Campaign 2 (Astragar) Episode 34: Cannibals at Sea

Episode 34 August 13, 2023 00:54:25
Campaign 2 (Astragar) Episode 34: Cannibals at Sea
Carrots and Suffering: A D&D Odyssey
Campaign 2 (Astragar) Episode 34: Cannibals at Sea

Aug 13 2023 | 00:54:25

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Hosted By

Nate

Show Notes

Our heroes go pirate hunting.  Krieden struggles with a god.  Bulain struggles to stay dry.  Zirus goes full anime.

Music by Todd Ferguson, My Pet Machine on Facebook

Logo by Julie at Elaborate Flight of Fancy

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Episode Transcript

[00:00:31] Speaker A: Welcome to carrots and suffering. A-D-D Odyssey. I am Nate, your dungeon master. And distracted by jingling keys, it seems. Don't forget to leave us a rating and review before we get started. Our heroes get into a fight. And there is a downside to theater. The mind. When playing D d, which, of course, specifies distances and dimensions that work best in battle map format. I'm pushing the limits of theater of the mind with a swarm fight, so bear with us. The mechanics are a bit hard to follow, particularly after I edit out all the confusing conversation about dimensions and the part where I have to show my players a map of what's going on in a little note card. But you'll get it. Mostly. Last time on carrots and suffering. Our heroes cross the lines of justice to stop a greater evil. Buying information from a shadowy broker and selling it to a pirate terrorist. [00:01:19] Speaker B: Boulain, you want to know where they are currently and just. [00:01:22] Speaker C: I would like to know where she is currently and what she is up to. Yes. What her habits are, who is around her. [00:01:27] Speaker D: Dickinson, known as Dicky the Devious. [00:01:33] Speaker C: Sorry, he's a devious dick. Okay. [00:01:37] Speaker D: Dickinson is a master of alchemical formulations. Trademark move. He's a firebomber. [00:01:47] Speaker E: This is starting to feel sketch hiring pirate sketchy. [00:01:52] Speaker C: No, sketch er. [00:01:53] Speaker B: We want to see if you're interested in potentially citing some targets on land, some family assets, we might say. [00:02:04] Speaker D: Oh, roll me. Persuasion and you have advantage. [00:02:09] Speaker C: You said the f word. [00:02:10] Speaker E: You said of a bitch. I'm in. [00:02:14] Speaker B: So we want to just remove that confidence entirely by burning the stash, the people responsible, and everything else to do with the whole operation. [00:02:25] Speaker D: All right, I'm in. Free of charge. When do you want it burnt? [00:02:28] Speaker C: How soon can you burn it? [00:02:30] Speaker A: Well, dealing with a fire bomber, they decide to go after the endurance, a ghost ship that's been spotted recently. And so they stock up if you. [00:02:37] Speaker D: Have need of lighting a ship on fire. There you go. [00:02:41] Speaker C: Boulain takes it and says, what do we do with it? [00:02:43] Speaker E: Hey, I want it. He's giving it to me. [00:02:45] Speaker C: Oh, well, okay, then. Take it. [00:02:47] Speaker B: I'm the Novice pyro. This is amazing. [00:02:54] Speaker A: Meanwhile, sharp edge of the pub went out and hired the same guy Max was just in a fight with to join their crew. And then we're planning to leave town. [00:03:02] Speaker D: What can I say? [00:03:04] Speaker A: I'm a simple man. [00:03:06] Speaker D: Simple ways, simple goals. [00:03:07] Speaker E: What was his name? [00:03:08] Speaker C: Chom chom chom. Just call him Chomp. [00:03:13] Speaker E: Wait, Max, I didn't think that you would want to leave turtle base so quickly. I mean, we're planning on going to hunting ghost ship with twelve. Thought you might want to go on that. Creedon wants to walk over to dread and whisper in his ear. This guy was hired by the guy that we're pretty sure is trying to bring down Turtle Bay, and now you're joining up with him, and he's trying to get you guys out of town to not help deal with this problem. I'm a little bit concerned that he might still be working for Zestildi, and he's trying to separate our team here. [00:03:50] Speaker A: Onward to pirate hunting. [00:04:02] Speaker D: Hi, I'm Nate, and I will be your dungeon master. [00:04:05] Speaker C: I'm Mandy. I play Boulain, the grave domain death cleric hunting a ghost ship with my grandbaby. [00:04:11] Speaker E: I'm Claire. I play Creden, the warlock of love, who is in love with this pirate life. [00:04:19] Speaker B: Hi, I'm Robert. I play Zerus, the lawyer barbarian who believes if it bleeds, you can kill it. [00:04:29] Speaker C: Damn skippy. [00:04:31] Speaker D: So you folks left with chem, the chum and Max on twelve's ship. Twelve's ship is a fairly skinny vessel. Aqua dynamic design. Sleek. Yes, it's very sleek. It's got great sails. It is designed to go fast. [00:04:51] Speaker E: Nice. [00:04:52] Speaker C: Is it like a sloop? [00:04:53] Speaker D: Pretty much. It's typically crewed with a crew of six, but it has storage space for many reasons, some of which are hidden. And so you find yourself zipping across the ocean quickly out of sight of land as darkness begins to fall. I need everybody to give me a nature roll. [00:05:16] Speaker E: Oh, God. Gross. Nature. [00:05:22] Speaker C: Seven five. [00:05:24] Speaker B: I rolled an 18, which gets me a 20. [00:05:27] Speaker D: Oh, wow. Okay, so you do notice something. So, as night falls, the weather is pretty standard. Like, there's some mist in the air, the waves are pretty large. It's a tad nauseating. But you do notice there's a patch of clouds hanging very low off in the distance to the southeast. [00:05:48] Speaker B: And they're abnormally low. Based on the rest of the clouds. [00:05:51] Speaker D: They are abnormally low and out of place. Yes. They don't fit with the rest of the weather, and it seems kind of localized. Honestly, like, it's too small to be a storm front. [00:06:02] Speaker B: I'll point it out to the group and to twelve and ask just what's with that? [00:06:08] Speaker D: Come to think of it, I have seen some weather like that the last time we ran into the endurance, but I don't know what that is. [00:06:17] Speaker E: Me, the player has seen nope two recently and is very suspicious. [00:06:22] Speaker B: I definitely bit my tongue on some nope jokes there. [00:06:29] Speaker C: That's a big cloud of nope. Out there. Is that what we're coming to? [00:06:33] Speaker E: But I want to investigate it. [00:06:35] Speaker C: Let's go. I mean, this is exactly what we're out here to find, though. [00:06:39] Speaker B: Wait, what was twelve ship's name again? It's not Jean jacket, right? [00:06:43] Speaker C: The red Siren? [00:06:45] Speaker B: I would actually like to history check something like this, if that's all right. [00:06:48] Speaker D: Sure. [00:06:48] Speaker B: See if anything in my books have told me. Okay, well, that's a twelve total. [00:06:55] Speaker D: Legends at sea are numerous and you have heard