Campaign 2 (Astragar) Episode 53: Lawyers Against God

Episode 53 May 12, 2024 01:03:52
Campaign 2 (Astragar) Episode 53: Lawyers Against God
Carrots and Suffering: A D&D Odyssey
Campaign 2 (Astragar) Episode 53: Lawyers Against God

May 12 2024 | 01:03:52


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Show Notes

Our heroes hatch a plot to get what they want at the expense of the gods.

Music by Todd Ferguson, My Pet Machine on Facebook

Logo by Julie at Elaborate Flight of Fancy

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Episode Transcript

[00:00:30] Speaker A: Welcome to carrots and suffering, a D and D odyssey. Please leave us a rating and review. I'm not sure if there will be a campaign three or a season five. The podcast industry is a bit of a nosedive right now, and editing is a lot of work that often has me choosing between dungeon mastering and editing. We will finish out this campaign. In fact, it's already finished, so it'll definitely happen. But I'm gonna get the last of these episodes out, and then the crew's gonna play some classic tabletop all by our lonesome, off the podcast medium, around a real table. And that's gonna give us a bit of a break to fall back in love with this thing. And we'll let you know what we decide down the road. All right, last time on carrots and suffering. After learning a grave, faith crushing secret of the universe, our heroes recommit to protecting the world from Vecna. [00:01:19] Speaker B: Well, the trebay errand was to try to find out the location of Vecna's book so that we can find it and destroy it. I feel like that is a separate matter from the gods at large. [00:01:32] Speaker C: I don't think so. I think it's a place to start. [00:01:34] Speaker B: Okay, so we agreed we should still pursue that goal since we are here. [00:01:39] Speaker C: Let's find it, let's get rid of Vecna, and then let's just work up the list. We got a book of names. Let's cross them off. [00:01:46] Speaker D: I mean, we do know that Vecna's pretty bad news, no matter what we do. I agree that this is probably a good idea. [00:01:53] Speaker A: Our heroes meet a guide in the fey realm, and they learn the two laws of the perpetual city of twilight, which, of course, I promise come up again. First thing I think you should know is that my name is thistledown and I am a performer. The second thing I think you should know is the rules of this city sure seems useful. While you are here, the rule of reciprocity applies. That means that if someone gives you something, you must give them something in kind. [00:02:22] Speaker D: So are you planning on charging us for this information? [00:02:25] Speaker A: Not yet. No, no, no. I need something else from you. But first, the second law. Hospitality. If you are invited in to a place, you are expected to be hospitable, and the host is expected to be hospitable to you. It is a mutually assured safety pact. Should you violate this, the universe will met out justice. On the way to the church, the heroes get their first glimpse of culture shock. When they find out that money is. [00:02:53] Speaker C: Useless, they get them to their approximate shape, and then they smash them flat with the image. [00:02:58] Speaker A: What a strange thing to do with rocks. And what a tedious job. Let's get into it. Hi, I'm Nate, and I will be your dungeon master. [00:03:14] Speaker B: I'm Mandy. I play boulaine, the grave domain death cleric in the fey wild. [00:03:20] Speaker D: Hi, I'm Claire, and I play Creedon, the sorcerer, who's really not excited to actually visit the feywild. [00:03:28] Speaker C: Hi, I'm Robert, and I play Zerus, the paladin who wants to kill the gods. [00:03:35] Speaker B: Yeah, I mean, it was only a matter of time before that wrath turned upward. [00:03:43] Speaker A: When you step in to this church, it looks very much like a church in your realm. It's clearly designed to look exactly the same. A toweringly large structure. It has stained glass, which is completely frozen over, giving everything in the twilight this sort of bluish tint. And as you step in, there's a massive fountain that just dips down, and it is a pile of gold, just a mountainous pile of gold, filling this fountain to the brim. And there is a little sign that says offering requested. [00:04:19] Speaker C: I put the gold in my pocket. [00:04:22] Speaker B: I'll flip a coin onto the pile. [00:04:24] Speaker C: I have nothing to offer the gods. [00:04:26] Speaker D: I think Creden will flip one on two. [00:04:29] Speaker B: But the cords. But the hungry cords, clearly they do. [00:04:34] Speaker C: Not eat from this well, and I don't blame them. I wouldn't either. [00:04:37] Speaker A: As you walk into this large chapel, there is one entity. It looks like a winter eladrin, just sitting up alone, not on a. You wouldn't call it a throne, but it's close. A slightly more humble chair where there would normally be a church official leading a sermon of some kind. And otherwise, the place is pretty empty. You see two or three other humans kind of in the corner. [00:05:02] Speaker C: I'll walk up to the elf who seems to be in charge. [00:05:06] Speaker A: Welcome. You are pilgrims, yes? [00:05:09] Speaker C: No, we're travelers looking for some information. [00:05:13] Speaker A: Information? Yes. Well, I am the local avatar of eternal knowledge and eternal cycle, and I am here to answer your questions. [00:05:25] Speaker B: What can we call you, sir? [00:05:27] Speaker A: What do they call the head of your church? A translator. [00:05:30] Speaker D: Hmm. [00:05:31] Speaker A: Yes, I am your local translator and your avatar. [00:05:35] Speaker C: You said of eternal cycle and eternal knowledge? [00:05:39] Speaker A: More like a vessel, but I find that the word avatar carries some anyway. They have the ability to speak through me, should they choose to. [00:05:47] Speaker C: How quickly the rules change. I see. [00:05:51] Speaker D: I'm amazed that you aren't otherwise occupied and that we could just come in and immediately speak with you and honor. [00:05:59] Speaker A: How best to describe the nature of faith on this side of the gate? I am mostly here for mortals who cross over to ask questions. The fairies don't practice faith in the same way. [00:06:16] Speaker B: What is the manner of exchange for the knowledge that we are seeking? [00:06:22] Speaker A: You will have to request that. Which God do you wish to speak with? [00:06:26] Speaker B: Eternal knowledge, I believe. [00:06:28] Speaker A: Very well. Eternal knowledge, God of pacts and agreements. And they close their eyes, and when they open them, there is a different kind of light coming out of them. It's almost like a negative light. And his voice shifts and he says, greetings, pilgrims. It is an honor that you should visit our humble side of the pantheon. How may I be of assistance? [00:06:59] Speaker D: Can cretin do an insight check to see if she thinks that this is legit or if this is some kind of show thing? I feel like it would be bigger news that there was somebody that can communicate with two gods, even if they're the less favorable ones in the fae realm. [00:07:14] Speaker B: Given that these gods are repressed in Ashtragar, I'm actually not surprised that we wouldn't. [00:07:20] Speaker D: I don't know. It's just raised in a flag. I want to do an insight too. [00:07:24] Speaker B: I'll do one too. [00:07:25] Speaker A: Okay. [00:07:26] Speaker D: That is okay. It's my bonus. Oh. Not bad, 1928. [00:07:33] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:07:33] Speaker A: You