] Speaker C: I mean, it's three d, six damage on top of that.
[00:44:42] Speaker A: Okay, surviving militia members, fire. Only one of them manages to connect.
Oh, God. Okay, well, every little bit helps, right?
[00:44:52] Speaker B: He's shaken.
[00:44:53] Speaker D: Okay.
[00:44:53] Speaker B: He just saw his buddies get swept away by a house.
[00:44:58] Speaker A: Yeah, one of the militiamen actually, who rolls a nat one on his attack, actually just turns and runs.
He is not being effective and he's about to die. Gives up and goes. The rogues, however, are undaunted.
[00:45:12] Speaker C: Oh, God.
[00:45:13] Speaker A: They roll dog shit, though. Okay, only one of them connects for 15 damage.
[00:45:19] Speaker D: At least it's easy to hit. That's the one saving grace you've got.
[00:45:23] Speaker B: I mean, ten is better than a poke in the eye or 15 is better than a poke in the eye.
[00:45:28] Speaker A: Party has done 500 damage to the dragon God. His back leg has fallen off, half of his other wing has now collapsed, and most of his bones look broken, but it's still going. Creden.
[00:45:44] Speaker D: All right, I will activate my sending stone. And is this still a thing in five e that you can do, like, six words?
[00:45:51] Speaker A: 25 with sending.
[00:45:52] Speaker D: Mom, there's a bone dragon attacking. Sternheim. Send health. Then I'm going to fire an eldritch blast.
[00:45:59] Speaker A: She responds with run away.
I'll be there soon.
[00:46:06] Speaker D: No, we get to meet Creedon's mom.
[00:46:09] Speaker B: If we don't die.
[00:46:10] Speaker D: I got a. Sorry, my brain just forgot how to do math. 23 to hit.
[00:46:15] Speaker B: That hits and that will. Oh.
[00:46:17] Speaker D: Minimum damage. I hate to see it. Five force damage. And I am going to run out of the house and flop into the tall grass again.
[00:46:26] Speaker A: That's good. Back into the tall grass.
Boulain.
[00:46:33] Speaker B: Boulain's going to do the sacred flame spiritual weapon combo again. So he's got to do a deck save.
[00:46:38] Speaker A: He makes that.
[00:46:39] Speaker B: Oh, jerk. All right, the spiritual weapon is a.
[00:46:44] Speaker A: Just tell you he has a plus seven to that save. So when he doesn't make it, it's surprising.
[00:46:50] Speaker B: It's surprising. Right? 22 to hit.
[00:46:52] Speaker A: Spiritual weapon does. 22 to hit. That hits.
[00:46:54] Speaker B: Four plus five is. Nine force damage.
[00:46:56] Speaker A: Dragon's turn. Zero. She's the only one in Malay, man.
[00:46:59] Speaker B: Oh, no.
[00:46:59] Speaker C: That's all right.
I also attacked recklessly.
[00:47:03] Speaker A: I'm going to go ahead and just roll these one at a time. First attack hits you for 17 damage.
[00:47:11] Speaker B: Oh, my God.
[00:47:12] Speaker C: All right.
What's that? Nine.
[00:47:16] Speaker A: Eight.
[00:47:16] Speaker C: Cool. All right.
[00:47:17] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:47:18] Speaker C: I'm down.
[00:47:18] Speaker A: Dragon then saw Creden running into the grass and the three rogues out in the grass are actually pretty good. So it's going to pick a house up and throw it in the direction of Creedon and the three rogues. And probably Belain is out here as well with the rogues. So I need a dexterity saving throw from Belain, Creedon and all the rogues.
[00:47:45] Speaker D: Oh, this one's for all the marvels.
[00:47:48] Speaker B: 13.
[00:47:50] Speaker D: Oh, God.
Seven.
[00:47:53] Speaker A: Okie dokie.
[00:47:54] Speaker B: Is that two failures?
How bad?
[00:48:01] Speaker A: Everybody but one of the rogues takes 22 damage as a house falls on you.
[00:48:07] Speaker D: I had four.
I'm out. Nap time. I would have been better in the house.
[00:48:17] Speaker A: Well, there was a 50 50 shot that the house he threw is the one you were in.
[00:48:20] Speaker D: It would have ended.
[00:48:21] Speaker A: You might have been worse off in the house. Here, I'll roll a d six to find out. Yeah, you would have been way worse off in the house.
That is the dragon's turn. Creedon death saving throw, please.
[00:48:34] Speaker B: Sadie would have been with her. And if she went unconscious, she would deliver that. Spare the dying cantrip. It won't wake you up. It'll stabilize you.
[00:48:44] Speaker D: Did Sadie get hit by that?