many a tale of strange weather events. So there's nothing in your history knowledge that would lead you to believe that this isn't fairly common. [00:07:08] Speaker B: Okay. [00:07:08] Speaker C: Does twelve have cannons on her boat? [00:07:10] Speaker D: Twelve does not have cannons. She is not typically in ship to ship combat if she can avoid it. [00:07:17] Speaker C: Right? [00:07:17] Speaker D: Her ship is made to outrun things with cannons. [00:07:22] Speaker C: Okay. Do they have weapons aboard? I know she told us last time her crew was pretty unseasoned for a fight. [00:07:28] Speaker D: They have crossbows in large quantities. [00:07:31] Speaker C: Okay. [00:07:31] Speaker D: And they have lots of swords. They're definitely pirates. Okay, if you don't know pirates, they're definitely warriors of some kind. [00:07:40] Speaker C: Boulain says to twelve, if there was ever a time to arm yourself, this is it. You and your whole crew. [00:07:46] Speaker E: This cloud is not moving closer to. [00:07:48] Speaker C: Us yet, is it? [00:07:49] Speaker D: It's moving, but like, direction at this distance is virtually impossible to tell. Basically, it's far enough away, you have spotted it, you could avoid it. Or go to it. [00:08:00] Speaker E: If we can see this cloud, though, it probably can see us. Fair assumption to make. [00:08:06] Speaker D: If it can see through incredible fog, then true. So twelve says, so what's the plan of engagement? We, like, slide up next to this boat. And then what? [00:08:16] Speaker C: Boot lane looks at Cirrus. [00:08:18] Speaker B: That's a great question. I'm not so good with nautical combat. [00:08:21] Speaker D: Well, we have the ability to outrun it, but it'll take us a couple of minutes to get going. [00:08:27] Speaker C: Could we get going so that we have momentum and then have maneuverability around it? Depending on what we find when we. [00:08:34] Speaker D: Get there, maneuverability really reduces my speed. So if we find a ship that's just like a giant tank of a vessel, we could go around it. But if we're running away, we're running away. [00:08:49] Speaker C: Did they have cannons the last time when you outran them before? [00:08:52] Speaker D: I didn't see any cannons. They didn't shoot at us. [00:08:55] Speaker B: So I have a crazy idea. [00:08:56] Speaker C: All right. [00:08:57] Speaker B: What if, as we buzz by them, one or multiple of us board the ship, maybe secretly, and then as they give chase, we're on board I could. [00:09:10] Speaker E: Disguise myself as one of them if I can get a good description of what they looked like. [00:09:15] Speaker B: I was imagining trailing behind the ship somehow, maybe just holding on to a rope. [00:09:21] Speaker D: Twelve says, okay, I got this. We will slide up next to it as quietly as possible. If the alarm goes out, the fight starts. I will make like I'm running, but I won't get far enough away until I feel like we're going to lose. [00:09:35] Speaker B: All right. And is there a good way to signal you if we need to meet up or bail? [00:09:42] Speaker D: Loud noises would definitely get my attention. We may have to modify the plan as we get closer, but stealth is the plan now. [00:09:50] Speaker B: Sure. [00:09:50] Speaker D: We're going to try it. [00:09:51] Speaker B: All right, let's do it. [00:09:52] Speaker C: So we're going to douse all the lights. [00:09:54] Speaker D: All the lights go out. And she slows the boat with the help of her crew. Paddles start to come out as they begin to slowly steer and glide into the fog. [00:10:06] Speaker E: As we enter the fog, can I cast protection from good and evil on yourself? [00:10:14] Speaker D: Okay. [00:10:16] Speaker C: Sorry, Zuris, that's totally fine by me. [00:10:20] Speaker D: You slide into the will. [00:10:25] Speaker B: So we're getting close to the phenomenon now? [00:10:28] Speaker D: Yeah, you are close enough that visibility is starting to go bad. You are headed into the cloud, essentially. [00:10:33] Speaker B: I'll put up armor of Agadus. [00:10:35] Speaker D: The ship is moving very quietly through the dark. That's really hard to see anything. The other ship apparently also does not have lights. Everybody give me a perception roll. [00:10:46] Speaker E: Okay. I do not have dark vision, so does that impact my ability to roll? [00:10:51] Speaker D: It will change your dc. Just go ahead and roll. [00:10:54] Speaker E: Oh, my God. I'm rolling fives today. [00:11:00] Speaker B: Got a 16. [00:11:02] Speaker C: I got a 13. [00:11:03] Speaker D: You're pretty sure you're in a wall of fog, you don't see another ship. Zerus, you hear noises coming from the water that don't sound like normal lapping waves. [00:11:14] Speaker B: All right, look over the side of the boat. Axe drawn. Yeah. [00:11:19] Speaker D: You see about three or four kind of shark fins that appear to be keeping pace with your boat. [00:11:26] Speaker B: What's the size of the shark fin? [00:11:28] Speaker D: I mean, it's like a normal shark fin, you'd guess it's like a six foot long shark. [00:11:32] Speaker B: All right. Twelve. Do you usually deter sharks that swim alongside? [00:11:39] Speaker D: Sharks don't swim alongside cirrus. That's whales. What are you looking at? [00:11:44] Speaker B: I point out the shark fin. Do you have any chum? [00:11:46] Speaker C: We have. [00:11:47] Speaker D: She says, yeah, we got chum. I don't know if that's going to be good. [00:11:51] Speaker C: Just throw chum in the water. [00:11:56] Speaker B: I figure if they're natural sharks. The chum will steer them off. And if they're not, we'll know. [00:12:02] Speaker D: Yeah. Maybe tosses some leftover fish heads from the previous day's meal overboard. So you saw three or four shark fins. That much was very clear. When the heads hit the water, though the fish heads hit the water, the water begins to churn. There's not three or four sharks. That was just what was at the surface. There's dozens. [00:12:26] Speaker B: That seems unusual. Twelve. [00:12:28] Speaker D: Yeah. I've never seen that before. This is normally when we would run. What do you think, Graham? [00:12:34] Speaker C: We should try to move off while they are distracted with the fish heads. [00:12:38] Speaker D: We can go nice and slow and still try to find the boat, or we can get away from the sharks. [00:12:43] Speaker B: I think we're here to find the boat. And we knew. [00:12:46] Speaker E: Yeah. [00:12:47] Speaker B: It wasn't going to be normal. [00:12:49] Speaker D: Okay, don't fall in. [00:12:52] Speaker C: Noted. [00:12:53] Speaker D: So the fog gets thick enough that from the middle of the ship, it becomes really hard to see the ends of the ship. So twelve begins kind of jogging back and forth across the deck, staring out into the fog. And finally she sort of whispers, all right, I think we got it. And she points basically 10:00 off the front of the ship. There's just enough light that you can see the fog is kind of darker in that