both think that this person is possessed by someone. That this is not an act. They are being possessed. And you both know the old rule that fairies can't lie. They can, however, mislead. [00:07:46] Speaker D: Are you eternal knowledge? [00:07:48] Speaker A: I am a portion of eternal knowledge, but eternal knowledge is too great, I am afraid, to be encompassed by such a meager vessel. [00:07:57] Speaker C: Are you the portion we need? [00:08:00] Speaker A: I am prepared to negotiate and create the agreements that I am known for. [00:08:08] Speaker C: We have need of knowledge of a very specific and unique book. [00:08:14] Speaker A: Hmm. I assume this book you speak of is the Tome of vecna. [00:08:23] Speaker D: Are we in private with this person, or are we, like, you, are in. [00:08:27] Speaker A: A church and there are three other humans kind of just across this big, echoey space. [00:08:33] Speaker D: Okay, maybe we should go somewhere more private. [00:08:38] Speaker C: Are you suggesting that. [00:08:39] Speaker D: I mean. Yes. [00:08:41] Speaker C: Okay. [00:08:41] Speaker D: Yes. Creighton suggests this. [00:08:43] Speaker C: We don't seek that knowledge. We just want to make this transaction more comfortable for my friends. [00:08:48] Speaker A: Ah. He sort of stands up and gestures and leads you around a corner where there is a smaller space. And he says, in here. Follow him through, and the door closes. Now, this book of vecna that you seek, it is a form of contract, and therefore it is governed by my domain. And I hold many records as to all of its past users, current users, and current location. [00:09:19] Speaker C: Great. All right. [00:09:20] Speaker D: So what do you need from us? [00:09:23] Speaker C: What is the exchange? To know its location. And what's the exchange? To know? Everything. [00:09:29] Speaker A: I will grant you the location of this item if you are willing to do me a service. Lord Alarion stole from my court. A contract that binds a great beast to his service. The contract must be retrieved or destroyed. [00:09:50] Speaker C: How did he steal a contract? And still the contract works. [00:09:55] Speaker A: The contract's wording is such that the contract could be traded. The bearer of said contract is entitled to. Only a few agreements are forged in this way. Most I have dedicated to an individual. But at times, particularly when something is of lower intelligence, it's wise to assign it to the contract rather than to the person for easy exchange. [00:10:27] Speaker C: What is the process of altering a contract of this nature? [00:10:31] Speaker A: Well, it would require magic far more powerful than I suspect you have. [00:10:37] Speaker C: Not me. You. One simple word added to that contract makes it stronger and not function for the person who has obtained it without your permission. The rightful bearer of this contract. [00:10:53] Speaker A: If you would add my name in place of the bearer, I think that could work. And adding the word rightful. Hmm. Would that were. Yes, I believe it would. If you add the word rightful to that contract when you find it, this would be an acceptable completion of our terms. [00:11:13] Speaker C: All right. [00:11:15] Speaker B: So you do not require us to actually remove the contract from Illyrians possession. Just change the wording in it. [00:11:22] Speaker A: I believe you will find him hostile to this. [00:11:27] Speaker B: I fully anticipate that. I am clarifying whether we need to return to you with this contract in hand or just change the wording. [00:11:35] Speaker D: Or we can destroy it. [00:11:37] Speaker A: Returning the contract to my possession or simply removing it from his possession or denying its power to him. These are all the same solution for me. [00:11:51] Speaker D: So if we removed the contract from him, could we keep it? [00:11:57] Speaker A: I think you will find immortal in possession of such a fae contract would be cumbersome. [00:12:05] Speaker D: It wouldn't be my first rodeo. [00:12:10] Speaker B: What manner of creature is bound to him with this contract? [00:12:13] Speaker A: The phoenix of eternal cycle. [00:12:16] Speaker D: Ah, now that sounds cool. [00:12:18] Speaker B: What do I know about that? [00:12:19] Speaker C: The phoenix of. You mean the God we know is eternal cycle? [00:12:25] Speaker A: The phoenix of eternal cycle is not a God, but a pet of the God. [00:12:31] Speaker C: Oh, I see. [00:12:33] Speaker D: Can I. [00:12:33] Speaker B: Can I roll religion to see what I know about this? [00:12:35] Speaker A: Sure. Yeah. The TC is really high. Nature would also be acceptable. [00:12:41] Speaker B: 23. [00:12:41] Speaker A: Yeah. So you have heard of the phoenix? It is a legendary creature that cannot be killed. In your world's lore, it is very commonly associated with the sun God. It is blessed with the energy of the radiant one. And so it is a bird of fire that burns out when it is killed or dies of old age and is immediately reborn whenever the sun next rises. It is so tied to the sun that you cannot imagine it's doing great in a realm of twilight, right? But it is truly ferocious, terrifying. Creature of legend. [00:13:19] Speaker C: After this exchange, my inclination is to offer the destruction of that contract for the information that we seek. [00:13:28] Speaker A: The destruction of the contract for the information you seek. [00:13:31] Speaker C: Specifically, the location of the book, where it currently is. In our room. [00:13:37] Speaker A: Done. If soon as that contract is destroyed, the knowledge will be bequeathed to you. [00:13:43] Speaker D: So we're destroying it then? Not hanging on to it or just. [00:13:47] Speaker B: Changing it or just getting it back to him. I mean, we had options. [00:13:51] Speaker C: Zerus and I weighed them. [00:13:54] Speaker D: Can we modify this agreement to also include those other options as well? We can figure it out later. [00:13:58] Speaker A: I will continue to consider this completed should the power be removed from Lord Elarion. [00:14:07] Speaker D: Great. [00:14:08] Speaker B: May I ask why he stole it? Do you know? [00:14:11] Speaker A: Lord Elarion, for many millennia, was an excellent member of the court of eternal cycle, the God of time, in order to strike out and create his own court, declaring himself king, and thus causing all in his city to seek agreements with him, as opposed to his previous king, he had sought some leverage. His theft of the contract represents a significant portion of that leverage. [00:14:42] Speaker C: I'm gonna. I'm gonna try to, like, pull the team aside for a second. [00:14:46] Speaker D: Yep, pretty huddle. [00:14:47] Speaker C: Look, wording is important. [00:14:50] Speaker B: It is of the utmost importance. [00:14:53] Speaker C: And I am okay with one of these two agreements, the one I made. I'm not okay with the second. There's a reason I said what I said. [00:15:02] Speaker D: I'm willing to trust you on this. [00:15:04] Speaker B: All right? [00:15:04] Speaker D: Honestly, I shouldn't be getting excited about contracts here anyway. [00:15:09] Speaker C: So again, we will destroy it for the knowledge of where the Tome is. And that deal's already struck, right? [00:15:17] Speaker A: Seems to be. [00:15:18] Speaker B: Okay. All right. Follow your lead. Zurus, you are a lawyer, after all. I feel like this place was made for you. [00:15:24] Speaker C: I'll explain more in a minute. [00:15:27] Speaker D: Meanwhile, Creedon is going to grow up with a gambling problem. [00:15:32] Speaker C: I don't