Episode Transcript
[00:00:30] Speaker A: Welcome to carrots and suffering A-D-D odyssey. I am Nate, your dungeon master, professional cat herder, and many other things. I have been flaky the last few weeks because Valheim and Frosthaven, that's a computer game about dead vikings in a board game that mimics all the least fun aspects of d d. And yet is somehow very compelling. Have consumed all my time. But luckily, we record far in advance, and so I can goof off. Don't forget to leave us a rating and review. And with that, let's get into it. Last time on carrots and suffering, Creighton was given a warning by her patron that she was again on a collision course with another warlock.
[00:01:11] Speaker B: I think that Creighton will get up and go to the windowsill, and the.
[00:01:14] Speaker A: Sunflower says, oh, you're awake.
[00:01:17] Speaker C: Ish.
[00:01:18] Speaker A: I need a favor from you, Creighton.
[00:01:22] Speaker B: I'm listening.
[00:01:23] Speaker A: You are about to encounter another one of my special followers. Dread zero, the Emu investigator. A few words, has asked Creighton out on a date. And Creighton planned date number two.
[00:01:35] Speaker B: So I was thinking that we could have a breakfast picnic together. And I'm taking us to a spot where? Nearby. I've hidden a gift for you. And I want you to find it, because I know you're extremely good at investigating, and I am probably not the best at covering my tracks. And I kind of want to see what you can do.
[00:01:55] Speaker A: And then our heroes went to trial. Zyrus as judge, Boulain as a witness, and Creighton as the prosecuting attorney.
[00:02:02] Speaker D: As all parties are arrived, we can begin. We will be here to determine the guilt of mayor Val for various crimes while leading Sternheim. Sternheim for various crimes while leading Sternheim.
[00:02:24] Speaker A: Zirius looks at his hand.
[00:02:28] Speaker B: We are professional and qualified at our jobs. This is a kangaroo court. We are not courtroom people.
[00:02:38] Speaker D: So I will ask the prosecution to start with the various crimes that have been discovered and the argument of why he is guilty.
[00:02:51] Speaker B: There is substantial evidence to prove that he has done great harm to the city of Sternheim, some of its residents, and also to the sintar peoples that live just outside of Sternheim. He has been planning to cause unrest with these centaurs, resulting in some citizens of Sternheim getting killed. And he also went into places that brought about great danger to the people of Sternheim and cost many lives in the partial destruction of this entire town. Today, I plan on proving that by speaking with some of the people that have worked with him. And then allow the centaurs to take justice as they see fit.
[00:03:34] Speaker C: Or.
[00:03:34] Speaker B: Well, I suppose, as our great judge sees fit.
[00:03:37] Speaker C: Our great, neutral, unbiased judge.
I found that they had each been murdered with a short sword. They were each stabbed multiple times.
The height of the wounds suggested a humanoid assailant.
[00:03:55] Speaker D: Mayor Val, this court finds you guilty of crimes against eight of the ten gods. So let's go through them. You're guilty of inciting violence by hiring mercenaries, even though they are citizens and townsfolk, of hiring them against the town and their own better interests. You are guilty of hiring inept individuals to do such a job, placing them at more risk than is appropriate, and danger beyond their ability. You have admitted to consorting with fairies, though I will remind you, these centaur are citizens, but other fairies as well, by your own admission. And either you were acting in your own interest and seeking lost gold like some obsessed treasure hunter, or you were cursed by some external alien force. Either way, if you're too selfish or too weak to lead, those are the only two options, given what you've said. So against the radiant one, your leadership is inept, and you have proven yourself to have been criminally negligent as the leader of this town. Against the silent judge, you were encouraging people to die before their time. Aka murder. Or inciting and requesting murder on your own behalf, for your own good. Against the whispering shepherd, you have actively worked against the prosperity of this settlement. Of course, as a follower of sister truth, myself. Your crimes, of causing chaos and destabilizing this settlement and these Citizens is heinous, beyond bound. Brother ambition, you are guilty of overreaching with your ambition, of trying to get things that you should not, and simply being inept at it for one reason or another. Divine mercy. You are guilty of the crime of preying on those who are devoted to you and believing that their devotion to you will help you get through the crimes that you're trying to commit. With divine hammer, you are guilty of draining the region of creativity via death and via attacks on its own citizens that can be productive members of the society. And lastly, you're guilty of crimes against mask.
[00:06:26] Speaker A: Because you're here.
Let's get into it.
Hi, I'm Nate, and I will be your dungeon master.
[00:06:41] Speaker C: Hi, I'm Mandy. I play boulain, the death cleric. Not ready to go home yet.
[00:06:45] Speaker B: Hi, I'm Claire. I play Creden, the warlock of love, who did pretty well on one of her first dates.
[00:06:53] Speaker D: Hi, I'm Robert. I play Zerus, I guess, the zealot of law and money.
[00:07:04] Speaker B: I play Xeris, Mr. Krabs.
[00:07:07] Speaker A: Mr. Krabs.
[00:07:12] Speaker D: I am Mr. Krabs.
[00:07:16] Speaker A: Tanglebeard says I need a favor. Not a favor. I have a new job. So, while the trial was commencing, I received a new summons. Apparently, there have been enough dragon sightings on the river along the locks that the traders are quite nervous, and the coin lords have called for a military response. In three weeks, if that dragon is still there, three dozen naval paladins are going to board ships and try to drive it away from the river. I am deeply concerned that they will suffer extreme losses. So the job that I am asking you to do is a very dangerous one. I need you to ensure they succeed.
[00:08:04] Speaker C: In three weeks.
[00:08:05] Speaker A: When they go in three weeks, I would prefer if nobody died fighting a dragon. When you're done, please escort them back to Turtle Bay.
[00:08:14] Speaker D: Do we know how big or old this dragon is?
[00:08:18] Speaker A: No. Sightings are a little bit unclear. We have been told it is black in color and much larger than a horse. That's unfortunately the best we got.
[00:08:27] Speaker D: Is this the one that the foul lizard men seem to revere?
[00:08:32] Speaker A: I don't know anything about that, but it seems real likely.
[00:08:35] Speaker B: Wait, was that not a job he gave us?
[00:08:37] Speaker D: Yeah, it wasn't a job to.
[00:08:40] Speaker A: There is a kill the dragon in the swamps job that no one has been given because the lethality rate was so high.
[00:08:49] Speaker C: That was one that his assistant offered us.
[00:08:52] Speaker D: Yeah, but is that the same dragon is my question.
[00:08:55] Speaker A: I believe so. And again, this job is not to kill it. It is to ensure success by the paladins driving it off the river. If it dies, great. The goal of the mission is the least amount of death.
[00:09:09] Speaker C: What would I roll to know about black dragons? Or this dragon in particular?
[00:09:13] Speaker A: Arcana.
[00:09:15] Speaker C: Oh, natural 20, which is a 21.
[00:09:17] Speaker A: Okay, so black dragons are particularly cruel creatures that frequent swamps. I will tell you more about them when you encounter the dragon. But you know that it has acid breath that could easily boil people alive in large quantities. You know that its scales are incredibly hard, and given the rough size description, you're thinking young adult to older juvenile. So not nearly as big or as dangerous as the dragon skeleton you thrashed, but with a caustic breath that could milk you.
[00:09:53] Speaker C: So even trade.
[00:09:55] Speaker B: Really?
Yeah, but we didn't do so good at avoiding death with the last one.
[00:10:01] Speaker C: I know.
[00:10:04] Speaker B: Is three weeks enough time to run back into the capitol and gear up?