spot, but it's large. It's bigger than the boat you're on. [00:13:23] Speaker B: All right, can we determine the stern? [00:13:26] Speaker D: She says it seems to be heading toward the shore, north ish. So we'll pull up right behind it. [00:13:34] Speaker E: Yeah, it's going to be a bit harder to sneak onto the. Yeah, we can't use the water. There's a bunch of shucks in there. At least I'm not going in there. [00:13:43] Speaker B: I would rather not. [00:13:44] Speaker C: Also, would there be ropes hanging off the sternum? [00:13:47] Speaker A: Sure. [00:13:48] Speaker D: It's pirate ship. There's ropes everywhere. [00:13:51] Speaker B: Great. [00:13:52] Speaker C: I think if we are small and sneaky enough, we can pull up alongside it and then we should be able to catch onto one of the ropes hanging off the side. I say, like I know anything about ships. [00:14:02] Speaker D: Works for me. Works for me. Thematically. [00:14:05] Speaker C: Makes sense. [00:14:05] Speaker E: I would also like to remind everyone in case of emergency, that I do have Dicky's ship to ship fire bomb. [00:14:10] Speaker C: That's true. [00:14:11] Speaker B: That's definitely the last resort. [00:14:14] Speaker D: So your ship glides up and it seems to be lost in the churn of the water. And the noise. You're about 3ft from this vessel. It's quite large. The first thing you notice is that this ship has been through numerous storms. It is damaged and unrepaired. Chunks of wood, signs of wood rot, missing boards. It's in bad shape, but there are ropes hanging off of it that look mostly intact. [00:14:45] Speaker C: Are there also nets hanging off the. [00:14:47] Speaker D: Side tatters that look like they were nets at one point that were apparently destroyed? [00:14:51] Speaker B: Is there a name on the stern? [00:14:53] Speaker D: No, there is not. [00:14:54] Speaker C: Dirt flag. [00:14:54] Speaker D: You can't see it in the fog. It would be too high, unfortunately. You can roll me a history roll. [00:15:02] Speaker C: That's a one. [00:15:04] Speaker B: I scored a 19. [00:15:06] Speaker D: You know this, Zerus, because as you were walking around, you eyed the ships that were in the harbor. This one is a very similar design to the company which basically travels southeast around the continent and into the great waste desert. Their ships are varying sizes to travel varying distances, but they all have a very utilitarian design to them. They are not meant for combat. But this appears to be an old trading vessel. [00:15:35] Speaker B: All right. [00:15:36] Speaker C: As we're getting closer to it, Boulain will go up to everyone and cast guidance on everybody. [00:15:41] Speaker D: Can only do one person at a time with the guidance. [00:15:43] Speaker B: I got it. I know what to do. [00:15:44] Speaker E: Give it to one of us at a time while we transfer over. We could make your dreams happen. [00:15:51] Speaker B: I don't want to throw a hook. [00:15:52] Speaker D: On the boat that's going to call. [00:15:53] Speaker B: Attention to us, but give me two hooks with your ropes. [00:15:59] Speaker D: You get two hooks. [00:16:00] Speaker B: Okay. Hold on to this end of the rope and I'll take your guidance. [00:16:05] Speaker D: Okay, Max and Kim, hold on to the rope. [00:16:09] Speaker B: I guess I need four. Just one for everybody. I forgot about them. Rage and jump and grab onto a rope and climb up as quietly as I can. [00:16:19] Speaker D: Give me an athletics roll. [00:16:20] Speaker B: I thought you might say that. Oh, man. Even with advantage, I've rolled two fours. [00:16:27] Speaker C: Oh, no. [00:16:30] Speaker E: So badly, so fast. [00:16:32] Speaker B: The total score is four, plus two from guidance, plus six from athletics. So I still have a twelve total. [00:16:38] Speaker D: You get a hold of the rope. It's wet. That's not the problem. When your feet connect with the side of the ship those are wet. You do not lose your footing and slam the weight of your body into the side of their ship, making a loud noise. Instead, you manage to keep your footing, but only barely, and you can slip up the deck. [00:16:56] Speaker B: I would like to do that cautiously, checking the deck for people nearby before I pop my head over. [00:17:02] Speaker D: When you pop over the deck, you can hear like, sad moaning. And as you hop up on the deck, there is one body near you just laying out. It looks like people have eaten it. [00:17:18] Speaker B: All right, but it doesn't appear animate. [00:17:20] Speaker D: No. [00:17:20] Speaker B: And it doesn't appear to notice me. [00:17:23] Speaker D: No. [00:17:23] Speaker B: Great. [00:17:24] Speaker D: But you can hear other things on the ship for sure. [00:17:27] Speaker B: I will crouch down and quietly hook the other hooks onto the side of the ship and tug. [00:17:32] Speaker D: The rope goes taunt. Max uses this opportunity to hop over. Four is apparently the number we're going to be rolling these days. [00:17:40] Speaker C: God. [00:17:42] Speaker D: Let's see if Max has enough skill to make that. Oh, he does. He's good. [00:17:46] Speaker B: I was hoping the dry. [00:17:47] Speaker C: I can give him guidance now, too. [00:17:50] Speaker B: I was hoping the dry ropes already secured. [00:17:54] Speaker D: Would the dry ropes help? The DC is only ten. Max just makes that DC skittering up the side just fine. Chem's going to make the leap. Chem is a natural born athlete. Must be his giant blood he claims to have. [00:18:07] Speaker E: Oh, boy. Creedon just saw Xeris and Max struggle with this. It is terribly nervous. [00:18:15] Speaker D: The side of the ship looks slippery and sort of like rotted wood. DC's tent. [00:18:19] Speaker B: Can I help her from the other end of the rope by pulling her up? [00:18:25] Speaker D: I think given the size of the other two characters that might be helpful. I'm still going to need an athletics check to not fall in the water though. [00:18:32] Speaker C: From them, Boulain will cast guidance on. [00:18:35] Speaker D: Cretan and you have advantage because Xeris is going to help haul you up. [00:18:40] Speaker E: I don't think I need it, actually. My guidance got rid of my negative one, but I got an 18 dice. [00:18:47] Speaker D: Okay, nailed it. You don't weigh a lot and so you just sort of pithball off the side of this ship as you skitter up. Boulain, that leaves you last one. [00:18:59] Speaker C: Good night, nurse. [00:19:00] Speaker E: All right, I am ready with telekinesis to pull you towards me. [00:19:06] Speaker C: Hold on. That's a ten minus one plus one. And then is yours helping? [00:19:11] Speaker B: Can I help her with mage hand? [00:19:13] Speaker D: No, mage hand is not enough strength. [00:19:15] Speaker B: Yes, I will help. I will try to help. [00:19:18] Speaker D: Okay. Bolaina doesn't look real good, but you managed to get up there sans style. [00:19:25] Speaker C: San style. She flops over the rail. [00:19:31] Speaker D: It smells like even with all the