have any further business here. [00:15:34] Speaker A: As you turn to address this person again, you realize his eyes have changed. They appear to be hourglasses just pouring sand down the middle. [00:15:43] Speaker C: Oh, he's loading. [00:15:44] Speaker A: He's just staring at you. [00:15:45] Speaker B: Eternal cycle. [00:15:47] Speaker A: Welcome. I had heard there were emissaries from the mortal side of the realm recently here. How delightful. I have a issue, and I would like it solved. Perhaps I can assist you in your problem. [00:16:06] Speaker C: What is it that you need? [00:16:08] Speaker B: We will certainly hear you out. [00:16:10] Speaker A: Lord Elarion has rebelled and for the last few centuries has been doing a significantly good job at building his own power base. I find this, however, unacceptable, because the cycle has been stopped. I request the service that you find out how he has stopped the cycle, how he has frozen his city in twilight and fix it. And in return, I was hoping you might name a appropriate price. [00:16:40] Speaker B: Pulain looks at zeros. [00:16:42] Speaker C: Is there a way we can contact you after we've considered it? [00:16:45] Speaker A: My intermediary will be here. As always, he's not welcome in the city any longer, and so he cannot leave the front door. [00:16:53] Speaker C: If we think of something appropriate, we will come and find you. [00:16:58] Speaker A: And then the creature's eyes close and open back up, and they are back to the sort of twilight star elf. And he says, well, I hope you got what you were looking for. [00:17:07] Speaker C: Yes, thank you. We'll stay in the room for a minute, if you don't mind. [00:17:11] Speaker A: It's all yours. I will return to my duties. He walks out the door, and the doors close behind him. [00:17:18] Speaker C: I'm out of the business of doing the bidding of gods. Fuck them. Fuck what they want. They have something we need. [00:17:23] Speaker B: I think at this point we are not doing their bidding. Zeroes. We are bargaining with them. This is an exchange. [00:17:31] Speaker C: Yeah, and instead of that, what I can do is take the contract that makes the bearer of the contract, the controller of the creature, write a new contract that exchanges that control and then destroy the old one. [00:17:43] Speaker D: Oh, and we could get the new contract as our boon from eternal cycle. [00:17:47] Speaker C: No, we leave it where it is because we don't want to fuck with what the gods want. I don't. I'm not doing what these people want. I'm leaving the status quo. Fuck em. If they want something and they're all powerful, they can do it the moment's their own selves. [00:17:59] Speaker D: Zerus, I. [00:18:00] Speaker C: The reason I worded the destruction of the contract rather than the removal of the power of the contract is because I want the power of the contract to stay in place. [00:18:08] Speaker D: Zerus, it's not that I think that you're wrong, and you have always been a little bit our de facto leader here, but I suppose I feel like we've always been bending to what you want to do, and it's a little bit hard to buy into it when recently your entire worldview did a complete flip. First, it's always do what the gods want to do. Now, it's never do it all what the gods want to do. Can we just discuss this a little bit more? Maybe compromise a little bit? I know that that's not necessarily always how you operate, but come on. [00:18:40] Speaker C: Go ahead. We can discuss this more. I'm telling you why I made the choices I did just there. But, yeah, we should discuss this so that we can be on the same page going forward. [00:18:49] Speaker B: You understand that if you do not destroy this contract, he is not going to tell us the location of Vecna's book again. [00:18:58] Speaker C: The plan is to destroy the contract after transferring its power to a new contract. [00:19:03] Speaker D: How are we going to do that? [00:19:04] Speaker C: We are told that the contract gives the bearer of the contract control of the creature, control of the Phoenix. With control of an item, you should be able to give a contract that exchanges control of it. So we write a new contract while in control of the old contract, nullifying it, but still giving the control of the Phoenix to the bearer of the contract. [00:19:27] Speaker B: You want to be in control of the Phoenix? [00:19:30] Speaker C: No. I want the person who currently has control of the Phoenix to retain control of the Phoenix. I don't care about the Phoenix. But the gods do. The eternal cycle and the eternal knowledge care about this Phoenix far too much for me to want to give it to them. [00:19:45] Speaker D: Well, that's why I say, why don't we take it? I'd give that Phoenix a great hope. [00:19:50] Speaker B: He could get along with Harold. [00:19:51] Speaker D: Could be friends. Friends with Brandier. [00:19:56] Speaker C: I am much more on board with us collecting another. Another being for our menagerie. I like my menagerie than just destroying the contract. [00:20:07] Speaker B: All right, Nate, what can I roll to try to gauge whether this plan makes any sense? Like whether we can actually do it. [00:20:15] Speaker D: The way that he. [00:20:16] Speaker A: Knowledge history would be appropriate. [00:20:19] Speaker C: I mean, I'll do that, too, since it's my plan. [00:20:21] Speaker B: I can do knowledge nature. [00:20:22] Speaker A: You could get away with knowledge nature, which covers the knowledge of fairy creatures. [00:20:26] Speaker D: I'm all right at history. [00:20:27] Speaker C: I got a 19. [00:20:28] Speaker B: On my history, I got a twelve. [00:20:31] Speaker A: There's no reason to believe that this shouldn't work. Like, while you're holding the contract, you have control of the creature. You can forge it into a new contract with a twelve. Boulain sounds legally feasible. And maybe that's how fairies work. [00:20:45] Speaker B: I mean, she's pretty clear that's how fairies work. She's just wondering about the magical properties going on here. [00:20:50] Speaker C: Background and lawyer never knew it would come into play. [00:20:54] Speaker B: Well, Zerus, I am certainly willing to give this a try. I am also leery of angering gods. Whether we want to help them or not. [00:21:04] Speaker C: All right, look. [00:21:05] Speaker B: They are more powerful than we are. [00:21:07] Speaker C: Are they? [00:21:08] Speaker B: Are they in a weird, reciprocal way? Yes, they are. [00:21:12] Speaker C: We just got asked to help not one, but two, from their own essence. Are they more powerful than we are? [00:21:21] Speaker D: Possession of perhaps the most powerful item that we could possibly have. [00:21:26] Speaker C: I mean, does that make sense? Would you ask an ant to help you? [00:21:30] Speaker B: I think perhaps the ant has the ability to get into a place that they do not because it is small. [00:21:36] Speaker C: Their avatar could just go with them, possessing it. [00:21:41] Speaker B: He cannot. He cannot leave the church. [00:21:44] Speaker C: Why would he be banned from the city? Don't they rule? Don't they have some sort of power here? How are they not exerting any of that to fix eternal twilight? Which is admittedly a big problem, but fuck em. [00:22:01] Speaker D: I just don't know if it's wise to burn all of our bridges at once. [00:22:05] Speaker C: That's my stance. Now we can discuss. I'm trying to have a conference, but it doesn't make any sense. [00:22:10] Speaker D: I mean, I do am liking your plan. [00:22:12] Speaker C: In these exchanges we