Episode Transcript
[00:00:31] Speaker A: Welcome to carrots and suffering a DND odyssey. We are deep into campaign two. Astragar, kingdom of the gods. More of a traditional DND campaign than our last one. With the introduction of Turtle Bay, I am moving into my own custom world. I hope you enjoyed some blasts from.
[00:00:46] Speaker B: The past, inspired by writings from the 1990s.
[00:00:50] Speaker A: With that last time on carrots and suffering, our heroes got their next assignment. Apparently there have been enough dragon sightings on the river along the locks that the traders are quite nervous, and the coin lords have called for a military response. In three weeks, if that dragon is still there, three dozen naval paladins are going to board ships and try to drive it away from the river. I need you to ensure they succeed. An urgent message arrived with more assignment.
[00:01:27] Speaker C: Vecna's on the move. Allies of the death God of secrets are on the move. Trust no one. Was there more.
[00:01:34] Speaker A: Get to Turtle Bay.
[00:01:35] Speaker C: Yes. Right. The most important part.
[00:01:41] Speaker A: Our heroes then traveled to Turtle Bay visiting a friend and battling some not friends.
[00:01:47] Speaker D: Hi, Bella. How has it been going since you helped us out in that. Well, that undead, horrid attack?
[00:01:55] Speaker E: At what point does it stop being a chicken and start being a velociraptor? I'm asking for scientific reasons.
[00:02:04] Speaker A: Let's get into it.
[00:02:14] Speaker D: I was kind of hoping that somebody would try to hit me so I could try out this spell I've never used.
[00:02:20] Speaker C: We can spar, I think.
[00:02:21] Speaker D: I'm afraid to spar with you, Xeris.
I think you'd take it very, very seriously. More seriously than I think I would want you to.
[00:02:33] Speaker C: Nah.
[00:02:34] Speaker E: Oh. I should have done vampiric touch on it. I forgot I had that.
Next time.
[00:02:39] Speaker A: Next time.
[00:02:40] Speaker C: Before we put Boulain in charge, Max or Dredd.
How are you at navigating the roads.
[00:02:49] Speaker D: Since Boulain failed us?
[00:02:51] Speaker E: I would like to point out I did not fail us, like, three or four times there.
[00:02:56] Speaker C: It's not that, actually. It's just we have resources we hadn't considered when we made that choice.
[00:03:02] Speaker A: They compare notes. Max is about as good as Bolaine.
[00:03:06] Speaker C: All right, Bolaine, lead on.
[00:03:08] Speaker E: Just wanted to make sure I'm using a different dice.
[00:03:11] Speaker C: That'll make all the difference.
[00:03:13] Speaker E: Okay, that's 1114.
[00:03:15] Speaker A: You do not encounter any more wild beasts from the thorns. You find a nice place to camp. You post watches as it gets dark. You do hear quite a bit of noise from the swamp. Word direction as you are now. Getting pretty close to the swamp. But nothing comes out of the swamp.
[00:03:33] Speaker D: Dragon noises.
[00:03:34] Speaker E: Natural 20. Where was that? For that survival role.
[00:03:38] Speaker A: Natural 20. You are pretty sure you are hearing the sound of very large reptiles in the water. Probably maybe anaconda snakes.
[00:03:50] Speaker E: Boulane says those are reptiles.
[00:03:52] Speaker D: Don't want none.
[00:03:53] Speaker E: We know of one very large reptile that lives in that river, one of the biggest and another one that seems to be occupying a space near the river. So we might be hearing their little skirmish.
[00:04:05] Speaker A: Which brings us to the next morning. Blaine.
[00:04:08] Speaker E: Hi. All right, that's a 19.
[00:04:11] Speaker A: Yeah. You have another uneventful day, really. You see an incredibly large flying bird of prey, probably a mutated eagle, and you decide to sort of group up and maybe get some tree cover.
[00:04:22] Speaker E: Excellent.
[00:04:22] Speaker A: And you arrive in hilock. The mood in Hilock is basically just as you left it. The town guard can be seen walking around. Trade is clearly very active right now. So there's people unloading and loading at the docks in large forces. There are a bunch of sort of pop up shops. We're not here last time because the trade had stopped, basically. A bunch of street vendors have now lined the docks and the main street and are just selling like, various knickknacky things that they managed to buy off of different trade caravans through the years. Anything you want to do here?
[00:04:57] Speaker D: I want to find the potion seller.
[00:05:00] Speaker E: Yes, I would like to find some healing potions, please.
[00:05:03] Speaker A: You can absolutely find a potion seller. You don't recognize the person, but you do recognize their sign. So there is a middle aged woman with big box of potions and various herbs hanging down. And the sign says birdie's curios.
[00:05:21] Speaker E: But the woman is new. It's not birdie.
[00:05:23] Speaker C: I'll break away while they're shopping as well and do my own thing later.
[00:05:27] Speaker A: So healing potions are 100 gold?
[00:05:30] Speaker E: Yes. Boulain buys two of them.
[00:05:32] Speaker A: You have two healing potions. Put them on sheet.
[00:05:34] Speaker D: I guess if Zirus is peeling off, I will ask dearist. Do you want me to pick you up some potions?
[00:05:40] Speaker C: Sure. Thank you.
[00:05:41] Speaker D: Okay, I will buy four then. Two for me and two for Xeris.
[00:05:46] Speaker A: Okay. That is you pretty much buy her out.
[00:05:49] Speaker D: Yeah, most of my gold.
[00:05:50] Speaker A: You get six healing potions.
[00:05:53] Speaker D: Can I assume that you gave me 200 gold or should I take that out of my sheet? Okay, well, I'm getting it for you anyway.
[00:05:59] Speaker E: He doesn't have any. He keeps giving it all to his cursed weapon.
[00:06:03] Speaker D: I'm not keeping track of what he's doing. I mean, I assume that he still has money. It never seems to spend it.
[00:06:11] Speaker A: Zeros. What are you up to in town while they're shopping.
[00:06:13] Speaker C: One, I want to go by birdie's storefront.
[00:06:15] Speaker A: Birdie's storefront is shut down completely and locked. Still no one has set up shop yet.
[00:06:20] Speaker C: Windows open or closed. Can I see in the windows?
[00:06:23] Speaker A: You can see in the windows. Most of the stuff is gone. There's still, like, some scattered remnants. Shelving looks like some items that just weren't worth moving. You can still see are in there.
[00:06:34] Speaker C: It's unfortunate. All right, I had to.
[00:06:36] Speaker A: Bardish, you go to the opulent mayor's house. It is different in a short period of time. There's no gate guard. The gates are wide open. When you come in. It has been converted into essentially a fully functioning town hall. You're guessing instead of having the manor to himself, Bardish has a bedroom, and then the rest of it is mostly converted into office spaces. The pool is now a free community resource and people are just lounging in it. And when you step into the office of Khan Bardish, you see Convardiche. And sitting in a reclining chair in the same room is chastity.
[00:07:18] Speaker C: Chastity. Khan and I are going to need the room.
[00:07:20] Speaker A: She stands up and says, absolutely.
We're still on for drinks later. And she walks out.
[00:07:25] Speaker C: Good to see you.
[00:07:26] Speaker A: And Khan says, hey, khan, I need.
[00:07:29] Speaker C: A favor, if I can get one.
[00:07:32] Speaker A: Anything you need, my friend.
[00:07:34] Speaker C: Well, unfortunately, I was going to ask for some pool time, but apparently that's gone public, so I don't know that I want that.
[00:07:44] Speaker A: The kids do pee in it all the time.
[00:07:46] Speaker C: Just, can you set me up with a good room for the night and maybe put in there a painting that no one will miss?
[00:07:56] Speaker A: Yeah, actually, I have a guest room set up that happens to be full of paintings nobody will miss.
[00:08:00] Speaker C: Awesome. I will owe you one.
[00:08:03] Speaker A: No problem.
[00:08:03] Speaker C: Great. And I go back and rejoin the party.
