Episode Transcript
[00:00:31] Speaker A: Welcome to carrots and suffering a DnD odyssey. I am Nate cat Wrangler and also dungeon master. It is my duty today to politely request that you leave us a rating and review with that. Let's jump right into it, man. Last time on carrots and suffering, Xeris met with Trafford beach crown elven coin, lord of a trade empire with the fairy realm, and requested the assistance of Traffron to subvert the ritual to reanimate the dragon turtle corpse, which he agreed to honestly, it's a name so old, it's older than man.
Well, what is going on here?
[00:01:09] Speaker B: Sadly, this God, as you say, has been relegated to no more than a trinket.
[00:01:16] Speaker A: I see.
[00:01:17] Speaker B: And its power significantly diminished.
[00:01:20] Speaker A: If your trinket, as you said, was looking for a new host, one with a little more physical prowess, I may be able to find some rather rare Faye herbs that, if added to the ritual, would allow an entity to intercept the prepped vessel. Boulain introduced the party to her step granddaughter, twelve, a human privateer and smuggler who exposed a little more detail on the ghost ship accosting vessels off the coast at night. One of them goes, grandma.
[00:02:00] Speaker C: Boulain winces a little at the name Grandma, but she gives her a big ol hug and says, simmy, it is.
[00:02:07] Speaker A: Good to see you unkillable marauding cannibals.
[00:02:11] Speaker C: Good gods.
[00:02:12] Speaker A: It's not the endurance.
[00:02:13] Speaker C: They are pretending to be the endurance.
[00:02:15] Speaker A: A fighter named Chom, hired by house Cecili, came out to challenge our heroes in a bar fight, and Max ended up in a duel, which he won. Our heroes respond by making an appointment with house Cecility to discuss this in the morning.
Were you on the turtle last night?
[00:02:32] Speaker D: I have no idea what you're talking about. She shrugs.
[00:02:37] Speaker B: I'm sorry, sir, do I know you?
[00:02:42] Speaker D: Who's Creedon?
[00:02:48] Speaker B: I'm going to guess that the less people that I am direct with, the better. For Mr. Zestilde.
Understood it's about recent happenings, and this is a cordial visit.
[00:03:02] Speaker A: Excellent. Well, if you would be willing to leave your weaponry in the gatehouse, I can bring you in right now. We have of a sudden cancellation if you'd like to carry your equipment in. However, I will have to make an appointment for this time tomorrow. And then they go and hire a detective to get the upper hand. And that's where we're starting today. So let's get into it.
So you walk into a private investigator's office. It's a very small little office. A woman looks to be in her mid 30s is sitting behind desk. She has tips on her ears, you're guessing a half elf, and she says, can I help you?
[00:03:53] Speaker B: Yeah, we're looking for information.
[00:03:55] Speaker A: We have a host of services, and I believe you've come to the right place. What kind of information are you looking for? The kind we have or the kind we would have to go get?
[00:04:04] Speaker B: That's a great question. I don't know what kind of information you have, but we are looking for Blaine Aralyn.
[00:04:10] Speaker C: Aralyn.
[00:04:11] Speaker B: What's the name of the person again?
[00:04:13] Speaker D: Is this still.
[00:04:16] Speaker B: Thank you.
[00:04:16] Speaker A: Yes, you're looking for Imston, the priest of the silent judge who recently went.
[00:04:24] Speaker B: Wait, wait, what do you mean they recently went missing? Because I know of their whereabouts up till last night.
[00:04:31] Speaker A: Well, the rumor this morning is the rightful priest, the silent judge, showed up and kicked them out, and they have not been seen since.
[00:04:40] Speaker D: These people know nothing.
[00:04:43] Speaker B: So, yeah, that disappeared. We're going to want a more complete story.
[00:04:49] Speaker A: You'd like to know where they are now and maybe what they're up to?
[00:04:52] Speaker B: Yes, at least the first half, but if you can get some of the second half, that'll be extra.
[00:04:58] Speaker A: Well, we have some information about where they are currently. If you would like to know what they're up to and their movements, you'll have to pay a fee. And we'll put a person on them.
[00:05:09] Speaker B: Boulain, you want to know where they are currently, and just.
[00:05:11] Speaker C: I would like to know where she is currently and what she is up to. Yes, what her habits are, who is around her.
[00:05:16] Speaker A: Given her status with the church, five gold would be an appropriate fee for this information.
[00:05:21] Speaker B: All right, I'll hand them six gold.
[00:05:23] Speaker D: Wait, why did I give him 25 gold?
[00:05:27] Speaker B: We're getting there. Hold on. Because this is going to get expensive. This is not the end of the Transaction.
[00:05:34] Speaker A: She slides five gold into a little coin slot on the top of her desk. You hear it fall a great distance.
[00:05:42] Speaker B: I gave her a 6th gold as well.
[00:05:44] Speaker A: She pockets that one. All right, and leans back and says, so, according to our records, she is staying in a warehouse owned by house as a stilldy. She has an apprentice that she's been training recently, who is another priestess of the silent judge. A much younger one.
[00:06:03] Speaker B: Do you have a description?
[00:06:05] Speaker A: Yeah, I do. You are looking for a woman, age 42, human, completely gray. Prematurely? Completely gray. Little bit heavyset. Known for her silent demeanor.
[00:06:19] Speaker B: No deformities.
[00:06:21] Speaker A: No, no deformities. Although she does have several tattoos. She has a sleeve running up one arm. It would imply that before she found her way to the clergy. She was a pirate.
[00:06:33] Speaker C: Any name for this apprentice?
[00:06:35] Speaker A: Well, I have a little bit of information.
[00:06:38] Speaker B: I slip her another two gold.
[00:06:40] Speaker A: She puts one in the coin box and puts one in her pocket. And she says, well, you're looking for. When she was a pirate, her name was Dorothea the whale eye. Today, I believe, she goes by Dora. Dora Theodore.
[00:06:57] Speaker C: Does she wear traditional silent judge robes?
[00:07:00] Speaker A: The last time she was seen, she was not. No, she was back to her pirating garb. I have quite a bit of information on Dorothea whale eye. You have paid a sufficient fee as Dorothea, well, affiliated with the church, is not considered in good standing, and so the information is cheaper. Dorothea spent a lot of time aboard a pirate ship owned by the rebel of House Zestilde. There is one pirate who is actually a cast off black sheep from House Zestilde. Interesting man. His name is Dickinson. And Dickinson the devious Zestilde believes that the coin lords are wildly corrupt. He's more of a terrorist than a pirate.
[00:07:48] Speaker D: What was his name?
[00:07:49] Speaker C: Dickinson.
[00:07:49] Speaker A: Dickinson. Known as Dicky the devious.
Sorry?
[00:07:56] Speaker C: He's a devious dick. Okay.
[00:07:59] Speaker A: Dickinson is a master of alchemical formulations. He is considered trademark move. He's a firebomber.
[00:08:10] Speaker B: I see.
[00:08:11] Speaker C: Does his family still want him back alive?
[00:08:14] Speaker A: The family has set his Bounty as alive. They will not pay for a dead version of him.
[00:08:20] Speaker B: And how much does it cost to know where he is?
[00:08:23] Speaker A: Unfortunately, no amount of money will allow me to pinpoint a pirate at sea.
[00:08:27] Speaker C: Is he currently at sea?
[00:08:29] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:08:30] Speaker C: And Dorothea is not on his ship anymore?
[00:08:33] Speaker A: No.
[00:08:33] Speaker C: When did she retire?
[00:08:35] Speaker A: Five or six years ago, give or take. Retired? Found her way into the local well, ingratiated herself with one of the local priests, got a recommendation, and then went to Astragar. She avoided the silent judge, but apparently in training, was selected by the silent judge as a patron.
[00:08:58] Speaker C: Interesting. And then she was apprenticed to Emston?
[00:09:01] Speaker A: Sort of. My understanding is they arrived together and Emston has been training her.
[00:09:07] Speaker B: What is the name of Dickinson's boat?
[00:09:10] Speaker A: Ah, yes. Well, Dickinson has a single ship. You'll recognize it because instead of a pirate flag, it holds a Zestildi family crest that's just been marred, red paint splashed over it, that sort of thing.
Dickinson's a strange duck, actually. He hasn't named his ship. One of the things he's known for is changing the paint job on it so that he can get close enough to throw fire onto any offending Cecili family vessels.
[00:09:39] Speaker B: I see.