just had, I don't see it, but we just heard amounts to, my beloved pet has been. Has been taken by a mean man, and you have to break into his house and take it back for me. Not only is that ridiculous if you think they have power, but it's also childish. They lost a puppy. [00:22:32] Speaker D: Nate, I have a question on. Whenever we were being escorted around the city, kind of just a vibe check on the city. Does it seem like the eternal twilight thing is causing problems here, or is it, like. I mean, I'm guessing that it's a problem, but, like, I don't know. There's all of these dream elves hanging out, so, like, trying to gauge if this is, like, a problem that the city is dealing with or not. [00:22:56] Speaker C: I'd like to make a vibe check. [00:22:58] Speaker D: I need a vibe check on this city. And how. How. How much do people like the twilight? [00:23:04] Speaker A: Yeah, roomy insight. [00:23:06] Speaker C: I just love vibe check. That's. We need. [00:23:09] Speaker B: We need a vibe skill, vibrability. [00:23:14] Speaker D: That's 19 on my vibe check. [00:23:16] Speaker A: You think at this juncture, it's a Tuesday. Like, at this point, this is just an assumed fact of life for the people roaming the city. [00:23:29] Speaker D: Do we know how long it's been like this? [00:23:30] Speaker B: A few hundred years, it sounds like. [00:23:32] Speaker D: Okay, well, at this point, it's the ecosystem, although it's not necessarily a bad thing to shake things up. I don't know. I don't know if we should bring the cycle back to here or not, but we can at least look into how it happened and maybe make our decision based off of some further information. [00:23:48] Speaker B: It does sound like Elarion managed to hobble them and their abilities to hinder him. By stealing this contract. And by having us do this, they will be able to make their move on him. [00:23:59] Speaker C: And I think I'm more for Larian than them. [00:24:02] Speaker B: Well, I think we should go talk to Elrian. [00:24:05] Speaker D: Yeah, we'll see. We have. We have a rough plan. We'll figure out the rest as we go. [00:24:12] Speaker C: If we decide we're going to go forward with my plan on how to resolve the Phoenix contract, my intention was just to tell Olarian the plan because I don't need to be secretive when I'm working with him. [00:24:27] Speaker B: True. Can we talk to him and get a gauge on him before we do that? Because we have no idea who he is. [00:24:34] Speaker C: That's exactly what I was saying. Is that okay? You both say that we can move forward with that plan. That's the next phase of it. [00:24:43] Speaker B: All right. [00:24:43] Speaker D: I don't think that he would be thrilled about you. Well, no, I guess if you're making. [00:24:47] Speaker B: Yeah, we're essentially doing him a solid if we do it this way, because we're not. [00:24:52] Speaker D: It's all making sense to me. Me now. I just forgot that the second contract wouldn't be one that we could take with us. We would have to leave it with it. I just wanted a cool bird. [00:25:05] Speaker C: I am still open to going with the cool bird team. Cool bird plan. It's not my first choice, but it's not my last choice, either. But it will require more subterfuge. [00:25:19] Speaker B: I am going to go out on a limb and guess that you have no earthly idea how to take care of a phoenix. [00:25:26] Speaker D: No, but how hard could it be? If I screw it up, it'll just come back. [00:25:31] Speaker B: Or the damage that it could do to others, how to contain it, how to. [00:25:42] Speaker D: You know, I really hadn't thought of that far through. [00:25:48] Speaker B: Let me assure you that the creature I am least worried about is the actual Phoenix. [00:25:58] Speaker D: It's the perfect pet because he can't mess it up, but he can mess you up. [00:26:06] Speaker A: So you step out of the church and into the city. There is a gigantic clock like, truly enormous clock tower nearby. And then there's a small keep basically on the other side of that, which seems like the kind of place the lord of the city might live to the keep. [00:26:26] Speaker C: I am perfectly content to just follow that intuition. [00:26:30] Speaker D: But before we arrive there, I want to possibly posit to the team here that if we want? In my current moon phase, which is full moon, I do have access to one other fifth level spell, which is Rari's telepathic bond. For an hour. I can form a telepathic bond where we could all communicate telepathically if we want to be trying to discuss things. Perhaps not, you know, surreptitiously. [00:26:56] Speaker B: I think that could come in quite handy. What do you think, Zeris? [00:27:01] Speaker C: I think that sounds great. [00:27:02] Speaker D: All right. [00:27:03] Speaker C: Especially when we need to be very careful about what we say. [00:27:06] Speaker D: All right. I can do up to eight willing creatures, so the three of us. Of course. I think Harold can already communicate telepathically. But why not? I'm throwing him in the mix. [00:27:14] Speaker B: You could throw Brandir in there, too, if you want. [00:27:16] Speaker D: You can throw in Brandir? Do we have any other friends? Wait, do we still have what's our face come with this? [00:27:24] Speaker C: Oh, yeah, I haven't. I haven't mentioned it, but I should talk to you about my frog. No, I'm kidding. [00:27:32] Speaker D: You got me and Kareen's like. [00:27:37] Speaker B: You found a frog, too. [00:27:41] Speaker D: Yeah. [00:27:42] Speaker B: Did the mask acolyte. [00:27:44] Speaker A: The mask priest. I don't remember. If she came with you, she said she was going to stay behind. [00:27:49] Speaker B: Aliana. [00:27:50] Speaker D: Yeah, I think that she did stay behind. I just. [00:27:52] Speaker B: Okay. [00:27:53] Speaker D: I didn't write it down. Okay. Okay. So, us and our animals. And that's it. [00:27:58] Speaker C: I'm also going to keep a lookout for thistledown as we make our way on to the keep. [00:28:04] Speaker D: Okay. We now all have a mind as. [00:28:06] Speaker A: You pass below the clock tower. Zerus, give me a d 20 roll. [00:28:13] Speaker C: That is a 16. [00:28:16] Speaker A: There is this odd noise. And you look up, and coming out of this clock tower is a bird. You would describe this bird. I would describe this bird as a half flaming, eagle like creature. About the size of the church building you just left. [00:28:39] Speaker D: Oh, my God. Okay. I don't want it. [00:28:41] Speaker B: That would be the Phoenix. [00:28:43] Speaker A: It has this sort of nighttime daytime vibe rolling across it. And so, unlike a real phoenix, or a normal phoenix, which is probably on fire all the time, this one's on fire, like, half on fire, and is giving off almost moonlight as it does a loop and lands back into the tower. [00:29:04] Speaker B: Well, do you think he has the Phoenix guarding the tower so that nobody can get the clock moving? [00:29:10] Speaker C: I don't know what that was, but it's probably related to the eternal twilight. We should ask how long that Phoenix has been doing a flight, living there. If it's the same number. [00:29:23] Speaker B: All right. [00:29:24] Speaker D: Is there anyone around? [00:29:25] Speaker C: Yeah, I was gonna say, I just I grab a passerbyer, one that looks more local than not. [00:29:30] Speaker A: You find a winter eladrin wandering the city in a dreamlike state. [00:29:35] Speaker C: Hello. Can you talk to me for a second? Yes, of course. How long has that Phoenix been flying around the tower? [00:29:43] Speaker A: Time, while deeply important, has become a bit of an illusion. I believe the answer is zero. [00:29:53] Speaker C: And what is another answer? [00:29:56] Speaker A: Another answer? Your kind would have died many times over again. [00:30:01] Speaker C: How many times? [00:30:03] Speaker A: Four. Well, I've never had a human as a pet, but I believe in human years. Five or six lifetimes. [00:30:16] Speaker C: In exchange. I'd like to say your eyes are stunning. [00:30:21] Speaker A: I am honored that you would so eloquently encapsulate the law of reciprocity. [00:30:28] Speaker C: Yes, keep. Keep that knowledge. Thank you. [00:30:31] Speaker A: And the creature wanders away. [00:30:34] Speaker C: Yeah. Five lifetimes. So roughly 200 years. 