[00:48:47] Speaker A: On Boulain's turn, Sadie will deliver that spell.
[00:48:50] Speaker D: I'll still roll my save. That was a four. That's a failure, baby.
[00:48:56] Speaker A: Sadie is going to need to roll a perception check, though, because there is a house on her and I'm in.
[00:49:01] Speaker B: Tall girl.
[00:49:03] Speaker D: There's probably a good amount of blood, though.
[00:49:08] Speaker B: That's a 17.
[00:49:10] Speaker A: End of the round, there are still three militia men and one rogue able to shoot one of the militia men's hits and one of the rogues hits the two of them together, do 25 damage and at the end of the round the dragon has taken 539 damage.
[00:49:29] Speaker B: Fuck.
[00:49:30] Speaker A: The back half of the dragon has broken off. It is now a flailing front half of a torso, but it is still coming at you, Belain. By the way, it is also your turn.
[00:49:41] Speaker B: Okay. Boulain is still awake.
So two of the rogues are.
Damn. And Zuris is out.
[00:49:53] Speaker A: Yep.
[00:49:54] Speaker B: Creedon's out.
[00:49:55] Speaker A: If you run forward, you can get into healing word range.
[00:49:58] Speaker B: I don't have a spell slot. I don't have a spell slot for it.
[00:50:02] Speaker A: Well, bummer.
[00:50:03] Speaker B: Yeah. I have cantrips. That's it. I can keep people from dying, but I can't actually heal them right now.
Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck. Fuck. Oh, I still have a healing potion. How far away is Xeris?
[00:50:16] Speaker A: Through a dragon, about 90ft.
[00:50:19] Speaker B: God damn it.
Shit. Fuck. Damn it. She casts spare the dying on one of the rogues.
[00:50:26] Speaker A: Okay, that's a bonus action.
[00:50:28] Speaker B: And then she's. Well, that's going to be her action. And then she's going to do the spiritual weapon attack.
[00:50:32] Speaker A: Okie dokie.
[00:50:34] Speaker B: And she's pretty sure she's about to die.
All right, that's a 22 to hit.
[00:50:41] Speaker A: That'll hit.
[00:50:42] Speaker B: And six plus five is eleven force damage. And then she braces herself.
[00:50:48] Speaker A: Your raven crushes the skull of the dragon.
Forehead points to spare. And its gigantic upper torso falls about 3ft from you.
[00:51:01] Speaker B: She just goes, yeah.
[00:51:16] Speaker A: So you are able to run around stabilizing everyone.
[00:51:22] Speaker B: She's going to go to Xeris and pour a healing potion down his throat and force him to.
[00:51:27] Speaker D: You had healing potions?
[00:51:28] Speaker B: I had one. Apparently, I had one.
[00:51:33] Speaker A: I think Xeris has a healing spell.
[00:51:35] Speaker C: We got it. I do.
I will cure credent.
[00:51:41] Speaker B: Yes. You need to go cure Creedon. I need to go see to a lot of dead people.
[00:51:48] Speaker C: Six to you, Creedon.
[00:51:51] Speaker A: But good news.
Unless you want to turn around and go fight some centaurs, you're probably safe.
[00:51:57] Speaker D: Fuck those guys. I might want to fight the fuck.
[00:52:01] Speaker B: The fucking centaurs, dude. Bunch of chicken shit cowards.
[00:52:04] Speaker D: But first I want to cry.
[00:52:06] Speaker B: So Boulaine's pretty exhausted. But she goes to the peasants and she starts arranging bodies in the field and blessing them, starts going around and doing her job.
[00:52:16] Speaker A: Okay. Yeah. You have 19 bodies to handle.
[00:52:19] Speaker D: Creedon would like to watch you do this, actually.
[00:52:23] Speaker B: She says you can help if you like.
[00:52:26] Speaker D: Oh, I'd love to help.
[00:52:27] Speaker B: She gives you some of the ointments and undulants and things like that to help her with, like, dabbing foreheads.
[00:52:33] Speaker A: So the fight from start to finish was honestly less than a minute.
And the dragon only had about four or 5 minutes of time to smash part of the town. So within about 10 minutes, you see militiamen who were off duty, obviously, like they're still pulling on armor, come running up. There's a lot of gawkers who didn't flee town fast enough. And now come out to look at the giant skeleton. Creedon. About 45 minutes from when you made your call, there is a flash of light in the middle of Sternheim. And there are seven paladins from Astragal. Oh, shit.
[00:53:13] Speaker D: I forgot to tell my mom that we beat it.
[00:53:16] Speaker C: I mean, that just happened.
[00:53:18] Speaker D: Yeah. The town is going to still need aid. Maybe send some builders.