[00:08:06] Speaker E: I think the lane wants to go pay a visit to. I can't remember his name. It was Kaima's uncle.
[00:08:12] Speaker A: Grace Street, Gray Street, Melbourne.
[00:08:14] Speaker E: She would like to go pay a visit to Melbourne, Gray street and see what he's up to, because he did not get swept up in everything that's happened.
[00:08:22] Speaker A: Melbourne, when you arrive at his house, is just as you left him, and he appears to be tinkering with some gears and some oil. When he opens the door, he's got all kinds of oil stains on himself. He says, what can I do for you?
[00:08:34] Speaker E: Well, I wanted to come and say hello and see how the lock business was doing.
[00:08:39] Speaker A: Oh, pretty good. I had to come out of retirement to get it back up and running. Khan's pretty persuasive gentleman, but anyway, I mostly just trained up a couple of rugrats. He doesn't trust any of the old.
[00:08:50] Speaker E: Lock people, so I cannot imagine why.
[00:08:53] Speaker A: Been training a few dock hands? I still training them, actually. They're coming along, some of them. They'll get it.
[00:08:59] Speaker E: We are likely taking a passage south to Turtle Bay. I was wondering what the situation was at the lower lock.
[00:09:05] Speaker A: Yeah. So, Miri went missing.
[00:09:08] Speaker E: Really?
[00:09:09] Speaker A: Just disappeared? Yep. Just disappeared.
[00:09:12] Speaker E: When did that happen?
[00:09:14] Speaker A: Oh, gosh, like two days after you all left, Miri disappeared. Her second in command is still down there, but Khan has had him fire all of his previous lock operators and hire local tradesmen. And supposedly, they're getting trained just the same as these folks in the north. Takes us a little longer to open the locks than it used to. If something breaks, it takes us longer.
[00:09:37] Speaker B: To fix it right now, but I.
[00:09:39] Speaker A: Think in the next three months, we should be back to basic operations.
[00:09:44] Speaker E: What do you know about the dragon and reptile actions happening along the river?
[00:09:51] Speaker A: Well, I know that a lot of people have seen a dragon basically every day, flying overhead, eyeing their goods. They've taken to hiding things, under tents mostly, but so far, the dragon's left them alone. It seems to be looking for something interesting.
[00:10:06] Speaker E: All right. What about in the river?
[00:10:09] Speaker A: I mean, river's the same as always, full of gators and piranhas.
[00:10:13] Speaker E: Well, we will likely be at the inn a little later tonight. Are we staying here tonight? Oh, yeah. Because you just got a room in a mansion. Sarah swan, all luxury on us.
[00:10:22] Speaker D: Creedon loves this.
[00:10:24] Speaker E: Yeah.
Billain says, well, we might be eating and drinking at the inn later if you want to come by and say hello.
[00:10:32] Speaker A: I'd love that. I got great stories I got to tell you. About the time I killed a Hydra with a knife.
[00:10:36] Speaker E: The same hydra that is still plaguing hilock.
[00:10:40] Speaker A: Well, I didn't kill that Hydra.
Now, I'm too old.
[00:10:45] Speaker E: Otherwise, you would, I'm sure.
[00:10:46] Speaker A: Oh, yeah. I mean, it probably could take him, but I got to train some lock operators. You know what? I'm halfway into retirement. Let's just go now.
[00:10:56] Speaker E: To fight the Hydra?
[00:10:58] Speaker A: No, that's stupid. To the end. To get drinks.
[00:11:02] Speaker E: All right. I will meet you there.
[00:11:04] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:11:05] Speaker E: Well, we let him go on ahead, and she says Mary went missing.
[00:11:09] Speaker C: Yeah. It's a shame.
[00:11:11] Speaker E: Do you think there was foul play or that she just left?
[00:11:13] Speaker C: I don't know that it matters.
[00:11:15] Speaker E: Just curious, I suppose.
[00:11:17] Speaker C: Not my concern either way.
[00:11:19] Speaker E: All right. To the end. Are you staying at the.
[00:11:21] Speaker C: No, no, I'm going to shack up pradesh tonight.
[00:11:25] Speaker E: Oh, that is not something I thought of. Perhaps I will do that. It would be nice to have a bath.
[00:11:30] Speaker C: Well, there are a lot of people in the bath now. Apparently, everybody gets to bathe there now.
[00:11:35] Speaker E: Well, they had private bathrooms, though.
[00:11:38] Speaker C: I don't know what that's like.
Anyway, let's go get a drink.
[00:11:44] Speaker A: You get a drink. Melbourne Gray street meets you there and pounds them down.
Bring us to Creighton. Anything you want to do.
[00:11:54] Speaker D: Creighton invites Dredd to go visit the lock because it's full of giant mechanical stuff and gears and things. And she thinks that he would like.
[00:12:02] Speaker E: To look at it.
[00:12:04] Speaker D: That's it.
[00:12:05] Speaker A: Dredd has never been here before. He would like to look at it.
He actually doesn't know shit about locks, so he's really excited to have someone tell him about it.
[00:12:16] Speaker D: Nice.
[00:12:18] Speaker A: And dread takes copious notes.
[00:12:21] Speaker D: That's it. That's all I wanted to do.
[00:12:24] Speaker E: She wanted to impress the boy.
[00:12:27] Speaker A: You folks have no problems finding a place to sleep for the night? Zerus, you have a luxury room.
[00:12:33] Speaker C: I have some things to take care of as well in my luxury room.
[00:12:36] Speaker A: Okay. What would you like to do?
[00:12:38] Speaker C: I would like to gather every other painting in the.
[00:12:41] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:12:42] Speaker C: Put it in a pile on the floor.
Put nodig on top of said pile. And feed nodig?
[00:12:49] Speaker A: Yeah, he drains the color out of the paintings.
[00:12:52] Speaker C: I will shuffle the paintings under the bed. And what do you know about Turtle Bay?
[00:13:00] Speaker A: I know most of the official correspondence.
[00:13:04] Speaker B: That have come through Sternheim.
[00:13:06] Speaker A: And I know about the layout of Turtle Bay from the last two 3400 years ish.
[00:13:13] Speaker C: You don't have any enemies in Turtle Bay, do you?
[00:13:15] Speaker A: No. I'm dead.
Dead men have no enemies.
[00:13:19] Speaker C: Well, Turtle Bay is going to be a bit of a challenge, so I might need you to be a bit more forefront.
[00:13:30] Speaker A: I can give you a contact if you'd like.
[00:13:33] Speaker C: Sure.
[00:13:34] Speaker A: You can tell them that Nodeg sent you. And they'll recognize the name of my father.
[00:13:40] Speaker C: All right.
[00:13:40] Speaker A: Who's that you are looking for?
Traffron beach crown.
Traffherin is nearly as old as I was when I died.
[00:13:53] Speaker C: If for some reason there's a situation that I need to not be in, but can't physically leave, can you take the wheel? Can you take over for a short time?
[00:14:05] Speaker A: If you ask nicely, I can.
If you get yourself into trouble.
Traffherin is probably the most powerful person in town. And certainly the wealthy.
[00:14:18] Speaker C: Well, all right. Good to know.
[00:14:21] Speaker A: And he has a pet pirate.
[00:14:24] Speaker C: Oh, a pet pirate.
[00:14:26] Speaker A: Well, some of the pirates have agreed to mostly legitimate work.
[00:14:31] Speaker C: All right, that's interesting to know. I'll keep that in mind. Kind of defeats the word pirate.
[00:14:37] Speaker A: They're just a lot more dangerous than your average accompanying ship.
[00:14:43] Speaker C: I see. I always appreciate our business.
[00:14:53] Speaker A: Morning comes round. It is very easy to get a boat. I'm going to roll a random dice to see how lucky or unlucky you are.
[00:15:00] Speaker E: The answer is unlucky because of course.
[00:15:03] Speaker C: I do want to say for the trip, I will keep no dig wrapped.
[00:15:07] Speaker E: Okay.