water washing around, this deck smells of rotten meat and human masses. [00:19:41] Speaker C: All right, Boulain cast stomaturgy on herself so she can't smell it. [00:19:45] Speaker A: Just a second. [00:19:46] Speaker D: I'll be rolling that there perception check. What smell did you choose to smell like? Boulain, let's go with lavender. [00:19:55] Speaker E: Hayden has honeysuckle perfume inventory. [00:19:59] Speaker D: You're on the top of this deck and a face sort of pops up over the edge of the deck. So imagine you're on sort of a top tier deck. There's a lower deck that sort of rolls out to the front of the ship. A head pops up from that lower tiered deck and looks up and you can see it just, like, smelling, pulling air in. It looks like a starved man. The skin is all slack. There's not an ounce of fat on their face. Looks like their hair's fallen out in places. And it goes. Smells like tea. And then it says, food. [00:20:36] Speaker B: Yeah. Okay, well, I attack. I'm ready for initiative. [00:20:39] Speaker D: I'm going to need initiative. Roll from everybody. [00:20:41] Speaker E: Seems like that time. [00:20:44] Speaker C: That's better. 19. [00:20:46] Speaker E: Thank goodness for my advantage. [00:20:47] Speaker D: Anybody beat 19? [00:20:49] Speaker C: No, I got a 19. [00:20:52] Speaker D: Chem the chum is first. Max is second. [00:20:56] Speaker E: Dang. [00:20:56] Speaker B: Oh, wow. [00:20:57] Speaker D: Creedon is next. [00:20:58] Speaker C: Speedy. [00:20:59] Speaker D: Boulain. Xeris. [00:21:01] Speaker B: Well, and I mean Xeris got a five. [00:21:04] Speaker D: That's good. I rolled a two for this other thing. Chem pulls two swords, but isn't going to start the attack because he's not in charge at the moment. Max pulls a big old axe, also doesn't start the attack. He's not in charge. Creedon. There's a face that shouted food. [00:21:23] Speaker C: Okay. [00:21:23] Speaker E: It shouted it. So we can assume that other things have heard something. I'm going to do the classic eldritch blast, baby. [00:21:33] Speaker D: Sure. [00:21:35] Speaker E: Oh, my God. It's, like, all good or all bad for the roles. Does an eleven happen to hit? [00:21:43] Speaker D: No, it does not. Well, heartbeam bounces into the deck and then, like, a bubble just sort of floats off. [00:21:49] Speaker E: It's pretty rude. [00:21:50] Speaker D: Boulain, what's up? [00:21:51] Speaker C: I would like to use my eyes of the grave feature to figure out if there are undead around us. [00:21:56] Speaker D: There are no undead. [00:21:58] Speaker C: There are no undead. They are alive. Okay. Good to know that matters. [00:22:02] Speaker B: They're just not undead. [00:22:06] Speaker C: Oh, wait, no. I did the eyes of the grave. Is that a bonus action? [00:22:09] Speaker D: No, eyes of the grave is actually a full action. [00:22:11] Speaker C: Oh, it's actually a full action. So I couldn't even do the sacred flame. I should do the spiritual weapon then. Sorry, I don't mean to cheat. It just happens. [00:22:19] Speaker E: How dare you not have the whole book memorized? [00:22:23] Speaker C: How could you? I know. That's a 21. [00:22:27] Speaker D: 21 hits. [00:22:28] Speaker C: All right? And that's eight points of force damage. [00:22:34] Speaker D: Okay. You crack him. It makes a gruesome noise. He still appears to be alive. [00:22:39] Speaker A: Zirus. [00:22:40] Speaker B: I will also recklessly crack him. So, 19. I don't think I have any improved criticals, so that is ten slashing. Eleven. Fire. [00:22:55] Speaker D: Okay, you hit him, he screams. And splits in half, bawling backwards, blood spraying everywhere. That brings us to other things. Leaping out of the fog onto the top of the deck are ragged looking people. Whatever they were wearing is largely destroyed by probably weather exposure. They are real skinny. Real, real skinny. Visibly dehydrated. They look to be in bad, bad shape. And they are swinging hunks of driftwood with nails jabbed through it. [00:23:33] Speaker B: Are they wet as if just coming from the ocean? [00:23:36] Speaker D: No, they're damp, as if being sprayed by ocean mist. But they do not appear to be soaking wet. [00:23:42] Speaker B: Great. [00:23:42] Speaker E: Yeah. For clarity, did they just kind of, like, materialize out of the fog on the sides of the ship? Or are they all coming from that ledge where that first they appear to. [00:23:50] Speaker D: Be coming from the lower deck. So from the back of the ship, you cannot see the front of the ship. So they're essentially charging out of the fog and leaping onto the deck. [00:24:00] Speaker B: Great. [00:24:01] Speaker D: Six of them spill onto the deck and you hear more shouting behind them. They appear to attempt to swarm you. Xeris, you're in front. So two of them immediately slam into you with big weapons. [00:24:14] Speaker B: Sounds great. [00:24:17] Speaker D: Does a 14 hit your ac? [00:24:19] Speaker B: 14 does hit my ac. [00:24:20] Speaker D: Were you reckless? [00:24:21] Speaker B: I was. [00:24:22] Speaker D: Never mind. That's a crit instead. [00:24:24] Speaker B: Sure. [00:24:27] Speaker C: I can uncrit a crit. [00:24:29] Speaker E: Same convenience. [00:24:31] Speaker C: Sentinel at death door. I can do that. As a reaction. A critical hit becomes a normal hit. Yeah. Okay. [00:24:37] Speaker D: Two normal hits against Ziris then. [00:24:39] Speaker B: Sounds good. [00:24:40] Speaker D: Xeros, take 14 damage. [00:24:43] Speaker B: Is there an elemental type or is it just bludgeoning? [00:24:47] Speaker D: It is just straight up bludging and piercing. [00:24:50] Speaker B: Okay, I'm going to take nine damage. And I'm assuming they both did over five damage. [00:24:54] Speaker D: They did, yes. [00:24:56] Speaker B: Then the first one's going to take five cold from the armor. [00:24:59] Speaker D: Okay, so the first one takes five cold. Doesn't seem to slow down at all. Two of them smack you. Four of them go to run by you zeers. Should we take an attack of opportunity at one? If you wish. [00:25:10] Speaker B: Yes, I would like to. Nope, that's a one. [00:25:14] Speaker D: Okay, you swing in a miss. The four of them that run by slam into Max and Chem. [00:25:21] Speaker C: I thought his name was Chom. [00:25:22] Speaker E: Yeah, I also thought his name was Chom. [00:25:24] Speaker D: Well, his name probably is Chom. [00:25:26] Speaker E: Then I think I asked how it was spelled and you said C-H-O-M-I mean. [00:25:32] Speaker C: I think I wrote down C-H-O-M last time. [00:25:35] Speaker E: I also did. [00:25:36] Speaker D: All right, he's now Chom. The chum chom swings with his weapons ferociously, hitting three times. [00:25:48] Speaker E: Nice. [00:25:49] Speaker D: And killing. This creature that is in front of him. [00:25:53] Speaker E: Nice, nice. [00:25:55] Speaker D: It, however, did get a swing in at Chom, but was not successful in hitting him. Max is not successful in hitting his guy. His guy fails a second time. Guy