[00:10:09] Speaker A: Well, there is three weeks, Boulain says.
[00:10:12] Speaker C: Is there a reason that the remainder of the sharp edge of the pub could not be of assistance to us? Could we be a team of five.
[00:10:20] Speaker A: Yeah. You know what? I don't have a more pressing job at the moment. I will send Max and dread with you, Creed.
[00:10:27] Speaker B: And panics.
[00:10:28] Speaker A: Does the dark arbiters have a appointed leader? I believe that's me. Then Zerus, I move these two men to your command.
[00:10:39] Speaker D: Very well. We will collect them in the morning at the tavern. Well, afternoon. I'll give a wink towards Creedon.
[00:10:50] Speaker B: Celebratory drink of pubany one. Yeah, let's go.
[00:10:54] Speaker A: I'm down. Yeah, let's go. The townspeople head off, kind of solemnly, but as far as you could tell, they started off unwilling to believe mayor Val was the problem. And they are leaving believing justice is served. So you have succeeded in returning some semblance of community togetherness through this trial. Grimble tanglebeard seems thrilled.
[00:11:20] Speaker C: Is he paying us your money, please.
[00:11:23] Speaker A: As the trial ends, things begin to settle down. The villagers sort of clean up the trial location. The centaurs go their separate ways.
Two paladins escort Val away and you head to the inn. You are maybe 5ft from the inn when Xeris, and only Xeris, hears the following Xeris. Vecna is on the move. Get to Turtle Bay immediately. Allies of the death God of secrets gather power. Trust no one. The sage.
[00:12:04] Speaker C: Boolain gets up to the door and realizes Zuris stopped and looks around and says, what is wrong?
[00:12:11] Speaker D: Sorry, I missed just a little bit. Vecna's on the move. Allies of the death God of secrets are on the move. Trust no one. Was there more?
[00:12:20] Speaker A: Get to Turtle Bay.
[00:12:22] Speaker D: Yes. Right. The most important part.
[00:12:28] Speaker B: The meat of the message.
[00:12:29] Speaker D: I don't know what we're supposed to do about this, but apparently didn't say what to do.
[00:12:37] Speaker A: I missed the middle sentence.
[00:12:40] Speaker D: Did I recognize the voice or who the message is from?
[00:12:43] Speaker C: I mean, you signed off the sage.
[00:12:45] Speaker D: Oh, there was more to the message I needed to hear.
[00:12:51] Speaker C: Another important.
[00:12:56] Speaker D: Well, I got a message in my head. Vekna's on the move. He said that the allies of that death vestige are aiding him or something. We need to get to Turtle Bay. And the sage says we should trust no one. Oh, well, so we should probably head south.
[00:13:15] Speaker B: We have three weeks until we need to be in the swamps.
This is true, although, I mean, I haven't been that many places in my life, but I've heard the turtle bay is pretty rough. What kind of things should I be expecting there?
[00:13:34] Speaker C: Boulain opens the indoor and gestures people inside and says, I will buy you a drink and tell you about it.
[00:13:42] Speaker D: All right, fine with that.
[00:13:45] Speaker C: We sit with our drinks and she says, well, Turtle Bay has a lot of both illicit and illicit activity going on.
She looks at Zuris in particular and says, it is a really good town for taking very long walks.
[00:14:03] Speaker D: All right.
[00:14:04] Speaker B: My brother once told me that everybody that goes there gets stabbed.
[00:14:07] Speaker C: Well, I did not get stabbed until I left it and started palling around with you two.
She says, pirates are not so bad, really. Once you get to know them, the right ones stay away from the wrong ones. Get to know the right ones.
They're actually pretty decent people.
[00:14:28] Speaker D: Is it a town of pirates?
[00:14:31] Speaker C: Not entirely. I mean, I have never been a pirate, and I lived there for 60 years.
[00:14:37] Speaker B: Like, frikers was kind of like a pirate, right?
[00:14:40] Speaker A: He was a bit.
[00:14:43] Speaker B: He was okay.
[00:14:44] Speaker C: He was a bandit. He was okay.
Not as bad as we thought he was.
Boulane shrugs and she says, I like pirates because they have a tendency to mind their own business and not ask too many questions.
That is something I can respect and enjoy having that respected in return.
Well, mask is very popular in Turtle Bay. That should tell you about the vibe of the place a little bit.
[00:15:17] Speaker D: I might need to buy a hymnal then.
[00:15:22] Speaker C: Does mask have a hymnal?
[00:15:24] Speaker D: Probably not in a local shop.
[00:15:27] Speaker B: Zerus kind of stinks of the law. Do you think that they'll take very kindly to him? Do we need to dress him up a little?
[00:15:37] Speaker C: Elaine says, the thing is, no, he will be fine if he relaxes.
[00:15:45] Speaker B: Impossible.
[00:15:46] Speaker C: If he acts like he is relaxing, he will be fine.
[00:15:51] Speaker D: I think I can find a way to relax.
[00:15:54] Speaker C: The main thing to understand, though, Xeris, is there is a tangled web of networks that runs through Turtle Bay.
And when you start pulling on strands of those webs, you find that they are connected to all of the other webs.
[00:16:12] Speaker A: All right.
[00:16:13] Speaker D: It's good to prepare me.
[00:16:16] Speaker B: Sounds like it might be a good idea to let you do some of the talking.
Or a lot of it.
[00:16:22] Speaker C: You two should know that I was not prepared to go back there quite yet. I am avoiding someone.
[00:16:28] Speaker B: Should you tell us what they look like so that we can know to avoid them?
[00:16:35] Speaker C: He is a half elf. His name is Taeman. He has strawberry blonde hair. He is rakish, charming.
He's also a grifter. And I do not know if he is still there or not. So I would like to tread with care and keep a low profile.
[00:16:56] Speaker D: All right.
[00:16:57] Speaker B: Now, is this a they want to kill you sort of situation?
[00:17:03] Speaker C: No.
It is a we were once lovers, and I came to the point of wanting nothing to do with him.
And he left town. And recently he has returned and was looking for me.
[00:17:24] Speaker D: When you say he returned, you mean to Turtle Bay or to a town here?
[00:17:31] Speaker C: To Turtle Bay.
We broke up about three years ago, and he left town shortly after that.
[00:17:40] Speaker D: All right.
[00:17:41] Speaker B: I'll keep an eye out. And don't worry. I'm not going to try to set you back up together.
[00:17:45] Speaker C: I would very much appreciate it.
[00:17:51] Speaker A: Speaking of dread and Max, come into the inn. And Max sits down looking dejected, sort of a back bar stool.
[00:17:59] Speaker C: Billain will signal to the barkeeper for two more drinks.
[00:18:04] Speaker B: Now, there's a way better target for me to try to set up with.
[00:18:06] Speaker C: Someone.
[00:18:09] Speaker A: With drinks in hand. Max downs his first one and then just takes dreads from his hand and sips at says, you know, let's go sit over there with them. We got to figure out what's next. And Max stands up and sort of walks over and flops down, and dredd sits down next to him. And, um, when are we going to Turtle Bay?
[00:18:32] Speaker D: Why are you going to Turtle Bay?
[00:18:34] Speaker A: Until we find our third member in three weeks, we are assigned to you. And Turtle Bay is where we meet the Paladins before they go into the swamp. All right, so you want us to meet you there in three weeks?
[00:18:51] Speaker C: Well, we are heading there tomorrow. She looked at Zuris with a question.
[00:18:57] Speaker D: Well.
[00:19:00] Speaker A: So dread looks over at Max, and Max is like, yep, okay, cool. If we need to leave tomorrow, I'll go pack or.