[00:15:08] Speaker A: On day one, there is a surge in the water. You feel the trade boat, you're on shift. And about 20 minutes after that, something comes flying way overhead over the river. You can tell at this distance it is probably draconic, but it is way too high up to really get a good sense of its size.
[00:15:30] Speaker E: But probably just the fact that we can see it and it's that high probably says how big it is.
[00:15:35] Speaker A: You know, it's huge. It is full grown, but just too far away. And it does not stop. It just follows the length of the river and disappears into the horizon.
Day two. It is a nice, calm day. About four in the morning, the boat lurches again just suddenly, like one big wave rolls through and somebody falls overboard. When that happens, let's see who is awake for watch number two. How about all three of you roll me ad 20? And the person who rolls the lowest has the weird middle of the night watch twelve.
[00:16:17] Speaker E: That actually makes sense because she was probably already awake for the day by four.
[00:16:20] Speaker D: Creedon always avoids doing watch.
[00:16:22] Speaker E: All right, is there a bell to ring on this boat?
[00:16:25] Speaker A: Yes, there is.
[00:16:26] Speaker E: She will ring the bell. She'll start yelling, man overboard.
[00:16:30] Speaker A: Several people will run to the side. The bell is certainly loud enough to wake everybody up.
[00:16:34] Speaker E: And she will cast dancing lights towards the water where she saw this person go over to see if we can see them. She could probably see them because she can see in the dark, but she wants everybody else to see them, too.
[00:16:43] Speaker A: You throw dancing lights, you regret it.
[00:16:45] Speaker E: Oh, shit.
[00:16:46] Speaker A: Because all you see is just a slowly expanding pool of blood.
[00:16:52] Speaker E: Oh, my God.
[00:16:53] Speaker A: Meanwhile, the people throw anchor down and they spend about an hour, just like, scanning the water.
[00:17:01] Speaker E: Boulain says, does anyone know who that was?
[00:17:04] Speaker A: We'll have to take role when we stop.
[00:17:06] Speaker E: She will. I mean, I'm assuming we didn't find this dude, right? Or this person?
[00:17:12] Speaker A: Unless someone dives in the water, this is all you get to see.
[00:17:16] Speaker D: Not it.
[00:17:19] Speaker E: She sends Sadie to find Xeris to wake up. Xeris.
[00:17:24] Speaker A: Xeris, you're awake when Sadie pokes Sadie.
[00:17:29] Speaker C: All right, all right, fine.
Stand up armor. I'll grab the wrapped note egg and head out.
[00:17:39] Speaker A: All right. When you get to the side of the boat, the water has gone from murky brown to, like, weirdly rusty. There seems to be a lot of blood in the water.
[00:17:49] Speaker E: So a man fell overboard, and I thought, if I jump over, I will probably just also be a pool of blood and not very effective. I wanted you to have the opportunity to do something different.
[00:18:02] Speaker C: I mean, we just talked about this, like, two days ago.
There's a giant crocodile in this section of the river.
[00:18:14] Speaker E: I am aware of that. I am not telling you to jump overboard, but I did not know if you would be angry if I did not wake you up in the morning.
[00:18:21] Speaker C: No.
[00:18:22] Speaker E: Okay, well, she's like. I also remembered that you rode a giant crocodile before and prevailed.
[00:18:30] Speaker C: Yeah, I did. But it wasn't 04:00 a.m. In the morning.
And that croc was after us. And this individual. How long has it been?
[00:18:39] Speaker E: An hour?
[00:18:40] Speaker C: What exactly did you want me to do?
[00:18:44] Speaker E: You seem to jump at opportunities like this. Sometimes yours. I thought you might jump at this one.
[00:18:49] Speaker C: Well, if maybe I had gotten a little warm up, or this person hadn't already been that for an hour, I could help. But this seems like man down is already gone.
[00:19:05] Speaker E: She looks around at the rest of the crew to gauge their thoughts on this.
[00:19:09] Speaker A: They haven't given up because they haven't been told that they're allowed to give up yet.
[00:19:13] Speaker D: Creighton will ask if this is things like this or something that happen regularly.
[00:19:17] Speaker A: No, the lock is usually absolutely calm. It's incredibly weird to have just, like, waves out of nowhere.
[00:19:26] Speaker D: The allfather, he's got a taste of me. And once more.
[00:19:32] Speaker E: When the allfather didn't kill anybody before, he just had his way with the boat.
[00:19:39] Speaker A: You wish he was out to kill it.
[00:19:41] Speaker C: Best use of a love potion ever.
[00:19:44] Speaker E: Accidental use of a love potion.
Well, Boulain will take out some of her oil, and she will bless the Blood patch in the water and be like, I am sorry.
[00:19:56] Speaker A: Roll me a nature roll.
[00:19:57] Speaker C: I was going to say. I'll also join you in rights 14.
[00:20:03] Speaker A: It's not behaving like blood.
[00:20:05] Speaker E: What?
[00:20:06] Speaker A: When you pour oil on it, the reaction is not normal. You suspect that's not blood?
[00:20:11] Speaker E: It's not blood.
[00:20:12] Speaker A: B maybe it's some kind of, like, red sediment.
[00:20:15] Speaker E: She says, I do not think that is actually blood. I think that is clay from the river bottom.
[00:20:20] Speaker C: All right, let's go through a couple of scenarios real quick.
[00:20:25] Speaker E: All right.
[00:20:26] Speaker C: Okay. One, that's blood and a man died here. Two, that's clay from the bottom that was kicked up by something large that shook the boat.
Either way, I think it's a sign that the boat should move.
[00:20:43] Speaker E: And whoever fell overboard has been under for more than an hour. They cannot survive that.
[00:20:50] Speaker C: Or they're unable to call out for help, which means we won't find them.
[00:20:54] Speaker D: Creed, and make sure the max and dread are still in the boat.
[00:20:56] Speaker A: Max and Dredd are still in the boat. They were dead asleep.
[00:21:00] Speaker C: They're dead. No.
[00:21:04] Speaker E: Wait a second.
[00:21:05] Speaker D: All right.
[00:21:06] Speaker E: She goes to the captain of the boat and says, we should move the boat.
[00:21:09] Speaker A: Yeah. Okay. I'm in agreement. All right, everybody. The priest says we move.
[00:21:13] Speaker D: It's great to know if one of us fell overboard, everybody would just stand around for an hour and then leave.
[00:21:26] Speaker A: You travel for the next day. It is absolutely uneventful. And you arrive at Turtle Bay.
[00:21:33] Speaker E: Yay.
[00:21:34] Speaker A: Turtle Bay is interesting because you've been running around the provinces for a while, and the provinces are sort of lawless and godless in a lot of ways. Like, they tend to have a single priest for one of the ten gods.
Every city in Astragar proper has a priest for every one of the ten gods, doing their functions, operating out of a city hall. It's a very bureaucratic kind of experience. Turtle Bay, on the surface, looks like a modern city to you all. There is all of the functions. There are symbols of the church and symbols of the gods above all the doorways. You feel like you are in Astragar, except there's this weird undercurrent that seems to run through the city everywhere you go. The energy isn't quite what you'd expect. You don't see pious people praying. You see people carousing in the streets. You see people selling wares all over.
It's actually kind of hard to find the temples, but all the imagery is around Boulain. This is exactly how you left this place.
It is governed fundamentally differently than the rest of the empire. Basically, the navy is essentially in charge here, and their whole job is to keep the coin lords from overthrowing them.
[00:22:53] Speaker E: Yep. Just how I left it. As we get into Turtle Bay, she says, I did send a message to Admiral Lunari that we would like to meet with him when we arrive, so we could go see him first, if you like.
[00:23:05] Speaker C: Sounds good to me.
[00:23:06] Speaker D: So, Admiral Lunari is kind of like the de facto leader of Turtle Bay.
[00:23:11] Speaker E: He is the admiral in charge of the navy faction that is stationed in Turtle Bay.
[00:23:16] Speaker A: There is a mayor, but the mayor has virtually no power compared to Admiral Lunari, who has an army and a.