does hit Max, Max takes four damage zeros. Two badly dehydrated skin and bone. Hands reach up over the deck and grab at your feet. Please give me an athletics check. [00:26:22] Speaker B: 16, so 22, they got a 14. [00:26:24] Speaker D: Hands grab at your feet and try to pull you flat under your back and fail. That is going to bring us to those two. Slam into Max, slam into chem. One of them runs for Boulain. Chem misses his attack of opportunity. Boulain. One of them runs up and hits you with a club. It will not connect with your ac. [00:26:45] Speaker C: Excellent. [00:26:46] Speaker D: One of them runs by Max. Max succeeds in cracking him pretty bad. Rolling. Sad, sad. Minimum damage and it charges Creedon. [00:26:56] Speaker E: I don't like it. A reminder that if it is an aberration, celestial elemental, fay fiend, or we know it's not undead, then it has some disadvantage. [00:27:06] Speaker D: It appears to be a dude in bad shape. Real, real bad shape. But a seven is not going to hit you. [00:27:13] Speaker E: No. [00:27:13] Speaker D: That's going to bring us to Creedence. [00:27:15] Speaker E: I'm kind of trying to get an idea of our position. [00:27:16] Speaker D: So there's, at this juncture, two are on Xeris, one is on you, one is on Boulain, and one is on mean. [00:27:26] Speaker E: I think. I think Credence just going to try to eldridge blast this one in front. [00:27:30] Speaker C: Of her, I guess. [00:27:31] Speaker E: Yeah, this round. That's what I'm going to do. Bounce it. Nap 20, baby. [00:27:38] Speaker A: Okay. [00:27:39] Speaker D: You shoot the one that's on you. [00:27:41] Speaker E: Yeah, let me. All right, that is 16 force damage. [00:27:49] Speaker D: This is one that Max succeeded in hitting. [00:27:52] Speaker A: It dies. [00:27:52] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:27:53] Speaker D: Your purple heart sort of withers part of it and it collapses on the floor in front of you very, very much. Skin and bones. Like, you can see every bone in this guy's body. Which brings us to Bulain. [00:28:05] Speaker C: She's going to cast bane on the two that are on Zyrus and the one that's on her. And then she's going to bring her spiritual weapon over to the one that's on her. [00:28:18] Speaker D: Two on xeros are baned. The one on you makes a save somehow. [00:28:23] Speaker C: All right, well, at least yours are baned. [00:28:25] Speaker B: All right. [00:28:25] Speaker C: And the spiritual weapon is a ten. Does that hit? No, probably not. [00:28:30] Speaker D: No. They just appear to have some kind of toughness that appears to be born of desperation. It's going to bring us to zeros. There are two on you and two grabbing at your feet. [00:28:42] Speaker B: So there are four total. Is there more noise in the distance? [00:28:46] Speaker D: Oh, yeah. You've stirred up a nest. [00:28:49] Speaker B: We will rage. I'll do reckless attacks. 18 to hit is going to be actually a 25. Five slashing. Two radiant nine fire. [00:29:01] Speaker D: It appears to still be alive. [00:29:03] Speaker B: Okay, go ahead and use a bonus action to turn on the fire. So I will use the chromatic dragon's gift, and we'll attack him recklessly again. That's a 25 again to hit. [00:29:25] Speaker D: Yep. [00:29:26] Speaker B: Nine slashing, eight flame. [00:29:28] Speaker D: You kill that one, that's me. Six more leap up out of the fog onto the deck. Zeros. You may have an attack of opportunity on one of them. [00:29:38] Speaker B: I will absolutely take that. [00:29:41] Speaker D: As one stops to swing at you and misses. [00:29:47] Speaker B: So 13 to hit. [00:29:48] Speaker D: That hits. [00:29:49] Speaker B: All right, that's going to be nine slashing, 20 damage total. [00:29:54] Speaker D: Okay, you severely injure this one, it does not appear to slow down at all. And it's going to charge Max. Succeeding in smacking Max for a couple more damage. Another one charges. [00:30:12] Speaker C: Have a thousand names. Chom chim chem smacking him. [00:30:18] Speaker D: Two of them run by Chom and Max. Max manages to smack one of them. That one closes with Creedon. There's one on Creedon and one on Boulain. Creedon, you are hit. Take seven, damage. [00:30:34] Speaker E: Yeah. Okay. [00:30:35] Speaker D: Boulane does a 15. [00:30:36] Speaker C: Hit. Yes. [00:30:38] Speaker D: Take seven, damage. [00:30:39] Speaker E: I forgot how to do basic math. [00:30:42] Speaker C: Okay, it's hard sometimes it can be hard. I usually add it up until it gets to my hP. [00:30:49] Speaker E: That's not a bad idea. [00:30:50] Speaker D: Zerus, I need an athletics check from you raging now. [00:30:55] Speaker B: So that's good. It's a natural 20, so 26. [00:31:01] Speaker E: Nice. [00:31:01] Speaker D: I'm sad because I also nat 20. Then you definitely beat me. Chem does his blender of death maneuver, swinging so many swords. [00:31:16] Speaker C: Chom cham chem, for our listeners, could. [00:31:18] Speaker E: Be like, who is this guy? [00:31:19] Speaker D: These three new dudes doing a substantial amount of damage, but this last guy's still up Max. [00:31:27] Speaker C: Which would be great if we had three new dudes instead of just one new dude, like, pulling for us. [00:31:31] Speaker E: Yeah. That was Kim's turn. Don't forget Chom and chim. [00:31:36] Speaker C: Don't forget Chum. Chum's there, too. [00:31:39] Speaker E: Yeah. Our fourth mead shield. We're building an army. [00:31:44] Speaker B: No, unfortunately. Chums in the water. [00:31:46] Speaker D: Max hits a dude, chums in the water. [00:31:48] Speaker E: All right, I'm up. How far away am I from the other? [00:31:53] Speaker D: You're within 10ft of everything. [00:31:56] Speaker E: Okay. Thunderstep is not the thing to do. [00:31:58] Speaker C: Then we would appreciate it if you didn't do that. [00:32:05] Speaker B: I'm all right with it. [00:32:09] Speaker C: Okay. [00:32:10] Speaker E: Yeah, I guess I'm just going to. Eldridge, blast this one in front of me again. Want to do something different? But I don't want to blow up my party. [00:32:17] Speaker C: You've got an honest to God bomb on you if you want to blow up the party. [00:32:21] Speaker E: I don't want to do that. That is a 24 to hit. [00:32:24] Speaker D: That hits. [00:32:25] Speaker E: I sure hope so. And that is nine forest damage. [00:32:30] Speaker D: Okay. It is still alive, I guess. Boulain, there's two on you now. [00:32:37] Speaker C: There are two on me now? [00:32:39] Speaker D: Yeah, one of them's in really bad shape. [00:32:41] Speaker C: How many bad guys are within 5ft of me? [00:32:44] Speaker D: Three. [00:32:45] Speaker C: Three. All right, she's going to cast word of radiance, which they all three need to make a concave. How'd they do? [00:32:52] Speaker D: 1710. Six. [00:32:53] Speaker C: All right. Ten and six are going to take two d. Six damage, which is five apiece. [00:33:00] Speaker D: Okay. The one that you have hit already dies. And one that is on creden dies. [00:33:05] Speaker