[00:09:40] Speaker A: Although he's not picky. He'll throw fire at any coin, Lord ship, loot. Whatever floats to the surface and call it a successful raid.
[00:09:47] Speaker B: All right.
[00:09:48] Speaker A: Anyway, Dora looks about the same after her trip up to the capital, so I'm pretty sure you'll be able to find her. And she's a lot more likely to go wandering about the city than Imstead. But if you're looking for them, they are both in warehouses inside Cecili territory. I can give you the location of the warehouse. That tends to act as a safe house.
[00:10:09] Speaker B: And the cost of that?
[00:10:11] Speaker A: Let's just say that one is on the house.
[00:10:14] Speaker B: An interesting business model. Go ahead.
[00:10:16] Speaker A: She pulls out a piece of paper and draws some directions and she says, so there are three warehouses in question. This one is typically the safe house. These two have had a lot of off the books activity recently, so watch yourself. That usually means they are heavily guarded.
[00:10:32] Speaker B: Yep, just a few herbs, that's all I had.
[00:10:37] Speaker C: How much to keep this conversation between us?
[00:10:41] Speaker A: That is part of the money you've already paid.
[00:10:44] Speaker C: Thank you very much. Did we get the name of this person?
[00:10:46] Speaker A: There's a shingle outside that says P. I. Morris.
[00:10:50] Speaker C: We appreciate the help, Madam Morris.
[00:10:53] Speaker A: I have people who work in my employee who bring in information every day. You can always come back in. I can assign you one of my people, in which case they will follow whatever target you wish and report back in on their whereabouts. The expenses of following someone so closely affiliated with both the church and house of still day would probably run you ten gold a day. It's a rather dangerous proposition.
[00:11:18] Speaker B: You want Emston watched?
[00:11:21] Speaker C: I feel if we know where she is basing herself, perhaps that is not totally necessary.
[00:11:28] Speaker B: I can agree on that.
[00:11:30] Speaker C: But we could always do it later when we are closer to the day.
[00:11:33] Speaker B: Yeah. Nah. You've been a pleasure to work with. I slide two more gold tour.
[00:11:39] Speaker A: Go ahead.
[00:11:40] Speaker D: What can you tell me about the endurance?
[00:11:43] Speaker A: I won't charge you for legends of the endurance, but if you want updated information. Unfortunately, no amount of money will allow me to put a spy on a ghost ship. But legend goes the endurance disappeared hundreds of years ago. And every full moon or new moon, depending on who you ask, the ship appears on the waters again. And any ship it contacts with half the men disappear.
[00:12:08] Speaker C: Half?
[00:12:09] Speaker A: It tends to be used to explain mutinies.
[00:12:14] Speaker C: Because the half that survives joins the crew.
[00:12:16] Speaker A: Of course, you know how sailors are.
[00:12:19] Speaker C: I do.
[00:12:19] Speaker A: They love a good story, they love a good sense of superstition, and they all like plausible deniability.
But supposedly the endurance has been spotted recently almost every night. This is odd.
[00:12:36] Speaker C: It is, indeed.
[00:12:37] Speaker B: Where's the endurance being spotted every night?
[00:12:40] Speaker A: That is actually part of what's odd. All I know are rumors. And I don't charge for rumors. I only sell substantiated facts. But any ship that hasn't managed to outrun them tends to get swarmed and any food supplies are removed. Dead sailors are pulled back onto the ship. Any endurance sailors who are killed disappear by morning as if they were never there, blood and all.
[00:13:10] Speaker B: All right. Anything else, Creedon?
[00:13:12] Speaker D: No.
[00:13:13] Speaker C: How many ships have been attacked by the endurance? By the supposed endurance?
[00:13:18] Speaker A: In the last 30 years, the endurance has been seen more and more often, but in the last year, it's gotten quite desperate. There's a tale of someone outrunning the endurance almost every night. How many of them are true? I don't know, but a good 20 or 30 ships have reported dead as a direct result of confrontations with this ship.
[00:13:38] Speaker C: That is substantial.
[00:13:40] Speaker A: It's supernatural. I recommend staying off the water at night.
[00:13:45] Speaker B: All right.
[00:13:46] Speaker D: I want to lean into Xeris and Boulain and say, do we want to ask information on Zestildy? Maybe what to expect when we go in there.
[00:13:57] Speaker B: I feel like they have a larger pocketbook than we do.
[00:14:01] Speaker C: I would agree.
[00:14:02] Speaker D: Speaking of larger pocketbooks, can we have our change?
[00:14:07] Speaker B: Yeah. Give them each pack. 20 gold.
[00:14:09] Speaker A: Absolutely.
[00:14:12] Speaker B: I just wanted to make sure we had enough to cover all expenses. I wasn't trying to borrow.
[00:14:18] Speaker C: We know what you've done with gold in the past.
[00:14:21] Speaker B: Do you?
[00:14:22] Speaker A: You don't.
Mandy knows. Oh, yeah.
[00:14:26] Speaker C: Our characters don't know, but we know.
[00:14:30] Speaker A: So PI Morris stands up from behind her desk and says, right this way, folks. Out the front door is the best way. And remember, P. I. Morris's services are always available to those with coin in their pockets and a desire to know the truth.
[00:14:45] Speaker C: Thank you very much.
[00:14:46] Speaker D: Such good customer service.
[00:14:48] Speaker A: And you are back out on the.
[00:14:49] Speaker C: Street, five stars on Yelp.
[00:14:52] Speaker A: So one of the warehouses that she has pointed you to is the same warehouse that the mercenary company pointed you to. The one that is a safe house. Is not that one, though. So there is that information. You got more than you had before. There are three warehouses involved in whatever it is they're doing. And you know which one houses the vips.
[00:15:14] Speaker C: Well, I could put Sadie to watch the warehouse. Would you like me to do that?
[00:15:18] Speaker B: Sounds good enough.
[00:15:19] Speaker C: All right.
[00:15:20] Speaker D: It's not a bad idea.
[00:15:21] Speaker C: She will send Sadie and say, do not get too close.
[00:15:24] Speaker A: When do you want Sadie to come back?
[00:15:26] Speaker C: Well, what are we doing?
[00:15:28] Speaker D: I don't know, are we going to.
[00:15:30] Speaker C: Go out to sea and try to find the dicky ship?
[00:15:33] Speaker B: We certainly could.
[00:15:34] Speaker C: Tricky dicky or whatever his name is. Devious Dick.
[00:15:37] Speaker D: Yeah, I bet that he knows something about the ghost ship. He's probably encountered it. If he goes after coin Lord ships.
[00:15:45] Speaker C: I mean, he'll probably know something about the ghost ship he also knows about.
[00:15:48] Speaker D: Yeah, yeah, that too.
[00:15:52] Speaker C: And if we capture him, we would have an edge with the Zeustilde family because they want him alive. Just saying.
[00:16:00] Speaker D: It seems like a good thread to pull.
[00:16:02] Speaker B: My thought was actually helping him burn down some warehouses.
[00:16:04] Speaker C: I mean, he'd have to come into land to do that. Do you think?
[00:16:07] Speaker D: He probably doesn't want to do that unless we make him.
[00:16:10] Speaker B: If he's a terrorist who is out to get house the still day, and we can provide an opportunity. It's a nice misdirection where we're not actually the ones burning down some warehouses. Turtle Bay or not, that's not something I want on my hands.
[00:16:27] Speaker C: Well, we could certainly solicit twelve and her crew and see if they'll take us out to find him.
[00:16:32] Speaker B: I do think it sounds like a day on the water.
[00:16:34] Speaker C: All right, we'll tour the bay off to twelve ship. Oh, so Sadie.
She'll send a signal to Sadie when we get back on land and then regroup with her. So hopefully by the end of the day. Okay, so we go to the docks and we find twelve credence.
[00:16:52] Speaker D: So excited going on a real privateeer ship.
[00:16:56] Speaker A: Roll me a percentage dice, please.
[00:16:59] Speaker D: All of us?
[00:17:00] Speaker A: No, just Boulain.
[00:17:02] Speaker C: Okay, when it's.
[00:17:05] Speaker A: 100, that's a 100. No, zero. Zero. And a one is 1%.
[00:17:10] Speaker C: 1%? Jesus Christ.
[00:17:12] Speaker D: Oh no, that's probably bad.
[00:17:15] Speaker B: Probably.
[00:17:16] Speaker A: So you get there, there is no sign of her. She's already put out her ship. She appears to be on the job somewhere. But there are numerous boat hiring services if you would like to do anything else.