[00:19:07] Speaker C: Well, I. She looks a little bit contrite, and she says, I realize I maybe should have asked the two of you before asking Tanglebeard if they could join us, but Max just looks so pitiful.
[00:19:22] Speaker B: He's just sitting right.
[00:19:25] Speaker C: Left. I thought he left to go pack his shit.
[00:19:27] Speaker A: Sure. He gets up and goes to pack his shit.
[00:19:31] Speaker C: She wouldn't have said that to his.
Have said that to his face before you say that.
[00:19:38] Speaker A: That's fine.
[00:19:41] Speaker B: It's a good point. I imagine dread isn't the best at comforting. That doesn't seem like his thing.
[00:19:47] Speaker C: And also, it seemed like maybe you, Creedon, would enjoy having dread with us.
[00:19:54] Speaker B: I don't know.
[00:19:55] Speaker C: All right, well, I apologize. I should have asked before asking Tanglebeard.
[00:20:00] Speaker B: But, I mean, I'm fine with it. It's fine.
[00:20:03] Speaker C: But if we are going to battle Vecna and his minions, I do not see a disadvantage of having two extra people on our side.
[00:20:12] Speaker B: Agreed. If there's any investigation that needs done, dread would be very helpful to have along.
[00:20:19] Speaker C: This is quite true.
[00:20:20] Speaker D: My biggest concern is probably just more people. Makes the secret harder to keep.
[00:20:24] Speaker C: Well, they do not need to know that we belong to a thing. They just need to know that we are after a vestige and very illegal death. God. Sure, I know that our friends from the cave were maybe going to head to Turtle Bay, but perhaps they have already headed that way.
[00:20:44] Speaker D: Hopefully we can get a few more allies while we're there.
[00:20:47] Speaker C: I definitely know some people we could, if not, depend on to help us with the fight. At least give us a maid while we are there.
[00:20:54] Speaker D: Good.
[00:20:55] Speaker C: My granddaughter is the captain of my late wife's ship. She and her crew, they still think of me as family, so they would help us. Admiral Lunari is someone I could dare to call a friend. A personal friend. So we might be able to solicit his help.
[00:21:12] Speaker D: Okay. You know a lot of people in Turtle Bay.
[00:21:16] Speaker C: I have lived there for 60 years.
[00:21:18] Speaker D: How long ago?
[00:21:19] Speaker C: Well, I left and met up with you in Tuscan where we were doing clerical work, and then we teamed up.
[00:21:26] Speaker D: I see. So not long ago.
[00:21:28] Speaker C: Not long ago, what, like a month ago? Out of character?
[00:21:33] Speaker A: Two months, maybe.
[00:21:34] Speaker C: Two months.
[00:21:34] Speaker D: I see. For some reason, I thought that was your more distant past.
[00:21:39] Speaker C: Oh, no, I quite liked living there. I was sorry to leave it.
[00:21:44] Speaker B: Peyton's just sitting there with her brow furrowed, contemplating the fact that you have a granddaughter.
[00:21:51] Speaker C: About your age.
[00:21:55] Speaker D: All right.
[00:21:56] Speaker C: Did your message say anything about what Vegna is up to?
[00:22:00] Speaker D: The vestige is on the move and that they're gathering allies, so we need to get there.
[00:22:06] Speaker C: All right, well, so we have no idea what to expect. Really.
[00:22:10] Speaker B: Creighton kind of lowers her voice and whispers a little. Aren't we pretty sure that he messed with our memories? Like, do we really want to do what he tells us to do?
[00:22:17] Speaker C: She has a valid point.
[00:22:20] Speaker B: I don't want to lose days again.
I'm a little skeptical about this.
[00:22:26] Speaker D: I don't want to lose days again either. But I also don't want a vestige of some evil power wandering around the world, gaining allies and building a base.
So if it comes between my own well being or the well being of Astragar, I'm going to go ahead and side with Astragar.
[00:22:53] Speaker C: Belain sits back and looks thoughtful. And she says, you know, there are stories about Vecna that he challenged the silent judge. And the silent judge prevailed. I wonder why she would let him run around now.
[00:23:08] Speaker D: Let's. A very strong word to use. I rather would think of it as us knowing what this Vecna character is doing. Is the silent judge in her way, guiding us as to what we should do?
[00:23:23] Speaker C: I suppose that could be.
[00:23:25] Speaker B: All I'm saying is that there seems to be more at play here than what's just on the surface. And I know she looks at Zerus, that we can be a little axe first, ask questions later. If we have the opportunity to gather some more information, it may behoove us to do it to make sure that we aren't being played for fools.
[00:23:47] Speaker D: Sure.
[00:23:48] Speaker C: I would just suggest axe first and ask questions later is just not a good method to go about Turtle Bay. There will always be more people with their own axes, all right? And they do not necessarily need to be concerned with your fight to jump in on your fight.
[00:24:03] Speaker D: I gotcha.
[00:24:04] Speaker C: They are rambunctious in Turtle Bay.
[00:24:07] Speaker D: I get that.
[00:24:08] Speaker C: Well, she holds up her drink and she says, I do want to toast the two of you on the trial that just happened.
[00:24:14] Speaker D: Thank you. You as well. You held the stand wonderfully.
[00:24:21] Speaker C: All I did was say half of what I know.
[00:24:23] Speaker D: It's just you said the important half.
[00:24:25] Speaker B: We did great.
[00:24:26] Speaker A: You see chastity come down the steps looking put together, power suit in the form of her armor and a big bag over her back. Kind of walks up and says, hey, I'm going to go catch the paladins. We're heading down to hilock to dump Valrictus in the swamp. I'll see you all when I see you all.
[00:24:46] Speaker D: Sounds right.
[00:24:47] Speaker C: Safe travels. Chastity.
[00:24:48] Speaker B: A plate. Pantsuit. What a look.
[00:24:51] Speaker A: And she heads out.
[00:24:54] Speaker D: Maybe we should stop by Hilock.
[00:24:56] Speaker C: Why?
[00:24:56] Speaker D: Well, I was thinking we should stop somewhere to get gear. And then seeing her reminded me maybe Hilock's the place to do it.
[00:25:04] Speaker C: Do you think something is going on, siris?
[00:25:06] Speaker D: No, no, not more than usual. I think either we have to head north to find a proper shop or head south to Hilock before we get to Turtle Bay. Hilock's the next port of commerce, so if we need gear, equipment, or anything special, Hilock's gonna have to be the place to get it.
[00:25:25] Speaker B: I would definitely love to pick up some more health potions, given that we very much needed and used all that we had.
[00:25:31] Speaker C: Yes, indeed, that is a good point.
[00:25:33] Speaker B: I suspect if we're facing more vestiges, we may need them again.
[00:25:38] Speaker D: If the Paladins are leaving soon, maybe we should simply go gather dread and Max and all head down to Highlock together.
[00:25:46] Speaker C: I am going to suggest that we not go with the party that chastity is in when we have Max in our party.
[00:25:53] Speaker D: Why?
[00:25:54] Speaker B: Agreed. That's cruel.
[00:25:56] Speaker C: Because he is heartbroken, and his now ex girlfriend is with that group.
[00:26:02] Speaker D: I will side with your sensibilities.
[00:26:05] Speaker C: Let us just go in the morning.
[00:26:08] Speaker D: Very well.
[00:26:09] Speaker C: Give Max a night to get shit faced.
[00:26:23] Speaker A: In the morning, you folks can wake up and get a move on. Max is carrying, like, a bedroll and a tiny pack. Dread has an array of weird tools and stuff hooked to a backpack, and they're both waiting for you whenever you come down.