C: Great. And then she'll go ahead and move the spiritual weapon to the other one that was on her. Four and eleven. [00:33:15] Speaker D: That will not hit. [00:33:16] Speaker C: Damn it. [00:33:16] Speaker D: Xeris, there are two on you currently, one of which is baned. [00:33:21] Speaker B: The ones at my feet. [00:33:23] Speaker D: And there are still two snagging at your feet? Yes. [00:33:25] Speaker C: All right. [00:33:25] Speaker B: Well, I will start with the one that is not baned, and I will attack recklessly and roll a grip of dice. [00:33:33] Speaker E: That sounds like so many dice. [00:33:37] Speaker B: It is a lot of dice. [00:33:39] Speaker C: It sounds like a satisfying number of dice. [00:33:43] Speaker B: 15. And you just want total damage, right? [00:33:45] Speaker D: They don't have any resistances. They're just people. [00:33:48] Speaker B: 18 damage. [00:33:49] Speaker E: Okay, I guess we are doing a bunch of murder, but, I mean, they. [00:33:54] Speaker C: Have also done a bunch of. It's true. [00:33:56] Speaker E: We have pretty good evidence that they've been cannibalizing people. [00:34:01] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:34:02] Speaker B: That brings us to 1014. Yeah, it's dead. 1616 damage. [00:34:10] Speaker D: Yeah, you kill it. Swarming out of the fog comes six more. [00:34:15] Speaker C: Fucking hell. I thought there were only twelve on this ship, total. [00:34:20] Speaker D: Who told you that? Must have been some. [00:34:23] Speaker E: I'm debating clearing this fog so we can actually see. [00:34:26] Speaker C: You can clear the fog? [00:34:28] Speaker E: Well, I can attempt to dispel magic. I'm guessing it's magic. [00:34:33] Speaker C: Probably a magic fog. [00:34:35] Speaker E: I don't know what level it is. I can try. [00:34:37] Speaker D: Zeros. 14 damage. As two of them manage to hit you with clubs. [00:34:41] Speaker B: Okay, I'm going to have that. Is that all right? [00:34:43] Speaker D: That's great. Chem does not get hit. Max does. Creedon and Boane, two more spill through. Creedon, you have one on you now. It goes to hit you. A twelve does not hit. [00:34:59] Speaker E: Not quite. [00:35:00] Speaker D: Boulain, you have two on you now. One hits, one misses. Take seven, damage. Zerus, you are still close enough to the edge that two of them can grab at your feet. Please give me an athletics roll. [00:35:14] Speaker B: Eight and a five. Which brings my total up to 14. [00:35:17] Speaker D: I also got a 14. Ties are going to go to you so they do not pull you down onto your back yet again. [00:35:24] Speaker B: Barbarian. Too strong. [00:35:25] Speaker D: Chem chum. The chum succeeds in only connecting. No, he connects twice. Chem murders one and does significant damage to another. Max kills one on him. Creedon, there's one on you. [00:35:44] Speaker E: But I don't think I want to do that. I think I want to try to clear this fog and see what happens. It'll make it harder to hide, but at least we'll be able to see what we're working with. [00:35:54] Speaker D: All right, I need you to roll me a spellcaster check. So please roll and add your charisma modifier. [00:36:01] Speaker E: I'm guessing this is more than love. Oh, no. [00:36:06] Speaker C: Oh, God. [00:36:08] Speaker E: That didn't go good. That's like a seven. [00:36:13] Speaker D: Your spell absolutely fizzles. Please roll me a knowledge. Religion roll. [00:36:18] Speaker E: But I'm bad at that. Despite being raised in church. That is a 16. Actually, not too bad. [00:36:24] Speaker D: The spell you were attempting to dispel carries divine power behind it. You just tried to dispel a God's curse. It didn't work. Go figure. [00:36:35] Speaker E: Going to yell out. [00:36:36] Speaker C: This fog is lane. [00:36:39] Speaker D: There's two on you and there's two. [00:36:41] Speaker C: More within 5ft of me. [00:36:43] Speaker D: There is one more within five. [00:36:45] Speaker C: All right, she's going to do word of radiance again on all three of them. Okay. [00:36:49] Speaker E: I hope it's the one next to me. [00:36:50] Speaker D: Recon saves. It is come to 18. 1413. [00:36:55] Speaker C: All right. 14 and 13 are going to take five points of radiant damage, and then she's going to do spiritual weapon on one of the ones on her. Oh, that's better. That's a 24. [00:37:13] Speaker D: That hits. [00:37:14] Speaker C: That's eleven points of force damage. [00:37:17] Speaker D: It's standing sort of zeros. There are three on you. One is baned. [00:37:23] Speaker B: Yeah, I'll start hacking the ones at my feet, trying to chop some hands off. Say, 17. That hits 21 damage. [00:37:36] Speaker D: Jeez. Yeah, you hit one on the ground real bad. [00:37:39] Speaker E: So cool. [00:37:41] Speaker B: But he's still alive. [00:37:44] Speaker D: Yeah. [00:37:45] Speaker B: I mean, still in whatever state he's in. Still holding on to my ankles. That's the problem. [00:37:50] Speaker D: Yeah, his arms are still flapping at your feet. Well, one of his arms is now. [00:37:55] Speaker B: We are going to stop that. [00:37:58] Speaker C: We can take care of this. [00:38:00] Speaker B: 26 to hit. That is 1017 again, 21 damage. [00:38:05] Speaker D: That one is very dead. The last one that is still on the lower deck that has been grabbing at zeros's feet stands up. Zeros. There are now four on you, which is going to potentially be bad. Let's see what happens. Does an eleven hit your ac? [00:38:21] Speaker B: It does not. [00:38:23] Speaker D: Are you swinging recklessly? Yeah. They're all four going to hit. That is going to be 28 damage. Half of that. [00:38:29] Speaker B: Yes. I'll take 14. [00:38:30] Speaker C: Holy. How are you doing? [00:38:32] Speaker B: I'm under half now. [00:38:33] Speaker C: Okay. [00:38:34] Speaker D: All right. Something jumps onto the deck, and it smells truly atrocious. Everybody give me a constitution saving throw. Yes. [00:38:42] Speaker B: This is what I'm waiting for. [00:38:44] Speaker E: Oh, my God. That's an eight. [00:38:46] Speaker D: That's an 1811 Creedon. You're poisoned. [00:38:50] Speaker C: Oh, shit. [00:38:52] Speaker D: Disadvantage on attacks and anything else you would like to do. [00:38:55] Speaker E: So rude. [00:38:57] Speaker D: Whatever that is. That just jumped on charges Chom the chum and slams into Chom's chest. Chom uses his swords to catch himself on the sort of rim of the deck and does not go over the edge. But this big creature is attempting to shove Chom into a pool of sharks. [00:39:20] Speaker B: Tell me it's a wear shark. [00:39:22] Speaker D: Can't tell you that. [00:39:24] Speaker C: What does this thing look like? [00:39:25] Speaker D: It looks like a particularly foul, filth ridden version of everything else that's been attacking you. It smells worse than the rest of them, but that's about it. [00:39:37] Speaker C: But it's humanoid. [00:39:38] Speaker D: Yep. One on Creedon. That's a hit. Creedon takes seven damage. Two on Boulain. That is two