250. We'll learn more as we get through it. But it sounds about right to me. [00:30:44] Speaker A: Sirius only intends to live to 50. Obviously. [00:30:48] Speaker C: Well, you look like average lifetime. I think 50 is a reasonable number in these times. [00:30:53] Speaker D: In this economy, yeah. [00:30:57] Speaker C: That means I get to live for nine more years. I'm fine with it. [00:31:00] Speaker B: Isn't the official five e human lifespan 100 years? [00:31:04] Speaker A: Yeah, of course. You know, they assume with magic things are better than the industrial revolution. [00:31:10] Speaker B: That's fair. [00:31:11] Speaker D: That's fair. Oh, yeah. Zeris. I still have a potion of longevity. Do you still not want it from that time that you lost some of your life? It's in my bag and has been. [00:31:23] Speaker B: He got that restored. [00:31:24] Speaker A: You used a scroll of greater restoration to return the life to him. [00:31:28] Speaker D: Okay. Oh, never mind. I'm saving this for when I get older, then. [00:31:31] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah. Or you could turn yourself back into a tween. [00:31:35] Speaker D: No, I think I'm gonna wait until I'm just passing. [00:31:39] Speaker B: If you do that, we are leaving you here. [00:31:46] Speaker D: I don't want to go through that again. [00:31:49] Speaker B: Can you imagine? You'd be here, like, going through eternal. [00:31:52] Speaker C: Puberty to the front door. [00:31:53] Speaker A: So you arrive at the keep. There are several gloomy looking figures, one of which steps close to you and you just feel like the weight and weariness of the day just sort of weigh you down in its presence. And it says. Hello. Do you have an appointment? [00:32:14] Speaker C: No appointment. We wish to speak with Lord Elarin. [00:32:20] Speaker B: Lord. Lord. [00:32:20] Speaker C: Lord Elarian. Yes. [00:32:22] Speaker A: Excellent. I will make an appointment. How about twilight? [00:32:28] Speaker B: That sounds perfect. Be perfect. [00:32:31] Speaker A: Excellent. Please follow me. The time of your appointment has arrived. [00:32:36] Speaker B: Thought he was gonna be a sick and be like, how about sunrise? We're like, how about now? [00:32:41] Speaker A: He turns and walks into this keep. It is lavishly appointed, like a king. It is covered in all sorts of goods from, you assume, all over the fairy wild and the mortal realm. He guides you through this somewhat warm, almost brightly colored place, but everywhere you look are these massive tapestries that are just a splatter of color that is sort of a twilight hue as you arrive in a small throne room. It is just so surrounded by these dark, gloomy figures everywhere, including three that seem to sort of flank this one. Winter Eladrine. Lord Elarion. He is a glamorous man. He has just the perfectest cheekbones you could ever imagine. Hair of snow colored white. He is wearing what looks like maybe polar bear furs put together into this very fancy courtier outfit. A silver rapier dangles at his side, and he leans forward in his chair and says, welcome. I believe you had an appointment. [00:33:52] Speaker D: God, I forgot to visit the tailor on the way. It's gonna outfit myself. [00:33:55] Speaker B: It's okay. They were gonna charge you your wrist. [00:33:57] Speaker D: It's worth it for a good fit. [00:33:59] Speaker B: Lord Elarion? [00:34:00] Speaker A: Yes. I have decided on the title of prince. [00:34:04] Speaker D: Oh. I like it. It's classy. [00:34:06] Speaker A: I am on my way to king soon. [00:34:09] Speaker D: Oh, yeah. [00:34:10] Speaker C: How do you ascend in a place with no time? [00:34:13] Speaker A: It's not a question of time. It is a question of power. [00:34:16] Speaker C: How do you accumulate power in a place with no time? [00:34:20] Speaker A: Agreements can be eternal, particularly in a place with no time. [00:34:26] Speaker C: Your prince of agreements. [00:34:28] Speaker A: I am the prince of Twilight. I find it is the most beautiful time of day. [00:34:35] Speaker C: You're not looking at. You don't have aspirations above king, do you? [00:34:39] Speaker A: Aspirations above king? What is above king? [00:34:42] Speaker C: What a perfect answer. [00:34:44] Speaker A: How may I help? I believe is the term your kind uses. How may I help you? [00:34:52] Speaker C: I look towards the other two. [00:34:53] Speaker D: Okay, brain talk time. Okay, so we want to kind of suss out if this guy's on the level at all or not. [00:35:01] Speaker C: So here's where I'm at. He's clearly a douche, but. Yeah, but he does not know of, or has not yet conceived of wanting to become a God, so I'm cool with him. [00:35:14] Speaker D: Hey, my question is just, is he better? For the people here, this has sustained. [00:35:18] Speaker C: For hundreds of years. [00:35:19] Speaker B: Do not think that is our call. [00:35:21] Speaker D: That's a good point. I don't have to say I think. [00:35:23] Speaker B: There are enough troubles in Astragar before we can really start to worry about people, not even in our realm, and their own politics and culture. [00:35:32] Speaker C: I will say eternal cycle and eternal knowledge are on a very long list. And if I ever get down to where their name is? Top of the list. I will be here again to fix these problems. But right now, Vecna is on the top of that list. [00:35:51] Speaker B: I am all right with you proceeding the way you proposed. Xurus. Yeah. [00:35:55] Speaker D: Let's do it. I guess we're burning the bridges. [00:35:58] Speaker C: Yes, my prince. The question isn't how you can help us, but how we can help you. It has come to our attention that you have acquired many things in your greatness. And there are those that wish to take it away from you when it's appropriate. We would like to discuss some of your contracts. Understand them and help you navigate them. So that you cannot lose their benefits should those that try to take them from you. Try again. [00:36:31] Speaker A: Hmm. An interesting proposition. One that I find intriguing. Imagine the ferry gate is a pair of doors on either side of a very short hall. One steps through the first door. Their stride is sufficient to reach through the second. And so they simply don't notice the length of the hallway. As our heroes revealed themselves to the avatar of eternal cycle, God of time, the distance between these two doors expands. Imagine now an infinite hallway stretching hundreds of years. As one walks through the gate, their leg still extends from one side to the other. But now time has passed. This is one of the many powers of the God of time. And it could be a real problem for our heroes. Welcome, apprentices. It's been a hundred years since we last spoke. I'm a bit shocked to see you alive. And no older. True. I should not throw stones. Yes, this world is quite