[00:17:27] Speaker C: Hold on, let me look through my pirate list.
[00:17:29] Speaker D: I mean, how many people, if we tell them who we're looking for, will want to go hunt the guy known for throwing fire.
[00:17:37] Speaker C: Okay. Is the mermaid in dock?
[00:17:41] Speaker A: Roll me 8100.
[00:17:43] Speaker D: Don't get the minimum.
[00:17:45] Speaker C: Okay, 85.
[00:17:46] Speaker A: 80. So you know that the mermaid, her ship is actually a submarine? Yeah, and so it would never be in dock. But you know what to look for.
[00:17:56] Speaker C: Submarines can surface.
[00:17:59] Speaker A: Yeah, true. She's an anti empire terrorist and so she won't be in dock. But you know what to look for. You find two elves that have a bluish tint to their skin and gills behind their ears who are manning a table at the dock that looks like it would hire out dock hands.
[00:18:19] Speaker C: Okay. The other one she would also look for is the duke. Muriel two teeth Langdon.
[00:18:25] Speaker A: Muriel.
[00:18:26] Speaker C: Because she's a privateer, right?
[00:18:28] Speaker A: Yeah.
Muriel two teeth. Yeah.
[00:18:31] Speaker D: I think I'd rather travel with a privateer than a terrorist. Maybe it might be a better idea.
[00:18:35] Speaker C: To take Zuris with a privateer than with fairy.
[00:18:41] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:18:42] Speaker C: In a submarine, underwater, under pressure.
[00:18:50] Speaker B: Let's make some stories, that's all.
[00:18:54] Speaker A: Yeah. You find the duke's ship is in dock. It is next to the Svresky family icebreaker ship that happens to be in dock. And there are about six people loading something, unloading something from the ship.
[00:19:06] Speaker C: She will go up to one of them and say, is the captain available?
[00:19:10] Speaker A: Yeah. Come in. This way.
[00:19:12] Speaker C: Thank you.
[00:19:12] Speaker A: It's a small boat. It looks like it's mostly designed for speed runs and a light amount of cargo, but it looks like it could hold a crew of about ten. But there appear to only be six people that run this thing, and the extra space has been converted to storage. So you imagine this boat does not go in long trips. You step up onto the ship and Muriel two teeth Langdon steps out. Why she is called two teeth, you do not know because she flashes you a big smile full of pearly whites.
She is lean, muscled, lightly clothed, and has a big bottle wrapped in leathers dangling off her belt. And she says, can I help you?
[00:19:53] Speaker C: We sure hope so. I do not know if you remember me, but I have been a regular purchaser of your elvish whiskey.
[00:20:00] Speaker A: Ah, yes. Happy to meet a connoisseur.
[00:20:05] Speaker C: My name is Boulain. This is Uris. This is Creedon. We were interested in perhaps parlaying with Dickinson.
[00:20:15] Speaker A: You want to purposely bump into Dickinson?
[00:20:17] Speaker C: We have a mutual interest.
[00:20:21] Speaker A: Okay. Roll me. Persuasion, please, with disadvantage. Yeah, don't. No, regular. Regular is fine. Regular is fine.
[00:20:32] Speaker C: I did get a natural 20, though.
[00:20:34] Speaker A: Oh, good. She says, okay.
There's only one ship that can safely find Dickinson, and it's not my ship. In fact, it's not going to be any of the legal ships that you ride around on, but there is one that I think could get you there.
[00:20:55] Speaker C: Okay.
[00:20:56] Speaker A: Down on the end of the dock, there's a ship with a bunch of weird doodads on it. Some kind of crane, a claw that comes down into the water. A few other obvious doodads hop up on that ship and ask them, does.
[00:21:10] Speaker C: A ship have a name?
[00:21:11] Speaker A: No. I'm sure it does, but it doesn't when it's in dock.
[00:21:16] Speaker C: All right, well, I might be by in a day or two to top up my whiskey, but thank you very much.
[00:21:22] Speaker A: Anytime.
[00:21:23] Speaker C: If she will slip her a couple.
[00:21:25] Speaker A: Of gold, she says, thank you. You know what you should try? And she pulls out a vodka and hands you a bottle and says, on the house, and if you like it, the next one is, of course, not on the house.
[00:21:37] Speaker C: I understand completely. Thank you.
[00:21:39] Speaker D: Creedon just sees the bottle and looks seasick already.
[00:21:43] Speaker C: Hair of the dog, Creedon. Hair of the dog. It'll make you feel better.
All right, well, I guess we go to the weird ship at the end of the dock. What are we getting into?
[00:21:54] Speaker D: Yes, this seems like this is starting to feel sketch.
Hiring pirates. Sketchy.
[00:22:00] Speaker C: Now, sketch er.
[00:22:01] Speaker A: You walk up to what looks like a salvage vessel, only it is odd for a number of reasons. So salvage vessel is going to be like a slow moving barge with a bunch of cranes and divers and stuff. This is cranes and divers and stuff on a very fast moving, lean ship, which tells you that it probably doesn't do legal salvage right so much. Although it probably only tells Boulain that.
[00:22:27] Speaker C: Boulain will stop some distance away before we get there so she can say quietly, we are probably going to be dealing with people who are involved in some illicit activities. Are you prepared to do that, Xeris, without murdering everyone in sight?
[00:22:40] Speaker B: Let's see what happens.
[00:22:44] Speaker C: All right.
[00:22:45] Speaker D: That sounds like a yes to me.
[00:22:47] Speaker C: It sounds like it's meant to be taken as a yes.
[00:22:51] Speaker D: I heard a yes.
[00:22:53] Speaker C: Just remember what I said about pulling threads wantonly here. You can wind up with something of a shitstorm as a result.
[00:23:02] Speaker D: Or a firestorm if we're unlucky.
[00:23:04] Speaker C: Or a firestorm. Remember, we need them to help us get to another end, and they have to get us safely back here because I, for one, do not know how to sail a ship.
[00:23:12] Speaker B: I got it. Don't attack the cart driver.
[00:23:15] Speaker C: Don't attack the cart driver. I don't care what he's doing.
[00:23:18] Speaker B: Well, I mean, I'm just saying, like, there are some lines the cart driver can't cross. True, but, yeah, like I said, we'll see what happens. It'll be fine.
[00:23:28] Speaker C: All right, we go up onto the ship.
[00:23:30] Speaker A: You find a gnome wearing some sort of racing scarf and big, oversized goggles, turns around at you like, holding a wrench and a screwdriver, and is like, what? What are you doing here?
[00:23:41] Speaker C: We are interested in hiring your services.
[00:23:44] Speaker A: Oh, okay. What do you need?
[00:23:46] Speaker C: We would like to find Dickinson Zeustildi.
[00:23:50] Speaker A: Oh, that's not the services I thought you were going to ask for. I thought maybe you'd, like, dropped a wedding ring underwater or something.
[00:23:58] Speaker C: Okay, well, we know who to come to if that happens.
[00:24:02] Speaker A: That's a little bit more dangerous.
What's your business? Because I'd really hate it if Dickinson opened fire on my precious, precious toys.
[00:24:11] Speaker B: We just want to talk.
[00:24:12] Speaker A: We just want to talk. Oh, man. The last three people who just wanted to talk did not walk away from that ship without some burns. So I'm going to need some financial reassurance. Let's go with. Let's see.
He looks around at his ship and he says, okay, if we take this boat, maximum fire damage, 25 gold.
[00:24:35] Speaker C: We will give you 15 now and the remaining ten when we get back.
[00:24:38] Speaker A: Okay?
And just ask real quick, you're not with one of the coin lords, are you? Because.
[00:24:44] Speaker C: Oh, no.
[00:24:45] Speaker A: Okay. If Dickinson thinks you are, I don't think your attempt to talk is.
[00:24:51] Speaker B: No, our proposal is.
[00:24:54] Speaker C: I think he might actually like how we feel about some of the coin lords.
[00:25:00] Speaker A: Pro empire faction. Interesting. Okay, well, when do we take off? I can leave right now.
[00:25:06] Speaker B: Sounds like right now.
[00:25:07] Speaker A: Here we go.
[00:25:08] Speaker D: How much did we pay him? Are we splitting that?
[00:25:11] Speaker A: You pay him 15 gold.
[00:25:12] Speaker C: 15 gold?
[00:25:13] Speaker B: Now, Blaine said she handed him 15 gold.