misses. [00:39:45] Speaker C: Excellent. [00:39:46] Speaker D: Chem, who tries to whirlwind. Blizzard of. Oh, gosh, chem, you are terrifying right now. [00:39:54] Speaker C: Excellent. [00:39:55] Speaker E: Happy. He's on our side. [00:39:57] Speaker C: Chom taught him everything he knew. [00:39:59] Speaker D: Chem, Chom, the chum hits for 30 damage. Whatever he's fighting is still up. Max has two on him. He proceeds to. Ooh. Brutally destroy one of them and badly injure the other. Creighton, there's one left on you. It has taken some damage. [00:40:19] Speaker E: Well, I did remember, and I apologize to any listeners screaming at their podcast listening devices that I can cast eldritch blast twice. I have two beams. Basically an extra attack. I was like, I feel like my turns have been sucking a little more. [00:40:35] Speaker C: Like I'm forgetting something here. [00:40:36] Speaker E: Supposed to be not. That'll help me with disadvantage. Can I roll a knowledge check of some kind to remember how to fix poison medicine? Sure can't hurt to roll a medicine check. That's an 18. [00:40:48] Speaker D: You think if you can get out of the stink smell, you'll probably be fine pretty soon. In the meantime, you would just like to throw up everything in your stomach. [00:40:58] Speaker E: I can't thunderstep anymore, but I can get away with some stuff in the future. [00:41:04] Speaker D: Run to the lower deck if you wish. [00:41:06] Speaker E: I don't know about that. We don't know. I'm going to go ahead and attempt to shoot the guy. That's on me twice. [00:41:13] Speaker D: Okay. [00:41:14] Speaker E: Jeez. That is a twelve to hit. [00:41:18] Speaker D: That will just hit. [00:41:19] Speaker C: Cool. [00:41:20] Speaker E: And that is nine force damage. [00:41:22] Speaker D: Okay, you're going to shoot a second time. [00:41:24] Speaker C: Yes. [00:41:24] Speaker E: That one went well. That is a 23 to hit. [00:41:28] Speaker D: Super hit. [00:41:29] Speaker E: When that is ten force damage, it goes down. [00:41:33] Speaker D: Blaine, there's still two on you. [00:41:34] Speaker E: I want to move. I want to try to move out of the sink cloud. [00:41:37] Speaker D: You can get off the big deck and onto the little. [00:41:41] Speaker E: Can I run up to the edge of the big deck and see if I'm about to jump down into a ton of people before I do it? [00:41:48] Speaker D: You will run by a horde of four to do that maneuver because there's a pile of them on Ziris. [00:41:54] Speaker E: Okay, so the only way for me to try to get down there is to take some attacks of opportunity. [00:41:59] Speaker D: You could also grab a rope and swing off the side of the ship. [00:42:04] Speaker C: One of the rotten. [00:42:06] Speaker E: I think I'd rather be poisoned. [00:42:08] Speaker B: You could pirate your way out of the situation. Just saying. [00:42:12] Speaker E: I mean, it would be very cool. I guess I don't have disadvantage on skillshare. [00:42:17] Speaker B: I'm definitely not suggesting just. You wanted to be a pirate. [00:42:23] Speaker E: Yolo. Feeling nauseous. [00:42:24] Speaker C: Sucks. [00:42:25] Speaker E: Creighton wants out of this. Creedon is going to try to swing on the rope to the lower deck and see what happens. [00:42:32] Speaker B: Heck, if pirates can do it, so can you. [00:42:33] Speaker E: I have a plan in case I end up in danger. [00:42:36] Speaker C: She is a pirate, damn it. [00:42:38] Speaker E: So am I. Rolling athletics? Acrobatics. [00:42:42] Speaker D: Actually, let me finish a statement that I forgot to say before. So chem and this big creature are actually wrestling and they both go overboard. Now finish your turn. [00:42:52] Speaker E: Oh, man, that's different. [00:42:54] Speaker C: Go yank chem up onto the deck. [00:42:57] Speaker D: Again, good news, because they just went overboard it. You are not poisoned anymore. [00:43:11] Speaker A: Apprentices. Once in the early days of this world, there was just the radiant one, the luminous one, and the green man. They began to create life green man created plants, filling the world with verdant green vegetation, and set out to make the animals. The luminous one and the radiant one set out to assist. And so the radiant one created the whispering shepherd to help by bringing souls from the divine realm to reside in creation. And when the beings, these animals, began to consume each other, the luminous one created the silent judge to gently usher the souls back from where they came. Things were at peace. But the sun and the moon are eternally jealous of the other's works. And so the luminous one created the first fay without a single form. Their shape was unknowable and blessed with magic. It was common to change, but they were above the animals. And so she exempted the souls of the fay from the reach of the silent judge. Some believe the fay simply have no soul at all. [00:44:22] Speaker D: Jealous. [00:44:24] Speaker A: The radiant one created the mortals, solid in form. Like the animals, they held closer to the ways of life and death, in an attempt to please the green man. To these two creations, of fay and mortal, a pair of gods were forged to govern each. For the luminous one's creations, the fay, eternal knowledge and eternal cycle were born to govern the nature of fay and the pacts between them. For humanity, divine mercy and sister truth were formed to govern their nature. And the pacts between humans, sister truth and eternal knowledge were immediately caught in conflict as the two governed the relationships between their followers very differently. And in short order, their followers were drawn to conflict as well. The green men set these peoples apart, carving their world into two, one a reflection of the other, separating them by a great veil of divine power. The fay were on one side, the mortals on the other. To govern the potential of war between them, the green men created brother ambition, and to give the humans a chance should the conflict continue, he gifted them divine hammer. Now you understand why our worlds are different, how they became so estrained. You are wizards, apprentices. You wield the same power of magic the fay were gifted. Do not fear them, for you are their equal. They are separate and potentially immortal. They may have an edge, but you have love and creativity. You have the muse of divine hammer and divine mercy. If they, the fay, bear their teeth at you, meet their gaze and know that you, among all of humanity, are there equal. [00:46:28] Speaker E: Wait, did that happen before my turn? [00:46:31] Speaker D: It did. [00:46:32] Speaker E: Oh, gosh. There's no way that I could pull him up. Can I run up to the edge and try to, like, telekinetic pull, chom chum? [00:46:40] Speaker C: Sure. [00:46:40] Speaker D: Kim, you run up to the edge, try to telekinetically pull. If he's within 30 chum out of the water. [00:46:47] Speaker C: Yes. [00:46:48] Speaker E: Going to yell don't fight it because he can just get pulled 