[00:23:24] Speaker C: Fleet of ships and a divine mandate.
[00:23:27] Speaker A: He is a paladin of sister truth. Specifically, you arrive at a massive ship that just towers over all of the other ones, covered in symbols of sister truth, just from the top to the bottom. The deck is covered in sailors in perfect uniform standing at attention. You don't know the last time this ship actually left harbor. This ship appears to be the flagship and doesn't look like it's seen a lot of fighting. You head up the dock. There's a naval clerk who meets you and recognizes Boulain immediately and says, oh, the admiral is expecting you. I'm going to cancel his next appointment. He should be available in about maybe 10 minutes.
[00:24:08] Speaker E: Wonderful.
[00:24:09] Speaker A: If you'll just head over to his door, he'll be there momentarily.
[00:24:12] Speaker E: Thank you very much.
[00:24:13] Speaker A: Just as you get to a rather fancy looking door with just one big tapestry of sister truth over the top of it, it swings open, and about seven different clerks kind of walk out holding ledgers, and the admiral says, thank you. That'll be all, gentlemen. Oh, Willaine, you're here. Come on in. Coming in.
[00:24:31] Speaker E: It is good to see you.
[00:24:33] Speaker A: Admiral Theo Lunari of Sister Truth is a naval trained paladin. He is currently dressed in basically clerical robes. He is late middle aged. He's still got a full head of fairly thin white hair, and he's got a fighter's build to him, but it's definitely an older man. He comes in and sits down at his desk and does the groan. You hear his knee pop, and he leans back and. Ah, Boulain. Welcome back. I was expecting you to be gone for longer, but please, come sit.
[00:25:09] Speaker E: I was also expecting to be gone for longer, and I do not know how long we are staying. Can I introduce. This is Cirrus. Does Cirrus have a last name?
[00:25:17] Speaker C: Yeah, I do. It's Alu. Let me character sheet check.
[00:25:24] Speaker D: Not important.
[00:25:25] Speaker C: It's aluvar.
[00:25:27] Speaker E: This is Zuris. Aluvar, this is creed. And Brightwind. This is dread zero. And Max.
[00:25:34] Speaker A: Max Killington.
[00:25:37] Speaker E: And Max Killington.
[00:25:43] Speaker A: Max says, you can call me Max. Kill.
[00:25:46] Speaker E: Oh, my God. We have been doing some work for Tanglebeard out of Tuscan.
[00:25:51] Speaker A: Well, I've heard good things. You handled a big problem in Hilock. Congratulations. The empire has not had it so good in the provinces in a long time. To bring law and order to this part of the country is rare. Well done.
[00:26:05] Speaker E: Thank you.
[00:26:06] Speaker C: It's not without hard work, but thank you.
[00:26:09] Speaker A: So, what brings you back?
[00:26:11] Speaker E: Well, we had been asked to help with the dragon problem in the swamp in about three weeks and heard that you were coordinating some of that effort.
[00:26:21] Speaker A: I am. We're about 15 days away. I'm waiting for a few of my ships to come back in so we can rally the right elite men. And I'm having a few ballista assembled in the meantime.
[00:26:32] Speaker C: Any other happenings that we should be aware of?
[00:26:36] Speaker A: He flips open a notebook and kind of looks through it and says, the catacombs have been shut down.
[00:26:41] Speaker E: Why?
[00:26:42] Speaker A: Well, your replacement found an undead in them and insists that the whole place needs to be reconsecrated.
[00:26:48] Speaker E: Oh, dear. Well, I can go and help them with that.
[00:26:52] Speaker A: I'm not sure they'll accept.
[00:26:53] Speaker E: Help who?
[00:26:54] Speaker A: They seem to be upset with you.
[00:26:56] Speaker E: With me?
[00:26:57] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:26:57] Speaker E: Why?
[00:26:58] Speaker A: I don't know. I don't know the answer to that. If an undead were allowed to rise, presumably one of the bodies was not properly treated.
[00:27:07] Speaker E: That is not possible.
[00:27:08] Speaker A: You'd have to talk to them about it. Anyway, I told them not to make an issue of it. You were a dedicated priest, and this is clearly something else afoot. And they agreed that they would not spread any unprovable rumors. However.
[00:27:23] Speaker E: Who are they?
[00:27:24] Speaker A: Imston drailing.
[00:27:26] Speaker E: Do you know this person?
[00:27:27] Speaker A: Roll me history, please. You have advantage there in your church.
[00:27:33] Speaker E: Oh, good thing with the advantage, the other one was a three.
That's an 18.
[00:27:39] Speaker A: You have heard of Imston? They were very cloistered. But you've heard of them because they're an 800 year old elf. They are on death's door. They are so ancient, even by elven standards, they should be dead.
[00:27:54] Speaker E: Like, might be unnaturally alive.
[00:27:56] Speaker A: Even they looked the part. Okay, if they are unnaturally alive, they did not get any benefits.
[00:28:05] Speaker E: Belain cocks her head to the side and says, emston. I cannot imagine why they would send Emston to manage Turtle Bay.
[00:28:15] Speaker A: I am told that Emston was available at the time that the request was made and apparently requested the post. Apparently they'd like to spend their last days near the ocean.
[00:28:30] Speaker E: Well, we can go and see about the sun. Dead. Thank you for telling me.
[00:28:37] Speaker C: Can you describe Imston for me?
[00:28:39] Speaker A: Oh, yes, of, you know, four and a half feet tall, hunched over posture. They walk with a limp. They are incredibly wrinkled. They have a few gray hairs, long gray hairs on the top of their head. They're very old. And an elf.
[00:28:56] Speaker C: Any recent disfigurements?
[00:28:59] Speaker A: Oh, no, I'm sorry.
[00:29:02] Speaker C: Let me. Allow me to rephrase my question.
Have you seen any around town?
[00:29:08] Speaker A: No. There are some odd happenings, though. He flips through. Gon Rolsk, the priest of the radiant one, is the actual mayor. His role is mostly ceremonial. Honestly, some of gone's parishioners have gone missing. The last full moon, three of his parishioners disappeared.
[00:29:25] Speaker E: Three?
[00:29:26] Speaker A: Three.
[00:29:26] Speaker E: What would I roll to know if there's a correlation between Vecna and the full moon religion?
19.
[00:29:33] Speaker A: So, as a God of secrets, it's hard to know because Vecna purposefully hid all of their. Pretty much all of their associations. But as far as you know, there's no moon association.
[00:29:44] Speaker E: Okay.
[00:29:45] Speaker A: Some strange buoys have been appearing in the harbor over the last two or three weeks. The harbor master reports.
[00:29:52] Speaker E: What is strange about them?
[00:29:54] Speaker A: They're not official buoys put out by the harbor master, so that alone is quite strange. The harbor master went out and investigated and says that they're just a buoy tethered with an anchor. We thought maybe it was smugglers. We brought one in and it was replaced.
So someone seems to be placing them all around the turtle.
[00:30:18] Speaker C: And there's no other markings or anything?
[00:30:21] Speaker A: It's just a buoy.
[00:30:22] Speaker D: Are they being placed in a particular pattern, like a circle or anything?
[00:30:28] Speaker A: Harbor master's leading the investigation.
I can't tell you for sure if they're in a pattern. You'll have to see what he's come up with.
[00:30:36] Speaker B: I haven't actually gone and boated around.
[00:30:39] Speaker A: Them strange buoys, as interesting as that is, just hasn't been top priority.
[00:30:46] Speaker E: That is an excellent question. If he has mapped them out, perhaps we could see a pattern.
[00:30:50] Speaker A: Oh, there's been more sightings of the flagship endurance. Roll me. Actually, Blaine, you don't need to roll history for this. So the endurance is the ghost ship? It is the local cryptid boogeyman experience. So the ship endurance was a trade vessel. It disappeared. And supposedly it appears randomly, only at night, covered in sort of like zombified pirates. And they attack any vessel they can come in contact with. And that disappears by the light of day.