[00:25:15] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:25:16] Speaker C: I hand him 15 gold.
[00:25:17] Speaker A: He shouts and coming out of the ship are several humans. They're all carrying a weird device. It looks like a crossbow with a grappling hook sticking out of it, only it has a barrel. It's very strange, but they sling them over their backs and go to man the rigging. And without a whole lot of pomp or circumstance, the ship takes off. And it is fast and bizarrely quiet as it skims over the water. You end up on the open sea after about an hour with very little visibility to any land. It's kind of a foggy day, so you don't have great visibility. But one of the interesting features of this ship is it's covered in mini doodads and one of them appears to be just a massive compass. That really interesting is very fine and shifts with the movements of the ship. And this guy, who did not offer you a name nor did you ask, just watches the compass. He'll shout out orders periodically and the ship changes direction slightly and he says, we're approaching our bearing. Hold on a second. Slow it down, boys. And you've never been on a ship that had brakes before?
You don't know how this ship has brakes, but it slows faster. Than you should. There's a huge lurch. I think your stomach automatically jumps up into your throat.
[00:26:39] Speaker C: Billy catches herself on something.
[00:26:41] Speaker D: Creighton throws up over the side of the boat.
[00:26:43] Speaker C: Oh, yeah, you're all hungover, too. Getting on the boat was the worst idea for you.
[00:26:48] Speaker A: He shouts, you'll get your sea legs pretty quick.
[00:26:52] Speaker D: She's, like, clinging to the edge.
[00:26:54] Speaker A: He shouts another command, and the ship slows even more, and you get to the point where all you can hear is the ocean. You can't really hear the ship. And he says, hoist the flag. And someone pulls out this big black flag that just has this red triangle on it and raises it as high as it'll go. And he sits down on a little stool that seems to be designed to do some sort of weird rocking motion and proceeds to just rock himself on it and says, we'll be here for a little minute, too. We're waiting for them to acknowledge us.
[00:27:23] Speaker B: So you know just how to contact Dickinson.
[00:27:26] Speaker A: Oh, we're really close to his little cove. There's a section where the reefs come up. Big ships aren't going in there, but little ships can, like us and them. So we just don't want to ride in there, too, know?
[00:27:38] Speaker B: Yeah. No, of course.
[00:27:39] Speaker C: To belain. When they hoist the flag, she says, I now understand who we are dealing with, Master Herndon.
[00:27:45] Speaker A: He says, oh, you've heard of me.
[00:27:47] Speaker C: I have indeed.
[00:27:48] Speaker A: Not to worry. Not to worry.
[00:27:49] Speaker C: So your black flag will not be taken as a challenge as opposed to a white flag for.
[00:27:55] Speaker A: No, no, not against Dickinson. He and I share a certain set of issues with the coin lords.
[00:28:01] Speaker C: I see.
[00:28:02] Speaker A: And like to align our sympathies with the empire. Admiral Lunari is a wonderful gentleman, highly honorable, dedicated to the principles of sister truth. Wonderful chap.
[00:28:12] Speaker C: Can I roll insight on this?
[00:28:13] Speaker A: Sure.
[00:28:15] Speaker C: Oh, that's terrible. I think that's a seven. Never mind.
[00:28:19] Speaker A: Okay. Yeah. You don't get any additional information.
Starts singing to himself a little bit, pulls out a little music box, sets it out and starts playing.
[00:28:31] Speaker D: Oh, man, does he didn't have an instrument.
[00:28:34] Speaker C: Bellaina, look at Zaris. Would you like to take the lead on the conversation we were about to have?
[00:28:40] Speaker B: Sure, certainly.
[00:28:41] Speaker A: Can you hear a loud horn foghorn go off? He says, oh, he's coming. He slaps down the top of this music box and jumps off his little captain's post and runs down to the front. And after a few minutes, coming out of the fog, you see a large ship. It is currently painted bright blue. You can smell fresh paint coming off of it. It has no flag and it approaches very slowly. You can see the oars come out the side and row it. It does not raise its mast or its sails. And it appears to pull in pretty close. Not close enough that you could probably jump between them, but pretty damn close. And someone shouts, can I help you today, honorable racers? And you hear this guy that you now know is Herndon say, yeah, we got people who want to talk. And someone from the other ship shouts, is this the normal kind of talk?
And he says, if you burn my boat, I will kick your ass.
[00:29:45] Speaker B: This is not the normal kind of talk, this is actual talking.
[00:29:49] Speaker A: He says, okay, I'm listening. And you're shouting over the waves, but you're a bit apart.
[00:29:55] Speaker D: Yeah, I was about to say, how far away are we?
[00:29:57] Speaker A: It's a good 20ft.
[00:29:58] Speaker B: I would want to go over the details more intimately closer, but the gist is we want to see if you're interested in potentially citing some targets on land, some family assets. We might say, oh, roll me.
[00:30:19] Speaker A: Persuasion and you have advantage.
[00:30:21] Speaker C: You said the f word.
[00:30:23] Speaker D: You said I'm a vegem in.
[00:30:27] Speaker B: 14 on the dice, which is going to be a 19.
[00:30:31] Speaker A: You hear him shout, crafty. Dock us. And herned and whistles. And you see several of his men run to the side of the boat. They pull up their really weird looking crossbows and fire grappling hook rope lines over to the other ship and begin to somewhat gently pull them together. When the boats get within about six inches or so of each other, someone pulls out a little wooden plank and says, over you go.
[00:30:56] Speaker B: So far so good, Herndon. Hopefully your boat stays unscorched.
[00:30:59] Speaker A: Thank you. Try to keep it that way. Fixing it's awfully difficult.
[00:31:03] Speaker B: That's my intention. I head over to the unnamed blue ship.
[00:31:09] Speaker A: So, walking onto the unnamed blue ship, the surface of it is covered in barrels, which are also unmarked and closed, and in a lot of ways seem to be bolted to the floor. A man walks up to you. He's wearing fine clothes, a fancy vest. He has a pretty look and a wonderful haircut. Strides up and says, hello.
[00:31:30] Speaker C: Does he have a marvelous hat?
[00:31:31] Speaker A: He does not have his marvelous hat on. He says, I am Dickinson. Dickinson distilledy. At your service. You can call me Dickie. What can I do for you?
[00:31:44] Speaker B: Is it all right if I call you Dickinson?
[00:31:48] Speaker A: If you share an enemy with me, you can call me whatever you please.
[00:31:53] Speaker B: Excellent. I prefer the formality of Dickinson. So we have an interest in some zestilde assets not existing anymore. And given your penchant for the dramatic and flair, shall we say, we thought you could assist with making sure those weren't around anymore.
[00:32:15] Speaker A: I could provide you with munitions easily.
[00:32:18] Speaker B: Could you provide us with a seasoned demolitions expert?
[00:32:24] Speaker A: If we do the labor, I want it done my way.
[00:32:27] Speaker B: Yes, I would have it no other way. I also kind of want to see you work. I'm a pyro hobbyist myself, and to see the work of a master would be excellent.
[00:32:40] Speaker D: Pyro hobbyist.
What a fucking genius.
[00:32:45] Speaker A: He hits a big grin on his face and he says, well, he pulls his glove off, and you see his hand has been just scorched. He has all the post burn scarring. And he says, the trick is practice. Now, tell me about the target. And he turns and says, into the cabin.
[00:33:04] Speaker B: We go into the cabin. I go into the cabin. I don't know what they're doing.
[00:33:07] Speaker C: The lane goes into the cabin as well.
[00:33:08] Speaker D: Kaden has been awkwardly trying to cross the six inch gap in the boats and finally makes it over.
[00:33:17] Speaker C: Looking a little green.
[00:33:19] Speaker A: If you step into the cabin, there are tons of little barrels just bolted to every surface you could think of. And there's lots of glassware, mortars and pestles. Different containers, you're guessing, like paper balls and different contraptions of wood. And he says, all right. And he sits down on a little stool, pulls out a map and slaps it down over the main workbench and says, okay. I assume your target's in Turtle Bay.
[00:33:44] Speaker B: Yes. We are interested in the three warehouses of house distill day. At least one of them in particular.
[00:33:52] Speaker A: All right. Do you know what the target is inside those warehouses?
[00:33:56] Speaker B: There are people and goods.
[00:33:59] Speaker A: If you could be more specific, I'd do this for free.
[00:34:03] Speaker B: How much do you care about the fate of Turtle Bay?