[00:53:22] Speaker A: One of them appears to be your mom.
[00:53:24] Speaker D: Oh, God.
[00:53:25] Speaker B: We get to meet Creedon's mom.
[00:53:28] Speaker D: Honestly, I think Creedon runs up and hugs her and starts crying.
[00:53:33] Speaker A: Your mom says, it's okay, baby. We're here now.
[00:53:35] Speaker D: They died because of me. I told them to help and they all died.
[00:53:39] Speaker A: But look at how many people you saved. Okay, we'll get to the bottom of this.
[00:53:43] Speaker D: She just slumps into her mom's chest.
[00:53:46] Speaker A: Xeris.
Six elite paladins from the church of divine mercy show up. Actually, five of them are from the church of divine mercy. One of them is a wizard from Church of the luminous, one who apparently cast a teleportation circle to get them here. They were not fast enough, but you will get laid on hands to full hit points.
[00:54:10] Speaker C: That's appreciated, brother.
[00:54:11] Speaker D: Could I also get some of that secret sauce?
[00:54:16] Speaker A: Mama can heal you.
[00:54:18] Speaker D: Thank you, mommy. For the record, I had no intention that they would get here in time to aid the fight. But it's more so, like if we all died, there's a dragon rampaging around. Somebody needed to know about it.
[00:54:32] Speaker A: It was a close fight.
[00:54:33] Speaker B: That was a close call, man.
[00:54:36] Speaker D: That is not what I thought we were going to do when we went in there.
[00:54:43] Speaker B: Bolaine, when she looks up from her work and meets and greets, the paladins will say, I would suggest grinding all of those bones into dust.
[00:54:52] Speaker A: Yeah, we'll get on that right now. I guess you're the priest of.
[00:55:00] Speaker B: Yes, yes. My name is Boulain.
[00:55:04] Speaker A: We will do as the silent judge commands, and they begin handling the remains exactly how you told them to.
[00:55:10] Speaker B: Does Creden's mom look like her?
[00:55:12] Speaker A: It's a good question. What does Creedon's mom look like?
[00:55:15] Speaker D: I think Creighton has definitely dyed her hair black. So probably like, I imagine her mother having light brown hair would probably have some similar features.
Now I have to think about which one of my parents actually, I think no, because I'm thinking about only one of my parents would be biological, potentially. And I think my mom that wasn't the priest is probably the one who gave me the genes. I think probably I don't look terribly much like her.
[00:55:46] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:55:47] Speaker D: But through context clues, you could gather that I hugging and crying this woman and calling her mom.
[00:55:52] Speaker B: Is she dressed like a cleric?
[00:55:54] Speaker A: Yeah, she's wearing divine robes, but they are definitely covering a hastily domed set of armor.
[00:56:01] Speaker B: She will introduce herself to this other priest who has shown up and say, my name is Boulain. I serve the silent judge.
[00:56:08] Speaker A: Boulain. Yes, I've heard you were working with my daughter. Thank you so much.
[00:56:14] Speaker B: You are mother?
[00:56:15] Speaker A: Yes, yes.
[00:56:17] Speaker B: It is an honor to meet you.
[00:56:19] Speaker A: It is an honor to meet you. If you'll excuse me, I need to both thank and scold Ziris.
[00:56:27] Speaker D: Oh, yeah.
[00:56:28] Speaker B: Ma'am, if you do not mind, I will come along.
[00:56:35] Speaker D: Mothers. Xeris has saved me a lot of times. Be gentle.
[00:56:41] Speaker B: This is quite true. This was a problem that was beyond any of us and erupted in our faces.
[00:56:47] Speaker A: Not to worry. I am only a little irrational right now.
So she walks up and says, sir Ziris Paladin of sister truth. Bishop, you have my thank you. And in the future, if a similar situation can be avoided, I would appreciate it. And with that, she gives you a very big hug.
[00:57:11] Speaker C: I awkwardly accept the hug and do not put my arms around her. I'm just standing there in parade rest.
[00:57:20] Speaker B: Boulain's behind her, and she's like, hug.
[00:57:28] Speaker D: Turns to divine mercy is very touching.
[00:57:31] Speaker C: Around. He's like, just, yeah, they're there.
[00:57:46] Speaker A: And that is our show today. If you listen carefully, you can hear my quiet screams of panic and desperation through the whole episode. Dungeon mastering with a straight face is not always easy. Special thanks Todd Ferguson of my pet machine for our tunes, and Julie at elaborate flight of fancy for our logo. Also thanks to author John Tara, who published the original Sternheim in DND lore in the 1990s.
Let's meet Creighton's mom next time on carrots and suffering the DND odyssey.