[00:31:21] Speaker E: Interesting. And disconcerting.
[00:31:23] Speaker A: Yeah. Increased presence of a ghost ship. Generally, we suspect it's just a pirate pirating at night. Not enough evidence to figure out which pirate it was, so they blame the endurance. But apparently there's been some credible sightings.
[00:31:37] Speaker E: She looks at Zerus and Creedon and says, it is rumored to have a zombie crew of sailors.
[00:31:44] Speaker C: Oh, interesting.
[00:31:46] Speaker A: He flips through and says, other than that, I've got 50 reports of a dragon sighting north of town, which I think you're all cut up.
[00:31:53] Speaker E: We are familiar with that one, yes.
[00:31:55] Speaker C: Green, right?
[00:31:55] Speaker A: Black, I am told.
[00:31:57] Speaker E: Acid breath.
[00:31:59] Speaker D: What do you know of the pirate queen?
[00:32:01] Speaker A: Roll me. Persuasion. Claire.
[00:32:06] Speaker D: Ooh, that's going to be a good one. That is a 26.
[00:32:11] Speaker A: He leans in and says, ah, not surprising. A bright wind has their eye on the top. Priorities. Pirate queen is a little bit hard to pin down. We believe the pirate queen's fleet has four ships. Each one is captained by a woman. And no one can tell me which one is the pirate queen. Descriptions vary widely, so that's where we're at. The pirate queen belongs to what I would call the anti empire faction. They specifically oppose astragarian rule everywhere, particularly in Turtle Bay and Fenrir.
[00:32:50] Speaker E: Has she been causing any problems for the normal trade routes?
[00:32:55] Speaker A: She typically ignores the trade routes and focuses all of her attacks on lone navy vessels whenever she can find them.
Circling them. With all four ships, she has a tendency to sink them rather than take hostages.
[00:33:08] Speaker C: Hey, Dredd. We miss any important questions?
[00:33:12] Speaker A: Any one of these could be a conspiracy. You should get a list of powerful people.
[00:33:18] Speaker E: I can probably provide that list.
[00:33:20] Speaker A: Admiral Lunari says, I strongly suspect Boulain can provide that list. I have a wanted wall for pirates. And, of course, the coin lords are known by everyone in town. I'm sure you can find all the information you need, but unfortunately, that's going to put you with a lot of suspects, my friend. Five coin lords, ten empirical officials.
No less than twelve pirates. Major pirate groups.
[00:33:47] Speaker E: Well, I doubt we will seek to arrest all of the population of Turtle Bay, admiral.
[00:33:54] Speaker A: That's good, because I don't think you'd succeed. I should probably issue your associates a warning, since you know, the coin lords could afford small mercenary armies. They decided they wanted to. They could probably overpower the navy if they pulled their forces together. Luckily, they don't want to. We protect them from pirates, they make a lot of money for the empire, and they pay their taxes.
Point being, if you're going to mess with a coin lord, let's just say, be incredibly careful. Maybe recruit the other coin lords against them first. If they think the empire's pulling one over on them, we might lose Turtle Bay.
[00:34:36] Speaker B: All right.
[00:34:37] Speaker C: Delicate.
[00:34:37] Speaker E: Very a delicate web, as I said.
[00:34:40] Speaker A: But feel free to beat up any pirates you want. They are. Specifically. Even when they're on the dull off the record.
And all of them are wanted.
[00:34:49] Speaker C: Noted.
[00:34:50] Speaker E: Admiral, one last question.
The somewhat personal matter that took me out of town before. Do you know anything about that?
[00:35:01] Speaker A: Not really. Actually, we ran out of reasons to hold the gentleman in question and released him. I did have someone keeping tabs on him. Apparently has done nothing suspicious. If you come back tomorrow, I could probably get you an address.
[00:35:17] Speaker E: I would appreciate that. It would help me to know which places to avoid.
[00:35:21] Speaker A: All right. He flips through his notes and says, I'll have my person get me where he's staying. But he rather loves a certain tavern. The sleeping cinnamon pub down by the docks.
[00:35:35] Speaker E: I know it.
[00:35:36] Speaker A: It's his favorite, so maybe avoid that one.
[00:35:38] Speaker E: Will do. What do I know about the sleeping cinnamon?
[00:35:42] Speaker A: It is a pub on the docks for dock workers. It is a rough and tumble place. It is run by a kenku, which is a raven man. They come from the feywild. They are mostly bird people. And you know that he can only repeat words. He cannot create new words. He can only repeat sentences. He cannot create new sentences. But he's been here for probably 20 years and has a really big vocabulary.
[00:36:09] Speaker E: Okay. All right. Thank you, admiral. That is very helpful. All of this has been very helpful. It is good to see you.
[00:36:15] Speaker A: Yes. Well, enjoy your stay wherever you decide to stay. And as always, my door is always open to agents of the empire. And my door is always open for you.
[00:36:25] Speaker B: Belain.
[00:36:26] Speaker C: Can the navy not put us, um.
[00:36:29] Speaker A: We could definitely put you up. Although the accommodations are not glamorous.
[00:36:33] Speaker C: Never mind, then.
[00:36:34] Speaker E: Billain looks at him with a little bit of a frown.
[00:36:40] Speaker D: Where can I find the finest hats in Turtle Bay?
[00:36:52] Speaker B: Gather around, apprentices. Today we talk of love.
The fairies are creatures of a singular nature.
[00:36:59] Speaker A: They are trapped in a cycle started.
[00:37:02] Speaker B: On the day of their birth, unable to change their desires. Mortals are different for one reason. We are gifted by divine mercy, power of emotion. Common folk might call them the goddess of love, but this is just an old favorite, a very complex divinity. There once was a tribe of humans, far to the north, who lived for the art of war. From the moment a child could hold a weapon, they trained for the day they would do violence. For violence was considered the nature of humanity at the time. Of course, when one has a sword, the world is ready to be cut. And when one trains with it, the world appears as flimsy as leaves.
It is a dangerous person who roams this world with sword and hand and violence on their mind. But perhaps unnecessary person.
In a world of storms and dragons, when a great battle came. And north and south fought in rage. It was, of course, the north that won. For the world was, in fact, a fragile leaf before their blades.
But something happened that would change both tribes. That began on that day.
Some say that divine mercy rode the battlefield with her arrows of love.
[00:38:21] Speaker A: Atop a steed of passion.
[00:38:22] Speaker B: And fired into the warriors as they fought. But that is a silly story. True followers of mercy understand that no single action and no outside force creates love. Love is a pot of water, a warm fire. And a gentle rain.
These three elements are placed inside of every mortal.
[00:38:46] Speaker A: And through time and connection.
[00:38:48] Speaker B: They combine to form still water.
Boiling ferocity. An empty pot, charred and dry. And back again to still water filled by gentle rain. It just so happened that on this day of war, the fires were hot on this season of the mind. The gentle rain had filled the pot. And the battle brought the fire to the water.
Let us not get lost in metaphor. One warrior saw to the injuries of another. Having been intrigued in their dance of death.
By the end of the seasons, they were in love. A year from then, the two were three.
[00:39:28] Speaker A: And another year, they were four.
[00:39:30] Speaker B: It was for love that the family decided to change everything.
When rage again came between north and south. The two warriors refused to battle. For they saw the violence in their nature. And knew that it was placed there not of their own choosing. But by the poor choice of those who came before.
The two lovers spoke to their leaders. One south and one north. And in the end, they agreed. The two lovers would fight at the end of a festival. And no one else would need die. For the winner would decide their fate.
The tribes came together under a single tent. And a great feast was prepared. But each day a rain, gentle and cold, spoiled the battlefield. And each night, the people of the tribes huddled for warmth and spoke their minds. On the day the rain stopped and the festival ended, the tribal leaders spoke and declared the fight unnecessary. For they had reached agreement. In the day's nights of discussion, this miracle was a simple one. A full pot of water. A burning fire. The gathering of the elements.