[00:34:07] Speaker A: I happen to like Turtle Bay. Minus the whole oligarchy rule and people above the law and that sort of thing.
[00:34:15] Speaker B: Perfect. Because, not to be too dramatic about it, but the fate of Turtle Bay is at stake.
[00:34:21] Speaker A: What is my father doing exactly?
[00:34:25] Speaker B: Well, there is, as you may know, under the lighthouse a rather large remains of a dragon turtle.
[00:34:34] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:34:35] Speaker B: And goods from those warehouses have been secreted in the night around said turtle, including the arcane component, bone meal, which, if you don't know, can be used to raise the dead.
[00:34:52] Speaker A: He's going to roll himself a D 20.
[00:34:54] Speaker B: And we found 100 sacks of it around the turtle. Is that right?
[00:34:59] Speaker C: We found 100 bags of bone dust. He says, oh, stolen from my catacombs.
[00:35:04] Speaker A: This is Boulain, knowing my father, his target wouldn't be Turtle Bay on land, not the docks or anything. He loves that city. No, his target would be something the empire loves.
[00:35:19] Speaker C: The navy.
[00:35:20] Speaker A: You think he's going to trash the navy?
[00:35:22] Speaker C: I think that might be on his list.
[00:35:24] Speaker B: They are docking soon, and the timing.
[00:35:26] Speaker C: Of what they are planning seems to be lining up with the navy's arrival en masse.
[00:35:31] Speaker B: And if any large player in Turtle Bay attacks the navy, that's going to put Turtle Bay at war with the empire. Something they absolutely do not want.
[00:35:41] Speaker A: Well, that would be something that would benefit Lord Zacildi.
[00:35:45] Speaker C: How so?
[00:35:46] Speaker A: House Zestildi does not feel that the empire observes profit, merit, and business skill in the way that it should. It feels that they are overly focused on religious elements and that their laws are self serving. They don't like their taxes. You know, all of the things that a rich trade empire would prefer didn't exist. House distildy is all for the removal of empirical governance in Turtle Bay. Now, they love the fact that the navy combats the pirate problem, but ultimately, the navy is as much a problem as it is a help when it comes to the kinds of profit motives the coin lords hold. So a strike against the navy would be against their interests? Yes, but not in the long term. Someone must be very confident.
[00:36:47] Speaker B: So we want to just remove that confidence entirely by burning the stash, the people responsible, and everything else to do with the whole operation.
[00:36:58] Speaker A: All right. I'm in. Free of charge. When do you want it burnt?
[00:37:02] Speaker C: How soon can you burn it?
[00:37:03] Speaker A: I would prefer to spend a day scouting before an official operation. So give me two days. That'll allow me to get my munitions to shore without any suspicion.
[00:37:17] Speaker B: That seems reasonable.
[00:37:19] Speaker A: And then the demolitionists will take over from there.
[00:37:21] Speaker B: We have a meeting with, I assume, your father tomorrow morning. Anything we should say or avoid saying?
If we can plant a seed that would help our operation later.
[00:37:35] Speaker A: My father, my father, my father. You're going to have a hard time getting anything out of him, as you are clearly representatives of the church. And while my father will tell you everything you want to hear, in whatever level of detail seems to make you happy, I wouldn't believe a word he says. And unfrankly, there isn't much you could say to him that he's going to believe.
[00:37:59] Speaker B: That's all I need to know.
[00:38:01] Speaker A: Then just remember, when you walk in there, you're a lamb in a lion's den.
[00:38:08] Speaker D: Sure.
[00:38:10] Speaker A: He doesn't need a lot of excuses to dislike you. And he doesn't need a lot of time, energy, or effort to remove you.
[00:38:18] Speaker B: Well, I definitely don't intend to give him a reason to remove me.
[00:38:22] Speaker A: Well, I think this could be the beginning of a long and fruitful relationship, or actually a very short and incredibly fun one. I don't really care which way it goes, but if you find other targets that you can ascertain their value to, the coin lords and their disvalue to the empire, I would happily continue this relationship.
[00:38:46] Speaker B: I mean, are you really asking that? Because I happen to know that if you can disintegrate a large skeleton that happens to be submerged in water, that would also throw some wrinkles in some plans.
[00:38:59] Speaker C: Boulain goes.
[00:39:02] Speaker A: To be honest with you, my alchemical skills have limitations.
[00:39:06] Speaker C: Also, destroying the pride landmark of Turtle Bay might not be ideal if we can avoid it.
[00:39:14] Speaker A: It is possible with a sufficiently large bombardment to trash that skeleton. But the reason it's lasted, where it has been for so long, is, of course, the bone shell is virtually indestructible. No fire I have is going to touch it.
[00:39:31] Speaker B: Wait, it's just a floating skit, or did it beach itself on the bay?
[00:39:37] Speaker A: Oh, no, it's beached. But it's so big that it's beached quite far down in the harbor. But, yeah, it's big and virtually indestructible. It would take a focused bombardment from a lot of key players.
[00:39:50] Speaker B: Okay, different question. Just for my own imagination, what would it take to just move it.
[00:39:59] Speaker A: Pick.
[00:40:00] Speaker D: It up and put it over there.
[00:40:02] Speaker C: Get it out of the circle?
That would be so fucking funny.
Nobody will notice that, like, don't mind us.
[00:40:23] Speaker A: Gather round, apprentices. You've been asking about divine Hammer for some time, and today is the time I tell the story.
Divine Hammer, the goddess of crafting and invention, is all about the advancement of our modern technologies. The spark of ideas that create something new, from poetry to engineering. But there is something more. This merging of magic and engineering that I know has caught your attention. I'm sure you've witnessed the great lock systems between Hilock and Turtle Bay, the great domed public buildings, the towering bridges that raise and lower the tiny trinkets for cooking and mixing. These are all thanks to the watchful eye and timely inspiration of the goddess in her wisdom, for she commands the spark of invention. There once was a wizard of great magical talent with a penchant for transmutation, in a truly keen eye for the properties of materials. But they failed to catch the eye of the luminous one. For subtle refinements and spell design and playing with minerals isn't exactly going to unlock the potential of the luminous one's gifts. Magic is a known quantity. And while new magic items can be crafted, new spells can be designed. The luminous one set the rules. The rules must be followed. Invention and subtle improvements are ways to honor her. But they are owned by another. This wizard sought to truly do the goddess justice and craft something remarkably new. So they turned not to the luminous one, but to the goddess of crafting and invention, divine Hammer. And they prayed for the spark of invention. After a lifetime of work dedicated to the pursuit of magic and honest attempts to build new spells the luminous one might have never seen, they realized the folly of their pursuit. The muse of divine hammer struck them during a chance encounter with an architect. The architect was attempting to build a bridge that lifts in the middle to allow ships to pass under when needed. The materials were simply too heavy to both support traffic on the bridge and lift into the air. The wizard, in a stroke of insight, had an idea. Together, these two aged inventors crafted a material strong enough to carry the weight of horses and carts, but light enough to be lifted into the air. And by merging the fields of magic and engineering, they also were able to create a mechanism that could be turned with the strength of a single man and lift the bridge. Gaining the luminous one's attention by unlocking the true potential of magic is one thing, but combining magic with the newest advancements in crafting, this was a new thing. And it was unclear which goddess to give credit, the priests debated the issue, but in the end, the wizard who invented the new bridge, they channeled the power of divine hammer. You see, in the moment of inspiration, the goddess of crafting had chosen another representative, and the world's understanding of divine hammer changed. Where? Once you prayed for the goddess to guide the hands of a smith or spark inspiration to the poet, now you pray for an inventor to find the inspiration that changes the lives of everyone for the better.
Do not forget, divine hammer apprentices. What we do may glorify the luminous one. And what we do with magic could aid any God or goddess. But with the power of divine hammer, we, with our specialized knowledge, we can change the world. As the followers of the divine hammer say, reach for the hammer, find the spark. Well, hand me my wine and get back to work. You've had your story for today.
To do that would be Herndon on the other ship there.
[00:44:42] Speaker B: How convenient.
[00:44:45] Speaker A: Or maybe the mermaid.
[00:44:48] Speaker B: Well, that might not be an avenue we need to pursue. Seeing how these warehouses stand after a.
[00:44:55] Speaker C: Few days, but it could be a plan b.
[00:44:58] Speaker D: We can find our own necromancer, raise it, and make it move itself.
[00:45:04] Speaker A: Herndon specializes in manipulation from the surface. The mermaid specializes in salvage from underwater.
[00:45:13] Speaker B: Right.