different. The champions of the gods disappeared and took with them the magic that held the lesser gods at the brink of death. How, may I ask, did you miss 100 years? You didn't wait for the heroes to finish their task in the feywild. You took the gate. You emerged a hundred years in the future. Well, perhaps. Perhaps this world can still be prevented. It seems a history lesson is owed to you. Either way, let us hope it does not come to pass. In truth, as it is today. Vecna, one of the three great gods of death, mounted an assault. The legions of his undead army gathered and strode with purpose to the foot of the eastern mountain range, to the gates of the underground city of Meloria. Through some trickery the world may never know, the God tore asunder the veil between life and death in what is now called the Ghostlands. You see, the souls of the dead began to spill from the heavens along the foothills, through the tear in the sky. Possessing the bodies of the dead that had been brought there and often transforming them. Some remained ghosts, of course. Others revenants. But most became demons and devils. Appearing among them were a few dozen ancient and forgotten gods who escaped the realm of death through the veil. When they arrived, they rebirthed their avatars and began to stride like giants across Astragar to conquer the humans and force their worship. With the tear between the realm of life and death, all balance was destroyed. This moment has become known as the apocalypse of the wandering vestiges, many of whom have since reasserted themselves to godhood after finding worship again. Sister truth and the silent judge and the whispering shepherd were creatures of balance. They could not exist. With such a travesty. They tore themselves asunder and used the last of their fading power to seal the tear in the veil and restore the world. In those days, society was mostly administered by the clerics of life, death and law. And so it was a short step to the crumble of all of it. Children were born soulless. The dead rose unchecked, and society failed to rally to protect itself. There were heroes, of course. Those who hunted the devils and did battle with the vestiges. But the gods didn't need to win, you see. They only needed to inspire enough fear to gain worship again. Today, there are nearly a hundred gods, and every city is again its own kingdom, locked in religious warfare. Some call this the ghost age. And while many believe that is because of the multitudes of wandering dead that still plague the east, it's actually because everywhere you look, you were reminded of the ghost of the empire of Astragarian Contessa. But if when you left, our heroes were still treatying with the God of time, perhaps. Perhaps there is still some hope for this world. Perhaps the ghost age is just a phantom of what could be the briefest glimpse of failure. A story that will motivate us to cheer for a different type of hero. In the meantime, I guess it's back to work for us, apprentice. We have a world to save. He stands up, and his clothes immediately shift, and he becomes much more regal. He is now in opulent robes that appear to be sort of made of ice. And perched atop of his head is a crown with a single twilight phoenix feather that just burns at the very tip. And he steps forward and says, well, let us discuss this. He looks around and says, I'll keep my advisors around for this conversation. [00:42:15] Speaker C: That seems reasonable. I was going to ask if you had a chief deal maker or lawyer or such among you, but advisers will do. [00:42:24] Speaker A: I have one that is more inclined than the rest come forward, my love. This is Lady Ervella, the dreamweaver. And again, a kind of dour looking woman that just gives off this aura of oppressive sleepiness. Drowsiness. Steps up and she says, I am here to help negotiate. [00:42:51] Speaker C: Prince, would you mind if your advisor listened from a further distance? [00:42:57] Speaker A: He gives you a confused look and he says, of course, and gestures, and she takes a couple steps back, and the oppressive feeling sort of backs off. [00:43:07] Speaker C: That's better. Thank you. So let's talk help for help before we talk about more specifics of what's being helped. So we have heard direct from the source that you have a contract that gives you the ability to control a certain creature. And we've learned that there are those that would have it, that you don't have that contract anymore and think that you came about it through less than savory means. I propose to rectify those problems and make it so that you cannot lose the contract, or more specifically, cannot lose the abilities that the contract gives you without significant effort. We also have heard that you are the reason the city is held in eternal twilight. We have interest in that, mostly for my own curiosity, if I'm being honest. And lastly, we seek to undertake some monumental endeavors. Specifically, I'm talking about attempting to destroy and rid the world of a certain godly vestige. Now, I'm looking to deal in helping you with your problems if you help us with ours. [00:44:32] Speaker A: I'm afraid my power extends only to the city limits. And I can assure you that there is only one vestige of godly power here. And I do not believe your referring to them. [00:44:43] Speaker C: I'm sorry. I just want to make sure I understood you correctly. There's only one vestige of godly power. [00:44:49] Speaker A: Here in my city. [00:44:51] Speaker C: Yes, I see. You're speaking of the Avatar, all right. [00:44:56] Speaker A: Oh, no, no. They are not permitted to pass significant portions of their power into this realm. The twilight Phoenix is power. Holds them at bay temporarily. No, I was referring to the mistress of Hexes and curses. [00:45:17] Speaker D: God damn. [00:45:22] Speaker C: Excellent. Excellent. That is. [00:45:24] Speaker D: That was in her head. [00:45:25] Speaker B: To all of you, someone ocredent and interesting thought speak. [00:45:31] Speaker C: Sounds like knowledge we may seek. I think there's a deal to be struck here. So if you are a trusting individual to a helpful stranger, I would like to assist you with your contractual problems. Fulfill a contract of my own, and in doing so, earn enough credit to gain the favors we're looking for. [00:45:56] Speaker A: This all sounds very promising, but we'll have to get very specific very soon. Do you need protection from this mistress of hexes and curses. [00:46:05] Speaker D: Yes. [00:46:06] Speaker C: It sounds like we're gonna need it this time. That would not be part of this deal. [00:46:12] Speaker A: I am interested in exploring further. I have a contract that, let's say, is in contention, but only the one involving my dearest pet. You are offering to renegotiate the nature of that contract with the eternal knowledge. Or do you have some other clever plan? [00:46:39] Speaker C: Something like that? I have a more clever plan. [00:46:42] Speaker A: All right, let's hear the clever plan. [00:46:45] Speaker C: This is the knowledge you're paying for, to be clear. [00:46:49] Speaker A: I see. I see. [00:46:51] Speaker C: Because a plan is something you could enact as well. [00:46:55] Speaker A: Very well. You offer me this plan and I will offer you something in return. [00:47:01] Speaker C: I think what we need in return is a compromise. Give me a moment. I don't want to be unreasonable to people. And so my thought is to compromise on a day, a year, a day, a month, allowing the cycle to progress much more slowly. [00:47:30] Speaker B: Why? [00:47:30] Speaker C: Because I don't want to be unreasonable. Maybe there is a benefit to the cycle occurring. [00:47:36] Speaker B: That's true. [00:47:37] Speaker C: I just don't want it to be them doing it. [00:47:40] Speaker B: Well, I have no problem with that being the offer. [00:47:43] Speaker D: I like that as well. [00:47:44] Speaker C: And we have nothing else we need from Prince Alarion at the moment? [00:47:49] Speaker B: Not that I can think of. [00:47:51] Speaker D: We need to make sure that we are the ones that actually destroy the old contract. Though in this plan, to dot all of our eyes, I probably do need to communicate that there are some minutiae that we need to happen, too. [00:48:05] Speaker C: We will. We will. All right. So, Prince, here's the deal. We will give you a plan, and to the best of our abilities, assist you in executing the plan on how to remove the contention from the contract. In exchange, we need to. We, the three of us, need to physically destroy the contested contract after it's resolved. And then also our understanding is that you have the ability and are stopping the cycle in this town, and that it is eternal twilight because you wish it. In exchange for us helping you, we ask. We would want you to move the cycle one day per month. So it is twilight most of the time. [00:48:57] Speaker A: Roll me persuasion. [00:49:00] Speaker C: I would love to roll your persuasion. [00:49:01] Speaker D: Can we give the help? Action? Yeah. [00:49:03] Speaker B: Can we help? We have to say how we're helping. [00:49:06] Speaker C: You don't. You don't need to help. You can help. You go ahead and help. [00:49:10] Speaker B: I help. [00:49:17] Speaker D: I can't come up with anything. [00:49:18] Speaker C: I just wanted to do it without help. I scored a 23. [00:49:23] Speaker B: Brain talk. She says this should help ameliorate the bad feelings that are going to come your way over how we are handling this contract. Your way being the prince. [00:49:35] Speaker C: Yeah, yeah. I'll echo that as well. Like, the compromise that we're requesting is to help make this smoother because it's gonna. It's gonna cause some problems. [00:49:47] Speaker A: So with a 23, he says, I will give you as part of this negotiation as a thank you for you bringing this idea to me at all, a bit more information than you have now before we make the agreement. [00:50:02] Speaker C: Very well. [00:50:04] Speaker A: The bearer of the contract of this phoenix, if destroyed, is reborn for as long as they hold the contract. And so I am reticent to release it even for a second. [00:50:18] Speaker C: You can retain the contract. That will be fine. There should be no problems without fully understanding the contract, without having read it. That is tentative, but I fully believe that with your advisors, with yourself being such a great and intelligent man, this can be done without you losing that ability. [00:50:43] Speaker A: The second piece of information is that the reason that I am prince is because the influence of the local king, the king of eternal cycle named me a local lord of twilight, that when the twilight hour comes, I would be in charge any moment. That is not twilight. I am not in charge. [00:51:16] Speaker C: And you've held it in twilight for centuries? [00:51:20] Speaker A: Some would say centuries. [00:51:23] Speaker C: Who would be responsible for day and night? Who are responsible for the other hours? [00:51:28] Speaker A: There is another lord and another lady. One for night and one for day. They are missing. Should day return, then of course one of them would rule and maybe they would show back up. [00:51:46] Speaker C: I see. So my thought was if the three of you had an agreement that this was the way it would be because this is the way it's been been for hundreds of years. And that they would gracefully relinquish control back when their day was up. That a deal was to be struck here. But if they're unavailable, then they're unavailable. And that sounds like local politics I don't want to deal with. So I will instead defer to you. What other things do you think you have to offer? [00:52:14] Speaker A: If you assist me in clearing this contractual flaw that would give me free and clear control over the creature, I would bequeath to you one feather of the twilight Phoenix that if you are mortally destroyed, you shall be reborn. [00:52:37] Speaker B: Brain talk. This is no small offer. [00:52:40] Speaker C: Yeah, I feel like I hear Creedon. Creedon's joy, like, amping up in brain talking. [00:52:49] Speaker D: I mean, I'm just imagining how fashionable it would look at a hat. [00:52:52] Speaker C: So we're for that. [00:52:53] Speaker D: It looks so cool on his hat. Yeah. [00:52:57] Speaker B: If you put it in the pirate hat. [00:53:01] Speaker C: Yeah. I'll get that for you. I'll get you a twilight Phoenix feather. Green. [00:53:05] Speaker B: Aw. [00:53:08] Speaker D: Coming away with a little bit of this bird. [00:53:11] Speaker C: It's a good compromise. All right. Sounds like a deal. We're interested in our help for a feather. And I guess that's it. Just a feather? Yeah. [00:53:21] Speaker A: Your help for the feather? Yes. [00:53:25] Speaker C: The contract says that the bearer of the contract controls the creature. [00:53:29] Speaker A: Correct. [00:53:31] Speaker C: And I'm assuming the controller of the creature can then give the creature to another person by contract. [00:53:38] Speaker A: Yes, I suppose that is true. [00:53:41] Speaker C: And so if you keep your contract, write another contract that, again passes control of the creature and supersedes the existing contract. One, you could write the new contract to your stipulations. And while you couldn't create more power from the contract, you could at least retain the power you have in a more ironclad way. And then you could hand the dead contract to us, which we will destroy. Destroy in front of you. You retain your power through the entire time. The old contract is no longer in contest because we've destroyed it. That fulfills our bargain with other individuals. Without changing the status quo. [00:54:22] Speaker A: There will be a short period of time. Well, one contract is being written and signed. Where the other contract's power will wane, and I will be vulnerable. If you agree to defend me during this time, I can agree to this plan of yours. And the payment of a feather will be paid in full. [00:54:51] Speaker B: Brain talk. [00:54:51] Speaker C: How long is the time? [00:54:54] Speaker B: How long is the time? And what is coming after him? [00:54:56] Speaker D: How do we measure that time when it's always twilight? [00:54:59] Speaker C: Is my heart beating? [00:55:01] Speaker A: Yes, it is. [00:55:03] Speaker C: Outstanding. We have a chronometer, everybody. [00:55:06] Speaker D: I like to imagine Zerus heartbeat is, like, insanely low. Your resting heart rate is, like, 50. [00:55:12] Speaker B: He could just slow your heartbeat down. [00:55:15] Speaker D: You're just so calm, so well trained. [00:55:18] Speaker C: Yeah, I think Zerus has a much better heart than I do. Yes. So we would need to know how long we would be defending you. Sounds like minutes. [00:55:32] Speaker A: The time required for me to draft the new contract and sign it. There's limitations, physical limitations on my ability to write at the appropriate speed. My power over time would allow me to accomplish quite a bit faster than anyone else. And so I would need to do the writing myself to minimize the time, but. And he reaches up to his