Over time, the two tribes grew as one. Under the leadership of the lovers. The first two priests of divine mercy. And the north surrendered their way of the sword. For after a while, it was simply unnecessary to fill a world with violent intent. And so you see, apprentices, how the goddess of emotion works to ignite in all of us the power to change.
But the change is a subtle one. It takes time and talk. It takes understanding and compassion. It takes work.
But the gift of the goddess is undeniable.
Fill the pot with gentle rain light the fires and take the time to bring together our hearts and we will find the truths that change our world.
Back to work.
[00:41:41] Speaker A: Let's start off with a quick level six review. Mandy, what's new with Belaine these days?
[00:41:47] Speaker E: Okay. She is up to a whole 45 hit points.
She gained a level three spell slot, and she got the grave domain feature sentinel at death door, which is neat because that means if I or any of my allies get hit with a critical hit, I can turn it into a normal hit and cancel out any of the effects that a critical hit would have caused.
[00:42:12] Speaker B: Excellent.
[00:42:13] Speaker E: Oh, and my channel divinity. I can now do that two times per day or per long rest instead of one.
[00:42:19] Speaker A: Awesome. All right, Creedon. What's new with Creedon?
[00:42:23] Speaker D: Not too much. I am sitting at 51 hp. I got a special new ability from my patron, but I don't know if it's been super clearly revealed what the deal with my patron is, so I'm going to keep that one close to the chest.
[00:42:37] Speaker A: Okay? Keep that to your pocket.
[00:42:39] Speaker D: And I got a new spell. I got counterspell, and then I replaced misty step with thunderstep.
[00:42:46] Speaker A: Excellent. Robert, what's new with Xeris?
[00:42:48] Speaker C: Well, I'm deepening my connection with nodig by taking a dip into Hexblade. You let me change out one of my feats for the gift of the chromatic dragon, which I have. And now I have all the delicious Hexblade features that I get to use, such as Hexblade's curse, which will increase my damage. Chromatic dragon infusion, which will increase my damage. You also let me take some deep magic spells by cobalt press, so I'll be enjoying the spells dragon's roar from that book, as well as mage hand armor of agathas and hellish rebuke Ziris.
[00:43:26] Speaker A: Now also a warlock of love. Just one specific man on dragon relationship.
[00:43:33] Speaker E: His love is his weapon.
[00:43:36] Speaker C: It's a love of money.
[00:43:37] Speaker D: His patron, Mr. Krabs.
[00:43:48] Speaker A: All right, so you folks leave Admiral Lunari's office and find yourself in Turtle Bay. Turtle Bay is a massive bay and a massive city with about 30,000 regular people who live here and a huge influx of people from trade ships all the time, the city is overwhelmed with sailors, different vendors. It is a commercial hub at an extreme level. So everywhere you look, there's someone trying to hawk something, and there's a variety of goods and things you've just never seen before. They have not made it up to Astragar. They're just weird doodads. Strange spices, bizarre smells. There are all kinds of street vendors producing foods of different kinds, things you wouldn't think to eat, things you have eaten, but prepared very strangely. Welcome to a metropolis. Boulain, I need a d 20 roll.
[00:44:46] Speaker E: Okay.
Eleven.
[00:44:49] Speaker A: You folks step out into a significant crowd. It's a wonderful day outside, and no one recognizes Boulain immediately.
[00:44:58] Speaker E: I will say she has pulled up her hood because she has the very white hair. So she's pulled up her hood to cover her hair, and she has her veil on, and she is looking through Sadie's eyes, where Sadie is perched on her shoulder.
[00:45:12] Speaker A: Okay. What would you like to do, folks? You have a number of leads from Admiral Lunari.
[00:45:17] Speaker E: Well, Creedon wanted to go shopping.
[00:45:20] Speaker D: I need a hat, and so does everyone that we're traveling with. We all need really good hats.
[00:45:26] Speaker C: I heard there was a good shop for hats at beach Crown.
[00:45:31] Speaker E: I'm imagining there's a whole dockside bazaar going on in this town. It's just a hopping place.
[00:45:38] Speaker A: Main bazaar. A dockside bazaar. Side roads have street vendors all over the place. There is nothing quiet or sedate about Turtle Bay.
[00:45:48] Speaker E: Right? So I think if hats are in question, Boulain will take everybody to the hat vendors that she knows.
[00:45:56] Speaker A: Okay. Yeah, you can head down. There's a few of them. There's a hat vendor associated pretty much with each one of the major shipping companies. So you can find hats from the fairy wild, which are covered in all kinds of bizarre colors and feathers and strange leathers you've never seen before. There are hats from the desert, wasteland continent, which apparently has a town in it somewhere that is selling things, but think turbans and vales. You can find hats from the western lands, which is really just a massive mountain range. So cold weather gear, et cetera. What are you interested in?
[00:46:36] Speaker D: Creedon wants to find a leather hat that looks like a wide brimmed witch hat with a giant green feather on it.
[00:46:46] Speaker A: Roll me. Persuasion.
[00:46:48] Speaker E: All right.
[00:46:51] Speaker D: That is a 19, right?
[00:46:53] Speaker A: You find an interesting creature. You might describe it as a goblin. It's clearly a fairy creature. It looks like a strangely animalistic old man who happens to have the hat, exactly, that you're looking for, perched on a little pedestal in his tiny little cart, and he'll grab it and say.
[00:47:12] Speaker B: Excuse me, ma'am, would you like this hat?
[00:47:15] Speaker A: It would look great on your head.
[00:47:17] Speaker D: I was thinking the exact same thing.
[00:47:18] Speaker A: Here, try it on. Try it on.
[00:47:20] Speaker D: She does.
[00:47:21] Speaker A: Oh, wow. Okay. Wonderful, wonderful. Five silver. And it's all yours.
[00:47:26] Speaker D: She turns to the party. How's it look?
[00:47:29] Speaker E: Vulain cocks her head to the side and says, two silver.
[00:47:33] Speaker A: Oh, God, my spleen. Oh, you hit me right in. Spleen. Two silver. I need to feed my children's mouths. My children's mouths need to be fed.
[00:47:42] Speaker E: Four.
[00:47:42] Speaker A: Four silver.
[00:47:43] Speaker E: Three and a half.
[00:47:46] Speaker A: You drive a hard bargain, but three and a half it will be.
[00:47:49] Speaker D: Creed and tappy with this. Oh my God. How many copper and a silver ten. Okay.
Oh, I have to break a silver because I only have four copper. Okay.
[00:48:02] Speaker E: Oh, shit.
[00:48:03] Speaker A: It's on now, guys. We're doing currency conversions.
[00:48:07] Speaker D: Same price. Creedon wants to find a hat that looks good on dread.
[00:48:11] Speaker A: Oh, boy.
[00:48:12] Speaker E: I think Boulain will go looking through a hat pile to see if she can find dread a hat or see if she finds something that would suit him.
[00:48:19] Speaker A: Boulain, roll me an investigate role.
[00:48:21] Speaker D: It's probably for the best. Creedon would put him in something ridiculous.
[00:48:24] Speaker E: That's pretty good. That's an 18.
[00:48:27] Speaker A: It turns out that the hat for dread, it just matches his face. Is this beret, almost obviously black? And it has this black feather coming out of it that seems to somehow work with his face.
[00:48:42] Speaker E: Yeah. Okay. So she picks up this hat and she looks at him, and then she puts it on his head, and she skews the beret in the direction of his hair and then has the feather going the other way as this counterbalance to the hair in his face and says, how about that?
[00:48:56] Speaker D: It's perfect.
[00:48:59] Speaker A: Dread lets a hat be put on his head and adjusted and then does not say a word. Yep. But you can get that hat for the same deal. Which brings us to. Anybody else want to shop? Anything?
[00:49:09] Speaker D: Okay. How many silver and a gold. Is it also 1010? Okay. Well, then there's that other one that nobody uses. I get so confused by the conversion.
[00:49:18] Speaker A: We will not be using electrum, I promise. I don't want to do any. Everything's divisible by ten in this world.