[00:45:13] Speaker A: If the two of them work together, they could probably move it in a week.
[00:45:16] Speaker C: How likely do you feel they might work together?
[00:45:18] Speaker A: Oh, they have absolute opposite agendas. Herndon feels like me that the coin lords are a corrupt problem, undermining the quality of life for the entire empire. And Merle feels that the religious restrictions of the church are discriminatory to the Fae.
[00:45:39] Speaker B: But I'm sure they can both be united in a love of this great.
[00:45:45] Speaker C: City and their desire to continue their prosperity.
[00:45:48] Speaker A: The thing with idealists is they care very little about their prosperity, but they do love the city.
[00:45:55] Speaker C: So none of the trade companies employ the mermaid, right?
[00:46:00] Speaker A: No, the mermaid is strictly a rogue faction, all right?
[00:46:04] Speaker C: She's her own deal.
[00:46:05] Speaker A: Okay? She is one of the real pirates.
[00:46:08] Speaker D: Okay. Gotcha.
[00:46:10] Speaker A: So is the boat you're on and the boat you got here.
They do not play nice with any faction unless it benefits them. Although they seem to have some politics.
[00:46:20] Speaker C: Yep. All right, well, is there anything else?
[00:46:23] Speaker D: So, Mr. Devious.
[00:46:27] Speaker B: We will return in what? Two days.
[00:46:31] Speaker C: Do we return in two days, or do we expect to see you ashore?
[00:46:34] Speaker A: I'll tell you what, if you would like to witness the activity. Two days, cover of darkness. Be there. Otherwise, let's never talk again.
[00:46:44] Speaker B: All right.
[00:46:44] Speaker A: Unless you have better intel, in which case, you know how to get hold of me. Apparently.
[00:46:48] Speaker B: Apparently. Thank you for your time, Dickinson.
[00:46:50] Speaker C: Yes, thank you very much.
[00:46:52] Speaker D: Mr. Devious, have you happened to have a run in with the fabled ship of legend? The endurance?
[00:47:01] Speaker A: Oh.
[00:47:01] Speaker D: Recently or ever?
[00:47:03] Speaker A: Well, I won't call it a run in. We have seen the endurance, but it didn't see us.
[00:47:12] Speaker D: Can you share what happened?
[00:47:13] Speaker A: Yeah, sure.
[00:47:14] Speaker D: I'm very interested in this legend.
[00:47:16] Speaker A: It was foggy nonetheless, and a late night, and we boated silently in the waters as we could. And of course, something dark and shadowy just drifted by.
And we didn't call attention to ourselves, and it didn't seem to notice us. And for that, we are quite happy. I hear the endurance has taken to snagging people and eating them off the decks of their ships.
[00:47:44] Speaker C: Yes, we have heard a similar account.
[00:47:46] Speaker D: Man, I really think the only way to find out more is to just go for it.
[00:47:51] Speaker A: The endurance represents an interesting threat. My understanding from the rumors is that their crewmen are not afraid of death and in fact, don't stay dead.
[00:48:01] Speaker C: It is troubling, is it? Not? To everyone, no matter their interests.
[00:48:05] Speaker A: I'll tell you what. The endurance is a bit of a thorn in the side of everyone, pirates in the navy included. And he reaches into one of his little barrels and comes out with a little thick paper ball, and he says, if you have need of lighting a ship on fire, here you go.
[00:48:25] Speaker C: Boulain takes it and says, what do we do with it?
[00:48:27] Speaker A: Wait.
[00:48:27] Speaker D: I want it. He's giving it to me.
[00:48:29] Speaker C: Well, okay, then. Take it.
[00:48:31] Speaker B: I'm the novice pyro. This is amazing.
[00:48:36] Speaker D: Creedon snatches it.
[00:48:37] Speaker A: If you peel up this little bit here, it will expose the wick. Light it. You have roughly 6 seconds to get it as far away from you as you can.
[00:48:47] Speaker C: We have a holy hand grenade of Antioch.
All right, Master Dickinson. Thank you very much. Do you drink, sir?
[00:48:57] Speaker A: I do, happily.
[00:48:59] Speaker C: I have a fresh bottle of vodka straight from the duke.
[00:49:02] Speaker A: Really? I haven't spoken with the duke in a long time. Please hand it over.
[00:49:07] Speaker C: She does.
[00:49:08] Speaker A: He uncorks it and gives a sniff and says, ah, lovely. All right. He twists it shut and sets it down right next to many other explosive and combustibles and says, I will make wonderful use of this.
[00:49:23] Speaker D: He's going to waste it.
[00:49:26] Speaker A: If you excuse me now, I have to get back to my workshop, and I'm sure Herndon is just desperate to get back to greasing some wheels. So hop on over to the ship you rode in on and kindly do whatever you wish.
[00:49:42] Speaker D: All right?
[00:49:42] Speaker C: Have a good day, captain.
[00:49:44] Speaker A: Indeed.
[00:49:45] Speaker D: Thank you, Mr. Devious.
[00:49:48] Speaker A: You're really just not going to go with Dicky at all, are you?
[00:49:51] Speaker C: I mean, I almost said Master Dick, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it.
[00:49:57] Speaker A: That just has a different connotation altogether. All aboard, everyone.
[00:50:00] Speaker D: Captain Dicky.
[00:50:04] Speaker C: All right. Ling crosses back over to Herndon's ship.
[00:50:07] Speaker D: Creedon does as well.
[00:50:09] Speaker A: He says, hoist off, boys. And they grab the grappling hooks that Herndon's men had thrown over and unhook them and toss them into the water. And you see Herndon's men reeling them in on their crossbows.
[00:50:19] Speaker D: Also, Creighton is realizing that her throwing arm probably sucks. Do you think that you would be better equipped, Zuris, to take this bomb?
[00:50:27] Speaker B: I might, if you really want me to.
[00:50:31] Speaker C: Creeden, perhaps you should hold onto it until we all agree that there is an occasion to use it, and then we can hand it to Zuris.
[00:50:38] Speaker B: Okay, that's not a good tactic, but sure.
[00:50:43] Speaker A: Okay, Zuris, this is a ship to ship fire bomb. Please put it on your character sheet.
[00:50:49] Speaker D: Wait, I think I am hanging on.
[00:50:50] Speaker B: Creighton's holding it. Yeah.
[00:50:51] Speaker A: Oh, Creighton's heaping it. Okay, put. This is a ship to ship fire bomb. Please put it on your character sheet.
[00:50:56] Speaker D: Okay, I had put Dicky's fire bomb.
[00:50:58] Speaker A: That's great.
[00:50:59] Speaker D: Dicky's firebomb. No, it is Dicky's ship to ship fire bomb.
[00:51:03] Speaker C: The fire dick.
[00:51:04] Speaker A: I will tell you what it does. I don't know if you want to write this down.
[00:51:07] Speaker D: I just wrote down Dicky's ship to ship fire bomb. You have one round to get away.
[00:51:11] Speaker A: Yeah, it's a 20 foot radius. Fiery explosion that does 48 damage and automatically lights dry wood on fire.
[00:51:19] Speaker C: Powerful. Good. All right, we have something to blow up either the endurance or the pirate queen. Assuming the endurance is even real.
[00:51:26] Speaker D: Maybe they're the same.
[00:51:28] Speaker C: We don't know.
[00:51:31] Speaker A: Okay, what time do you think it is, folks?
[00:51:33] Speaker C: Well, it took us about an hour to get out to sea, so I imagine by the time we get back, we're looking at afternoon at least.
[00:51:39] Speaker A: Okay, you're not at sea at dark. That's what matters.
[00:51:44] Speaker C: Yes, we are not at sea at.
[00:51:45] Speaker B: Dark, but we could be if you're.
[00:51:48] Speaker D: I'm starting to want to be. Starting to want to be now that.
[00:51:51] Speaker C: We have a fire bomb.
[00:51:53] Speaker D: I mean, I really want to. This is my side plot that I am all about.
[00:51:58] Speaker B: No, I'm good with it. I mean, honestly, if 712, seven was my late wife, if twelve is docked. Wait, I'm sorry, hold on.
Why does your ex wife have the same naming convention as your child?
[00:52:13] Speaker C: Twelve is really seven's grandchild.
[00:52:16] Speaker B: Oh, they're all numbers.
Got it. All right. It seemed weird for a second. All right, got it.
[00:52:23] Speaker C: I do not have any biological children.