hat, and he pulls the feather out of it and shakes it. And it turns into multiple scrolls of paper. [00:56:08] Speaker D: So cool. [00:56:09] Speaker A: And he sets it down on the table and he says, I think I could get this done in a minute. [00:56:17] Speaker C: Maybe that sounds reasonable. [00:56:20] Speaker D: And what type of enemies would you expect to take advantage of this window? [00:56:24] Speaker A: The city is full of people who certainly would like to see the old king returned to power, for they have agreements that are dependent on the daylight, or perhaps the night sky, or perhaps the rule of eternal cycle. They would gain power should I perish ten rounds. [00:56:52] Speaker C: Oh, well, very well, then. I will, as time is not a useful metric here. We will defend you for a hundred beats of my heart. He nods the length of a hundred beats of my heart because maybe it stops. [00:57:09] Speaker A: Yes. Clever, clever. The length of a hundred beats of your heart, as it typically is. I shall agree to this. Very well, then. I must fetch the appropriate materials. Give me just a moment. [00:57:25] Speaker C: Y'all should prepare yourselves. [00:57:28] Speaker D: I'm looking forward to this. It's been too long. [00:57:31] Speaker B: Am I allowed to do ritual past the spells? [00:57:34] Speaker A: Well, that would take ten minutes, but. [00:57:36] Speaker B: It would take ten minutes. [00:57:37] Speaker C: Okay, yeah, we we can. We can do some prep time. I'm right, Prince. We can take ten minutes to prep to defend you more efficiently. [00:57:46] Speaker A: Spend some time. Yes. He snaps his fingers, and one of the gloomy creatures from behind the throne comes forward and hands him a huge thing of, like, vellum and, uh, you know, very nifty looking quill, and he sets it out and sort of looks at you and says, I'm ready when you are, Zerus. [00:58:04] Speaker D: Immediately. Before we begin this, I'm giving you haste. But it'll be, like, right before we start, so that it'll last the minute if I don't break concentration. Oh, and I'm actually going to use a twin spell, so I'm going to haste me and Zerus, both of us. So choose a willing creature that you see within range until the spell ends. The target's speed is doubled. It gains a two bonus to ac. It has advantage on dexterity saving throws, and it gains an additional action on each of its turns. That action can be used only to take the attack dash, disengage, hide, or use an object action. So actually, I might just end up running around and hiding to keep my concentration. Running and then firing spells. [00:58:41] Speaker B: Yeah, no, that sounds good. You should do it on yourself. [00:58:43] Speaker D: I am hasting me and Zerus, and we are going to wreck everybody. Let's do it. [00:58:50] Speaker A: As soon as his pen touches the paper, there is flashes of light as soldiers pour into the room as if they were waiting, just waiting for this moment. I'm gonna need initiative rolls. [00:59:04] Speaker C: Oh, Jesus. Okay, sure. Natural 20. [00:59:09] Speaker A: Oh, hi. [00:59:10] Speaker B: I also got a natural 20. I got a 21. [00:59:13] Speaker C: Well, we were ready for it. [00:59:15] Speaker B: We were ready it makes sense. [00:59:16] Speaker D: I got a 19. Wait. No, I got. I got a non natural 21. [00:59:24] Speaker C: Non natural 21. [00:59:26] Speaker B: All right, we should have taken an hour prep time, and I should have just cast glyph of warding on the whole building. [00:59:34] Speaker D: Yeah, I also. I have death ward that I can cast, and I should have cast that on him before we started, but instead, I'll do it in round one so he. He can't be knocked to zero at least once. Do you have death ward? [00:59:45] Speaker B: I don't have teleport. [00:59:46] Speaker D: No, not teleport. Death ward. You probably don't have it prepared. [00:59:50] Speaker B: It might be a grave domain spell, which is not available to me here because Nate's a big meanie. [00:59:57] Speaker D: What? A big meanie. Okay. It's okay. I will probably cast that first. [01:00:01] Speaker C: For what it's worth, I have teleport. Apparently got misty step as part of my. [01:00:06] Speaker D: No, I'm talking about death ward. [01:00:10] Speaker A: Sure. [01:00:11] Speaker D: It'll. It makes it so that he goes to one instead of zero once, just in case people actually knock him out. [01:00:18] Speaker B: I do have death ward, but it's a grave domain spell, so I don't get it now. [01:00:24] Speaker D: Wha. [01:00:25] Speaker B: When we need it most. Wah. [01:00:28] Speaker D: Well, good thing I've got it. And I should have done it first because it lasts for 8 hours. [01:00:32] Speaker B: If he dies, we're just gonna burn this contract. [01:00:35] Speaker D: Actually, that's a good point. I mean, I won't waste a fourth level spell set on this show. [01:00:39] Speaker B: What's the worst that happens here, then? [01:00:42] Speaker D: I get a pet phoenix. That's what happened. [01:00:44] Speaker C: It's win win win. [01:00:48] Speaker B: Why settle for one phoenix feather when we can have a thousand phoenix feathers still attached to the phoenix? [01:00:54] Speaker D: Well, we'll stop plucking them from the bird, because that's mean. [01:00:57] Speaker C: We're in the town of Kibble. So if one of us dies, we just go get some kibble and resurrect us. Whatever. There's no consequences in the feywild. [01:01:06] Speaker D: Just roll you into the bottom of the fountain and casting magic. [01:01:13] Speaker A: There's probably diamonds in there somewhere. [01:01:15] Speaker C: Yep. They grow on trees. [01:01:17] Speaker B: I'm told Tirrus has diamonds on them. [01:01:20] Speaker C: The problem is. See, the problem is you need 300 gold worth of diamonds, and so, in the feywild, if they're worth nothing, can't ever have 300 gold of diamonds. [01:01:30] Speaker D: That is an interesting potential. [01:01:32] Speaker C: No, it's. I don't know. I mean, technically, it's how it works. [01:01:37] Speaker D: But conversion rates could still work. It's just that nobody cares about gold. But if it's 300 gold worth yeah. [01:01:42] Speaker B: It'S so worth the same amount. They just don't care about. [01:01:44] Speaker C: Yeah, yeah, but they don't care about the diamonds. [01:01:48] Speaker D: Right? [01:01:50] Speaker C: Well, in that case, the smallest of diamonds is worth 300. [01:01:53] Speaker B: To me, money is an agreed upon value. [01:01:56] Speaker D: Look what you've done to us. We all become weird lawyers. [01:02:03] Speaker A: Just becomes a lawyering campaign exclusively. [01:02:05] Speaker B: I mean, that's pretty much what deals with the Fae are. [01:02:10] Speaker C: That's what Xeris has all been about. Always. [01:02:12] Speaker A: All right, Creedon. The instant this guy's pen hits the paper, three Eladron, winter Eladrine with long swords shift into the room. You recognize one of them immediately as the only other winter Eladrin you've met in town. Thistledown. [01:02:31] Speaker D: No, no, I never cared about that guy. I'd like to throw a fireball. [01:02:48] Speaker A: And that is the end of episode 53. Special thanks to Todd Ferguson, my pet machine, and Julie at elaborate flight of fancy links to them in our show notes. Don't forget to support your local artists and throw a rating and review at the theater nerds like myself. What are the forces aligned against the fairy prince of the Twilight city? Well, our heroes didnt investigate, so lets find out with them. Next time on carrots and the D and D Odyssey.

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