[00:49:26] Speaker C: I want a rabbit fur hat.
[00:49:29] Speaker A: Done. You find a vendor from the western lands. It's a really hardy looking, scarred faced man leans in and says, can I interest you in something fine fur? I've got rabbit. I've got bear. I've got musk ox. I've got lynx.
[00:49:48] Speaker C: Rabbit.
[00:49:49] Speaker A: Rabbit. All right.
[00:49:50] Speaker C: I need the finest rabbit fur hat you have.
[00:49:53] Speaker A: I have white rabbit harvested in the winter, or I have a gray harvested in the summer gray. And he gives you a wonderfully warm rabbit skin hat.
[00:50:06] Speaker C: Do you have a fine silver brochure.
[00:50:10] Speaker A: Yes, I do. And he picks out a beautiful array of silver jewelry. You can pick out whatever, however much you would like to spend.
[00:50:20] Speaker C: I look for something that is angular and has small jewels that are encrusted in it, and I'll pay up to 20 gold.
[00:50:28] Speaker A: Okay. Roll me a persuasion check.
[00:50:30] Speaker C: All right. Yeah, persuasion check. That's only a seven.
[00:50:34] Speaker A: Seven. All right. Cost you 20 gold. Okay.
[00:50:36] Speaker E: I think Boule does not bargain for zeros because she is really confused about why he's doing the things he's doing.
[00:50:44] Speaker C: So I take the silver brooch and I put it asymmetrically in the hat. And I put the fucking hat on.
[00:50:49] Speaker A: Yep. You look warm, Zaris.
[00:50:51] Speaker D: You clean up nice.
[00:50:53] Speaker C: Thank you. I'm trying to blend in. Is it working? Do I need an eye patch?
[00:50:57] Speaker D: Yes, with a big ruby in it.
Actually, that might mess with your depth perception, so maybe that's not the best idea.
[00:51:05] Speaker C: Probably not.
[00:51:05] Speaker E: Boulain will find. She'll go to seven's old favorite hat vendor and find a hat for her granddaughter for when we run into her.
[00:51:13] Speaker A: Okay, three silver it is. And you have a lovely hat.
[00:51:17] Speaker E: Great.
[00:51:18] Speaker D: Max has his own money. He should be able to buy his own hat.
[00:51:21] Speaker A: Max does not buy a hat. In fact, he buys a hawaiian button up shirt that he does not button up.
[00:51:28] Speaker D: Creedon frowns at him.
[00:51:33] Speaker E: Does he buy himself a lay, too? Put that around his.
[00:51:37] Speaker A: No, no.
[00:51:38] Speaker E: Too much, too much. Too much. Too frilly.
[00:51:41] Speaker D: Also, Creighton is. You all notice that Creighton is incredibly giddy. She is a city girl. She is so happy to be in a place that she considers civilization again. And this is her first time getting to spend money that she's earned. She's very exciting.
[00:51:56] Speaker E: Boulain, for all that, she was nervous about coming back here, seems to just blend with the place. And she seems pretty at home. And so she takes everybody to her favorite food vendor and says, here is the best street food I can recommend and treats everybody all around to tacos.
[00:52:14] Speaker A: Your favorite street vendor does seem to recognize you, but doesn't make a big deal out of it.
[00:52:18] Speaker E: So she goes, here, these are the fish tacos. These are the best you can get in the empire.
[00:52:23] Speaker C: I do quite enjoy a good fish taco.
[00:52:27] Speaker D: Credent loves it. She's very sick of rations also. Just tell me how much this is going to cost. We don't have to roleplay it, but Creedon is going to buy herself and dread very cool capes.
[00:52:39] Speaker A: Spend one gold on really good capes.
[00:52:41] Speaker D: All right.
[00:52:43] Speaker C: I will also buy a fur lined.
[00:52:45] Speaker A: Cape or a cloak. Oh, excellent. Spend a gold, and you now have a fine clothing outfit. So Max freezes, and he's like, oh, my God, is that what I think it is?
[00:52:55] Speaker E: What?
[00:52:56] Speaker A: And you follow his gaze, and you look across, and there is something that's called guyme.
[00:53:03] Speaker E: Guy.
[00:53:04] Speaker A: G-Y-M-E-G-Y-M. Gaime.
[00:53:12] Speaker E: I think that is a place where you pick up heavy objects and put them down again.
[00:53:19] Speaker A: Oh, shit, dread. Let's go get blasted. And dread's like, oh, God.
Hey, if you need me, I'm going to be in this thing.
[00:53:27] Speaker E: All right, all right.
[00:53:29] Speaker D: You sure you don't want to go keep him company?
[00:53:31] Speaker A: Dread dredd says I should. He will get distracted.
[00:53:36] Speaker D: Just don't get too much sweating. Or Kate.
[00:53:43] Speaker A: Dredd follows in someone who looks like Tommy Bahama, and the two of them have a wonderful time in the gym. Disappear, leaving you three to your own devices.
[00:53:53] Speaker E: Elaine says, well, I have apparently an undead issue to address in the catacombs.
[00:54:00] Speaker C: We're going to see Ralst. Great.
[00:54:02] Speaker D: Gon ralst. Gon ralst. The priest of the radiant one, that.
[00:54:06] Speaker E: Is the mayor, and there are some parishioners missing. Yes.
[00:54:10] Speaker C: Oh, is Ralsk the mayor? I thought Ralst was the.
[00:54:13] Speaker E: Emsten is the elf who took over Boulain's job when she left. And apparently there are undead in the catacombs, and he thinks she's responsible.
[00:54:21] Speaker A: She? Emstein's a she?
[00:54:23] Speaker E: Imston's a she. I'm sorry.
[00:54:24] Speaker C: All right. Yeah. Do you want to start talking with Gaul or just head straight to Emston?
[00:54:29] Speaker E: Well, I would like to see what the undead issue is in the catacombs, because I guarantee you, and I will not deny I am worried about my reputation on this one. But I did not leave any job undone, so I would like to know what is going on there. And since we know Vegna has a history of undead, I am worried about what we will find there regarding him.
[00:54:52] Speaker C: All right, let's go.
[00:54:53] Speaker D: Creedon says, I will not tolerate anybody tarnishing your reputation.
[00:54:58] Speaker E: I appreciate that, Creedon. So we're heading to the catacombs.
[00:55:02] Speaker A: Okay. The catacombs from the outside immediately looks a little different than when you were here maybe two months ago. Three months ago. The main difference being there are six armed guards, essentially, in front of a funeral home. Yeah.
[00:55:17] Speaker E: Okay. She says, guards, are you here because of. Why are you here?
[00:55:24] Speaker A: They look at you. One of them says, are you? And he tries to glance around your veil, which is a big task, and he says, are you Boulane?
[00:55:34] Speaker E: I am.
[00:55:35] Speaker A: Oh, shit. Yeah. Let me get the boss. And he opens the door and says, boss, you got a visitor. Death priest. And a positively teetering old lady comes out. They are supported by two handed walking sticks. It looks painful to watch them walk. They're an elf, which means they must be 800 years old or something. This person is truly on death door.
[00:56:06] Speaker E: And I think we established last time, Boulain has actually met this person before. At least knows who they are.
[00:56:12] Speaker A: You know who they are? By reputation. They were in Astragar when you trained. They were the other elf, and they were old then, and that was 300 years ago.
[00:56:22] Speaker E: All right, she says, madame Enston. How do you do?
[00:56:26] Speaker A: She leans forward on her two canes and squints at you, and you see something strange about her eyes. Her pupils are a different shape than you would expect, and they look a little glazed over. And she says, are you your belain? Yes.
[00:56:43] Speaker E: At your service. What shape are her pupils?
[00:56:47] Speaker A: Crescent Moon.
[00:56:49] Speaker E: Is there a role I can do.
[00:56:51] Speaker B: For this religion would be delightful.
[00:56:53] Speaker C: Okay, both of them are crescent moon.