[00:52:25] Speaker B: Got it. So, yeah, if twelve is around, we can always just go out now at night, maybe get some food. But other than that, yeah, should we.
[00:52:34] Speaker C: Collect food and perhaps a max and a dread to come with us?
[00:52:38] Speaker D: Oh, yeah, I think that Max would want to be on this adventure.
[00:52:40] Speaker B: We should definitely collect some max and a dread. Yeah.
[00:52:43] Speaker C: All right, I am down for that. She will call to Sadie to come back and ask her what she saw.
[00:52:48] Speaker A: Sadie lands and says, it's been quiet all day. The doors have been closed. I did see an elf show up, but not a normal elf, like a blue.
[00:52:59] Speaker C: Oh, dear. Well, the mermaid, which Dickinson mentioned, that sounds like someone from her crew.
[00:53:06] Speaker B: That makes sense. Yeah.
[00:53:07] Speaker C: Okay, so they may be in league with the Zeus Dildes.
[00:53:10] Speaker B: Well, then let's not talk to her.
[00:53:12] Speaker C: They may even be helping them plant components.
[00:53:15] Speaker B: Yeah, we definitely won't talk to them then.
[00:53:17] Speaker C: Oh, she happily pays Herndon, by the way. When we get back, she pays him the rest.
[00:53:21] Speaker A: Okay. Herndon says, thank you for not getting my ship burnt up.
[00:53:25] Speaker C: It was our pleasure, our distinct pleasure.
[00:53:27] Speaker D: Thank you for taking on that.
[00:53:28] Speaker B: Thank you.
[00:53:29] Speaker A: And if you lose anything at the bottom of the sea, come back and we'll help you recover it.
[00:53:35] Speaker B: Absolutely.
[00:53:36] Speaker D: I mean, yeah, if we think that they're putting more reagents down, this might be the guy to go get them.
[00:53:41] Speaker C: This might be the guy to go get them up, so we don't have to spend a day doing that again.
[00:53:44] Speaker A: So, in the afternoon, you hop off this guy's boat, and the first thing you notice is there are two naval ships parked out at the lighthouse.
[00:53:54] Speaker D: Oh, yeah, that's probably. I guess the coiler gave the. Okay. Which one is it? Is Sask's the one that owns it or runs it right now?
[00:54:02] Speaker A: No, Sask's wants to win it for.
[00:54:04] Speaker B: Next year, and Sask was the one that we were talking to.
[00:54:07] Speaker A: But the thing is actually run by Nem Shovretzky, the northern Ocean shipping and trading company specializing in all of the booze from the rye and grain regions of the world. Also raw oil, fats and things.
[00:54:24] Speaker D: Yeah, that one was not in the list. I don't think the NPC tracker.
[00:54:28] Speaker A: Well, I haven't put anybody you haven't met in the NPC tracker. I only put them in there when they have an opinion of you and you have met them.
[00:54:35] Speaker D: Also, I want to point out that it says that Dredd's opinion is neutral of the party. That's my boyfriend.
[00:54:42] Speaker C: His opinion isn't neutral about you.
[00:54:45] Speaker D: No, because there are other modifiers for, like, this person is neutral, but likes whoever. There's nothing.
[00:54:51] Speaker A: It's not always updated. Okay.
[00:54:54] Speaker D: You could always add that I can't go in and edit the.
[00:54:59] Speaker A: It is an edible sheet you can edit.
[00:55:01] Speaker C: Oh, okay.
Neutral about the party, but sweet on.
[00:55:06] Speaker D: Creedon wants to touch Credence butt.
[00:55:09] Speaker A: I only remember to update it every, like, three, four months.
All right. Your granddaughter's ship is in harbor, if you would like to go talk to her.
[00:55:19] Speaker C: Boolain says I could go talk to twelve. Do you all want to find Max and Dread and bring them?
[00:55:24] Speaker D: Yeah, Kaden's happy to do that. Did they mention where they were doing their interviews?
[00:55:29] Speaker C: They didn't, but they may have gone back to the house, too. All right. Boulain will head for the ship.
[00:55:33] Speaker A: Belain, your granddaughter's ship is in harbor. They are unloading some small suspicious barrels.
[00:55:40] Speaker C: Boulain does not glance twice at the small suspicious barrels. She doesn't care. And she says, where can I find twelve, please?
[00:55:47] Speaker A: Yeah, she's in her cabin, all right.
[00:55:49] Speaker C: She goes and knocks on the cabin door.
[00:55:51] Speaker A: She swings the door open and says, oh, come on in, grandma.
[00:55:56] Speaker C: She goes in and sits down and says, I understand it was an exciting night.
[00:56:01] Speaker A: Oh, yeah. Lots of drinks. Regular old fashioned duel. Good stuff, good stuff. Nothing to worry about though.
[00:56:07] Speaker C: Creedin has only puked once that I have seen today, so you obviously did not rougher up enough.
[00:56:13] Speaker A: Well, we'll try harder next time.
[00:56:15] Speaker C: And Max? How did it go with him?
[00:56:17] Speaker A: Max is impressive. You know, I kind of like him. I thought you might, to be honest with you. Although he's all work, all the time.
[00:56:24] Speaker C: I think you might find that he has some enjoyments, too. But who am I to say?
[00:56:30] Speaker A: Oh, yeah. I mean, here's the thing. He doesn't let on that he's all work, all the time, but he is all work, all the time.
[00:56:37] Speaker C: Well, I leave it to you whether to pursue it or not.
[00:56:41] Speaker A: Maybe he's pretty hot. He's got one hell of a six pack. It's kind of like an eight pack.
[00:56:52] Speaker C: Twelve. I wonder if I could solicit your help with something.
[00:56:57] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:56:57] Speaker C: We would like to see if we can find this endurance ship that is plaguing everyone.
[00:57:03] Speaker A: Oh, Jesus. It's not like help you're asking for.
[00:57:07] Speaker C: We would pay you.
[00:57:08] Speaker A: Of course, one of the benefits of the current job we have as retainers of a coin, Lord, is most of what we do. While a little suspect isn't direct combat like a normal pirate. My people are a tad rusty, to be honest with you.
If you want to pay us, we'd probably take the job. But you would want to bring your muscle.
[00:57:33] Speaker C: Twelve, I hope you know I do not like the idea of putting you in danger. But if this ship has been plaguing everyone, no matter what their allegiances and priorities are, you could stand to gain some prestige in bringing it down.
[00:57:47] Speaker A: I mean, here's the thing. A ship of roving cannibals probably doesn't have a lot of good loot on it, to be honest. But if the Empire is paying the coin and I'll cover ship repairs, I think we can be there for you. We're not afraid of adventure. I'm just warning you that my people haven't seen a fight in probably three years.
[00:58:05] Speaker C: They never practice together.
[00:58:07] Speaker A: Oh, they practice. But that's different than reality, you know?
[00:58:10] Speaker C: I do.
All right, twelve. Well, we would like to take care.
[00:58:14] Speaker A: Of this problem, all right, because it's you. I'll give you the family discount. Figure out how much. Admiral Lunari, you'll pay, cover the ship's damages. We take the job.
[00:58:23] Speaker C: All right. Thank you, twelve. We will be back. She'll go off to find Creden and Zerus.
[00:58:28] Speaker A: So, Creedon and Zerus, you have arrived back at Boulain's house, where you have been staying. You step in to find Max and dread and a rather burly looking dude.
[00:58:39] Speaker D: Is it the same one from last night?
[00:58:41] Speaker A: It is, yeah. The burly looking dude turns around and says, so, this is your old boss, right? And Max says, yeah, temporary old boss. Xeris, kindly meet our good man, chom Chom. Zerus.
[00:58:54] Speaker B: Hey, Chom, I hear you. Pirate duel. All right.
[00:58:58] Speaker A: Oh, you know, duels. Duels pretty good with a long sword. So here's the deal. My boy Max here tells me that his team is looking for a new leader, and I have some leadership experience. He also tells me that there's a dragon in the swamp that you folks are eyeing. And if there's anything I know about dragons, dragons got loot.
[00:59:21] Speaker B: That is quite the intel you have.
[00:59:25] Speaker A: Yeah, what can I say? I'm a simple man. Simple ways, simple goals.
[00:59:32] Speaker D: What was his name? Chom.
[00:59:34] Speaker A: Chom.
[00:59:34] Speaker D: Chom.
[00:59:35] Speaker C: Just call him Chomp.