[00:26:41] Speaker B: Before leaving, Creden wants to just pop by her mom, wherever her mom is staying, and just give her a hug goodbye. Tell her thank you for answering her call.
[00:26:52] Speaker A: Yeah, your mom is pretty much staying in the church where she works at. So she gives you a hug and says, anytime, darling. If you ever find yourself in that level of danger again, you don't hesitate to call. I won't be angry or anything.
[00:27:09] Speaker B: Yeah, this would have been a lot harder without you. So I'm off to go get in more trouble.
[00:27:15] Speaker A: You win the violence, and I'll win the peace.
[00:27:22] Speaker B: Bye, mom.
[00:27:23] Speaker A: And she gives you another hug, and you notice she's pretty much all packed up, too. So as you leave, she heads out of town to the north. Tanglebeard takes over her office immediately and is going to finish the rebuilding. And you folks hit the road.
[00:27:37] Speaker D: Before we go, I do want to hit Tanglebeard's office and see if there's any kind of stipend or compensation for the long journey.
[00:27:44] Speaker A: He says, oh, Admiral Lunari is handling it. So I don't get down there, and he'll pay you.
[00:27:51] Speaker D: So there's nothing the coffers can offer me?
[00:27:53] Speaker A: Well, you are, I guess, doing plenty of work here. Just a second. Pulls a chest up and flips it open and flips through it and says, unfortunately, I'm using most of the available coinage to pay the workers right now. But he says, here, this should help. And he pulls out a couple of gems and hands them to you. They're small rubies.
[00:28:13] Speaker D: All right, good luck. We'll see you when we see you.
[00:28:17] Speaker A: Tanglebeard says, well, this was a very successful partnership so far. Once you get down to turtle pay, go ahead and have Max and dredd audition mercenaries. They'll find their new third. After you hopefully successfully repel the dragon off the river. We will back to business as usual. Report to Tusken whenever you're done with that. All right, we can do that.
[00:28:39] Speaker C: As we head out of town, Belain will do a sending spell. She's going to send a message to the admiral. Admiral Inari.
[00:28:49] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:28:50] Speaker C: It says, am arriving with four companions in about a week. Would like to meet in a safe.
[00:28:57] Speaker A: Space, get a response immediately that says report to my office. Your request will be granted.
[00:29:03] Speaker C: Okay, great.
[00:29:04] Speaker A: Who is going to roll me a survival check for our party?
[00:29:08] Speaker C: I get a three on survival.
[00:29:11] Speaker D: I get a nothing.
[00:29:13] Speaker B: Yeah, I'm no good at that.
[00:29:16] Speaker C: That's a 15.
[00:29:18] Speaker A: So the first day it's sunny, it's nice. There's no sign of monsters coming out of the thorns. You get to your sort of camp site. It's very close to the one you had last time where a chicken came out and sat on Creighton.
[00:29:33] Speaker C: We agreed we were never going to talk about that again.
[00:29:39] Speaker A: Considered the chicken ended up being fairly small potatoes.
Another survival role.
[00:29:45] Speaker B: Belain.
[00:29:49] Speaker C: It's a 14.
[00:29:50] Speaker A: Okay. You find a pretty good place to camp. I assume you'll post some watches. But it ends up being fairly quiet night and the morning is also pleasant. A little dewy on the grass lane. I need another survival roll for day two of travel to get to Palmville 13.
[00:30:08] Speaker C: It's going down by one every roll.
[00:30:11] Speaker A: You get to Palmville successfully with no encounters on the road. As you get into Palmville, there is a trade caravan preparing to leave north. They appeared to have stayed one night at the local inn. Palmville, you haven't been here in about three weeks. Is mostly rebuilt from the zombie catastrophe that besieged it. You do still see signs of damage. But it's rained a few times, the blood spots are gone, the body parts are burnt.
[00:30:42] Speaker C: The cemetery has all been put back together.
[00:30:46] Speaker A: Yeah, the cemetery looks like it's got a lot of fresh filled in graves. It's basically back to functional. Is there anything you want to do here or you just want to kick it right on through?
[00:30:58] Speaker C: Anything to do here or.
[00:30:59] Speaker D: Guess the only thing I can think of is see if that woman is around.
[00:31:04] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:31:05] Speaker A: Bella.
[00:31:06] Speaker B: Bella. Bella the barefoot painted jezebel.
[00:31:11] Speaker A: You know, Bella lives south of town so you'll pass her as you leave. And you know that she is rarely welcome in town. So you're probably not going to see her while you're in town.
[00:31:20] Speaker C: We need to make sure Max doesn't fall for her.
[00:31:24] Speaker B: She might not be like the other one that we met.
[00:31:28] Speaker C: Well, Bella was the one who was seducing all of the young men right.
[00:31:33] Speaker D: And left bare footprints or something.
[00:31:36] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:31:36] Speaker A: Unidentified beast footprints of considerable size.
[00:31:40] Speaker C: She did help us out in that zombie apocalypse. I think Boulain will go down to the crypt where we fought Vecna and she will spend a little bit of time in the old temple space.
[00:31:53] Speaker A: Okay?
[00:31:53] Speaker C: That's her thing.
[00:31:55] Speaker D: We resealed that.
[00:31:57] Speaker B: You have fun with that. I'm not going down there.
[00:32:00] Speaker A: You can go into the unsealed top portion, but you can't get down at the bottom anymore.
[00:32:05] Speaker C: Okay. She'll spend some time in that mausoleum or whatever it was.
[00:32:09] Speaker A: Roll me. Investigate.
[00:32:11] Speaker C: What the hell, Creed? And you used to love cemeteries.
[00:32:13] Speaker B: I'm going to have my cemetery picnic above ground.
[00:32:18] Speaker C: Oh, natural 20.
[00:32:20] Speaker A: Someone has been here. Someone performed a very thorough investigation around all of this stuff.
Pretty much everything has been handled in some way, shape or form, and they did it incredibly methodically.
[00:32:35] Speaker C: Who could that have been? Is anything out of place?
[00:32:39] Speaker A: No.
[00:32:40] Speaker C: Okay.
[00:32:40] Speaker A: You get the impression that they did not move the sarcophagus and go down.
[00:32:45] Speaker C: Okay.
[00:32:47] Speaker A: They wouldn't have been able to, not without some serious muscle that they apparently did not bring or did not try to disturb the dead.
[00:32:55] Speaker C: Okay, well, she will light some candles, and she's there with Sadie, and I guess they'll have a little bit of a vigil together.
[00:33:02] Speaker A: As you walk through town. Everybody greets Max. Max seems to be cheering up a little bit. Two days of marching seems to have given him some gusto back. So he greets people and is kind of back to his old self dread. Stands quietly in the back and just watches.
[00:33:18] Speaker D: I think I'll spend the evening at least doing the same thing, taking advantage of people in the tavern.
[00:33:25] Speaker A: Most of what's been happening now is the different hunters and trappers and farmers that surround Palmville have been coordinating to sort of travel in groups. Apparently there was a rash of undead animals that have been real problematic and not edible.
They are still doing that, although the number of undead sightings has basically stopped. So you get to hear people coordinating their travels for the next day. You want to stay in the inn and leave in the morning or head out tonight?
[00:33:57] Speaker B: I always prefer sleeping in an inn to camping.
[00:34:02] Speaker C: Well, if we spent most of a day getting here, I wouldn't mind staying in an inn.
[00:34:06] Speaker A: Okay. You can stay in the inn just fine.
[00:34:08] Speaker D: Is there a nice bed?