[00:56:56] Speaker E: Oh, that's not good. I rolled a two. She doesn't know that's a six.
[00:57:02] Speaker A: Yep. That's not natural, right?
[00:57:04] Speaker E: Okay.
[00:57:05] Speaker A: But you are not able. You don't recognize it.
[00:57:07] Speaker E: Emston, may we come in?
[00:57:09] Speaker A: I'd rather you didn't. There is a significant disarray inside right now as we begin to sort and purify everything.
[00:57:20] Speaker E: We can help.
[00:57:22] Speaker A: I'm certain you can, but I don't require help at the moment. But introduce me to your friends.
[00:57:30] Speaker E: This is Zuris. And I'm sorry I asked you your last name last time, and I don't remember.
[00:57:36] Speaker C: That's right. I'm Zerus aluvar. I follow justice.
[00:57:41] Speaker E: And this is Creed and Brightwind.
[00:57:44] Speaker A: Oh, yes, brightwind. Any relation to the archbishop?
[00:57:49] Speaker D: Yeah, Boulay and I tend to not like using my last name unless I need it.
[00:57:53] Speaker E: I know that.
[00:57:54] Speaker D: Oh, okay.
[00:57:57] Speaker A: I guess since you're all upstanding church officials, if we are attacked or some other thing, I guess your safety would be more assured than if you had brought along pedestrians. Okay. Come on in.
[00:58:15] Speaker C: What would we be attacked by?
[00:58:17] Speaker A: Oh, the undead have risen. Just a few, but they're a sneaky bunch. And she teeters her way into the catacombs. So the start of the catacombs is a funeral home. Mandy, would you like to describe Boulain's place of business?
[00:58:33] Speaker E: Well, the funeral home is a fairly serene place. So the catacombs are embedded in a mountain. We dug them out of a mountain. And so the funeral home is outside of that mountain, so it's well lit. There's a lot of sunlight that comes in. And it's a main room parlor, and there's a few different rooms that branch off of that, where more than one funeral can happen at a time. Every single one of them has a shrine to the silent judge, and then they also have shrines that are adaptable. So if the dead was a sister truth follower, we can do it up like that. But it is a very airy, open and pretty place. It's soothing. The walls are very thick, so the sound is very muted, and it's just comfortable. It's a place for the morning to come. And then at the back is where there's a big, heavy double door that opens into the back, which starts getting you into the mountains. And back there is where the mortuary is. It's also where the autopsy room is. It's where all of the less glamorous parts of dealing with the dead happen. And then beyond that is where the tunnels into the catacombs start, where everybody is actually buried.
[00:59:49] Speaker A: Big, thick curtains have been put up, blocking view into the working area. And as you come into the funeral home portion, the morning space, it is pretty much how you left it. And you sit down in some plush, overstuffed chairs in the funeral parlor, and your host teeters over to a large chair and flops down into it with a groan and says, what brings you all back?
[01:00:20] Speaker E: Well, we are here because the admiral mentioned the undead problem. Emston, what happened? What started happening?
[01:00:28] Speaker A: Well, I got here about six days after you left. My travel time was not wonderful, but I got here, and when I arrived, everything seemed to be in order. But as I was doing an initial walk through of the catacombs, I encountered an animated skeleton.
[01:00:48] Speaker C: When was this?
[01:00:50] Speaker A: Oh, gosh. We've been repurifying the place for about three months, so 1212 weeks out of character.
[01:00:59] Speaker E: This lines up with when Boolean left.
[01:01:02] Speaker A: Yeah, pretty much.
[01:01:03] Speaker E: All right, well, was it an old skeleton or was it a fresh body?
[01:01:07] Speaker A: Oh, yeah. I mean, obviously, it was an older specimen. My eyes aren't what they used to be.
[01:01:13] Speaker E: I see that.
[01:01:15] Speaker A: I suspect it was perhaps 40 years old or so.
[01:01:21] Speaker E: 40 years old. All right, well, how many have you run across in the last three months?
[01:01:30] Speaker A: Three.
[01:01:31] Speaker E: Intermittent or all at once?
[01:01:33] Speaker A: Intermittently, yes. Which is the reason why we're just sort of reconsecrating everything. Something bizarre has happened.
[01:01:42] Speaker E: Do you care to elaborate? Instin.
[01:01:45] Speaker A: I'm not sure. How to elaborate here, Belain. The three instances of your work have stood back up. That's highly irregular.
[01:01:56] Speaker E: You do understand this is not because I was negligent in my duties?
[01:02:00] Speaker A: Boulain, I am not interested in blame at this juncture. I am only going to correct the problem to the best of my abilities.
[01:02:11] Speaker C: Can we just see the problem?
[01:02:13] Speaker A: No. I would prefer you did not see the problem. I have a lot of delicate work set up. And to be honest with you, sister, truth is not under jurisdiction once we pass that curtain there. So, yes, I would recommend do fall.
[01:02:31] Speaker E: Under the jurisdiction of this place. And I would like to see the problem. And I trust Zuris and Cretan to accompany me.
[01:02:39] Speaker A: I appreciate that you have faith in the capabilities of your associates, but unfortunately, I have this well under control and I'm just going to slowly resolve it. Several local investors have stepped forward to provide labor. So I don't need to use my own back or my own two hands.
[01:03:02] Speaker E: Who has provided labor?
[01:03:03] Speaker A: Oh, just some local members of the trade guilds.
[01:03:08] Speaker E: Boulain leans forward and rests her elbows on her knees and says, who?
[01:03:14] Speaker A: Oh, don't concern yourself, dear. You're on a sabbatical, if I recall.
[01:03:19] Speaker C: You don't find the majority of this highly irregular? That you have work that can't be seen by another priest of your order? That you're using hired hands to work on sacred ground?
[01:03:33] Speaker A: She frowns and says, xeris, was it?
[01:03:37] Speaker C: It is Zirus.
[01:03:38] Speaker A: I'm trying to be polite to your friend here. I'm not letting you in because someone screwed up. The only one that I know who has had access is sitting right there. I'm sorry. You're out. Until I have it fixed, you're out.
[01:03:54] Speaker C: Well, if it's her mistake, either let her take a look and fix it, or we can call Brightwind and get this matter resolved. Intimidation.
[01:04:04] Speaker A: Okay, roll that intimidation, please.
[01:04:07] Speaker C: That's a 19 on the die.
[01:04:10] Speaker D: Look, Creedon's so uncomfortable.
[01:04:15] Speaker E: Like I said, she used your name on purpose.
[01:04:18] Speaker D: Don't nepo baby me.
[01:04:21] Speaker C: That is a 24 total.
[01:04:25] Speaker A: She frowns and says, I can see that this is going to escalate if we don't resolve the situation.
I would prefer it not. I'm old and trying to retire.
[01:04:38] Speaker C: Then just make way and we'll see ourselves in. Boulain knows the way.
[01:04:43] Speaker A: Well, you'll forgive me if I don't get up.
[01:04:46] Speaker E: Yes, we will.
[01:04:47] Speaker A: And she points with one of her walking sticks at the heavy curtain.
[01:04:52] Speaker D: What became of those three undead? Are they still about?
[01:04:56] Speaker A: Oh, no. I have enough faith left in me to shatter some old bones.
[01:05:02] Speaker E: Did you reconsecrate them?
[01:05:04] Speaker A: Those three?
[01:05:05] Speaker B: Yes.
[01:05:06] Speaker A: And many, many others.
[01:05:08] Speaker E: All right, we should go take a look. We will head back to the work area and catacombs.
[01:05:27] Speaker A: And that is our story for today. Special thanks to Todd Ferguson and my pet machine for our tunes. Julie at elaborate flight of fancy for our logo. Don't forget to leave us a rating and review. We are not affiliated with the company that produces known dungeons and dragons.
[01:05:40] Speaker B: And with that, what will our heroes find in the catacombs beside Turtle Bay? Find out next time on carrots and suffering.
[01:05:49] Speaker A: A-D-D odyssey sa.