[00:59:36] Speaker A: And Max says, we've found our third member. Chom's got the skills to pay the bills, talented fighter, capable with numerous weapons, and quite good on the water, which will be good in the swamps. So Chom here has agreed to join us as our third member, reforming the sharp edge of the pub. And Chom's like, good name. Good name, man.
[00:59:58] Speaker B: Dredd. You're not worried about a lack of, huh?
[01:00:01] Speaker A: Dredd says a spellcaster would have been preferable, but we were unable to find one to interview today, and Max wants to get started quickly.
[01:00:11] Speaker B: All right, well, best of luck to you all.
[01:00:13] Speaker A: Max says. Cool. We're going to start scouting out that dragon. We will meet you when the navy kicks off here in. I don't know. What's that? Eleven days? Twelve days.
[01:00:22] Speaker D: Wait, Max, I didn't think that you would want to leave turtle base so quickly.
We're planning on going to hunt a ghost ship with twelve. Thought you might want to go on that.
[01:00:34] Speaker A: I mean, she's pretty cool. I mean, pirates are fun, but I got my mind set on some bigger deals right now.
[01:00:42] Speaker B: What is a bigger deal than hunting down a legendary ghost ship, raiding it with a pirate crew, and saving a town from the scourge that has plagued them for centuries?
[01:00:59] Speaker D: Yeah.
[01:01:00] Speaker A: I mean, nobody's ever put it like that. Roll me. Persuasion.
[01:01:05] Speaker D: I am 100% giving the help. Action Creedon is like, yeah, absolutely. It's such a cool opportunity.
[01:01:14] Speaker B: Well, the dice decided to give me two fives.
[01:01:17] Speaker A: Oh, no.
[01:01:18] Speaker D: My boyfriend's going to get eaten by a dragon.
[01:01:20] Speaker B: Which is a total of ten.
[01:01:23] Speaker A: So Max says, yeah, here's the thing. I've got dread. Dread's the smartest person I've ever met. We'll be fine. We'll be safe. And do you know what's more epic than taking out a ghost ship? Taking out a dragon.
[01:01:37] Speaker D: Did you not want to do that together?
[01:01:39] Speaker C: But you know what's even more epic is taking out a ghost ship and a dragon.
[01:01:43] Speaker B: You could do both.
[01:01:45] Speaker D: Yeah, like we're planning on doing both.
[01:01:47] Speaker B: You know, Max, you make an excellent point. Dredd, what do you think?
[01:01:52] Speaker A: Dredd says, I think the dragon represents a long term threat that will very likely attempt to challenge the empire if it can unite its soldiers. And I think the empire is playing an interesting political game, trying to figure out how to deal with the dragon without incurring any negative consequences for the empire. They would probably prefer a negotiated truce.
[01:02:26] Speaker B: All right, so you're going to go after this adult black dragon on his own turf, with a new leader as your first? Sorty. All right. Far be it from me to tell you how to do your job.
[01:02:40] Speaker A: Roll me. Persuasion or intimidate. You. Choose.
[01:02:44] Speaker B: They're the same for me. So I will go intimidation. Just to try a different tactic.
[01:02:51] Speaker A: Come on. Get in the tray.
[01:02:52] Speaker B: That's an at 20.
[01:02:54] Speaker D: Yeah.
[01:02:54] Speaker B: So, 25.
[01:02:56] Speaker A: Dread grabs Max, pulls him in, and whispers something into his ear. And Max says, all right, you got a point. You got a point. Yeah. Okay. I'm being a little too reckless here. I appreciate. You know what, Dredd? You're the smart guy. And anytime I listen to you, it works out. What do you think we should do? And Dredd says, the corruption around the dragon turtle incident. Someone's concealed the truth. And that can't stand.
[01:03:21] Speaker B: I can't. Okay. So what are you all going to do?
[01:03:24] Speaker A: And Max goes, I don't know yet. Hold on. Let me think about this. Seems like an interesting take. So, Dredd, you're basically saying like, fuck both of these problems. We're going after a different one.
[01:03:34] Speaker D: I mean, we're also pursuing that problem as well. We're hoping to take care of that before we leave.
[01:03:40] Speaker B: Shouldn't the newly appointed Chom decide?
[01:03:43] Speaker A: Chom says so. Let me get this straight, Boyce. I joined on one condition, and that condition is that I make more money than Zestilde was paying, which is wonderful. I think we're going to do that. Dragon Horde will definitely blow that out of the water, even if we have to split it. But I don't know that I want to piss off Zestildi.
[01:04:04] Speaker B: Well, I'll let you all enjoy your honeymoon. Come find us when your quarrel's over.
[01:04:10] Speaker A: Dread pulls out a notebook and a slate and chalk and starts putting out a pros and cons list.
[01:04:18] Speaker B: Yeah, that's my cue.
[01:04:20] Speaker D: Creedon wants to walk over to dread and whisper in his ear, this guy was hired by the guy that we're pretty sure is trying to bring down Turtle Bay, and now you're joining up with him, and he's trying to get you guys out of town to not help deal with this problem? I'm a little bit concerned that he might still be working for Zestildi, and he's trying to separate our team here. I mean, if you want to go fight the dragon, that's fine. You go fight the dragon. But I kind of don't trust this guy, and I don't know if we should.
[01:04:50] Speaker A: Dredd looks at you and has this very analytical look on his face for a moment, and he stops and says, chom is legit. But that doesn't mean that Cecili didn't let him go with that in his mind. You're right, Max. We need to stay in town. And Max says, okay, here's what I think we should do. Me, chom, we go after the pirates. The ghost ship. Pirate cannibals. Dread, figure out what the hell this people are up to.
[01:05:18] Speaker D: This people.
[01:05:19] Speaker B: Well led, Max.
[01:05:20] Speaker A: Well led, Max says. Yeah, you know, I try. I try. Thank you. All right, what do you need from us?
[01:05:27] Speaker B: For ghost pirate duty, we need a brute squad.
[01:05:31] Speaker A: We're the brute squad.
[01:05:33] Speaker D: We're going looking for trouble. Should we find this trouble, we want.
[01:05:37] Speaker B: Strength and someone spoiling for a fight, like you always are, Max.
[01:05:42] Speaker A: I mean, I wouldn't say I'm spoiling for a fight. I prefer to know. But sometimes people just fuck with you, and you got to fuck with them back.
[01:05:48] Speaker B: It would only be worse if they were demons, because ghost cannibal pirates are probably not the talking sort.
[01:05:55] Speaker A: You know what? You got a good point there. You got a good point there, dread. This is home base. Dred just nods, picks up a notebook. I think Dredd's gonna roll himself a little insight roll here. Oh, he's gonna fail at terribly.
[01:06:07] Speaker D: Oh, weird.
[01:06:08] Speaker A: Okay, well, he's not great with people. And he definitely does not read what his girlfriend would prefer he do in this situation. And so he grabs his notebook and says, off to work.
[01:06:20] Speaker D: I mean, I don't really care if he went with us on this pirate ship. I just didn't particularly want him getting eaten by a dragon.
[01:06:27] Speaker A: Yeah, he has no idea what you want. It appears he couldn't figure out what Creedon was after, so he's gonna go with his gut.
[01:06:34] Speaker D: Creedon got what she wanted. He's not going to fight a dragon without the navy behind.
[01:06:39] Speaker A: Yeah. He wanders off. That brings us to. So, Boulain, you have arrived just in time to see Dread walking out the front door. He nods at you.
[01:06:47] Speaker C: Bye, dread.
[01:06:48] Speaker A: He does not say bye.
[01:06:51] Speaker C: Boulain comes in and says, we have twelve in her crew. She looks at Chom and says, oh, hello.
[01:06:57] Speaker A: Chom says, hey, I'm the new third for sharp edge of the pub. Nice to meet you.
[01:07:01] Speaker C: You look burly. We will need that tonight.
[01:07:04] Speaker A: Excellent. I'm good at that. That's my thing.
[01:07:06] Speaker D: You healed really fast. It's very impressive.
[01:07:09] Speaker A: Oh, yeah. It's giant blood runs through the veins. I'm like one 16th troll.
[01:07:14] Speaker D: That's so cool.
[01:07:25] Speaker A: And that is our episode tonight. Special thanks to Julie at elaborate Flight of Fancy for our logo and Togg Ferguson at my pet machine for our tunes. Both, of course, available through Facebook. Don't forget to leave us a rating and review. What will our heroes get up to with an evening on the water? Find out next time on carrots and suffering a DND odyssey.