[00:34:10] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:34:12] Speaker D: I'll take it.
[00:34:14] Speaker C: Wait, you're sleeping like in an honest to God bed?
[00:34:17] Speaker B: What character development.
[00:34:20] Speaker C: There are barracks here, sir. You could sleep in the barracks and be as uncomfortable as fuck, but straw mattress for you.
[00:34:28] Speaker B: Down, comforter.
[00:34:29] Speaker A: You sleep well. You get up in the morning, and as you are leaving.
Gather round, apprentices. For all of the power of the sun to reveal this world as it is another governs the world. We do not truly understand the moon. It shifts in appearance. Its markings beg strange interpretations. Under the gaze of its waning light, the world takes on a magical hue that plays tricks upon the senses.
This is the power of cleverness and magic at work, the power of the luminous one. We who practice the arcane study that which was created by the luminous one in the heavens and passed to her chosen creations of the fay. From them, we humans learned a small portion of the secrets of the gods.
We learn magic. And in so we study the luminous one and the gifts she gave this world, capturing each unique speck of knowledge with her blessing. The luminous one does have true priests and priestesses in this world, for which she chooses and grants power. But they are rare, because the truth is, apprentices in this world, we need her more than she needs us. We might wield her fire and ice, but this is as a hammer wielded by a toddler.
There once was a child born under a strange moon colored blue as the clearest skies. Parents never wished to call attention to such a blessing, for the child would surely be strange. And this was very true.
The mind of this child was unlike mine and yours. It thought of nothing in a straightforward way. What is more, the child was blind. Power swelled inside of them and spilled forth with images no person had ever seen, with their eyes born of the mind of a person who had no eyes to see. The legends defy description in this tale, for who could imagine a world that exists in the mind of a single person?
At this time, there was a fay traveling the land, and in each town it would stop. It asked the villagers to show it a sight it had never seen before. And if they tried and failed, the fay left a curse.
But if they tried and succeeded, it would grant them a wish, a wish of their wildest dreams. The townspeople tried many things, rare plants, two headed goats. But each village was left with a magic curse and a fay that was unimpressed. When the fay came to the village of the child born under the blue moon, it asked again its question. And the people knew of this young person and their strange dreams that could call into reality things none had ever seen before. And they gathered this child, they brought the child to the fay, positively brimming with magical power. The child cast no spell and produced no images.
The child said simply, my powers are not for games.
The Fay this day saw many things they had never seen before. But the first was a creature of magic who would solve a problem by doing nothing, not for fear of a personal respect of the fay, nor compulsion of glamour. But because this task was simply too trivial, the fay understood that the game was over. They offered the child their wish. And the child's empty eyes offered no answer.
They turned and went home.
There was nothing this faye could offer that matches the splendor in the mind of this child.
No gift of sight or coin or magic could ever compare. The luminous one chose a champion that day and gave to this child their power and blessing. They grew to become a saint, known the world over for their clever use of magic in unconventional ways.
As I said, apprentices, the moon doesn't need us as much as we need her. But this child could do something none of us could do. And that was to show the world true magic. The magic of things we cannot see. And the cleverness to teach even the most versed and mystical powers a thing or two about this world we live in.
Go forth. My apprentices do not focus on the hottest fires or the coldest colds. Focus instead on the part of magic nobody has yet seen coming.
There is a man waiting by the door for someone. As you step out, he walks up to you.
[00:39:32] Speaker B: Can we help you?
[00:39:34] Speaker A: Yeah, I think you can. Actually.
Out of curiosity, we never really got the full story of how the zombie thing came to happen.
I don't suppose you know anything about that. Obviously you helped the city repel the zombies. We're really appreciative. But did you ever figure out why.
[00:39:59] Speaker C: The zombies were released?
[00:40:01] Speaker D: We were really appreciative. So you were.
[00:40:03] Speaker A: Yeah. No, I was here.
[00:40:05] Speaker D: You're a citizen of Palmville?
[00:40:07] Speaker A: I am, yeah. Friar Nicholas. But I am no longer a friar these days. I'm just a scholar.
[00:40:16] Speaker C: What were you a friar of?
[00:40:17] Speaker A: Well, once upon a time I was a rather ungifted supplicant to the luminous one. I tried very hard to master magic and in the end I ended up learning a lot about it and haven't been able to cast a spell my whole life.
[00:40:36] Speaker B: I like him.
[00:40:37] Speaker A: I'm a books person.
[00:40:38] Speaker C: I'm going to roll insight.
[00:40:40] Speaker A: Sure.
[00:40:40] Speaker C: Oh, another natural 20.
[00:40:42] Speaker A: He.
[00:40:42] Speaker C: I like this dice.
[00:40:43] Speaker A: Friar Nicholas is who he says he is. He's very bald. He's pretty old. Your insight tells you that he is highly suspicious. Because the thing that was od the day that the zombies came out and attacked everyone was that you were here. But he is trying really hard not to accuse you of anything. But your insight is definitely sufficient to know that he is concerned that you are bad.
[00:41:14] Speaker C: Lulain says we were sent by the highest authorities in Astragar. The temple of the radiant one to retrieve the rod of Astra, which was an artifact that had been housed here for a long time. When we came and retrieved it, we discovered the hard way that it had been safeguarding the town from the zombies.
[00:41:34] Speaker A: I see.
[00:41:35] Speaker D: Does this not remind you of that guy in Tuscan?
[00:41:40] Speaker C: The newspaper dude?
[00:41:41] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:41:43] Speaker C: Does he look anything like Samu?
[00:41:45] Speaker A: No.
[00:41:45] Speaker D: Super does not.
Not the face, but the questions.
[00:41:51] Speaker B: I don't think it's unreasonable for a townsperson to want to understand why this horrible thing happened to their town, especially if he's a bit of a scholar.
[00:41:59] Speaker A: Boulain, I need you to roll me. Persuasion.
[00:42:03] Speaker C: Can I get advantage because I'm telling the truth?
[00:42:06] Speaker A: No, that's a good role.
[00:42:08] Speaker C: That was an 18 plus five is 23.
[00:42:12] Speaker B: That's a good dice.
[00:42:13] Speaker C: Yeah. I'm liking this dice tonight. Knock on wood.
[00:42:17] Speaker A: Friar Nicholas basically nods and says, so it was unavoidable.
[00:42:23] Speaker C: If we had been armed with more knowledge ahead of time, perhaps it could have been avoided. But we simply did not have the.
[00:42:30] Speaker A: Hmm.
[00:42:31] Speaker C: We were merely told to come and get the artifact and deliver it back to Tuscan.
[00:42:35] Speaker A: I'm going to keep this story to myself because you seem like a good person who was in a bad situation, and I'm worried if the details get out, people will draw the opposite conclusion.
[00:42:52] Speaker C: We appreciate that.
[00:42:53] Speaker D: It's an interesting turn of phrase. Friend. Happy to know you as a friend.
[00:42:58] Speaker A: Oh, yes. Anytime. And if you find yourself in need of. I don't know it all, stop by the chapel. I'm usually there reading books.
[00:43:08] Speaker D: You still attend the chapel of luminous one?
[00:43:11] Speaker A: Well, the local chapel is managed to the whispering shepherd almost exclusively. So I attend whispering shepherd services every week and I read their books. There are a few luminous one texts in there. I know them by heart.
[00:43:26] Speaker D: Good. I hope your faith remains strong.
[00:43:29] Speaker A: Absolutely.
And you folks can head out of town.
[00:43:33] Speaker C: As we're walking, Boulain will walk with dread a little bit and say, did you and chastity and Max pass through Palmville?