5ft towards me if he doesn't fight it. [00:46:54] Speaker D: So you yank him out of the water. He slams into the side of the boat where he is able to grab a rope successfully. The monster, creature, human that was fighting him grabbed a rope on the way over the side and was not in the water. There are now probably six or seven sharks snapping at Chem's boots. Boulain, there is two on you. [00:47:16] Speaker C: Can I see over the side of the ship where they are where chom and the dude are, or the monster is. [00:47:23] Speaker D: You can, by moving slightly. [00:47:25] Speaker C: Okay. She will move slightly to do that. And she's going to cast her channel divinity on the monster and she's going to use path to the grave. Let me describe this dramatically. She touches the raven on her chest and calls on the silent judge and channels her divinity to the path of the grave on this monster. And it is cursed until the end of my next term. And the next time it engages anybody, it has vulnerability to all of that attacks, damage, and then the curse ends. [00:47:54] Speaker D: Roll me a religion check. [00:47:55] Speaker C: Okay. [00:47:56] Speaker E: Can't curse what's already cursed. Maybe, I don't know. [00:48:02] Speaker B: You said it was so much conviction. [00:48:05] Speaker C: 16. [00:48:06] Speaker D: This thing is a cursed magnet. It's like it's cursed. For additional curses. Curse is super effective. [00:48:13] Speaker C: So I piled curses on the curse, and then I'm going to do a bonus action spiritual weapon on one of the ones that's on me. Preferably the one that's on desk door. [00:48:21] Speaker D: Do it. [00:48:22] Speaker C: That is a 22 that hits. [00:48:23] Speaker E: This thing is like a full square jar. [00:48:25] Speaker C: And that's an eight force damage. Okay. [00:48:29] Speaker D: There is still one on you that is mostly fresh. [00:48:32] Speaker C: Fresh and ripe. [00:48:34] Speaker E: Fresh as these things get. [00:48:38] Speaker D: There's one on you, one on Max, and four on zeros. It's your turn. [00:48:41] Speaker E: Maybe we can try to let them know that we want to fix their curse and maybe that could change things. [00:48:46] Speaker C: I do have remove curse. [00:48:49] Speaker B: All right, excellent. Excellent. [00:48:52] Speaker C: I forgot about that. [00:48:53] Speaker B: So I will give each of them an attack of opportunity as I go off the side, grab a rope and make to chop the big guy. [00:49:04] Speaker D: Okay. One of them hits you, please take 14 damage. Half of that, actually is 714 damage in one hit. That's a spike. One of them crits you as you're. [00:49:16] Speaker B: Running away, grabbing a rope and swinging towards the bat guy to attack him. I will curse him. I don't know if that's going to do more because it's a curse. But I'm going to curse him. [00:49:27] Speaker D: Double the effects of any curses. Cool. [00:49:30] Speaker B: I will do so. And then I'm going to attack him. I'm guessing he's not a dragon. [00:49:36] Speaker D: He's not a dragon. [00:49:38] Speaker B: Okay. [00:49:38] Speaker C: Unfortunately, that's the only thing that could make this better. [00:49:41] Speaker B: I'm going to recklessly try to slice him. That's a nat 20. That's pretty bonkers. Okay, give me 1 second to grab another set of dice. [00:49:54] Speaker C: Boy, this is like the whammy damage. The whammy of whammy. [00:49:58] Speaker B: Just a second. One, two. [00:50:00] Speaker D: And then multiply it by. [00:50:02] Speaker E: Oh, my God. [00:50:04] Speaker B: Hold on. [00:50:07] Speaker E: Record breaking numbers over here. [00:50:09] Speaker B: 40. So on the dice, it's 44 plus times four. Wait. [00:50:16] Speaker E: Oh, my God. [00:50:17] Speaker B: I'm not done. Because the dice are 44. But that also plus four from the weapon and plus six from the curse because you said it's doubled. So that's another ten. So 54 times four. [00:50:30] Speaker C: That's 216. [00:50:32] Speaker E: Jesus, this can't. [00:50:35] Speaker C: 54 times. [00:50:36] Speaker E: This is impossible. [00:50:39] Speaker D: 216. I'm just going to go ahead and cross hit him off. [00:50:48] Speaker C: Well done. Well done, Zoros. [00:50:51] Speaker E: We need cleave rules in this so you can cut through and just keep going. [00:50:55] Speaker B: I gained three hit points for killing him. [00:50:58] Speaker D: Oh, good. [00:51:00] Speaker B: Yes. Can I finish my action back up on the deck? Because I have another attack. [00:51:05] Speaker D: Flying back up to the deck is going to put you next to Max, where there is a guy. [00:51:10] Speaker B: Sure, I'll get it. Recklessly. Give me a second to get the right Dice. Loaded. So, 16. And that's going to be. That is much less. 1018 damage. [00:51:24] Speaker D: Less than 216, you say? [00:51:25] Speaker C: Yeah, it's anticlimactic, Robert. [00:51:28] Speaker D: I mean, come on. Well, so the one on Max actually swings at max, hitting him again. The one on Boulain. Swings at Boulain. Does a 15 hit you, Blaine? [00:51:40] Speaker C: Yes. [00:51:40] Speaker D: Takes seven damage the four that were on Xeris when he ran away. [00:51:47] Speaker B: I just wouldn't characterize that as running away, counselor. [00:51:51] Speaker D: Okay, that's fair. [00:51:54] Speaker C: Tactically, did you run away from where. [00:51:58] Speaker D: They were creed in? [00:52:02] Speaker E: Yeah. [00:52:02] Speaker D: I need you to give me an athletics role. [00:52:05] Speaker E: I'm not good at that. That's a ten minus one nine. [00:52:15] Speaker D: I now need you to give me a dexterity saving throw. [00:52:17] Speaker E: I'm a little better at that. Non natural. [00:52:21] Speaker D: 22 of these guys pick you up and throw you overboard to the sharks. You grab a rope, you slam into the side of the boat. There are sharks snapping at your feet, but you do not fall into the water. Two of them are going to attempt this same maneuver on Boulain who is not standing next to Max and Zerus. No, Boulain. I need athletics, please. [00:52:41] Speaker C: I'm not good at that either. Nate, that's a one. Okay, over she goes. [00:52:52] Speaker D: Need a disadvantaged dexterity saving throw. [00:52:56] Speaker C: Fuck. Rolled a three and a four. She's down with the sharks. [00:53:05] Speaker D: You hit the ocean. Okay, we'll get back to that. [00:53:09] Speaker C: I don't know what I'm going to do. [00:53:12] Speaker D: We'll find out. It might be get eaten. [00:53:15] Speaker B: Maybe I die. [00:53:16] Speaker C: Maybe I die. [00:53:27] Speaker A: Well that's a good spot to end it today. Don't forget to leave us a rating and review. Special thanks to Todd Ferguson of my pet machine for our music and Julie at elaborate flight of fancy for our logo. Our heroes seem to have the fight in the bag if they can keep. [00:53:41] Speaker D: Boulain and Creighton from getting eaten. [00:53:43] Speaker A: Find out next time on carrots and suffering A-D-D odyssey. See.

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