[00:43:42] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:43:43] Speaker C: Did you investigate the crypt?
[00:43:46] Speaker A: Yep.
[00:43:47] Speaker C: All right.
[00:43:48] Speaker B: Find any good stuff?
[00:43:51] Speaker C: Actually, yeah. I am curious what you found.
[00:43:54] Speaker A: A group of people were there. There were signs of an exorcism, some sort of divine ritual. We couldn't figure out what started the conflict, but I definitely believe that the mausoleum to St. Astra is the epicenter of the problem.
But there were no witnesses. Really? Everyone who was anywhere near the graveyard left town for Turtle Bay. And we didn't have clearance to go, so we didn't go. All right, so you don't get very far out of town when you see two shirtless young bros kind of curled up in the sun, working on their tan. And in front of them is a buxom lass that you recognize as Bella. And Bella has a basket of eggs.
[00:44:50] Speaker B: She's so cool.
[00:44:54] Speaker D: I will not engage.
I'll just wave, move on.
[00:45:02] Speaker A: She waves back at you. You think she recognizes you, but she doesn't seem to approach you.
[00:45:08] Speaker B: Creedon wants to go talk to her.
[00:45:11] Speaker D: Must we, Creedon?
[00:45:13] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:45:14] Speaker D: All right.
Can't argue with a yes like that. I guess.
[00:45:21] Speaker A: Dread keeps his distance, like, away from her and behind the group. And Max will walk up with you.
[00:45:26] Speaker B: Hi, Bella. How has it been going since you helped us out in that. Well, that undead horde attack?
[00:45:33] Speaker A: Good. Max was here, along with his friend Dredd and another woman who didn't make a great impression.
[00:45:43] Speaker C: She did not make a good impression on us either.
[00:45:46] Speaker B: Yeah, she sucks.
[00:45:49] Speaker A: Any sign of any undead? And she says no. You took care of the problem, Max. Good job.
The town is not in danger.
[00:45:56] Speaker B: So you're just out here selling eggs?
[00:45:59] Speaker A: Copper and egg.
[00:46:00] Speaker B: Do you get a lot of business.
[00:46:02] Speaker A: On the, uh, no, but I'm not necessarily allowed in town, so sometimes people come out and get eggs.
[00:46:11] Speaker C: Even after all you did?
[00:46:12] Speaker A: Well, I didn't give their men back, so they are still upset. But I think you'll see they seem perfectly happy.
[00:46:21] Speaker C: Insight. Insight.
Oh, no, that's a ten, man.
[00:46:28] Speaker B: How do you do it? I got to get some tips from you.
[00:46:31] Speaker A: And she says, oh, it's just a gift. Must be blessed by the.
[00:46:37] Speaker B: Hmm. Yeah. Couldn't we all be so lucky? Well, I'll buy a couple eggs. Creighton will buy two eggs.
[00:46:45] Speaker A: You get two eggs. Max says, well, it was great running into you. And he goes to extend his hand, and from back behind you, you hear Dredd go, and Max pulls his hand.
[00:46:55] Speaker C: Back, like to get the skinny on that later.
She probably did the drunk thing to Max, too. Wasn't she the one who did the drunk thing to Creedon?
[00:47:06] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:47:07] Speaker C: Okay.
[00:47:08] Speaker B: Oh, yeah, Creedon forgot about that because she was drunk.
[00:47:15] Speaker A: Bella nods and says, well, good luck. And if you find yourselves in Palmville, I'll always be here, just selling eggs.
[00:47:23] Speaker D: Good to know.
[00:47:24] Speaker C: Have a good day.
[00:47:24] Speaker A: Bella, you head a little ways down the road, and you do see that there's a little camp setup that has a sort of plush tent, like one of those multi poled large tents know a group of people could live in. And you see several other strapping, shirtless men slapping out rugs and pillows and things. Dusting.
[00:47:47] Speaker C: Just browing out.
[00:47:48] Speaker A: Just browing out. Man.
[00:47:51] Speaker D: Can I do, man?
[00:47:52] Speaker B: I want to be able to perception.
[00:47:54] Speaker D: Check on one of these men.
[00:47:55] Speaker A: Sure.
[00:47:56] Speaker D: All right. I'm just looking for anything at all with my one.
[00:48:02] Speaker A: Oh, no.
[00:48:03] Speaker C: Bella's an enigma, man. It's like the dice. No.
[00:48:07] Speaker A: Yeah. With a one, you don't really see anything terribly out of normal. It's a bunch of dudes in their late teens, 20s, even into their early 30s.
Like six of them just seem to live in this tent.
[00:48:22] Speaker D: Yes. Nothing strange about that.
[00:48:25] Speaker B: Hey, Dread, what's your read on this situation?
[00:48:28] Speaker D: Yeah, it's like the same thing Dredd says.
[00:48:31] Speaker A: Have you heard of a creature called Alamia?
[00:48:36] Speaker D: Aren't those desert beasts?
[00:48:38] Speaker A: They can be.
They're cursed by a God and they're part of their punishment is that they are some sort of beastial form. They have some duties as a result of their curse.
[00:48:53] Speaker D: I just know that we were warned about women.
Lions, if I remember. Right, in the desert.
[00:49:01] Speaker A: Part lion, part woman.
[00:49:05] Speaker D: Seems quite a distance.
[00:49:07] Speaker C: Is there one God in particular that curses them?
[00:49:11] Speaker A: No. So the story goes. And the story is only about like 40, 50 years old. A priestess of a goddess betrayed that goddess. And so they were sentenced to lose their mortal form and spend eternity in service. Boulain, you can roll me. An advantaged history roll.
[00:49:34] Speaker D: Does not seem like she is protecting the town. I guess she did protect the town.
[00:49:38] Speaker C: She did protect the town. Yeah. That is a eleven.
[00:49:43] Speaker A: You remember Amaranth strain had a wife named Lamia? Yep.
[00:49:47] Speaker C: Oh, my. Interesting. She looks at Zuris and Creedon and says, amaranth's wife's name was Lamia?
[00:49:57] Speaker D: I just want to make sure that we're talking straight. You're telling me Lamia.
That person is a Lamia?
[00:50:07] Speaker C: Or was?
[00:50:08] Speaker D: Well, considering the footprints we saw when.
[00:50:13] Speaker C: We came across her, she was a pool of blood on an altar top. Because she was dead or undead.
[00:50:18] Speaker D: I see the stories of the first Lamia. Not of this Lamia.
[00:50:24] Speaker C: Right.
[00:50:24] Speaker D: This makes much more sense. All right, I'm clear.
[00:50:27] Speaker B: But she made more and made Bella into one. Or Bella is born one.
[00:50:31] Speaker A: Oh.
[00:50:32] Speaker C: I wonder if Bella is one of her children.
[00:50:34] Speaker D: Honestly, I think that's a cut for another day.
[00:50:37] Speaker C: Probably right. We will have to pass this way when we head back north.
[00:50:41] Speaker D: I'll make sure to sharpen my axe for the trip.
[00:50:44] Speaker C: We do not know that she's evil.
[00:50:46] Speaker B: I think she's got it figured out.
[00:50:50] Speaker A: We will see what happened. Anyway, Dredd says just don't touch her.
[00:50:56] Speaker C: What happened when you shook her hand before. Max.
[00:50:59] Speaker A: Max, like. I don't know. I had a great night, though.
[00:51:02] Speaker B: Yeah, I did, too.
[00:51:07] Speaker A: I don't remember it real well.
[00:51:09] Speaker C: Vilain looks at Dredd.
[00:51:10] Speaker A: Lamy are known for their intoxicating touch, which they use to seduce men, generally.
[00:51:15] Speaker B: Generally? Well, I feel so honored.
[00:51:19] Speaker A: I mean, intoxication has other uses.
[00:51:22] Speaker C: Yeah. She wanted information from you.
[00:51:26] Speaker B: No.
[00:51:27] Speaker A: So I need a survival role from Bolane for day one of travel from Palmville to.
[00:51:33] Speaker C: Oh, shit. That's not a good one. Oh, no, that's a nine.
[00:51:37] Speaker A: So you're staying on the road. You're doing a good job. Nothing seems to be out of the ordinary. At which .3 massive chickens.
And by massive, I mean like, larger than horses.
[00:51:51] Speaker B: Oh, Jesus.
[00:51:52] Speaker A: Come barreling out of the thorns toward the road. You have around to react before they get to you. Their beaks seem to have been transformed into maws of razor sharp teeth.
[00:52:03] Speaker B: Oh, good.
[00:52:05] Speaker A: A lot of their feathers have fallen off and have been replaced with sort of reptilian scales. Their wings seem to have shrunk a little bit. You don't think there's any chance they're going to do anything, like fly? But they look hungry, and you look about the size of a. I don't know, a big grub.
[00:52:23] Speaker D: Should have bought the eggs.
[00:52:25] Speaker B: Hey, they'll go great with the eggs.
[00:52:27] Speaker C: We have a round to do something.
[00:52:29] Speaker A: You have one round before they get to you.
[00:52:32] Speaker C: Belain will try to move out of their beeline path towards us, and she will cast sacred flame at one of them.
[00:52:39] Speaker A: Okay, it needs to make a deck save on eleven.
[00:52:43] Speaker C: No, that failed.
And then, as a bonus action, she will cast spiritual weapon and hit the other one with that.
All right, so that's eight on the sacred flame, and then the spiritual weapon. I'm changing dice because that one betrayed me.
Oh, no, that's bad.
The spiritual weapon appears, but does not hit the other one.
[00:53:05] Speaker A: Okey dokie. One of them who has been hit turns to attack you. Who else has a turn?
[00:53:13] Speaker B: I'd like to shoot at him.
[00:53:15] Speaker A: Go for it.
[00:53:16] Speaker B: I'll give him the Eldridge blast.
[00:53:18] Speaker A: You want to shoot at the same one Belain did? Or a different.
[00:53:21] Speaker B: Yeah, same one. That Belain went for a 18 to hit.
[00:53:26] Speaker A: That hits.
[00:53:28] Speaker B: And that is. Oh, my God. Minimum damage. Six force damage.
[00:53:34] Speaker A: Okay, it's still charging, Baleen.
[00:53:37] Speaker D: I will pull out the glave and put myself, hopefully, in a path that will intercept the chicken to Balaine. And I want to be on a path that I can also try to swing it. A chicken that goes by on the other side.
[00:53:55] Speaker A: If possible, Max will step up next to you and pull his axe. Dread pulls a hand crossbow and sort of kneels behind you all. Now I need initiative.
[00:54:10] Speaker C: Eleven. That was pretty good. You get advantage, too.
[00:54:15] Speaker B: I know. I thought I rolled the same thing on both dice, but I just can't.
[00:54:18] Speaker C: Read very well with my glasses.
[00:54:21] Speaker B: That's a 19.
[00:54:22] Speaker A: And Max and dread will go last because that's how I like to handle my npcs. All right, Raptor one attempts to close with belain and slams instead into Xeris. This chicken is real angry.
It attempts to bite you with a mouthful of horrific, shredded teeth.
A 20 to hit.
[00:54:45] Speaker D: You got it.
[00:54:46] Speaker A: All right, I need a constitution saving throw, please.
[00:54:49] Speaker C: Oh, no, they're poisoned.
[00:54:51] Speaker D: That's a fail at a seven.
[00:54:53] Speaker A: Okay, you take 25 damage as this shit mega chicken latches onto your shoulder, bites through your armor, and appears to leave trails of green slime out of its mouth.
[00:55:08] Speaker D: That hurts.
[00:55:10] Speaker B: This is not the same as the chicken that laid on me.
[00:55:13] Speaker C: This was not the innocuous chicken with the snake coming out of its chest that laid on.
[00:55:17] Speaker A: These are far more dangerous.
[00:55:19] Speaker C: These are rabid chickens.
[00:55:21] Speaker A: The second one curves and begins to sort of wolf like stalk the side of the party. It will wrap around Xeris and try to go for evens. Will be boulane. Odds will be Creedon tries to go for Boulain.
Okay, Boulain does a 15 hit.
[00:55:42] Speaker C: That exactly hits.
[00:55:44] Speaker A: All right, I need a constitution saving throw, okay?
[00:55:47] Speaker D: Because we do theater of the mind. I have a five foot power that I don't know when or when it cannot be used.
[00:55:53] Speaker A: Can be used right now.
[00:55:54] Speaker D: All right. Yeah. I'll stretch out a red dragon wing and add three to ac.
[00:55:59] Speaker B: Oh, sick.
[00:56:00] Speaker C: Oh. So it doesn't hit me.
[00:56:01] Speaker A: You completely miss.
And also, I believe you have a held action zero. So if you want to just hack down. All right, the one in front of.
[00:56:09] Speaker D: You, that's a 19. I don't have great weapon. Master, do you happen to be a subtype of dragon?
[00:56:17] Speaker A: No.
[00:56:19] Speaker B: You had some skills.
[00:56:20] Speaker C: These are giant dinosaurs.
[00:56:22] Speaker A: I am a badly mutated chicken.
[00:56:26] Speaker D: 25 on the two. Hit. 610.
[00:56:29] Speaker A: 15.
[00:56:30] Speaker C: At what point does it stop being a chicken and start being a velociraptor? I'm asking for scientific reasons.
[00:56:37] Speaker A: As a dungeon master, I will inform you that I am looking at a stat block called velociraptor.
[00:56:44] Speaker C: I thought so.
[00:56:48] Speaker A: The third one attempts to gang up on Boulain.
[00:56:53] Speaker C: Fuck.
[00:56:55] Speaker A: Because they're pack hunters and the leak ones are in the back. Usually.
Yeah. I think a 25 is going to do it. Now. I need that concept.
[00:57:06] Speaker C: Can I use the same one I did before? Because it was a good role.
[00:57:09] Speaker A: Sure. What was it?
[00:57:10] Speaker C: It was a 17.
[00:57:12] Speaker A: You do not take the poison damage, but do take 14 horrendous, teeth piercing damage.
[00:57:19] Speaker C: Damn, dude.
[00:57:21] Speaker A: As they sort of grab you, give me an athletics or acrobatics roll.
[00:57:27] Speaker C: We're going to go with acrobatics because athletics is a minus one and acrobatics is a plus one.
Oh, but that's a seven. Shit.
[00:57:37] Speaker A: This one pulls you off your feet and begins dragging you away from the party.
[00:57:41] Speaker C: Oh, shit.
[00:57:43] Speaker A: Creedon.
[00:57:44] Speaker B: All right, Creedon is going to cast armor of agathas on herself and get 15 temporary hit points. Which one is the one that's dragging boulain away? The one that we've already hit?
[00:57:57] Speaker A: No.
[00:57:57] Speaker B: Okay, well, I don't want it to take Boulain away, so I'm going to Eldridge, blast the one dragging Boulain.
[00:58:04] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:58:06] Speaker B: A 21 to hit.
[00:58:08] Speaker A: That'll hit.
[00:58:09] Speaker B: And that is nine force damage.
[00:58:14] Speaker D: Zeros rage. Tell Max to go help Belain, then I will swing at this guy. I will. Reckless attack. Yes, I will.
[00:58:31] Speaker A: 23 hits.
All right.
[00:58:37] Speaker D: Twelve damage plus. So 16 damage total.
[00:58:40] Speaker A: Okie dokie.
[00:58:42] Speaker D: Second attack.
That's a 19.
[00:58:47] Speaker A: That hits 28. Okay, it is still standing, sort of. Boulain, you are on your back. There is one snapping at your legs.
[00:58:58] Speaker C: If I do a touch spell, can I have advantage because they're touching me already?
[00:59:03] Speaker A: No, it will still be a regular attack because you are also prone. So we'll have it all balance out.
[00:59:09] Speaker C: She is going to cast inflict wounds on the one that's got her.
Oh, that's good. That's a 20. Non natural 20.
[00:59:19] Speaker A: Is that it?
[00:59:24] Speaker C: That's 15 damage.
And then she will bring the spiritual weapon to the one that's got her and try to hit it with that.
That's a 19. That hits eleven damage.
[00:59:38] Speaker A: Max belts out a roar, leaps at the one that is on Boulain and just recklessly wails on it with two swings, connecting twice. Yay for 38 damage total.
[00:59:56] Speaker C: Shit.
[00:59:57] Speaker A: He's basically just almost exactly zeros, but his intelligence score is lower. I think his decks might be higher.
[01:00:05] Speaker D: He probably has a better ac.
[01:00:07] Speaker A: Yeah, not right now with the reckless going, but yeah. No, he just wails on it. Dread gets to use a bonus action to roll perception because that's his power as the investigator that he is.
And then he will fire a shot hitting the one that has not been hit yet for 21 damage.
[01:00:30] Speaker D: An interesting choice from the smart guy.
[01:00:32] Speaker A: Raptor number one has bit off way more than it can chew. It takes its. No, it's just going to run. It's going to double move to the thorns.
Xeris, you may take an attack of opportunity if you wish.
[01:00:45] Speaker D: I don't think this game's reckless.
That's all right.
[01:00:48] Speaker A: Too panicked to be strategic.
[01:00:50] Speaker D: Rolled a 19. So that's 26, 1015.
20.
[01:00:58] Speaker A: It goes down dinner. Cleave a leg off, and it falls. The one that is holding Boulain releases Boulain's leg and runs. Max is going to try to finish that poor boy off. Ooh, that won't do. Nope. Max misses. Max misses bad. It darts back towards the thorns. It is not in them yet, but it is on the way. The third one seems to take the hint that this is not going well, and it uses its action to withdraw with purpose. It makes it only halfway between you and the rest of the raptors, but it does not take any tax opportunity. They appear to be fleeing. Which brings us to Creedon.
[01:01:41] Speaker B: I mean, I think Creedon will probably just let them go.
[01:01:44] Speaker D: Okay, Ziris, are they faster than I am, or can I catch up to the one that's fleeing? My speed's 40.
[01:01:52] Speaker A: You are faster than them.
[01:01:53] Speaker D: I will catch up to the fresh one. My first action will be to knock it to the ground with a push.
[01:02:01] Speaker A: Okay, I need athletics.
[01:02:05] Speaker D: That's a Nat 20, so 27.
[01:02:07] Speaker A: Okay, I get an 18. So you push it down. It's prone.
[01:02:11] Speaker D: Now I'm going to attack it with my axe.
[01:02:14] Speaker B: Dang. I guess I should have shot at him.
[01:02:16] Speaker C: I mean, when Zerus gets mad, it's better to just let him play out his rage.
[01:02:21] Speaker D: That's going to be a 20 to hit.
[01:02:23] Speaker A: Got it.
[01:02:24] Speaker D: Damage is going to be 1720.
[01:02:29] Speaker B: Okay, you get them zeros.
[01:02:31] Speaker A: Boulain.
[01:02:33] Speaker C: Boulain isn't done with this thing yet. She's going to cast toll the dead on it.
[01:02:39] Speaker A: Do you want toll the dead on the one that's lagging or the one that is nearly escaping?
[01:02:45] Speaker C: They both took damage.
[01:02:46] Speaker A: The one that ran from Max looks like it is on death door.
The one that Zerus is beating is still pretty fresh.
[01:02:54] Speaker C: She'll go after the one that Zuris is beating.
[01:02:57] Speaker A: Okay.
[01:02:58] Speaker C: Yeah. So it needs to make a wisdom save.
[01:03:00] Speaker A: They're not real wise. Go ahead and do your damage.
[01:03:03] Speaker C: Okay. And she'll do spiritual weapon on the one that's closer to the thorns, too. That's 17 damage. And then the spiritual weapon on the other one is a 19 that hits.
And that does it for eight damage. Force damage.
[01:03:21] Speaker A: Okay, it's still up. Max is still losing his shit. He charges up to aid Zerus, swinging at this thing that says on the ground, hitting twice and rolling terribly on his damage dice, doing 21 damage.
[01:03:37] Speaker C: That was terrible.
[01:03:38] Speaker A: Yeah, no, it was not good.
Mainly in that it is still alive.
Dread makes a perception check because that's his thing. And then fires, killing the one that is nearly into the thorns.
[01:03:54] Speaker C: Yay.
[01:03:57] Speaker A: Leaving just the one that is lying on the ground in front of Xeris. It kicks from the ground with its big claws. Terrible. Absolutely terrible. A chicken claw about the size of your torso bounces off your armor, and we can fall out of initiative order because it has exactly three hit points. Sure.
[01:04:18] Speaker B: Wait, I want to shoot at it now.
[01:04:20] Speaker A: If everybody else is beating above the next person.
[01:04:24] Speaker B: Yeah, that's right. I'm going to give it.
[01:04:27] Speaker A: You have disadvantage down on the ground. Yeah.
[01:04:31] Speaker C: All right.
[01:04:32] Speaker B: That is a 14 to hit.
[01:04:35] Speaker A: 14 just hits.
[01:04:37] Speaker D: I still think you should get the finishing blow.
[01:04:39] Speaker B: That is nine force damage.
[01:04:41] Speaker A: Okay. Yeah. You take that thing out, you can have chicken for days.
[01:04:47] Speaker C: Do we have salt on us? We could harvest it and salt it.
[01:04:49] Speaker B: And then we have chicken jerky, some nice lemon pepper.
[01:04:56] Speaker C: I don't know. Does anybody know how to field dress a chicken?
[01:05:01] Speaker B: Dredd seems to know how to cook.
[01:05:04] Speaker A: Dredd pulls out a notebook and begins field dressing a chicken by following the instructions exactly.
[01:05:12] Speaker C: He just has it in his notebook, how to field dress a chicken.
[01:05:27] Speaker A: And that is our show. Longtime listeners might say, what is Nate's obsession with chickens? So Mandy keeps chickens as backyard pets, and I think chickens are terrible pets. As a result, I attack her with chickens, characters from horrid nightmares whenever I can. Now, you know, also, farm animals, for story reasons are common victims of thorn mutations in our world. And chickens are often the first and most horrifying thing to meet this terrible fate because it's particularly frightening to take something completely inoffensive and make it scary. And also, I hate chickens. With that, thanks to Todd Ferguson of my pet machine for our tunes and Julie at elaborate flight of fancy for our demon bee logo. Don't forget to leave us a rating and review. What will our heroes do when first they see the dragon of the swamp?
Find out next time on carrots and suffering at the indiopost.
